Resolutions

 So this morning I woke up on this New Year and didn't want to get out of bed. Didn't have a New Year hang over so that's a plus. I don't know what my problem is lately. I felt blue in a way thinking about New Years resolutions that I'm afraid I will fail at. Don't know why I don't have the mind set to beat these resolutions. Starting this blog has been an eye opener when I read back on it. I talk a lot of shit but I don't do a lot about it. At least not for more than a week or two. I wish we could re program our brain to be the person we want to be. I would be a better person all around. I would have the motivation to learn how to write correctly. I would be workout barbie and a health nut. I would pick fruits, veggies, and bird feed over burgers. I would pick a tea over soda or cold beer. I would get my pictures off shutterfly and make books with them. I would be a better wife, mom, daughter, and friend. I would have perfect children. I guess I would have nothing to blog about then.

 I found this picture from Christmas. Love this perfect dog. Missing the day of snow for sure. It's been a long time since I saw snow on Christmas. Who knew it would happen in Dallas.

 Here's a picture of our tree. I cuss that bitch every time I walk by it. Damn pre light tree my ass. Notice the whole bottom is out. Those green lights are lights from Christmas past that I found. Thank you Garden Ridge for selling me a BS pre light tree. I'm not bitter or anything. I just want things I buy to do what they say they will. I'm tired of half ass made crap. I even wonder why my 1970's fridge works better than my 2005 one. Wow, I do sound bitter. NEXT...........

 So after I finally dragged my ass out of bed. The kids were like what are we doing today????? We can't possibly have a day when we just chill and watch lifetime. So we headed out to Academy Sports store. Their Christmas money was burning a hole in their pockets. I told them to look around while I looked around. Shopping with them is not my favorite thing to do. So I'm walking around the store and my phone rings. It's Cole he tells me they found what they want. I ask where they are at. He says "we're in the gun section". I walk over to the gun section. The two of them are standing there with two big ass BB guns in their hands. The Christmas Story movie pops in my head. In my head I'm saying.."You'll will shoot your eye out". I say to them "I thought we were coming here for football and baseball stuff". Cole says.."We want these for the new house since we have that forest area behind it". I look over to the left and see all the BB guns. They are frickin expensive. I ask which one they are holding. Cole points to the one they are holding. I about fall over when I see the hundred and eighty dollar price tag. I say..."there is no way y'all are spending that kind of money on BB guns". They start to complain. They tell me they have enough Christmas money to cover the cost. I say.."Yes, I know that but your not spending all of it on guns". They complain. I ask "why would you need these kind of guns anyway". "You'll shoot your eye out" is circling in my brain like the birds that circle people's heads in cartoons when they get hit. Aidan says..."We're going to hunt stuff". I say..."Stop right there....I did not raise you to shoot at birds, squirrels, rabbits, or each other". They complain. Cole says..."We're not going to hunt animals we're going to hunt targets that we hide for each other to find". "You'll shoot your eye out", You'll shoot your eye out, You'll shoot your eye out". I find myself saying "stop it" to my sub conscious. I tell them to put the guns back. There is no way the two of them are going to spend four hundred dollars on guns and pellets. Not when I can't shoot four hundred dollars in my face to take away all the miles they put on it. They complain. I say "lets go" and walk away.

I turn around to see if their following. They are both standing there with the guns in hand and faces that scream I'm the worst mom ever. I say..."You better put those guns down and get to the car". There is some guy in aisle that probably thinks we're all nuts. Birth control comes to mind since he is young. I happen to be a walking and talking birth control ad. I start to walk again. I turn around to find them still standing there guns in hand and crappy faces. Now my sub conscious is screaming...."FIRETRUCK". We have a bit of a stare down. I'm giving them they are the worst kids ever stare. I finally walk to the front of the store. I wait to see if their coming. Nothing. My guess is they are complaining that I'm the worst mom ever in the gun aisle. So I call Cole on his phone. I tell him I'm leaving with or without you guys. He says..."So your going to leave us here?". I say.."That's right". He says.."You wouldn't do that". I say.."Bet me, cause your Dad works a few blocks away and you can call him and tell him why he is picking you up here". He says.."We're staying". That "FIRETRUCK" is in my sub again. I say..."You might want to rethink this, imagine how mad your dad will be if he has to leave work over this". Cole says "We will be right there". That's what I thought. A friend of mine left her teenager in a store this week. I thought it was brilliant. I can just imagine all the complaining that was going on on their way to the door.

So they walk up, Cole with an "I can't believe this shit" look on his face and Aidan with his sad shocked face. I have my mommy mad as hell face on. We get in the car. They start complaining about how it's their money and they should be able to spend it as they please. They even say how I spend money on what ever I want. I say "Really, are you driving around in a BMW with your dressed to the nines mom with her perfect sun kissed body from her Christmas beach vacation?????". That last statement goes right over their heads. I turn up the radio to tune the spoiled children out. Hubs calls while we're in the car. I tell him Cole would like to speak to him. Cole gets on the phone and starts to plead his BB gun case. I can tell by his face that Hubs is shutting that shit down. He hangs up. I ask.."What does dad think?". He says..."He thinks it's crazy to spend that kind of money on a BB gun".  Hello, Mama isn't crazy!

 After a super fun day out shopping with two of my kids I come home to clean and do laundry. I come across some cheese fries left over from my cheese fry melt down. My day just gets better. Aidan is still on the BB gun case. Cole has forgotten about it. Aidan is looking up "You Tube" videos of the gun they wanted to buy. THANK YOU technology for making already hard parenting harder. He walks up to argue his case once again. Saying things "Like it's his money and he has wanted that gun his whole life". I say.."Your whole life are you kidding me?"." I just bought you every damn baseball thing on your Christmas list". "Can you enjoy those things for more than five minutes please????". I finally lose it. I'm saying all the things I swore I'd never say to my kids. Ya know the "You make Christmas no fun" the "there are kids in the world who get shoes and coats for Christmas...because that's a treat for them". "Not the Nike shoes or the Under Armor jacket either". "The Walmart ones"!!!!!!!! Because kids give a shit when you say these things. Unfortunately they don't get this till they have their own kids. By the end I'm gathering up everything I bought him dragging it to my room and telling him I'm giving it to a kid who deserves it. The kind of kid who appreciates it and has joy in their face when they get it. Not the kind who is on to the next big thing. He is on the sofa crying. I would normally be in my closet crying but I think this hormone cream may be working. Thank you God for small favors.

A little time goes by. Aidan comes up to say he is sorry. I sit him down to tell him how much it hurt my feelings. He tells me that I hurt his feeling too. I say.."Why, cause you didn't get to buy something you wanted?". He says "Yes". I say.."There are starving kids in the world do you know how good you have it?". He says.."I would hate to be a starving kid with no Christmas gifts". I tell him he may be that starving kid with no gifts next year if he doesn't change his spoiled ways. He knows I'm full of shit and that is the problem.

So thinking back on the events of the day. I urge anyone with young kids reading this blog to learn from my mistakes. They are super cute at two when you want to shower them with gifts they don't even know exist. Gifts that you wish you had put in their college fund instead years later. Gifts that ended up being played with for five minutes or not at all. Gifts that end up at Goodwill. Gifts that you bought instead of buying the great boots for yourself. Buy the boots! Your setting yourself up for failure for sure. They start to expect. They are not that cute two year old in a blink. They are spoiled and you are trying to backtrack. Then they are spoiled kids who feel entitlement. You will have no one to blame but yourself. We set them up this way and then we don't understand what happened. At least a lot of us. There are those parents that I'm green over that have raised non spoiled kids. If I had a do over as I dream about a lot. I would do everything different. I would get them half the gifts. I would put the other half of the money in a fund for them. It would be named "Get the hell out of my house" fund. I would encourage the Grandparents and relatives to get them a small gift and put the rest in my "Get the hell out of my house" fund. The money I have spent on these kids over the years could probably buy them their first car and they would have a large down payment for a house. How awesome would it have been to get a check like that when you went out into the real scary world??? In a perfect world we could rewind like the DVR can. Before you know it you have this kind of spoiled kid you swore you would never raise. Another thing I would do over I would expose my kids to the less fortunate. I would make them adopt a child with nothing. I'm doing this next year. It's about time my kids see that Hubs and I do not in fact shit money...even if that's a nice thought.

After we were home Cole was telling me about a text from someone who was not telling him who she was. She was giving him clues. She was telling him she liked him. He was showing me the text. Then he gets a "Face Time" call from her. He ends up "face timing" with her for hours. I mean hours! I was laying next to his bedroom door trying to listen. All I could here was silly laughing from the girls. They kind of sounded like the coyotes I heard out back last night. I guess I have forgotten how silly girls can be. Then I could hear Cole hacking his awful cough. I went in and handed him a cough drop. He wants me to say Hi to the girls. I do. When I walk out I hear the girls say.."Your mom is pretty". I like those girls. He is still on the "Face Time" with them hours later. He has given them a "Face Time" tour through our rental. He is singing country music to them now. Another hits the dust is ringing in my head. Damn Girls!

Final notes...my New Years resolutions went right out the door first day out. I promised to be a better mom...out the door. I promised to eat better...out the door after we got cheeseburgers. Promised to cut out beer....out the door, the kids are still on break! There is no way I can do any of this till my kids go back to school. I do have to say I crazy love my Nutibullet. I could be a living walking infomercial for this favorite thing in my house. I will blog about it later though. Twisty and Hubs are negative...just sayin. My biggest resolution is to get rid of my double cheese burger with extra bacon belly. So Cole is still on the "Face Time" with these girls. I'm laughing at the drama filled conversation going on. Cole now has a girlfriend..Jasmine...this might be a blog in it self.  I'm also laughing about the fact that Cole just tried to make "yakisoba" noodles and forgot to put the water in. My house is filled with smoke about now and we have the back door open. It's freezing in here!!!!! Pictures to come after I set this not so smart child right! Again too tired to proof read...take it or leave it!