Monday, December 10, 2012

Who decorates in their underwear and then Tweets it?

Who decorates in their underwear and then tweets a picture of it????????  Not to mention the ass cheek hanging out. The little girl with the birds eye view is priceless. Well that would be Hub's in those adorable little red undies. Not my Hub's thank God. That would be Mario Lopez....I know your shocked right??  Guy goes on Ellen all the time and ends up with his shirt off for some reason. You might be a narcissist if you.......want to take your shirt off on command and decorate in your undies.  I don't know about you but we always decorate for Christmas in our red panties. Red panties and Santa hats. Maybe I'll post some pictures of us like that on here. I just wish I had seen this picture before I did my Christmas cards. I would have done a card with us decorating in our undies and hats. It would say "Tis the "F"ing season bitches". It would be the kind of card that people would open and say...."WTF". I would spend my days laughing thinking about people's reactions when they opened it. I think next year I may just do a "WTF" card. Have you puked in your mouth yet??

Today I was looking forward to getting my house-TV-Computer back for a few hours.  My bubble burst when one woke up sick. I was worried since whooping cough is going around Drip. Of course he wanted to hog the TV and the computer at the same time. I told him he is not supposed to be home right now so that shit is mine.....ALL MINE! He was all like.."but I'm sick mom". I was all like..."then go to bed". We went to the Doctor in the afternoon. Thankfully it was just allergies. While we were at the Doctor waiting and waiting in the room. Aidan was acting silly. He was on the table wiggling around on that annoying paper. Anyone who has a kid knows the sound of a kid wiggling on that annoying paper. When did we become such a germ -a- phobic society?? Germs are good! We start to talk about when he was a baby. I ask if he remembers living in our old house. He says.."yep". I ask him what he remembers. He says..."I remember when there was a really bad storm and we were all in the closet under the stairs". I say..."That is your memory of our old house?". He says.."Yep". I say "how about all the good things that happened in that house??????". He then tells me how he remembers when he got really sick and threw up in his bed and how I was throwing up too. OMG, I'm raising a Debbie Downer!!!!

He looks over at me and says...."You know what else I remember?". I say "I don't know, maybe the time you fell in the driveway and got an egg size bump on your head". "Maybe the time you fell down the stairs?". "Maybe the time Grumps lost you when he fell asleep on the sofa". "Maybe the time you fell in the neighbors pool and sunk to the bottom". He starts to laugh and then says..."Did those things really happen?". I say "Yes, you don't remember that Debbie?". He laughs and says..."Grandma is Debbie". So he tells me that he remembers cheeseburgers coming down the pipe line at him and he would grab them and eat them. I'm confused as to what he is talking about. I say.."What pipe line and why were cheeseburgers coming down it to you?". Kinda of sounds like a perfect world to me. He points to his mouth and takes his finger and trails down to his belly. I say.."I'm still confused". He says..."Ya know when you were pregnant with me and you would eat cheeseburgers I would grab them and eat them". I'm  so thankful the Doctor is not in here right now!!!!!! I say.."Your so full of it". He says.."No, really". I say "Please". I tell him he is not only a Debbie but he is delusional Debbie. Then he tells me he remembers floating around in there. I go with the flow and say..."Were you bored?". He says.."No, I slept a lot, ate cheeseburgers, and drank beer". OMG, thank God the doctor is still not in here. I say.."Why were you drinking beer?". He says.."cause you were". I say "I never drank beer while I was pregnant". He says..."Why did you used to call me baby bud light then?". Holy shit, he remembers almost nothing about his childhood but he remembers being called that????? I tell him again "I never drank beer once I knew I was pregnant". Remember he was a surprise....A baby bud light surprise. Which I did call him for years until my other two started calling him that. Oh how their teachers much love me. I will never forget when I went out for dinner with Hubs and our friends. I had drank barely any beer but felt drunk as shit. I'm an Irish Catholic girl...I can drink beer like a dude. I even fell out of my friend Tom's big red truck. I was accidentally pregnant and didn't know it. My friend Janice was kind of making fun of me that night for being so drunk so fast. None of us were laughing when I found out I was pregnant and I had been drinking while pregnant.

That is a time in my life when I realized just how annoying the drunk people were. Same people were over one night. Drinking, while I laid on the couch watching shit TV. They were at my kitchen table. My girlfriend could do this crazy monkey face that was funny as shit when we were drinking. So the guys were trying to talk her into doing the monkey face. She didn't want to do it. They kept saying over and over and over and over. "Do the monkey face, Do the monkey face, Do the monkey face". I was screaming in my head...Do the "F"ing monkey face and shut them up". Otherwise I'm going to get out my bitch face and y'all are not going to like it!!!! Damn hormones!!!!

Speaking of hormones these hot flashes are killing me!!!!!! I mean how embarrassing when your at the HEB check out counter and sweat starts running down your face as if you were just running a marathon. I'm trying to secretly rub it away while visions of naked snow angels are in my head. I mean really...I'm only 42 years old!!!!!! This is some Karma bullshit or something. I have said this on here before, it pisses me off. I'm supposed to be in that prime time in my life, the time where you crazy love sex and can't get enough. I can't get enough of sticking my head in my freezer a lot! I think I skipped right over prime time and ended up in an "I'm hot as shit world". Not the good hot as shit world either. Sex to me is like hurry up your making me hot in the not so hot way. The damn belly fat you get in mental pause is for the birds too. I think I'm at the point where I might get those creams that all the much older people than me talk about!!! Anywho, my grammar probably sucked, spelling, run-ons and what not. I blame mental pause or possibly Catholic school. It is what it is and I'm hot..bout to put my head in my freezer for the 10th time today! Then I will go to sleep but really can't sleep cause of mental pause!!!!!! Did I say this sucks?????

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