Put your torch out...you must now leave the island.

 So it's been a crazy week. I have been without Internet or TV for the last three days. It about killed me! No dancing with the stars...really???? I headed back to my house tonight to get the final car full of useless crap. The last few days it has been the equivalent to the clown car at the circus. Just when you think there is no way they have another clown in the car out pops ten more. The difference is just when I thought everything was out,  there was ten more carloads full. Full of crap that I don't know why I'm keeping. Disney movies on VHS...should have tossed those. I spent good money on those five hundred years ago though. My kids baby clothes and toys...should have tossed them too. I will have grand kids some day I hope in a far, far, away land. They will love this stuff....NOT! I have a hard time parting with stuff for some reason. I blame my Mom...aka...Debbie Downer who happens to be mourning my house more than me. This has made me second guess everything! She puts crap in my head I would have never thought about if it wasn't for her. She keeps pointing out all the great things about this house that I no longer own at 11am sharp tomorrow.

I do remember not wanting to move to Austin in 2007. I crazy loved my house and my neighbors in Frisco. I never thought I could be as happy as I was there. Hubs moved to Austin four months before we did. I came out a few weekends to home search. I found this house on line. It was a little more than we wanted to spend. When I walked into the kitchen I yelled this is it...I can totally live here. I loved this house more than any house we had ever been in. It was just beautiful. It was my dream house for sure. The rooms were great, space was never a problem. The kitchen, the family room, and the view was to die for. We had a ton of guest here....and so many great memories here.  This was the 3rd house we owned since we married. With each house came an upgrade in size and price. This size was great but really did suck ass to clean.....just trying to make myself feel better!!

 So I wanted some time by myself in the this house before I had to go. I loaded up my car with a cooler of two beers. I wanted to load the last of it and have two beers and morn it. By myself because no one seems to be morning this house except the dog, my mom, and me. I took pictures of it. The maids came today and it looks awesome. You would never know I was raising three boys here. The house reminds me. It's been ridden hard and put away wet but cleans up alright. I took a picture of this stone wall in the entry way. I always loved this stone wall. I had it put in after we bought it. Every time I walked in this house I appreciated this stone wall. Hubs is happy because we sold it and got out with our down payment. What we did not get out with was all the extra money we dumped into it to make it our home. Rock walls, wood floors, landscaping, veggie garden, drapes, shutters, and so on. I feel we did not get out of it what we should have. The market dropped after we bought it so I guess I should be glad we got our down payment out of it.

 My neighbor came over tonight. He was a great neighbor. He had tears in his eyes. He told me that in all the years he had never had neighbors better than us and he was sad we were leaving. He told me how he loved our kids and hated to see us go. I hate that we are leaving him too. He would show up at our door sometimes and just want to hang out and shoot the shit. I loved that and he knew he could do that anytime of the week. He is one of the people I will crazy miss. We had a bad neighbor on the other side that happened to move two weeks ago. The new people are super nice. Go figure! When we first put our house on the market it was to see if it would sell so we could get away from crazy. We had no idea that he would ever leave since his house had been on the market three years. Who knew he would drop his price when we put ours on the market. Woe is me!

 I walked around my house remembering all the great things. Mourning everything about this house.  It feels to me like I just moved here. But time has gone lighting fast for sure. We have had great parties here. I turned 40 here.....hubs turned 40 here. We will not talk about that..those hangovers still haunt me.  We had a child turn from a child into a man here. His voice still stops me in my tracks when I call him. We have had so many great times here and a few bad...homework time rings a bell.

 I think of everything this house meant to me. We entertained family, old friends, and new ones in this house. I lost my grandma while in this house the memory of that day is one I will never forget. Since that happened on Thanksgiving. I got good news and bad news in this home. I had great times and bad times in this home. I remember the first time my teenager did a teenager thing. I called my mom in tears hoping she could help me through this. Aidan was worried about hawks taking him away in this house. Before we moved here he had never seem those giant birds that eat the road kill on the side of the road. Remember he is my over thinker.  The memories are flooding my head. I asked the kids earlier  if they will miss the house. Not so much they do not seem to be as attached as me. Aidan actually said when we got in the rental that these will be his happiest days since he is right next to hubs and I in his bedroom.

I hand painted these walls which are way more pretty in person. I rarely say never. I have learned the hard way to never say never. But I can say with confidence I will NEVER take on a paint job like this again. It was awful but because I started it I had to finish it. It makes me sad that they will be re painting the whole house! They have no idea the sweat, tears, and cuss words that went into this room!!!! When I first started the room looked like someone puked in it. I finally got it right after many re do's.

The kitchen was one of my favorite rooms. I had never had a big kitchen before. I love to cook. I hand did the walls in here with a texture and three coats of glazes. Did I say it was big????? When you texture it is like frosting a cake! It was a bitch to frost an entire kitchen, breakfast area, and hallway as if it was a cake. I always have had these great big ideas that seem great in my head. When I tackle them they never turn out the way I imagined them in my head. Lots and lots of cussing went into this kitchen.  So here I found myself in my house sitting Indian style on the floor of the very empty house. Drinking my final two beers. Crying thinking of all the great memories here. I stop to use the potty thinking this is the last time I will pee in this house..sniff, sniff. I go back out sit down drink some more and think about how beautiful this house was at Christmas time. It was a perfect Christmas house for decorating. Because neither of our families live here we never got to have a Christmas party here. I think about all the great conversations I had on my back porch with friends. We really did think we were solving the worlds problems. I think about my friend who projectile vomited on my back porch the weekend we moved in.  Whole other blog but some things are truly meant for the vault. I do have a filter even though hubs disagrees. Then I have to pee again...thinking alright this is my last pee in this house. I sit back down again. Thinking about how cute my kids were when we moved here. I miss those times. I almost wish I could rewind to enjoy them more. I didn't realize how fast they would go. I also wish I could rewind to the weight I was when I moved in here. I must have been happy here because I got fat! Ya know the saying fat and happy. I don't want to go! I have to pee again.....this time it is really the last time I will pee in this house. After that I walk through the house, the entire house. Memories flood my brain. I laugh and cry. I'm so glad I started this blog three years ago because I have documented so many memories from here. I go past Blake...Aka...the not so charming princes room. I laugh out loud thinking about how many nights I laid on the floor trying to listen to his conversations. Can't do that anymore since all he does is text now. Can't remember the last time I saw him on the phone having a real conversation.

So I think about writing the new owners a letter. I want to tell them how much I loved it here. I want to tell them a few stories about this house. Since they are in their 80's I think they will not get my dry sense of humor. Plus the house is empty I have no paper or a pen. Thank God because I was kind of going off the deep end at this point. I know I would have regretted that letter and been embarrassed by it. Reminds me of how I feel about this blog sometimes. So I put out my torch and left the island forever. Only people who watched survivor will get that! Remember I'm a shit TV junkie! I'm going to miss so many things and so many great neighbors here. Hub's keeps telling me we are about to embark on yet another chapter in our lives. I kind of liked this one though! Did I say I imagined myself scratching his eyeballs out???? It was his idea to move. I never really thought we would get what we wanted for this house.....now I'm starting to ramble so I'll stop. That song "you can't always get what you want but you try sometimes and get what you need" is running through my head about now. What I need is a happy pill for the next few months!!!!!!!

Final thoughts..
Teenagers are not at all like hearts and flowers! random thought right???
Women who trick or treat in sexy Halloween costumes look ridiculous and make me puke in my mouth!
I no longer own my house and it makes me sad. Only me like I'm the lonely loser. Feeling bad for myself right now. It will pass! My mom will read this and say you made your bed now lay in it. I'm laying in it now and it feels a little lumpy!
Again remember I'm no writer so don't be all judging me on my bad grammar! My hand works slower than my brain, and I hate proof reading this shit!!!!! night to all! Let's see if I can survive building a house with this certain person I live with!