Thursday, May 1, 2014

So you have a teenager…but you still are one, in your warped mind!

Been a while I know……working part time!  Turned into almost full time…..Don't really know how. That's a whole other story.  Let me just say……Um it's been a very long time since I worked this much at a job. If my boss reads this…a raise would be nice. So I have a teenager…..well to tell the the truth two. In my warped brain I'm still one. I blame Disney. Damn it if Peter Pan wasn't on to something. I don't want to grow up…..but my kids are UMMMMM bigger than me?????? When did that happen???? Oh yes, it's as if every old person telling me that….."It goes lighting fast" is on re play in my brain. That's annoying! Who would have thought those old asses knew what they were talking about! So I sit here with my old ass…wondering where the years went. UMMMM Really!!!!!! I think back to that perfect child…The one I thought was perfect…how did I do that???? Make such a perfect child???  Well they are all perfect at birth!…just saying…like some old ass! Oh yes, I'm that old ass telling all the young moms to enjoy those chaotic years now! We know what we are talking about.

All my kids were perfect…….when they were born. But then each and everyone of them came with "WTF" moments! I have three….all boys, OMG, so wanted all girls! Wouldn't change a thing…except maybe one more…..A girl! All very different. They even look different as if there was a mailman involved. There wasn't…LOL.  So now I find myself with a teenage boy…..oh yes two……but one is a little behind the times thank God for small favors. But while raising them I've been shocked. Shocked I think at normal teenage behavior. Why did I think I raised a perfect child that would never do typical teenage things???? Ummmmm, because when you have your own kids you realize that your too young to do that stuff. If I could go back all my first would be in better situations. If you would have told me this voice of reason stuff at sixteen and I would laugh thinking it was dumb. Not so dumb when you have your own teenagers. Because most adults are dumb to teenagers….ya know we know nothing! Because we weren't teenagers EVER in their mind, we are just old people to them……Don't you remember thinking that?????? We should age in reverse! Life would be so much better!

You kinda of want to say "NO" to everything! Shelter them…..hide them….helicopter mom them….Maybe just plain lock them up!!!! But you can't…well you could but they need to grow up unfortunately. They need to make mistakes, learn from them, to become the person they are supposed to be! Ya think I watched a lot of Opah while I stayed home??? You don't want to be the "cool" mom allowing drinking and sex. But you also want them to know even if it makes your toenails curl. If they do those things you would like to educate them on these matters. Biggest things I tell my kids….probably too much! Don't ever drink and drive. Don't get in car with someone drinking either. You are not invincible and shit does happen. If you find yourself in a situation….call me…I'd like to say no questions asked! But I'm a mom…of course I will question! I will want to know what happened but I will be the first to rescue you. I will think you are brave for telling me the truth and asking for my help. SEX…….Damn no teenager should have sex…..but some do! Well a lot..lets be real.  I tell my boys all the time…there is so much time to have sex in your later years!!!!!! I mean really, almost too much! Enjoy your youth with out the drama of sex. But lets be real they are boys. We all know how boys are. So I tell them…don't have sex just to have it. Be kind to girls!  Don't really have it unless your married! Of course they ask….."Did you have sex before marriage?" Well shit! I want to lie. But I don't…wondering the whole time if I should!  Only have sex if you are truly in love. Sex is a big deal. Plus… are way too young! I tell them if they have sex just to have it that girl could be ruined for life. Girls are different than boys……We are way more emotional. At least most of us! Of course during  the "Sex" talk they ask if Dad is the only one! OMG…I soooooo want to lie! Geez….such a horrible conversation……you don't think about this hard stuff when they pop out perfect! Condoms are a big topic in my house! Mama, still thinks she's a teen…no need to make her go by Granny!

I tell them girls will take being used or being hurt into their UMMMMM adulthood! Seriously! Ya think I got burned in my lifetime???? I really just want to raise good boys! Sensitive to how girls feel. Dealing with all this teenage stuff makes me a little happy I don't have girls. But then there's my niece…I might trade all three for her! I mean she is the best! Love when my Mom and Dad say she's a little Kerry! Suck it Kelly! Anywho…I have to brag a bit now. My oldest amazes me everyday. He's by no means perfect. Made lots of mistakes already. But he is kind of perfect in my eyes. He went to regionals for pole vaulting. To say I'm proud is an understatement. He didn't go on to state…but damn regionals is a huge deal at his age! To him it's all about a regional patch for his Letterman's. jacket. Plus, I think he enjoyed the hell out of staying in a hotel! Meeting all the girls from other schools he loved! But I couldn't be more proud! Yep I said that! His coach was amazing. Plus she was easy on his eyes too! Shout out to Ashley.  Whatever it takes to make this kid realize he's great at something. I just want him to be passionate about something….I think he found it this season!

So a word from my older wiser ass……Help your kids find something to do they love! No matter what it is. We may not choose it for them….but they are not us. That is hard. It's taken me along time to realize this. But they will strive at something they love. And…..Ummmmm kid tied the like 1980's something year record in Drip for vaulting…..who would have thought! Like I said this kid amazes me even if he's not a perfect child! I'm just like any other mom trying to raise my kids my kids to be successful, happy, healthy adults! So I'm not a writer…so forgive my mistakes….it is what is is!