Welcome to the jungle

 Last night as I was finishing up my blog post Cole almost set the house on fire. He was trying to cook one of those sodium filled noodle bowls. He forgot to put the water in. I guess he was preoccupied because he was "Facetiming" with his new girlfriend. The house quickly filled up with smoke. The smell was awful. I was singing "Welcome to the Jungle" in my head.

 Here he is choking trying to get rid of the burnt noodles. I went to bed after this. I woke up in the morning with a killer headache. My guess would be it was from the burnt smell of noodles. Before I woke up I was having crazy dreams. Dreams that involved poop and puke. The one that I remember most was the bride and groom one. Hubs and I were out. We went to get into our limo. We frequent limos often...Not. When we got in the limo there was this Bride and Groom. They were drunk off their ass. I remember feeling sorry for them because they were on the way to their reception. The bride puked on herself and her hair as we were pulling up to our house. I told them to come in so we could clean them up and give them water and coffee. Hubs was like "Are you kidding me Kerry". I said we could not let them go to their reception like this. I was stressed about how I would get the puke out of her dress.....Then I woke up. Thank God! I laid there for a minute wondering why I would dream something so crazy. Maybe my sub was trying to tell me you need to be drunk to get married. Maybe it was telling me marriage can be pukey. So I dragged ass out of bed. I was quickly reminded of last nights noodle situation. The smell in the house is still awful.

 I go in to wake Cole up. I do a double take. He looks like a smurf. I get closer wondering if he got into my face masks. I see a blue pen laying next to him. There is no telling what the hell went on. I get him up and say..."Cole, what the heck happened to your face??". He is like "what do you mean?". I say "your whole face is blue". He grabs his face and says.."It is?". As if he didn't know!!!! He gets up and looks in the mirror. While standing there he says..."Aidan did this to me". I say.."Why would Aidan do this to you?". He shrugs his shoulders. I give him some apricot scrub and tell him to get in the shower.

 I go to find Aidan. He is asleep in the sofa with the dog. Look closely at his hand. It is blue.....busted. I wake him up. I ask him why in the world he would draw all over Cole's face. He looks at me and says..."Cause he told me to". I ask..."WHY". He says..."Because we were "Facetiming" with girls and we were trying to make them laugh". I say..."Guess who is not laughing?????". I go knock on the bathroom door to see if the smurf is out of the shower. He is so I walk in to talk to him. I tell him that Aidan said he told him to draw all over his face. He looks at me with this face only Cole can make and says..."Here's the thing Mom, we both had a little part in this situation". I say..."But you told me Aidan did this". He says.."Well he did Mom, I just left out the part when I asked him to do it". I say...."You were doing this to be funny????". He says.."Yes". I say..."Those girls probably think you two are twinkies". He says..."What are twinkies?". I say..."It's a nicer word for jack asses". He says.."Mom, calm down they were totally laughing". I say..."I bet they were". I tell him there is a big difference when someone laughing at you compared to when someone is laughing with you. He says..."Mom, you don't know how it is now, it's been a while since you were in middle school". Always has to have the last word. Later I ask if he has texted his new girlfriend. He says..."Mom, I got this". I say "that's what I'm afraid of". He says..."If I need help with girls I'll be asking Blake". I say..."Good luck with that".

I have been using my nutribullet for almost a week now. I love it. I want this baby to do all the things it claims to do. Here are my expectations....
1....claims to give you more energy.....I do feel a burst of good energy after I drink one.
2....Claims to give you nicer hair....That would be great between mental pause and these people mine is falling out.
3....Claims to get rid of aches and pains....I do think I feel less pain in my back
4....Claims to help shed pounds....No such luck yet. Guess you can't get a burger between shakes.
5.....Claims to brighten up your skin....I just want it to get rid of this questionable rash.
6.....Claims to help with hot flashes.....I have had less.
7.....Claims to fight depression....How could I possibly be depressed in this jungle.
8.....Claims to fight disease.....That would be a miracle for sure.

Really I'm using it because I want to get more fruits and veggies in my diet. It's easy to do and the clean up is easy. I love it so much I could leave these people and go on the road doing infomercials for it. Joking...Counting the days till school starts. Four more to go!!!!!!