Remember we are in the middle of a move this week of Halloween! So we are kind of flying by the seat of our pants here in LaLa land. I drove around all night on Tuesday trying to find a morph costume for Aidan...aka..pig pen. We were having no success. We ran into Target on our last stop. Still no morph costumes. I did find some long underwear which is pretty much what a morph costume is. I talk Aidan...aka..pig pen into it telling him we are out off options here. He goes for my BS and we leave with some long underwear. Because kids dress up their morph costumes he gets a red cowboy hat and some hello kitty undies. He wants to make his friends laugh with his creation. At this point I kind of wish I had come up with this morph costume that is sold out everywhere. Damn thing probably cost 5 bucks to make and they sell them for 30! I'm creative I don't get why I can never come up with this kind of shit. Hello Universe are you hearing me???? Please let me come up with some ridiculous idea that makes me millions.
So after school on Halloween Aidan...aka..pig pen is really excited. He wants to be the kid who makes his friends laugh. Since the "real" morph costumes hide the kids faces he needs something to hide his face. He butchers one of our ski hats trying to cut holes in it. He is about in tears. I find a pink scarf I have had since 1999. I wrap it around his face telling him it will match the hello kitty underwear he is wearing. He takes the bait. Then he wants some crazy shoes to wear with it. Since we wear the same size shoe and yes he is nine I offer him my white cowboy boots I wore when I got married 17 years ago. So while taking this picture I think maybe we should be heading to sixth street for the gay parade but I love that this kid has a funny bone. Much later in the night because I dropped him off at a friends house and hubs didn't see him. I send Hubs up to pick him up. I get a sorta nasty call from Hubs. I pick up the phone. The first thing I hear is..."ARE YOU KIDDING ME KERRY?". I say "what?'. He says "you dressed our son up like a cross dresser for Halloween". I defend myself and my pig pen. I tell him he wanted to be the funny guy and we just went with it. I really do believe if someone is gay they are gay and that is cool. It's what they are born to be. I really do not judge...some of the best people I know are gay. I do not believe I can make my kid gay by letting him try and get a good laugh by his costume. Hubs is not really getting why I allowed this. I do believe I will pick my battles with my kids....this is not one of them. Hubs believe kids will make fun of him. Kids are mean they will make fun of him regardless of what he wears on Halloween.
Then there are the high school boys! They came home and I got my big box of Halloween past costumes out. They had some fun taking crazy pictures in them. Of course they didn't wear them out because they are way too cool.
After dropping Aidan off I headed to Cole's friends house. He was already there. Thank God my friend had an extra costume for him since I was a huge slacker this year. Him and all his besties have these morph costumes in different colors. They were cracking me up posing in these outfits. My friend Stacy put on a great party. I ate too much pizza, cheese dip, and mini hot dogs. Hello my friends are make me fat! The kids all had a great time. These kids will be awesome to watch the next few years. They all have amazing personalities!!!
I couldn't show up with out a costume. I always think I have a great idea for a costume. I'm always disappointed that people don't get it. I did come up with this very last minute. Like the last ten minutes. I show up in my what I think is a clever last minute costume. I ask my friends husband what I'm supposed to be. That is a monkey on my back. So he says.."JANE?". I say..."Um no, I would never show up to trick or treat in a "JANE" costume". So the monkey confused him. I'm Courtney Love with a monkey on my back....Monkey meaning drug problem.
So after a while my friends son shows up. He is a senior in HS. I tell him how Blake...aka..the not so charming prince is walking around with his friends. He says lets go find him. I say..."Hell yes". We go in his sports car instead of my SUV. He says.."Put on the wig and we will blast music and embarrass him". Because I'm an evil genius at heart I always appreciate another evil genius and that he is! So I get my blonde wig back on and put on my sunglasses. We blast music and roll down the street as if we are from Jersey Shore. We find a bunch of Blake's friends. I say "stop there they are". The music is pumping and we roll down the window bobbing our heads to it. We say..."HEY WHERE IS BLAKE CAVENDER?" The group says..."over there and point a few feet away". We get out. One of his friends says.."Damn I thought you were my mom and I was about to be really embarrassed ". We get out and find Blake a few feet away. We walk up and and he is like "are you kidding me mom?". Then he tells me how I'm not funny at all and I need to go away! Mission accomplished!
So this was my first Halloween that I was not the house...besides last year. There was a better house that was like a Hollywood scene but I will not talk about it since it was a friend of a friends house. Bitter comes to mind. This was the first year in a long time that I enjoyed Halloween without killing myself and handing out two hundred dollars worth of candy. Even though I drove past all the overachiever Halloween people's houses and cussed in my head it was kind of nice. No clean up the next day was a plus!
A final thought...
After we got home Cole was wired from too much candy. He got on Facebook to look up my sisters page. He wanted to see if she posted pictures of my niece...aka...super girl. He finds pictures of her. Since candy has his brain in overdrive he decides to pull up all of her 5000 pictures. I'm comfortably watching my shit TV. He is scrolling pictures next to me. All the sudden he says most dramatically "MOM". I say "what?". He has a picture pulled up of my niece when she was born. It was all my kids, her, and me. I look over and say "that is a great picture". He says.."Mom you look so much better, you look so young and so skinny". I say.."um, that was only three years ago". He says.."are you serious you look so much younger". WOE IS ME! Again I'm not proof reading this shit and I'm no writer....don't be judging my ass! That means you sister...aka...twisty! You made me feel stupid yesterday!...just saying. If you want to judge you need to ghost write this shit! Oh yes and my regular guy who comments....chuck...where are you from and what's your story! Love all your positive comments!
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