I want to sleep for the next thirty days.

 Since we sold our house I have been driving around town looking for potential home sites. I came across one by accident yesterday. I was so excited because it is amazing. Across the street from it is a huge cattle ranch. I can picture myself on my giant front porch swing talking to the cattle as I drink beer. On one side of the home site is a beautiful home and barn. These people have horses. While walking the lot line a little fox and the horses followed us around. It was so cool. Plus it backs up to onion creek.....which would be amazing if we weren't in a drought. Hub's and I also looked at a preexisting home by the high school. I had alright bones but it was a flash back to the 80's all the way. It would need to be totally redone on the inside. Aidan is with us and crazy loves the house because it has some strange playroom in it. We pick up Cole at football practice. I'm telling him about the beautiful lot with all the horses. He wanted us to like the preexisting one because some of his friends live around there. So he is in the back seat complaining. He loves to talk to himself out loud because he thinks it will get to us. So he is saying things like......"Oh look at the beautiful horses, this is so much better than playing with my friends". He is talking in a pee wee Herman kind of voice to top things off. Hub's quotes his new favorite line....It goes something like..."This is not up to you where we live, you are only going to be around for a few more short years before we kick you out". As Hub's is quoting his new favorite line and Cole is repeating him word for word in the pee wee voice. Hub's threatens to pull the car over and "wear his ass out" as he likes to say. This whole process is more fun than I can stand.

 After we get home I search on line for floor plans I like. The dog bed is finally getting some good use!

 Tuesday morning I go out to look at potential rentals. Hub's has moved on from the trailer idea but he is still being cheap. He wants to save money while we build. So this little peach of a home is surrounded by houses with broken down cars, old doors, old sofa's, and junk in the yards. You know the ones. Most of us have seen houses like this in our lifetime. I don't have a warm and fuzzy feeling about this one but I go in anyway. It should have an "enter at your own risk" sign on the door. I'm looking at it by myself. I regret that when I open the door. My overactive imagination starts to think I'm in a scary movie staring me. I walk around the place thinking some flesh eating zombie is going to grab me from behind. There is a back staircase, I go up it to find a wood paneled room. There are these cubby holes with short doors along the wall. I picture midget zombies behind the doors. I shit you not I ran down those stairs like somebody was poking me with a cow brander. I let my overactive imagination get the best of me again. This really could be a great set for a horror flick. The smell in the house is one of mold. Great so we would save money while we breath in moldy shit! I really do think I would scare myself stupid in this house. I could just imagine all these people would be gone. I would be in the house and a crazy zombie, (maybe the last tenants turned into zombies from breathing moldy shit) would come for me. I would run out of the house going house to house trying to find help. I would be tripping over garbage in people's yards and the zombie would get me. Then all the other zombies would start appearing out of the broken down cars. The only positive thing is the house has no carpet. If one of us killed the other one while living here we could just hose off the blood. We could bury the body in someones junk and blame it one the zombies. Wooooo, I'm on a roll. I'll stop there. I get in the car and call Hub's. As I'm talking to him he can tell I'm not a fan of the place. He says he has one for us to look at when he gets home. This should be good! I can't contain my excitement.

 So Hub's gets home and we head out to another fine gem of a house he found on Craig's list. It doesn't look that bad from the picture. I have learned that pictures can be very deceiving when looking at potential houses and rentals. We get out of the car, the kids are with us. All of the sudden it sounds like there is a pack of angry hungry wolves on the other side of the fence. I know it is dogs but damn they sounded like wolves. Cole says a funny....he says..."it sounds like the beast from the sand lot lives next-door". I think I'll just let Hub's look around this lovely place. After being married so long I have learned if I give him a little rope he will usually hang himself with it. That way I'm not the bad guy. That way when we end up in a good rental he will think it was his idea. I'm smart like that. So he looks around not saying much. He is stepping over broken glass and cigs. There are a few empty beer bottles in the yard too. No window treatments on any of the windows and it is really not that cheap anyway. The house is really dirty and really run down. We get in the car and Hub's is kind of quiet. He finally looks over at me and says-..."What do you think?". I say "I think I'll be cooking dinner one night and I will hear screams coming from the yard". I tell him I will look out my window with no treatments and see my children in pieces from the wild dogs. I know I get a little dramatic at times....but for Gods sake can't we just spend the extra money and feel safe!!!!

After house hunting we stop for some fried catfish. We come home with the fat belly feeling. Regretting our food decision. The kids have homework. I'm looking on line hoping my dream home has come on the market and we can skip all this. I go around the corner to see Cole doing homework in my be-dazzled flip flops. I do laugh out loud and I needed to at this point. The laughing isn't for long. Cole can't focus on his homework. I start a tally of how many times I had to re direct him. It's like 17 in forty minutes. I hear mom...aka..Deb downer in my head saying you will miss these days!!!! I say "shut up Deb, I will never miss homework time....stop trying to guilt me"!!!!!! Deb often talks to me in my head....you think I need a shrink??? Aidan is doing homework on the other side of me. He is in his typical pigpen state. He has white shorts on that are dirty and a shirt that he stretched out the collar on. He is asking me to do his homework, I mean asking for help. I tell him he is smart and I know he can do this himself. I tell him I expect more from him. I feel like this single black mom I saw on a lifetime movie. Cuba Gooding Jr was in it. He ended up becoming a famous Dr because his mom put up with no horse shit excuse from him. He whines and complains about not getting it. I tell him he will have to take a zero and tell the teacher he is not learning what he's teaching. Low and behold kid did his homework by himself. It pisses me off that all my kids worry more about what their teachers think about them than what I do. I guess I have to look at the bright side. They behave well in school.

The kids are finally in bed. Hub's says...."can we talk". I say "sure" he is going to show me a nice house in a nice neighborhood that is for lease! Mission accomplished! We won't save any money but we won't be eaten by zombies or wild dogs! I really wish I could just go to sleep for the next thirty days! I better not say that out loud you never know if the Universe is listening...my luck I'd end up in a coma for thirty days!