Friday, December 28, 2012
So today I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to exchange my magic bullet. When I opened it I realized it was the nutribullet that I wanted. I got there and went up to the customer service counter. They took my magic bullet and told me to go get the nutibullet and come back. I don't know about you but when I think about what a "magic bullet" is I do not think fruit and veggie juicer. It's an odd name to say the least. I have had a few magic bullets before but never one that made healthy juices. Sign of the times for me. Sign of the times that I'm getting old. The fact that I want juicing magic bullet rather than a true "magic bullet" kind of sucks. Back to my story. So I go around the store and find the nutibullet and some reading glasses. Another sign of the time. I go back to customer service. Now there is a huge line. So there are two cashiers and one line. So I'm minding my own business when the lady in front of me turns around to talk to me. She looks at me with her crabby ass face and says..."Do you know this is one line for both these cashiers????". I look at her and say..."Yes, I know that, why do you ask????". She looks at me with her crabby face and says..."It looks like your trying to cut the line because your cart is moving in the direction of that cashier". I look at her with this odd face. Mostly because I'm shocked at what she just said. So I say....."Seriously?". She looks at me with her crabby face and says.."Sure looks your trying to cut the line". So I pull my cart back and ask her if that makes her feel better. She rolls her eyes at me and says.."Yes". I'm thinking in my head lady needs to get laid...Oh wait no one wants to lay a crabby bitch. My Dad had told me before that I always need to get the last word. So I'm stewing thinking of lots of not so nice things to say to her. I can't let her get the last word especially after she accused me of being a line cutter. I think for a minute about what I'm going to say. I'm thinking.....Jeez...were in Bed Bath and Beyond...it's not like I'm some teenager at an amusement park trying to cut the line. I then say..."Hey Lady, before you make an fool of yourself and accuse someone of cutting the line maybe you should be sure that they are in fact cutting the line". She looks at me and says again..."Sure looked like you were trying to cut". Holy Shit....is this women for real?????? At this point the manager walks over to me to take me to another line. Not because he knows I'm fighting with the lady in front of me, but because they are trying to get the line moving. But damn it that crazy crabby lady got the last word. I kind of hate that...so much so that I wanted to chase her in the parking lot to fight more....And I wonder where Cole got that annoying trait from.
When the manager took me to the new line they asked for my receipt. I thought I had it but I had the wrong one. He told the girl to ring it as a no receipt sale. So she rang it and I got full credit for it even though I had a 20 percent off coupon when I bought those. So I got full credit and had another 20 percent coupon for the exchange....score!!!! My evil mind makes me think. I think if I was a single mom with no money I could go buy something really expensive here with a 20 percent coupon. I could then return it the next day with a no receipt exchange and get more money back then I spent. I could feed my kids with the extra money. Because Karma haunts my world I have felt really guilty about the whole thing the rest of the day.
After Bed Bath and Beyond I headed back to Drippin. I called my Dad...aka..Grumps on my way back. I wanted to find out when he planned on bringing my niece...aka..the golden jerk to Texas. We had a really long conversation. This is rare because Grumps is no phone talker. I think I may just be his favorite...besides "Golden Jerk". This is going to chap Twisty's ass for sure. When I got into Drippin I went to home depot to get the 75 percent off Xmas decorations. They had NOTHING left. Then I headed to the HEB...aka...grocery store. I went to get stuff for my new nutibullet. Oh yes, I bought frickin hormone cream too. Sign of the times. On my way out there was this sweet old guy. He said.."Oh my looks like you shopped a lot and have a lot to load". I laughed and said.."Always". He asked if I needed any help. I politely said I would be fine. He says.."Have a good weekend pretty girl". That was nice after my encounter with the crabby lady.
My night ended with meeting some friends for a drink and some food. It was good to see them. I miss my friends since my kids occupy most of my time now. I'm back home blogging now. Since it's Christmas break fights are erupting around me. My kids are seriously fighting over the bathroom right now. Hubs is asleep and I want to pull my hair out. A little more than one more week to go...counting the days.
On a final note...one of my friends I met out was laughing about this blog. She said.."Your grammar is God awful". I love that about her. Honest friends are the best friends. We laughed about it. So I feel the need to say sorry for bad grammar. I got a comment from someone named Shari on here last night. Whenever I get a comment I'm waiting for a hater. Someone who tells me I suck. I guess because I read other blogs who have so many hater comments. She was not a hater....she was so sweet and has a one year old. I looked up her blogs she has two. I'm thinking she is from my home town in Chicago judging by one of her blogs. Thank you Shari for not being a hater. Oh yes, and good luck to you when that one year old hits the teen years. Enjoy those sweet baby moments because they go super fast. I'm starting to sound like one of those old ass annoying people with all those old ass sayings that happen to be true. So here I sit tonight thinking about my magic juicer, reading glasses, and hormone creams...hoping they all do what they claim to do.....Sign of the times!
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Cole....Mom can my friends spend the night. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. (Mind you he spent the night with them last night)
Me...Your Dad has to work, he will kill me. Aidan and his friend woke him up at 3am last night.
Cole...He is your husband what's he going to do hurt you? I don't think so.
Me....Awfully brave on your phone smart A.
Cole....Mom you always do this. You have to trust me on this one. We will be responsible and quiet. u don't understand that you always do this. U say my friends are over a lot They have not been over this whole year. Dad will not even know. (this one blows me away on so many levels. One is he crazy his friends are over a lot. I have done my fair share of sleepovers. Dad will never know....that's a good one.)
Cole...HELLO, PLEASE...DID YOU FORGET YOU HAVE A SON? (UM, NO how could I)
ME....You just spent the night together, we can do it Saturday when Dad doesn't have to work in the AM.
Cole.....NO PLEASE, MOM, did you not read my text. U have turned into a mean mom. Now we don't like you as much cause all you do is say NO, NO, NO.
ME....Hey Brave texting boy, after that text you are grounded and your phone is mine...Dad is on the way to get you. Your play date just got cut short because of you.
Cole....MOM, PLEASE LET US SPEND THE NIGHT...(seriously?????)
So I send Hubs to get him. I have his phone now and I'm reading all his messages. Thank God his are still really boring. So Hub's is over on the computer and I'm watching shit TV and scrolling the phone. Hubs says.."What are we doing for New Years?" I say.."No, definite plans, we have been invited a few places, maybe we should party hop". He says..."What about the kids?". I say "What about them?" He says..."Shouldn't we do something with them?" I say.."As in hang out with them New Years night". He says.."Yes" I ask..."Are you dying and you haven't told me yet?". I have truly never heard him say anything like this before about New Years. He says..No, but they are not going to want to hang with us much longer and I don't see them that much". I say.."Well I see them all the time and I'm alright with them not wanting to hang out much longer". He says.."No, really Kerry I'm being serious". I say.."I am too, we can see them another night". Remember I spend way too much time in the car with these kids. Now we have had kids for fifteen years, I can't remember ever really hanging with them on New Years. That an our anniversary are kid free nights. He says.."I'd really like to hang out with them this year". I say..."Yeah kiddie cocktails, lots of white noise, and I'm sure some fights we will be breaking up". I get it...He does have to work the next day.
Hubs is in bed now. Blake the not so charming prince is texting me from upstairs. He wants a ride to a friends house to stay over. It's 11:21. I text...NO! He text PLZ, PLZ. I'm not even responding. It's like they think I'm their personal limo driver. I already drove him and his girlfriend to the mall earlier today. That "I'm not going to take it" song is in my head. A teenager of the 80's I truly am. Cole walks up and wants to see my phone since his is gone. I ask for what. He says he wants to talk to the Siri lady. I give it to him for a minute. He's trying to get her to answer a football question. I guess he does not like the answer. He is seriously arguing with the iPhone lady. Saying things like "OH My Gosh, I told you that's not the answer I'm looking for" and "Your not hearing what I'm saying Siri". I finally tell him to give me the phone back because I'm tired of listening to him. He's like "but she's not giving me the right answer". I say.."I got that, but you realize your not arguing with a real person and she is obviously going to keep giving you that answer that is the way she is programed". He's like.."What do you mean she's not a real person???". Then he says..."How does she talk then mom...duh...of course she is real". I think I may just have a cocktail tonight!!!!! I don't know why but after writing this one I feel the need to say...I do really love my kids that means Cole too. Even if I'm the mean Mom. You will not see me posting anything crazy on facebook like...."I really love having my kids home for Xmas break". Sometimes I roll my eyes at those post...mostly because of jealously. I want to be that mom. I'm sure I will feel that way when their in college or maybe if I take that Xanex the doctor gave me months ago. As of now a few hour break during the day from them helps me be a better mom.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
We had a great time in the big "D" even if it was too short. I had a great time with MiMi. I had some great talks with Lindz. Joey is always a laugh. Dude has a good one liner for everything. Tracy cooked a great meal...I swear she's missing her calling. It's always good to see Jeff. I got to see my niece who I haven't seen in a long time plus Blair and Mandy. She's as adorable as ever. So wish God would have blessed me with a girl. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade these boys I live with but a girl would be nice in the mix. Thank God I have two nieces even if I cussed the shit out of their parents when they had them. At least my girly self can now shop for girly gifts. Plus I only laugh at their girl drama.
So tonight I'm back home after a traffic filled drive back from the big "D". Pig Pen talked me into a sleep over. My kids have had more sleepovers than I ever did as a kid. They are still up just complaining....do they ever tire out??? I'm blogging and watching housewives. Hubs is sleeping cause he has to work. Life is hard for me. I'm also thinking about New Years resolutions. Wondering if I can follow through with them. It's the same old, same old. Be a better Mom...Until they piss me off, be a better wife until he pisses me off, take better care of myself until I need a beer, eat better till I pass a cheeseburger joint, and be a better friend, until I shit talk someone, because most people give us something to talk shit about. I'm really working on all of that. I do believe the older I get that most of us talk a little shit here and there. We all think we are judge Judy. I know people talk a little shit about me. That song "Let's give them something to talk about" comes to mind. I do think we talk shit to make ourselves feel better. I'm missing spending my Christmas in Chicago even if my Christmas in "D" was good. In a perfect world I would have all my important people together during the holidays. Universe do you hear me???? I don't know about you but I make resolutions with every intention of following through....then life gets in the way. Once again I should not post this till I proof read. I'm lazy though....working on that too. I'm a work in progress for sure. Hope everyone had a great Christmas.....I hit an all time high with readers on here this month. Not sure where you all are coming from but I hope it's not all the people "googling" boys private parts. Not sure why this takes "googlers" to my blog but my news feed lets me know everyday that there are lots of pervs out there. I thank you for reading my way too honest rants and putting up with bad writing and grammar...some day when I have time to myself, I will take a writing class. Cheers, everyone!
So I'm in the bathroom crying over the fact that I just threw the cheese fries I really wanted at the wall. Hubs walks in. He looks at me and says..."I don't know what that was, but that's not you". He says.."I don't know what to tell the kids what that was". Then he says.."I'm telling you as your friend that your kids are confused and will not respond to that kind of behavior". I look at him and tell him "you have to have my back good or bad and you didn't, you corrected me in front of Blake which teaches him to not respect what I'm saying". He says.."I get that but you can't call him an idiot". I say.."He was being an idiot though". He says.."I get that, but you still cannot call him that...it's not right". I say.."I get that, but you have to have my back because I always come back down and explain myself and say sorry". We argue some more. I tell him I'm not going to Dallas. I don't mean it I'm just pulling the girl card and trying to make my point. That I'm not going to take being treated like one of his kids. So we end up in the joyful car ride to Dallas. Were both mad but we make the best of it. Hubs put headphones on to tune us all out. I play a game on my iPhone. The kids are on best behavior because they know I'm super close to insanity. I look over at Hubs and ask a question. He ignores me because of those damn headphones. So I put my hand up in front of me and act like I'm talking to it. I have a whole conversation with my hand, Hubs looks over and laughs and then continues to sing whatever song he is listing too. And he wonders why I'm close to insanity!
Monday, December 24, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
So this am was the last day of sanity for me kind of! It was the last day of school before the two week Christmas break kind of. I say kind of because Aidan's "Holiday party" as they like to call it now was at 8am. Anyone who knows me knows I like to get the kids to school and go back to bed. So the idea of an 8am holiday party is not my idea of fun. Especially the ones you can take your kids home after. Then the middle school and high school got out at noon. After spending an hour in pick up lines and traffic I was home with more kids than I birthed! Yeah it's Christmas break! I already have a headache.
Shortly after I'm home I get a text from Hubs. It reads.."Are we exchanging for Christmas and if so what do you want?". I text back.."Surprise me". He text.."Your hard to buy for". I text.."We are married for 17 years think of something". Then I text.."I had no problem finding you a gift". He text..."Give me an idea". Then he text.."So and Sos wife took pictures for him". I text..."Oh I'll send you some pictures no problem"..."BTW, I think either you or so and so is full of shit". (The pictures he is thinking I'll send him are not the ones on my mind right now) He text.."Your so difficult". I text.."I'm simple if you listen". He text..."How about a vacuum?". I text.."OK". He text.."Seriously, then I need the cost co card back". I text.."You buy me a vacuum you just bought yourself a no sex card for a very long time". He text..."Just Kidding then". I text.."I have an idea, pretend you have a very hot new girlfriend that your trying to impress and pretend your shopping for her". No response!!!! About an hour later I get a text from my sister...it says.."Your husband text me and asked what you want for Xmas". Priceless!!!! Where did the romance go????
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
So the note. Lets analyze this! Girl has a lot to learn. Breakup notes are never good. Do it in person. That proves you have character, that is a good trait to have. I love the drama in the 4th grade for God sakes. Friends???? Boys are never well almost never friends with girls who break up with them. Maybe years later after they find a better girl. Change??? I laugh just writing that down. I'm a girl, I have been there wanting to "Change" a guy. I once even tried to change a gay guys mind. He would have been my perfect mate. All caring, super good looking(aren't most of them) loving a good outfit, loving some good gossip, digging shopping, bitching, noticing a good haircut, being honest about a bad hair color, and the drama...We all want to "Change" our guys into our perfect mate!!!! It's why a lot of us women love the book 50 shades of dirty!!!! Damn girl changes that guy who happens to shit money too! We can't change them.....UNFORTUNATELY!!! It sucks I know. We can change them maybe a little when they want something from us or when we really get mad at them. Then they go back to that un-changed guy after. So you better like the guy you pick good or bad. Your not changing him. So girlfriend....word...if eating something weird is the worst thing you can say about my son then good luck to you. Spoken like a true Mama bear! I hope you know I'm joking since this is a 4th grade non romance! I'm still laughing at the fact that my 4th grader got a break up note. I guess he is not too heart broken since he came home and showed Blake...aka...the not so charming prince and Blake's girlfriend the note and laughed about it. Wait Blake doesn't have a girlfriend. He corrects me every time I say that. He says it's a "thing"! This "thing" has gone on and off since the 6th grade. I may be old school but I would not like being referred to as a "thing". I complain to him about this a lot. He tells me that she calls him her "thing" too. From where I'm standing this "thing" is not going away anytime soon. This "thing" seems to have him wrapped around her finger. I really like the "Thing" for now. Ask me if the "thing" is still around in a few years. No seriously if this "thing" stayed around I would be alright because for some reason they seem to connect in a way that is really sweet. I'm kind of proud of the fact that all my boys seem to be very loyal to the girls they pick. Cole is in 6th and has liked the same girl since 1st grade. Blake is a freshman and has liked the same girl since 6th grade. As far as Aidan this is the first "girlfriend" and it only lasted a day! He may be a little more like me than I hoped! When I was much younger. My Dad teased me about making a calender of the boyfriend of the month for me. Now I have been married 17 years...who knew! Not Dad..aka..Grumps!
Final note....I wish my not so charming prince could fast forward to his 30 something life. He would get why I get mad at him and understand why I say and do the things I do. I wish my 6th grader would just chill out as far as being stressed out over finals. I only expect him to do the best he can. The fact that he was up till midnight last night stressing makes me sad and happy at the same time. I love that he cares but I don't want him to care so much he can't sleep. Then there is my Aidy baby as I like to call him. This kid fears the world in a way I would never wish on my worst enemy. I want him to relax and smell the roses. Then there is Hubs my wish for him is that he could relax and smell the roses too! He is a good man. I was taken back a few days ago when I got a text from him that asks if I thought he was a good Dad because he was second guessing himself. I text back Of course your a good Dad otherwise I would have kicked you to the curb. He text back that he feels that sometimes he gets mad when our kids are just trying to be kids and doing kid things. I text back..they really suck sometimes and I know what your talking about....damn them for not acting like perfect adults. Then there is me. My thought about me is I would like to go to a celebrity rehab for thirty days. Not cause I have a drinking problem...I can fake it though. I want to go for the massages, meditation, and therapy. Then I want to come back and have a re-do with these kids! Really who knew raising kids would be so hard. You not only have to feed them but you have to raise them to be good hearted, hardworking, acceptable adults. I guess what I'm trying to say is my biggest hope is my kids will end up healthy first of all. they will end up doing something in life that has meaning and makes them happy, and they will end up with someone who has their back and gives them joy. That is all I ask! I know they will endure disappointments, and heartache on their way. That is a part of life. But I only hope they find something or someone who completes them. I'm getting a little too sappy for my taste so I will stop. I think I'm half way there living on a prayer. Thank you Bon Jovi for that! Again too tired to proof read! My blog is what it is. Think of all the bad writing as life. Not so perfect!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
After this I tell Hubs how mad I am because the bottom half of my pre-lite tree is no longer lit. We just bought it at Garden Ridge last year. Hub's told me to go get it after I had a meltdown when we set up our last pre-lite tree and only one strand came on. He says..."Your not getting another one". I know that! I just want a frickin pre-lite tree....to be pre-lite. Not half lite! Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Another Aidan story. So I found out something that happened to Blake this summer did not go down as I thought. I will not blog about it because I do have a small filter even though some people think I don't. I was on the phone with Hub's going over all the reasons I should have never believed what him and his friends told us. This is my first run with a teenager. I should know from my teenage years that if something smells fishy it probably is. So Aidan later that night tells me he has a "theory" about what happened to Blake. He then repeats everything that I told Hubs over the phone. I tell him "You heard me on the phone with Dad and you stole my theory". He is like.."No, I thought this for a long time and I'm just now telling you". I tell him there is no way because you just repeated every word I told Hubs on the phone. He does this Charlie Brown line smile and says.."It's what I thought happened all along". I say..."Your such a story stealer and I have your number". He just walks away with nothing to say! That's what I thought "story stealer"!!!!!
Final note....I started doing Zumba three weeks ago. I'm doing Zumba four days a week. Three weeks and going strong. I love the class. It makes me not want to strangle my kids. It is a stress relief for sure. You would think after three weeks I would shed a pound. Not so much! I have not lost a pound even though I leave there as if I just got out of the shower. Bullshit I say! I sticking with it though. Even if some chick told me I need to change my diet to lose weight. I made a deal with God, If I work out I can eat and drink. I'm busting my ass so I can eat at my age. This is new for me for sure. I was that girl who could eat and not work out before 40 hit. I refuse to be the fat friend...so I'm sticking with this even if my new found belly is sitting in my lap as I write! Who knew...Oh yes all the assholes who told me it would catch up to me! I have to say...I'm not going to proof read cause It took me a long time to write so it is what it is...judge away! Someday when my Mama quiets work she will proof read and re write for me!
Friday, December 14, 2012
I get that the media needs to report on this. I do not believe that they should show all the pictures of the horrified parents and children. I think they should have a little privacy during this time. Sometimes I think the media exploits people like this. As I was watching the news coverage I couldn't help but think, I sure wouldn't want anyone filming me or taking pictures if I had been through this.
I can't even imagine what a scene like this would look like to the police officers that were called in. My stomach feels sick when I think about the kids, teachers, parents, and police officers. Makes me mad that people go through and see things like this. These parents probably have gifts under the tree for these kids and plans for Christmas. Not to mention all the hopes and dreams they have for their babies futures. The most heartbreaking thing I heard on the news was when the kids were taken to the fire station. The parents were there to reunite with their kids. Can you even fathom what it would be like when the last child's name was called and you are still standing there without yours. The thing that bothered me most of all about this thing was the shooter. He couldn't have shot them all at once. So he saw the terror on the kids faces after they had seen other kids shot and still shot them. Could someone possibly have not one ounce of sensitivity? It really boggles my mind and shocks me. Bad things happen to kids everyday. They get their feeling hurt, they get sick, and sometimes they get so sick that they are going to die. Anytime something bad happens to an innocent child it is heartbreaking. As bad as all those things are those kids have their loved ones there taking care of them and making those situations as good as they can. It bothers me that these kids did not have their loved ones there, they were probably scared to death, and this horrible person didn't care at all. I feel for the ones who were the last to go. I hope God is taking good care of them tonight. Life is a gift, I am reminded of that today. I do not believe anyone involved in or close to that situation would agree with me on that now. I believe that life is hell on earth for them right now. I hope I never feel pain like that in my life. I have had my heart broken, my spirit broken, my trust broken, and my faith broken. I have never been broken to the point of no return though. So I will not be complaining about these people I live with tonight.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
This kid has been passionate right from the start. This passion has its positives and negatives for sure. With all this being said he is also an amazing kid. He is the only one of my boys that hugs me and tells me he loves me everyday. He always knows if something is wrong and tries to help. He is a good and loyal friend. As much as he pisses me off he makes me proud too. He has a very caring heart. Now I just need to put my fighting gloves on and kick this TUDE in the ass. Cause when Mama is mad no one is happy.
It seems every time I get in the car with him he expects me to stop for food or drinks somewhere. I picked him up yesterday from school. He gets in the car and immediately starts complaining that he is starving. I tell him he can have something to eat at home. He asks me ten more times to stop. His friend is in the car too. I keep saying "NO". Then he is talking to himself out loud. Saying things like..."I can't believe my mom wants to starve me" and "SO and so's Mom would stop and get food". I'm thinking in my head..."I'd like to drop kick your ass out of my car right now and leave you on the side of the road". I don't want CPS at my door though. This talking to himself goes on and on. I finally lose my shit and yell at him. His response..."Mom, why are you so mad, all I want is some food". Really???? Kid just doesn't get it. So we drop his friend off. As soon as he gets out of the car Cole starts up. He says.."Mom, you are so embarrassing, you yelled at me in front of my friend". He tells me the kid is going to go to school and tell everyone he has the worst mom ever. I look at him and say...If your going to be the worst kid ever then I'm going to be the worst mom ever. I tell him the faster he gets that through is brain the better off we will be. That is if you don't starve to death first!!!!!!!! He looks at me and says..."Are you trying to say you want me to starve to death?". At this point I don't know if I want to scream as loud as I can or cry. He always has to have the last word. My Dad used to say one of the things that drove him nuts about me was I always had to have the last word. He said no matter how much trouble I was in I would push the envelop every time. I get all my Dads frustrations with that now. I'm paying for my raising as the old asses like to say.
Tonight he was pushing the envelope with Hubs. Hubs looks over at him and says...."Cole, stop your giving me a headache". Cole looks at him and says...."Michael, your giving me a headache too". I'm on the sofa and my mouth kind of drops open. I can't believe what he just said. I look over at Hubs who's face is about as red as a tomato. He is about to blow!!!!! I'm just going to sit back and enjoy this show for sure. I almost feel guilty that I'm going to enjoy watching this kid get his ass handed to him. After Hubs sets him straight. I go into his room. I say..."Pull down your pants". He looks at me funny probably cause I'm not a spanker. He says..."Why????". I say "I want to check if you have grown a set of brass balls". He looks at me confused obviously my smart ass remark is over his head. He is a work in progress for sure. I have confidence that this is a middle school faze. The thing is when your kid acts up it makes you feel like your failing as a parent. I love this kid with all my heart. I'm not going to let him down.
With my little rant about him I have to say all his teachers say he is amazing. I always hear what a great kid he is. He has great manors most of the time. I believe something happens to children when they get to middle school. It's almost like an evil twin tries to take over. It's my job as a parent to put the evil twin to rest. God give me strength. I am surprised it happened right out of the middle school gate with him. This didn't start with Blake till 8th. Guess Cole didn't learn from big brothers mistakes.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Today I was looking forward to getting my house-TV-Computer back for a few hours. My bubble burst when one woke up sick. I was worried since whooping cough is going around Drip. Of course he wanted to hog the TV and the computer at the same time. I told him he is not supposed to be home right now so that shit is mine.....ALL MINE! He was all like.."but I'm sick mom". I was all like..."then go to bed". We went to the Doctor in the afternoon. Thankfully it was just allergies. While we were at the Doctor waiting and waiting in the room. Aidan was acting silly. He was on the table wiggling around on that annoying paper. Anyone who has a kid knows the sound of a kid wiggling on that annoying paper. When did we become such a germ -a- phobic society?? Germs are good! We start to talk about when he was a baby. I ask if he remembers living in our old house. He says.."yep". I ask him what he remembers. He says..."I remember when there was a really bad storm and we were all in the closet under the stairs". I say..."That is your memory of our old house?". He says.."Yep". I say "how about all the good things that happened in that house??????". He then tells me how he remembers when he got really sick and threw up in his bed and how I was throwing up too. OMG, I'm raising a Debbie Downer!!!!
He looks over at me and says...."You know what else I remember?". I say "I don't know, maybe the time you fell in the driveway and got an egg size bump on your head". "Maybe the time you fell down the stairs?". "Maybe the time Grumps lost you when he fell asleep on the sofa". "Maybe the time you fell in the neighbors pool and sunk to the bottom". He starts to laugh and then says..."Did those things really happen?". I say "Yes, you don't remember that Debbie?". He laughs and says..."Grandma is Debbie". So he tells me that he remembers cheeseburgers coming down the pipe line at him and he would grab them and eat them. I'm confused as to what he is talking about. I say.."What pipe line and why were cheeseburgers coming down it to you?". Kinda of sounds like a perfect world to me. He points to his mouth and takes his finger and trails down to his belly. I say.."I'm still confused". He says..."Ya know when you were pregnant with me and you would eat cheeseburgers I would grab them and eat them". I'm so thankful the Doctor is not in here right now!!!!!! I say.."Your so full of it". He says.."No, really". I say "Please". I tell him he is not only a Debbie but he is delusional Debbie. Then he tells me he remembers floating around in there. I go with the flow and say..."Were you bored?". He says.."No, I slept a lot, ate cheeseburgers, and drank beer". OMG, thank God the doctor is still not in here. I say.."Why were you drinking beer?". He says.."cause you were". I say "I never drank beer while I was pregnant". He says..."Why did you used to call me baby bud light then?". Holy shit, he remembers almost nothing about his childhood but he remembers being called that????? I tell him again "I never drank beer once I knew I was pregnant". Remember he was a surprise....A baby bud light surprise. Which I did call him for years until my other two started calling him that. Oh how their teachers much love me. I will never forget when I went out for dinner with Hubs and our friends. I had drank barely any beer but felt drunk as shit. I'm an Irish Catholic girl...I can drink beer like a dude. I even fell out of my friend Tom's big red truck. I was accidentally pregnant and didn't know it. My friend Janice was kind of making fun of me that night for being so drunk so fast. None of us were laughing when I found out I was pregnant and I had been drinking while pregnant.
That is a time in my life when I realized just how annoying the drunk people were. Same people were over one night. Drinking, while I laid on the couch watching shit TV. They were at my kitchen table. My girlfriend could do this crazy monkey face that was funny as shit when we were drinking. So the guys were trying to talk her into doing the monkey face. She didn't want to do it. They kept saying over and over and over and over. "Do the monkey face, Do the monkey face, Do the monkey face". I was screaming in my head...Do the "F"ing monkey face and shut them up". Otherwise I'm going to get out my bitch face and y'all are not going to like it!!!! Damn hormones!!!!
Speaking of hormones these hot flashes are killing me!!!!!! I mean how embarrassing when your at the HEB check out counter and sweat starts running down your face as if you were just running a marathon. I'm trying to secretly rub it away while visions of naked snow angels are in my head. I mean really...I'm only 42 years old!!!!!! This is some Karma bullshit or something. I have said this on here before, it pisses me off. I'm supposed to be in that prime time in my life, the time where you crazy love sex and can't get enough. I can't get enough of sticking my head in my freezer a lot! I think I skipped right over prime time and ended up in an "I'm hot as shit world". Not the good hot as shit world either. Sex to me is like hurry up your making me hot in the not so hot way. The damn belly fat you get in mental pause is for the birds too. I think I'm at the point where I might get those creams that all the much older people than me talk about!!! Anywho, my grammar probably sucked, spelling, run-ons and what not. I blame mental pause or possibly Catholic school. It is what it is and I'm hot..bout to put my head in my freezer for the 10th time today! Then I will go to sleep but really can't sleep cause of mental pause!!!!!! Did I say this sucks?????
Sunday, December 9, 2012
I left that part of my life kicking and screaming for a reason. I just knew I had stumbled on something rare. In a perfect world I could take all those perfect people with me. We not only left them but we left Hubs family behind. You don't truly understand how important all these people are until their not right there. I already said it but I will say it again...I miss that time in my life. Thank you to all the Shoal Creek peeps for my favorite memories.
There were the Huffs.....Who made me laugh out loud so many times. Their kids were older so I took many good pointers from them. They raised some pretty perfect kids....I may cuss them from time to time in my head....It's just that green monster...There were the Ken and Gina who had an almost sick like perfect marriage....Yes we all might of been green. Plus they raised an amazing kid. There was Christy and Aldo....They had the most beautiful girls who just get more pretty. We had so many great times with them. We talk about them and think of them often. There was Todd and Christina...they moved across the street later but fit right in right away. They have been here many times. There was Kevin and Lisa, Kevin passed away right before they were to marry. We think about him all the time. We have some amazing memories of our times with him. There was Cary and Ryan....Who were so young! They lived next door for a while. They moved away and had a beautiful daughter. There was Jon and Lisa...who had a son that rocked Ty die for a very long time. They are great people! Aidan loved Jon and would just walk in their house to "Play" with Jon! I think he thought Jon was a kid. Then there was Cindy and Steve. They are probably some of the greatest people I have ever met. They had one daughter Rachel who turned out to be a beautiful young lady. Steve was the ring leader for any party in the hood. Cindy became one of my best friends and still is. They are just good people to the core. There are others but these are the ones on my mind for sure. When I wrote this my eyes got teary just a few times. I'm lucky that I still talk to every one of these people. Our lives have all changed through the years but we all made that bond you can't break. These people to me were some of the greatest people in the world. The people I'm proud to call my lifetime friends! Miss you Shoal Creek! I wish we could go back and have one of those driveway nights!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Hub's put a tracker on his phone so we were able to track it down. We went to pick it up and the cover was cracked. I asked him if he did that. He responds with a..."Yeah, but your lucky". I think this should be good. I ask.."how it happened and why would I be lucky?". He tells me he was playing ball and it was in his hand. He then says when he caught the ball it fell. I ask again..."Why would I be lucky because of this?". He says because if it fell the other way it would have cracked the phone. So I say...."Your telling me that you cracked your case and because you didn't crack the phone I'M LUCKY??????". He says..."Yep". I tell him he may want to re think that statement. I tell him first of all....why the H E double hockey sticks would you catch a ball with a phone in your hands?????? Second....Why would you possibly say I was lucky your phone didn't crack????? You are damn lucky your phone didn't break. Third.....Your frickin lucky you have a phone with your new found middle school bad attitude. Last if you don't change your new found tude the phone is mine!!!!!!!!! Yea my head was spinning at this point and green shit was flying out of mouth. SILENCE, CRICKETS!!!!! That is what I thought!!!!! Then he started to cry as if I was the one who was out of line!!!!!!! Lets just say He's not my favorite kid this week.
So tonight Cole is picking out clothes for an after school dance. We kind of end up having a similar conversation as Hub's and I. I won't bore you with the details of that one. Since we are in a rental we have crap in every closet. I tell him to check the closet in the room with the boxes for a shirt. I end up checking the closet.....surprise, surprise! While finding his nice polo, I also find Hub's gross jacket. Now Hubs is over at our old neighbors house having a beer. I have Blake take this picture of me on my camera phone. I send it to Hubs with a ransom note!!!! I may just be an evil genus....It sounds nicer than evil bitch anyway! His response......."Your such a shit bird Kerry". WTF...is a shit bird?????
Sunday, December 2, 2012
I get in and tell Hubs who I ran into. I say.."you did not tell me she was divorcing". He says..."I'm not a chick, my life doesn't revolve around gossip". I get that but I'm surprised he never said anything. This sparks a very inappropriate conversation between us. I say.."do you ever notice how great divorced women look?". He says.."Not really". I say..."They look all refreshed, happy, and younger". He says.."they are probably doing all that shit you want, the botox and fillers crap. I say.."Lots of people are doing that....I tell him he needs to put me in the shop because I'm going to be the only women here that does not have a surprised look on my face". I will have that mad mommy face if he doesn't see the light soon. I say...."I don't know after today every other weekend and naked bed angels sound pretty good to me". He looks at me and says...."What are you trying to say because we are about to build our last house together?". I say..."well I did birth three kids of yours and I was let go of a very good job since you became a regional manager". No going away party after over ten years...not bitter...just saying! I tell him he would not only owe me child support but we're in Texas yeah for alimony. He looks at me and says.." ya know I have had my best year ever here and have you even said a thing about it?". I say.." your a rock star really". He then says..."if you think naked bed angels are your thing then you need to tell me before we build this house". I say..."nope I'm too lazy to get a real job and the grass may be greener on the other side for a while but it all ends up brown in the end". He looks at me and says..."your a true romantic baby". We do laugh in the end.
I do have to say I feel us women get the shaft as far as being labeled high maintenance. I think our guys are high maintenance. A way to a man's heart is through cuddling, compliments, and sex! If you do those things they will never look elsewhere. And they call us high maintenance...all I want is a great pair of boots!
So I called Mom...Deb Downer today. She was on a Christmas house walk and told me it was funny I called because she was thinking about me. I tell her about what happened. She is belly laughing. Then she is like did you call the health department. I say.."No". She is like you need to call the health department and report that restaurant. Waaaa, waaaa, waaaaa!
When I wrote that story last night I forgot to include a funny part of the story. I raced home to beat everyone. When I got there the dog met me at the door. I walked carefully to the bathroom. He followed me sniffing me like crazy. I couldn't get him away from me. I wonder what he was thinking. Maybe something like...."what's this???? My mom normally smells good, what happened to her". I didn't even know how to start to clean this up. I got into the shower in my clothes. Stripped down in the shower while the dog sat outside the shower watching with this weird face. I ended up throwing my clothes away.
I have to tell you about the funny text going back and forth between my twisted sister and me during this situation. Every stop light I was at I text Kelly to get my mind off of this.
My text....I crapped in my pants
Kelz...No way! Where are you???
My text...In my car
Kelz...On your way where??
My Text..I was at the outlets. So I have an hour drive home.
My text...I know!
My text...Shut up!
My text..YES, lots!
Kelz...What are you going to do with it????
My text...Drive home...what can I do???
Kelz.....How many times is that for you now???
My text...shut up...I smell really bad!
Kelz....You need to blog about it!
My other friend I called keeps texting me. All her text say is hello, POO, POO! My text back to her say...ASSHOLE!
Life is short...I was reminded of that tonight. I was at a dinner with friends. I found out that a wonderful lady I know lost her husband in a tragic accident. It took me by surprise because I had not heard about it before tonight. My heart really breaks for her and her family. I can't get her out of my mind. If your reading this please say a prayer for her and her family. They have three daughters and the story is awful and heartbreaking. It just puts stuff back into perspective for sure. We can't take life for granted. A single moment can change everything for sure. I think we forget that sometimes when we sweat the little stuff. There are so many people out there going through awful things. My thoughts and prayers are with her tonight.
On a final note....I'm sorry if I have offended anyone with my shitty story. Hub's makes me re think it. I think if I can't laugh about it I might have cried about it! I think it's better to laugh...Maybe a little TMI though. I do have a better shitty story from years ago but I don't want to send Hubs over the edge. It is kind of ironic that the night before this happened my last statement on this blog was....I either need to shit or get off the pot! I hear you universe loud and clear! I shit now I need to get off the pot! I just wish the universe was hearing my unlimited money for me thing. Hello Universe I will say it again...I want perfect kids and unlimited funds.