It's a sad day for our nation today.

I was raised to believe in God. I do believe in God. I was also raised to believe God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. I have been confused by that last belief many times in my life. The older I get and the more I see the more that confuses me. After the shootings that happened in Connecticut I am more confused than ever by that belief. How does a parent survive after something so horrific happens to their baby. How could God possibly give you something like that to handle. Why do things like this happen. All I know is tonight I want to know why God would allow something like this. I find myself questioning God. I crazy hate when I question God. I hope tonight there is a God and reason. I can't see a reason for this right now. I have some faith that there is a reason that we do not understand yet. How could a human being be not only cruel enough to harm his Mother but also harm so many children. I really would have never even thought the devil could be that cruel. I don't believe I could survive my child being taken away in such an awful way. My heart really goes out to anyone who is involved in this.

I get that the media needs to report on this. I do not believe that they should show all the pictures of the horrified parents and children. I think they should have a little privacy during this time. Sometimes I think the media exploits people like this. As I was watching the news coverage I couldn't help but think, I sure wouldn't want anyone filming me or taking pictures if I had been through this.

I can't even imagine what a scene like this would look like to the police officers that were called in. My stomach feels sick when I think about the kids, teachers, parents, and police officers. Makes me mad that people go through and see things like this. These parents probably have gifts under the tree for these kids and plans for Christmas. Not to mention all the hopes and dreams they have for their babies futures. The most heartbreaking thing I heard on the news was when the kids were taken to the fire station. The parents were there to reunite with their kids. Can you even fathom what it would be like when the last child's name was called and you are still standing there without yours. The thing that bothered me most of all about this thing was the shooter. He couldn't have shot them all at once. So he saw the terror on the kids faces after they had seen other kids shot and still shot them. Could someone possibly have not one ounce of sensitivity? It really boggles my mind and shocks me. Bad things happen to kids everyday. They get their feeling hurt, they get sick, and sometimes they get so sick that they are going to die. Anytime something bad happens to an innocent child it is heartbreaking. As bad as all those things are those kids have their loved ones there taking care of them and making those situations as good as they can. It bothers me that these kids did not have their loved ones there, they were probably scared to death, and this horrible person didn't care at all. I feel for the ones who were the last to go. I hope God is taking good care of them tonight. Life is a gift, I am reminded of that today. I do not believe anyone involved in or close to that situation would agree with me on that now. I believe that life is hell on earth for them right now. I hope I never feel pain like that in my life. I have had my heart broken, my spirit broken, my trust broken, and my faith broken. I have never been broken to the point of no return though. So I will not be complaining about these people I live with tonight.