For better or worst...who ever came up with this nifty saying wasn't playing around!

 Tonight I was catching up on the 500 E-mails in my inbox. 100 of them were from my mom...aka...Deb Downer. I have a funny story about a conversation we had on the phone. At the end she says..."now don't go blogging about this". So I need to respect her request. Lets just say she reminds me of why I nicknamed her Deb almost daily. Where she hears these depressing murdering stories I'm not sure. She does tell them as if she knows the people. That always cracks me up. While going through all these Emails I came across a few pictures from Debs emails that made me laugh. I love this one of the snow dog!

 Love this picture! I love the dogs face. I think I would enjoy running as fast as I could with my tongue hanging out. It just looks so freeing. One of my favorite Emails from her just had strange facts. I thought I would share a few of my favorites.

1....2012, December has 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays, and 5 Mondays. This only happens every 823 years. Enjoy December since it is the only time we will see this. Because I was raised by Deb and because it's 2012 it makes me wonder if it has something to do with the rapture. Ya know how there are a lot of people who believe 2012 is the end. Those people freak me out!

2...If you happen to find yourself in the bottom of a well or a chimney and look up, you can see stars in the middle of the day. Hubs may find himself in this situation if he doesn't let me design the kitchen in the new place. I'm the one who cooks this should be my baby. I want off white cabinets. He keeps telling me how dirty they will get! Not if we put handles on them.

3....When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense to go is sight. Now dying freaks me out anyway. I have this strange fear that our mind does not shut off when we die. It scares the crap out of me. This is why I have decided to be cremated. Then I have that fear that I will be able to feel being cremated. Being buried and knowing it because our minds do not shut off scares me too. I think I may have watched too much Twilight zone as a kid! So be careful what you say after someone dies.

4....The moon moves two inches from the earth each year.....I wonder if someday people will not see a moon because of this.

5...The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day do to falling space dust.....If you really think about this it is scary.....Can't you just hear the Twilight zone music????

6...Drinking H2O after a meal reduces acid in your mouth by 61 percent...So drink up!

7....The roar we hear in our ear when we hold a seashell to it is not the ocean.  I did think "NO Shit" when I read this. What I didn't know it is the sound of our blood surging through the veins in our ears. Insert Twilight zone music once again!!!

8....nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean. Think about that! I think of all the land animals and insects I know. That means there is a lot of freaky shit living in the ocean. Maybe there is some truth to mermaids and that giant monster thing. Insert Twilight zone music!

9...The tooth is the only body part that cannot heal itself...should have been a Dentist.

10...In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted. Who came up with that kind of crap???? Thank God someone came up with the diamond idea. So much shit went through my head on this one. Oh my I would have loved to see how some of this apple throwing turned out! What if he missed and hit her in the head....was it a bad omen then????? What if she caught it and didn't want to marry him. Did she peg him in the head with it???? Do you keep the apple???? If you keep it do you feed your husband the rotten apple secretly when your pissed. What is the significance of "apple" and marriage???? You cut into it and it turns brown and gets rotten???? Now that was ugly....remember I'm in the middle of a move with Hubs!

11....People in nudest colonies play volleyball more than any sport. Go figure...their pervs! No disrespect is meant to you nudest! Maybe if I played volleyball naked it would make me eat right and exercise. They may be on to something. My overactive mind is thinking of what it would look like to see other sports being played naked. I puke in my mouth a little that is until I picture hot buff guys playing almost any sport naked.

12...In ancient Rome, China, and Germany people used urine as mouth wash....Kind of makes a golden shower not sound half bad!

13..Mona Lisa has no eyebrows, it was fashionable to shave them off back then! Don't think I didn't "google" this shit! Sure as shit she has no eyebrows! We have come a long way since then. Now we have moved on since then. It's now fashionable to shave off our beavers. I could tell a very funny story about that now but it's TMI. I will tell my closest friends after a few beers! Thank God I'm not drinking while writing because I might have put it out there then!

14...The night of January 20th is called saint Agnes's eve. Which is said to be the time a young women dreams of her husband. I remember dreaming of marrying a few Hollywood hunks and Brendan O'Donnell...when I was in middle school! I call BS on this one.

15...The banana can't reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of a man...I did just have to "Google" propagated". It says.."to cause an organism to multiply by any process of natural reproduction". This may just make a great science experiment for my boys! I'm still kind of confused by this even after "googling" it. I guess all you feminist out there need to suck it on this one! We cannot reproduce bananas!!!! At least we can reproduce children. Does anyone else want to stick a banana in their hubs hand to test this??????

16....this is my last one I will bore you with. This is proof that this is a Deb Downer Email. The swine flu vaccine in 1976 caused more deaths and sickness than the disease it was intended to prevent.....waaa, waaa, waaa! See those Moms against vaccination are probably on to something!!!!!

Is it sad when I saw this picture I got an evil grin smile on my face???? Is it sad that I pictured myself driving around like this so I don't have to listen to my kids bicker???? Remember I spend an UN Godly amount of time in my car driving my kids around. Speaking of driving around Hub's and I were driving back from Cole's playoff game today. We went to look at lots to buy so we can build "our" dream house. We do have different ideas of what "our" dream house is. Mine is starting to be my own dream house where I live alone doing naked bed angels by myself! So anyway while driving around I get a little sentimental. I say to Hubs last week at this time we were moving out of our dream home and packing. He looks at me and says..."I was moving out of your dream home and you were pissing and moaning the whole time". Really because I packed up most of that house!!!!!! Then he says you packed I moved it! So we are kind of in that my dad is bigger than your dad war in the car. We want to drive by a house our builder is building for someone else. We find it and it has a "No Trespassing" sign in front of it. I go to get out of the car. Hubs is like.."Kerry there is a no trespassing sign". I say..."They have to post that shit up and since when are you a rule follower?". He says.."Chicago girl we are in Texas people have the right to shoot you here for trespassing". I say.."good point your life insurance is higher than mine so you go look". He rolls his eyes like he seems to do a lot lately and tells me to get back in the car. I get out and go peek, I don't think someone will shoot me since no one lives there yet! I have white pants on big mistake in so many ways. He grabs my hand while driving. Back in the day when I was young and dumb I would have loved this. Now I know this means he wants something later and I'm tired so I pull away. He says.."whats your problem". I say.."I know what holding hands means and I want no part of that right now". I get yet another eye roll! Then we go look at lots...he poo poo's on my lot and I poo poo on his lot. For better or worst..comes to mind. Who ever came up with this nifty saying knew exactly what they were talking about.