Did you ever feeling like yelling "FUCK" at the top of your lungs????

Did you ever feel like yelling "FUCK" at the top of your lungs?????? Well I have! I'm not ashamed to say I did it. What I'm ashamed about is after I did it I turned around to find Aidan...aka...pig pen standing behind me. He had a mortified look on his face. He then asked if he could go to his friends house. I said "NO". He was holding his new phone in his hand. I then realized that his friend was on the line. He too probably heard my meltdown. When Aidan got back on the phone with his friend he had hung up. Probably because I scared the bejesus out of him. Aidan laid on the sofa and cried. I walked over to talk to him. He was embarrassed by my outburst fearing his friend heard it. In my defense I thought all the kids were gone. I thought I was by myself. Aidan had slipped back in from the neighbors without me knowing. I was more mortified than he was for sure. I will be even more mortified when I tell the kids mom what happened. I explained to him that it was a bad decision for me to yell that. I offered him a quarter from a swear jar. I say how about a ten and we forget the whole thing ever happened. He was having no part of it. This is definitely one of those white trash mommy moments for me.

What prompted this sudden out burst were so many things....Let me make a list...a shit list!!!

1....I haven't slept good in weeks.
2....I'm packing which sucks.
3....My fat jeans are tight
4....Hub's is driving me nuts with this move.
5....My niece and sister left.
6....I can't believe all the fees you have to pay to transfer utilities....it's bullshit!
7...My DVR is not working right.
8....My baby is stressed out on a daily basis....bet this didn't help.
9....I can't set up 17 years worth of Halloween decorations.
10....My son wrote "I love boobies" with permanent maker on his stomach for breast cancer month.

Later in the night Aidan asked me again about my outburst. I tell him that sometimes even adults make bad decisions. I tell him not to follow my bad lead on this occasion. I tell him when he is in his 40's moving with three kids not being able to fit in his fat jeans he can have an outburst like this. I tell him at that time in his life he will have earned the right to have this type of outburst....alone of course.  When Hub's gets home he tells him about this. He tells hubs I told him I earned the right to do this because I have three kids. Hub's looks at me shakes his head and says..."Really, Kerry?". Not my finest moment.

I did go to lunch with a friend today but then came home and packed. Aidan had a baseball game tonight too. After we got home. The kids showered and did their homework. No one got in bed till 10:30!!!! I sit down to watch some shit TV. Hubs sits down and says...."do you realize how much more packing we have to do?". I think in my head "You mean how much more I have to do". I say.."Yes, I know what else needs to be packed". He then starts to go through a list of all the stuff that is not packed. I have the urge to yell "FUCK" at the top of my lungs again. I have learned from my mistake though. I calmly tell him I do not need him to go through everything that is not packed, I'm fully aware of all of it. He says..."We only have a few more days". Yep, I'm aware of that too!!!! He asks if there is anything else I want to get rid of. I say "I better not answer that now cause your not going to like my answer". He rolls his eyes and says he is going to bed.  I hate when he does this. It makes me not want to do anything...you think he would have learned that after 17 years of being married to me. Moving makes me bitchy....can you tell???