Playoff week

 So it was a week for playoff and championship games in our house. It started with Aidan's playoff game for baseball. They fought hard and had a great season. They ended up coming in second for their season. It was fun to watch Aidan play this season. It is only his second time ever playing baseball. He ended up being a natural. He played pitcher, catcher, first, and second this season. His coaches and other parents were surprised at how great he played and what a natural he was. What they didn't know is my over thinker would study baseball on you tube for hours. He would pull up videos of the pros pitching and catching. He has a strange love for this sport. I kind of sound like that crazy mom that thinks my kid hung the moon. I am that mom and he did hang the moon for me.

 His team was great. The coaches and parents were incredible. As much as I will not miss practices I will miss this season. Not to worry though...another one is right around the corner. Gerbil in a wheel I tell you! I think this kid will be nothing but fun to watch through the years. He wants us to put him on a select baseball team. Having three boys playing sports the whole year we will not be able to commit to this. Select teams travel A LOT. I believe he would be a great asset to a select team but like I said time is not our friend. I had to tell him that select is not in our future. I told him there are plenty of great baseball players that never played select. I told him you either got it or you don't. I told him he happens to have it and will do great things regardless if he goes select at age nine. If I had some sister wives and unlimited funds select would be the way to go. I'm so proud of my boy this season!

 After we got Aidan through his playoff season we focused on Cole. Cole's football team was going to the division championship game for the second year in a row. He too was fun to watch. I was never a football lover ever in my life. Since two of my kids are playing I have become one. I never got football. Still couldn't tell you a damn thing about the game. What I can tell you is there is this unbelievable passion felt on the football field. It is a very time committing  and emotional sport. I did the photography again for the team. I captured some of the most emotional photographs ever. I love this photo. Those freckles kill me. Cole hates his freckles. He has asked me for bleaching cream to get rid of them one Christmas. That to me makes me sad. It means he has been teased over those freckles. He has been teased over lots of things. The biggest thing is his size. He got my short genes for sure. I keep telling him that he will grow. It's just going to come later than most of his friends.

 After we won the game I went to get my purse that was under the stands. Funny thing I was thinking about my late Father in law. I just was wishing he was here to see this. I knew he would have loved to see Cole win a championship game. He died way too young. He loved my kids so much and has missed out on some of the moments he waited for. My mother in law has this butterfly thing. She believes that when you see a butterfly it is one of your passed away people telling you they are there. So I get my purse and there right next to it is this perfect butterfly. The fact that I happened to be thinking about him at the time kind of made me a believer. I truly hope that he was watching...I know he would be so proud of all of us.

 So this picture is of Cole waiting to get is medal. That is Aidan right behind him looking so proud of his brother. This picture is a moms greatest accomplishment. I have raised boys that truly support each other and are proud and happy when the other one succeeds in life.

So we won the championship for the second year. It sparks many emotions. For one this is the last year for rec football. Next year he will play for the school. Hub's has always been really involved in helping coaching him. I see a joy in Hubs eyes when he coaches him. Now Hubs will have to be on the sideline. I'm sad for both of them. I know Cole loved having his Dad there and I know Hubs loved being there. The fact that they won on their field the last year playing will be something the two of them never forget. The biggest emotion for me is how fast these years go by. I wish I could slow them down.

So tonight we headed out to a friends house for dinner. I was in the front listening to the boys conversation. Cole was talking to his big brother about girls. He made some comment about a girl being ugly. I wanted to scream. Before I had the chance to scream I heard Blake say something to him. He told Cole to never say a girl was ugly because it is just not nice. He told him it was alright to think that but never say something that awful out loud. He told him girls are very sensitive and calling one ugly could haunt her for life. He told him if you don't have something nice to say about someone you need to keep it to yourself. I got this ear to ear smile on my face because I just realized my kids are hearing me. So many times I want to hold up a white flag and give up. I think I'm not cut out for this and it is just too much. Then something like this happens and I think I'm half way there living on a prayer.

Final thought, As I write this tonight so many things are heavy in my head. Parenting for one. I wish I could be that perfect parent. I do not think I am. I think I have made so many mistakes. Parenting is by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I take this to heart. I have a very tough time grounding my kids. Maybe because I spent most of my high school years being grounded. I had very strict parents which I respect and love. I do feel like I missed out on a lot due to being grounded. I don't want my kids to miss out on anything. I'm thinking I need a good therapist about now. Friendships are on my mind right now too. Thinking I have not been the best friend I should be. I have gotten busy with all my kids shit and have left friendships behind. I feel total guilt over that. I hope my friends understand but I was raised by a family that always said family first. Having one in high school means hands down family first. Like I said I question all the time if I'm cut out for this. Even though they were hard at a young age, midnight feeding and walking behind them every minute seems to be a walk in the park about now. Please God give me strength to raise socially responsible  kids that do right. I want my kids to first be happy, second to be healthy, and third be wealthily in life. At that point I know I have done my job! Then I can have a cocktail! Sorry for all the bad grammar and misspellings. This is me take it or leave it.