So my mom...aka...Debbie Downer sends me a lot of Emails. Some I read and others I delete. I think she is one of the only people left still sending random Emails. The fact that the highlight of my Friday night is going through Debbie Emails is sad. So while going through Debbie emails I came across a few strange facts. There was one about WD40. So WD40 keeps flies off of cows. I can't help but wonder what farmer decided to not only spray his cows with WD40 but watched them long enough to see that the flies were gone. I bet there is a lot of shit you could spray on cows that would get rid of flies. My thoughts are AXE.....spray! WD40 also removes lip stick stains. I bet cheating men everywhere wish they knew this. People spray it on legs, arms, hands, and knees, to relieve arthritis pain. Really???? Can you imagine sitting there thinking my arthritis is bothering me. I think I will spray the shit out of myself with WD40! Your not a squeaky door jam!!!! Who thinks to do this???? I'm totally trying it next time I have pain anywhere! I'm thinking of that saying.."The squeaky wheel gets the oil.....only the squeaky joint gets WD40'd. It says it stops ants bites from itching. Damn someone had to be extremely itchy to have decided to spray WD40 on an ant bite. I wish I knew this when I sat in an ant pile earlier this year! I would have done almost anything to stop the itching. I guess I'm not all that and a bag of chips since I didn't think to spray WD40 on them. It says it removes all traces of duct tape. Good for all moms everywhere to know! Next time you can't stand your kids mouths you can not only dream about duct taping their mouths you can do it! Then you could WD40 their mouths and remove any evidence that you did anything wrong. When they call CPS on you, you can say...."Really??????? wouldn't they have duct tape crap left behind on their mouths if that were really true???". The kids would look at you like you lost your mind. You would just smile as if you were the best mom ever and flip them the bird behind the CPS person. Don't think I'm not buying a big supply of duct tape after hearing this. WD40 also untangles jewelry. It removes tomato stains....So all you tomato eating fools. Eat away with your can of WD40! It camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors. Good to know if your selling your house. Lubricates noisy door hinges or vehicle doors....No shit! Isn't that what it's for?????? Anyway there were like 40 something things it would do! Kinda funny that it's called WD40 and it does 40 random things!!!!! Still wondering what assholes experimented with the 40 to come up with these finds!
She sent me another email with random crap. The few things that got my interest were..."Did you ever notice: The Roman numerals for forty are XL. I think Hello that shit is loud and clear.....That's why I love Zumba! I refuse to XL myself in the years that "they say" are your best! Then there was the reason for middle names are so your kid knows when they are truly in trouble. Amen! What else could a middle name be for. Oh yes, to honor your relatives with awful names! Then there was the easiest way to find something missing is to replace it. Do you think if I lost Hubs and replaced him with a half dead billionaire people would judge???? I could duct tape him for a while. When I replace him I could WD40 him and act stupid about what happened to him. Gosh...that is awful for even me! Then it says....They who hesitates is probably right. I have hesitated most of my life. RED FLAG!
While writing this entry tonight my high school not so charming prince came down. He wanted to hang out with me and talk. I was shocked for sure. These are few and far between moments. I will take what I can get though. We talked about a lot of stuff. He asked me questions about me in high school. I lied a little bit. For the most part I did the normal high school stuff. I was a pretty good kid. He asked if ever got drunk in high school. I did. Not too much though. I was honest with him. I told him my times in high school drunk were not my greatest memories. I didn't know my limit then and we drank awful stuff that resulted in puking. We talked about lots more. It was nice to talk so openly with him. I hope he is listening to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment