Tis the "F"ing season..

 So I'm having one of those days!!!! The kind where you think in your head the whole day...tis the "F"ing season! I think we have all forgot the meaning of Christmas in my house. Including me. Aidan spent his morning on line shopping for shit he would have no idea existed. Yeah for "Google"...Tis the season. Kids can find anything and everything on line. Cole came home from a sleepover and wanted to have all the kids at our house all day....tis the season. Before I even answer him about his friends coming over. He says...."Now Mom don't embarrass me by saying No, I need my friends to know they are welcome in the rental". Are you kidding me kid?????? His friends have been over here a bunch already!!!!!! How soon they forget! And of course they all came over.

So when we moved to the rental we also got a storage unit. I told Hub's to put all the Xmas stuff at the front so we could have easy access. Did he listen??? Hell No!  And they wonder why we tell them they don't listen all the time....they don't!!!! While outside trying to put up the Xmas decorations we could get to. My neighbor walks over. He says..."I have a gift for you". I say.." A cold beer?". When he doesn't crack a smile I think damn my kids have pissed him off already. He hands me a baseball. The first thing that goes through my head is my kids broke a window. I take the ball and say "thanks for returning this". He then says.."That ball scared the crap out of my wife when it hit our house". I say.."OMG, I'm so sorry". He tells me she is still frazzled. I tell him I will tell the kids to be more careful. He says..They are not used to having kids next door and are not trying to be crabby about it. I tell him I understand and I feel awful since balls over the fence caused an all out war in my last neighborhood. He then goes into the things that could have happened with that ball. He tells me it could have broke a window and then it would be uncomfortable for us to live by each other. He tells me it could have hit his cat who hangs in the backyard frequently. (Probably to get away from him) He tells me it could have broke his fence which might cause his cat to get out and get eaten by a coyote. Seriously???? I say.."I'm so sorry, I assure you if they ever broke a window we would pay for it". As all this is going on Aidan walks by. I call him over. I tell him to tell the nice man that he is sorry about the ball hitting his house. I ask the man to tell Aidan his concerns about the balls. He says again to me that he is not trying to be the grumpy kid hating neighbor. He then says again how frazzled his wife is. I tell him no worries the kids annoy the shit out of me too and Xanex helps. No crack of a smile or a laugh. Batting a thousand here. So I say goodbye and ask if him if his wife enjoyed that lasagna I sent over last week. He says.."oh yes, it was great, Thank you".  I say.."good",  thinking in my head it's the last one.  Tis the season...the season of giving, love, and pure joy.

 So I go back to work on my decorating. I'm singing "Your happy and ya know it clap your hands". We are all going in and out of the house with the decorations. Ziggy the perfect dog gets out right as some family is walking by with there dog. Now Ziggy crazy loves other dogs so he B lines for them. The guy most dramatically picks up his rather large dog and says..."Can you get your dog?". I run over to get Ziggy telling him he loves dogs and is very friendly. The guy says.."Do you not have a leash for him?". I explain that I'm not out walking him he just escaped. I'm kicking ass, taking names, and making no friends here yet. Tis the season! I guess all those great cookies and home baked goods I have been patiently waiting for to welcome me to the hood are not coming after all! Now I'm singing that Kenny Chesney song in my head."Whatever makes you feel like a rock star".

Before we piss off any more neighbors I think we need to get out of here and get Xmas card photos. So we head to downtown Drip. My kids act like complete jerks during the whole shoot. How I managed to get a few good shots is beyond me....Tis the season. BTW, Xmas cards are super expensive and a pain in the ass to make.

This last picture is taken in our new neighborhood. They have a great covered bridge there. They look cute right??? Don't let them fool you they acted like complete assholes through this whole thing! We will be living there in nine long months if we survive building my/our dream home. I hope the people there love kids, drink, and pop Xanex like candy. I hope I get cookies and fresh baked good to welcome me too. Not bitter..just saying!

After our photo shoot we stop for gas. There is a taco bell connected to the gas station. My kids do think every time we get in the car we need to stop for fast food. As much as I try to break them of this I'm tired and lazy tonight. I go in taco bell to get food while Hubs fills the car up. I run into an old neighbor. She looks fricken fantastic. She is telling me about another neighbor who just filled for divorce. We talk about another neighbor who is doing great after her divorce. I say..marriage is so hard. So hard to live with anyone. She then tells me her divorce was just final. I say..I had no idea. She tells me she told Hubs months ago. I'm not surprised he didn't tell me. He never tells me anything except when he wants some. We say our goodbyes and I go to the car. I'm thinking jeez lots of divorces...I was just informed of another last night while having dinner.

I get in and tell Hubs who I ran into. I say.."you did not tell me she was divorcing". He says..."I'm not a chick, my life doesn't revolve around gossip". I get that but I'm surprised he never said anything. This sparks a very inappropriate conversation between us. I say.."do you ever notice how great divorced women look?". He says.."Not really". I say..."They look all refreshed, happy, and younger". He says.."they are probably doing all that shit you want, the botox and fillers crap. I say.."Lots of people are doing that....I tell him he needs to put me in the shop because I'm going to be the only women here that does not have a surprised look on my face". I will have that mad mommy face if he doesn't see the light soon. I say...."I don't know after today every other weekend and naked bed angels sound pretty good to me". He looks at me and says...."What are you trying to say because we are about to build our last house together?". I say..."well I did birth three kids of yours and I was let go of a very good job since you became a regional manager". No going away party after over ten years...not bitter...just saying! I tell him he would not only owe me child support but we're in Texas yeah for alimony. He looks at me and says.." ya know I have had my best year ever here and have you even said a thing about it?". I say.." your a rock star really". He then says..."if you think naked bed angels are your thing then you need to tell me before we build this house". I say..."nope I'm too lazy to get a real job and the grass may be greener on the other side for a while but it all ends up brown in the end". He looks at me and says..."your a true romantic baby". We do laugh in the end.

I do have to say I feel us women get the shaft as far as being labeled high maintenance. I think our guys are high maintenance. A way to a man's heart is through cuddling, compliments, and sex! If you do those things they will never look elsewhere. And they call us high maintenance...all I want is a great pair of boots!