Three rolled around and I needed to get Pig Pen from school. I didn't know how I would make it because my stomach was killing me. I got him in the car and told him I didn't feel good at all. He says..."You need to take a hot shower, get in your PJ's, and relax". So sweet. I ask him if he will take care of me and if I can live with him when I'm old. He says..."Yes, of course you can". AWE! I say, "What if I'm a crazy crabby old lady?". He says..."I will build you a separate house then". I like his way of thinking since I often picture myself in a seperate house in the yard. I say "What if your wife hates me?". He says...."I will dump her then because I don't like anyone who doesn't like you". AWE!!!!!!! I'm saving this blog entry just in case I have any problems with his future wife!!!!!!!! Bitch is out if I don't like her!!!!!! HeHe...I'm just kidding I swear!
We go home for a bit before I have to head to Drip to pick up Cole. He gets in the car and I ask how was school. He says..."Aright". I ask how it went having a girlfriend in school for the first time. He looks at me with a face only Cole can make and he says...."I'm just not that guy". I say.."What guy". He says very dramatically..." the drama kind of guy". I don't want to laugh because my stomach is killing me. But boy I'm laughing inside for sure. I say..."What does all this have to do with having a girlfriend?". He says..."Everyone acts all dramatic about it and teases me". I think in my head "Imagine that". I can't believe 6th graders could act so silly. I go into my speech. The one about how sensitive girls are. I tell him he better be respectful and kind to her. He shakes his head as if he hears what I'm saying. We get home and I check his phone. I have been watching his text back and forth with her like a hawk. She text something about how annoying all the kids were in school about them dating. She text about some not so nice things kids said. She was rambling, apologizing, asking if he was there cause he was not texting back. She was questioning him and why he was dating her and then apologizing again. Asking again why he was not texting back. She then text telling him people are texting her telling her he's going to break up with her. She text she doesn't want to be the girl that everyone dates for a few days and breaks up with. Oh my, how many guys could this girl have dated she is all of 12. "DRAMA", I think her and Cole make a good couple. Then texting things like "Hello, are you mad at me, do you still like me, am I being annoying. and so on. Typical tween girl stuff. Reminds me of myself at that age. Thank you Jesus I did not have a texting phone or a facebook!!!!! He was not texting back and it was driving her nuts. Typical right???? Girl doesn't get that never gets better! Then I see a text from him that made me want to scratch me eyes out. He text just think of us as "Justin and Selena". I realize right then and there that he hears nothing that I say!!!!!! She text back their broken up. He text back exactly. My heart sank!
So I call him in to have a chat about the text. I say..."Cole that "Justin and Selena" comment is so rude". I tell him I can't believe how mean that is. He says..."I told you mom I'm not that guy". I say..."What guy???". He says..."The dating guy". He tells me girls text too much and their too dramatic about stuff. I get that judging by all the dramatic text. That's not the point though. I tell him that he needs to text her and tell her he was just kidding. I tell him she doesn't want to be that girl the guys just break up with. I tell him to let me text her and fix things. He says "What are you going to say". So he's thinking about letting me text her. I say.."I'm going to tell her you were joking and that you don't want to break up". "I'm going to tell her that you were just bothered by the teasing but you or her shouldn't listen to immature kids". "I'm going to tell her she looked nice today and that you lucky she's your girlfriend". He says..."You didn't see her. How do you know she looked nice?". I say.."Girls like to hear things like that". He says..."Mom, all that makes me sound crazy and you can't text her that craziness". So I sit there and I think he is right. I'm trying to turn him into the guy I wanted in middle school. The guy that said all the right things. He's right he would sound crazy because no 6th grade boy talks like that. Men really are from Mars I'm reminded of that everyday! If only I knew that in my younger years...it would have explained a lot! I tell him please text her and tell her you were kidding about the Justin thing and wait a while to break up with her because I felt bad about what she wrote in that text. I don't want her to be that girl. I try to tell him again how sensitive girls are. He agrees and sends her a "JKing" text. She sends a text about hanging out before school. I may have text back..."Of course". Because that is totally something a 6th grade boy would say!!!! I did get hearts back though! If only we aged in reverse we would be a much better society.I do feel better that he told her he was joking even if I helped him with that conclusion.
Day two of the kids are back in school. I get up hoping to feel better. Not so much. My stomach hurts more than ever. I'm tying to get the kids ready. While I'm doing this Pig Pen is hanging over the toilet telling me he's going to puke. I say..."Come on get ready, you are fine". He has a bad habit of faking illness. I go up to get Blake. When I come down Aidan says.."I threw up". I say.."Let me see". Cause I love to look at puke. So it looks like there's puke in the toilet. I tell him to go back to bed. I take the other two to school. They complain all the way there that Aidan is a faker. I get home double overed in pain and go back to bed. I wake up to Pig Pen eating and playing Xbox. I think he sure doesn't look sick. I'm sick though so I lay back down. I start to panic because I have watched way too much Dr OZ. I start to think what if this is colon cancer or stomach cancer. I start to think this is a different pain than I normally get and it's not going away. And I wonder where the Pig Pen gets his worry from.
I have to go get Cole, Blake, and Blake's girlfriend from school. Blake gets in the car and puts his jacket over his face. I say.."What are you doing??". He says..."Your sick and I don't want it". So much for him telling me to take a hot shower and relax. After we get home I lay on the sofa, hurting! I can't stand up straight without pain. My throat is still sore too. Damn, Karma! I get up to make some dinner. I can't eat but I sit down to visit with the kids while they eat. Blake's girlfriend says..."Kerry, I read your blog". I feel my face start to heat up, my stomach hurts more! I say..."You do???". Knowing good and well I have blogged about her. Now I never use names except my immediate families names but I'm sure she knew it was her I referred to as a "thing". She says.."It's funny". I say "thank you". I ask "do you read it all the time?". She says.."It's been a while". Thank you God for small favors!!!!!! Now I do have to say I referred to her as a "thing" because that's what Blake referred to her as. I was complaining about the fact that he referred to her as a "thing". He said she referrers to him as a "thing" too. I just don't get this generation!!!! I would never want to be anyones "thing" well unless it was the most fabulous "thing" they ever had! I really like her a lot! My gosh though there is no telling what I joked on here!!!!! BTW, later in the day I realize that Pig Pen threw his cereal in the toilet to look like puke! He is a brilliant ass! Now that I think back it did look like frosted flakes that sat in milk too long!
Day three of the kids are back in school. I wake up with no pain in my stomach. My throat is still sore and I'm super weak and tired. I get all the kids to school Pig Pen included. I go home hit the hay and wake up at 11. I still feel under the weather. I have almost no energy. At 2:00 I manage to get up and clean most of the house. The rental is nice it takes a few hours to clean verses two days. I start to think about the fact Hubs just got diagnosed with Mono two weeks ago. Now the fact that it is the "Kissing disease" is an on going joke with everyone I know. Still wondering who Hubs has been kissing I "google" Mono symptoms. Fatigue, aches, sore throat, could last a month to several months. Doesn't explain stomach pain, at least not yet! Then I come across mono can make your spleen enlarge which causes stomach pain!!!! Bingo! I think I have it! I call Hubs and say..."You gave me mono!!!!!". He says..."No I didn't, we don't kiss and you haven't even slept in the same bed because of hot flashes". He's kind of ugly and bitter. I say..."but we do drink out of the same beer sometimes and my God we have played hide the sausage". He says..."Played hided the sausage we're not in high school". I say..."but you did give it to me meaning mono". He says.."Don't go around telling everyone you have it cause you don't even know". I say.."Hello, sore throat, fatigue, body ache, stomach issues". He says...."that's all the shit you eat". No, sympathy. I did go to Zumba tonight hoping to sweat out this whatever it is. I did sit out for a few songs though! When I sat out I got on the scale, thinking I have not been able to eat for three days. I know I lost weight. Not at all.....are you kidding me??? Is this new found fat frickin super glue or what?????? I'm going to get my blood checked tomorrow to see if it's mono. If so Hubs ass is grass! I am just joking! I hope I don't have it though. While "googling" I realized that it is linked to "MS" which I have. I don't need this to get any worst....Do you hear me universe!!!!!! BTW, Cole broke up with that sweet poor girl that everyone breaks up with today! So much for "MaMa knows best". I have lots of work with these people so I need to be healthy!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE, I KNOW MY KIDS DON'T BUT DO YOU???? Final note...New Years resolutions suck and they have already went out the door!
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