The queen of Halloween has no where to go.

Every year since I moved here I have been known as the queen of Halloween. I always had the best decorated house in the hood. That was until last year but we will not talk about that. Those people have moved since then. I also hosted the best Halloween party in the hood every year. Since we sold our house and have to close on Halloween of all days I'm not the queen this year. I have talked about this before on here. Can you tell I'm bitter???? I had the best costume planned this year. I planned it six months ago. I was going to be Honey boo boo. I had talked to my hairdresser months ago about doing my hair for the party! I was sure to win the prize this year. That was until I had to move in October. I would have rocked some go go juice for sure! I guess the bright side is I saved myself from an awful hangover.

I attended a get together tonight. I offered the people my decorations and asked them to make it a dress up theme. No such luck! I got home and had a message on Facebook. I pulled it up and then scrolled the home page. I saw lots of pictures of people at Halloween parties....made me cuss in my head! I can't believe I did not get invited to a dress up party!!!!!! Next year when I hope I will be in my dream home I'm having the biggest Halloween party ever!!!! Everyone I know will be invited.

Tonight I'm up way too late. Insomnia is a bitch...my mind goes 90 to nothing in the wee hours of the night. I sleep great from 8-11 which is also a bitch. I should be running and working out in these hours like the rest of Austin. But I'm snoozing.....sometimes I dream about running. In my dreams I'm shocked that I can run. Maybe my I'm trying to tell myself something in these dreams...Like run bitch run! Or maybe I'm running from these people I live with.

Anyway we had two games today and moved stuff to the rental. If hubs says one more time we are in "crunch time" I may just scratch his eyeballs out. I admit I have had vivid thoughts of scratching his eyeballs out since this whole move thing started. So we went to a party tonight...not a dress up one...boo! He left before me because he is anal...I mean this in the most loving way....NOT! When I got home a hour after him he started that "crunch time" thing again. He called me in the bedroom as if I was two and told me everything that needed to be done in am. I get it...I know what needs to be done and I really don't want to hear "crunch time" for as long as I live again. Opposites attract....maybe??? Or maybe we have been together half our life now and we are just too tired to do anything else. I'm being ugly...I really do love him but moving with him happens to be a nightmare.

While at Aidan's baseball game today I got a call from his teacher. I crazy love his teacher. He had him last year too. He knows all the anxiety Aidan has had this year. He called to check up on what's going on at home. I told him how I got him in with the Dr in Austin for anxiety. He was so sweet and told me everything going on with his end of Aidan to tell the DR. He really cares and that is so big for us. Last year we really had no issues. This did come out of left field for us. I'm dealing with it better than hubs for sure, Hubs tends to get mad easier because I think guys don't get it when they can't fix it. I have had to have talks with him about how getting mad is not helping things. While my mom was here he begged her not to let me go to wedding in Chicago because he was worried about me. My mom told him everything would be fine and his Dad would be home with him. He told my mom he knew that but I was special to him. When she told me this it touched me in a way I have no words for. I ended up not being able to go since we sold our house. I really wanted to go since it was my godchild who happened to be in my wedding when he was about ten ...damn where does the time go?????  I'm hoping this guy I got him into can help. It breaks my heart that he carries so much stress everyday. My hopes for him is that he can lead a life where he doesn't worry about the "what ifs". I did love when his teacher told me he has been teaching a long time and he sees something great in Aidan. He told me he is a natural at sports, math, and thinking in general. He said he believes if we get him the help he needs to re train his brain through all this crazy anxiety he will do amazing things in life. I did not raise him to fear things because going to catholic school I was raised to fear things. I swore I would not raise my kids to fear God or fear what you can not change. So I'm surprised that I'm dealing with this. I have said this before on here I believe in prayer. Please pray for my baby to beat this awful anxiety! Anywho between dealing with a teenager, a kid who fears everything, and a hubs who loves to say crunch time....I'm dealing with lots right now. While I write this my two little ones are asleep next to me. There is this odd smell in the room I keep thinking it is me...it is them for sure....and it stinks!!!!!Woe is me! Boys are smelly and they stink about now! Sorry the bad grammar thing and all...too tired to proof read..it's crunch time here y'all!!!