Thursday, November 29, 2012

MaMa needs a cocktail

 So we spent a few days in Dallas. Hub's flew home Thanksgiving night. We stayed two more days. I had to drive home with three boys and a dog by myself. To say I needed a cocktail after that ride is an under statement. Blake...aka...the not so charming prince is finally big enough to drive in the front seat with me. It was nice in a way not to drive alone in the front. But he controlled the music which sometimes I can deal with. BUT THE BUM, BUT A BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM...was wearing on my brain this ride. My car was vibrating like two rap stars were riding in it. Cole and Aidan started bickering in the back seat. Blake who sometimes thinks he is their parent and not their brother started trying to control the situation. Cole and Aidan never respond well to Blake trying to parent them. Cole ends up popping off to Blake. All the sudden Blake is diving over the front seat to the back to fight with Cole. I'm going 80 miles an hour down the highway. I'm trying to pull Blake back to the front seat. All I have to say is Mama needed a cocktail after that drive.
So while watching shit TV tonight they were talking about Jessica Simpson. I guess she is pregnant before her million dollar weight watchers contract is up. They were talking about how she couldn't loose the weight so she got pregnant to get out of her contract. Then they were talking about all the celebrities that have lost weight on weight watchers. There are a bunch of them....the guy who married Britney Spears, Kirstie Alley, Valerie Bertinelii, Janet Jackson, and Jennifer Hudson. Yes, they lost the weight and look great. But come on...if someone offered you a million dollars to lose weight would it not set a fire under your ass?????  I don't know about you but if someone offered me a cool million to loose weight I would do crazy ass shit to get this shit off! Instead of fast forwarding while watching shit TV I would be doing jumping jacks. I would pee and do crunches at the same time. I might have tried that once. I would run in place while eating. If all else failed I would wire my mouth shut for that million. Hub's would LOVE that! I think weight watchers would be more effective if they knocked on some normal persons door and offered them a contract to loose the weight. The commercials could follow some every day persons success story! Thinking I should go into advertising about now...I may be on to something. Like reality weight watchers! I really don't think there are many people who wouldn't loose it for a million bucks!

While I'm thinking out of the box I think I need rehab. This comes after being on ladies night with a few of my best friends. One of my friends was talking about some rich person she knew who went to rehab. She said it was like a 90 day spa. I thought I could use that. I could totally say I was an alcoholic. I would have some sob story, I would make it sound good too. After everyone told me how strong I was I would ask  to go to the massage room and then ask for lunch and a nap. After weeks of this they would say are you ready to see your family. I would cry a bit and say..."I just don't think I'm ready". I would say I think I need more massages, some meditation, some good food, and a few more naps. Wondering how long I could get away with that. I would want my perfect dog there with me though.

On a final note...I used to imagine naked bed angels while Hub's was out of town. Since Mental pause I find myself imagining naked snow angels! Hot flashes suck! There is a lot to say about these people this week but I'm not in the mood to loose anymore friends at this point. While in Dallas My kids took over the TV. I had nothing to do. Since I can't sleep I read back on this blog. I have been writing in it three years now. I laughed, cried, and realized I have said a lot of the same shit over and over the last three years. I'm in the same boat I was when I started this blog. I need to either shit or get off the pot at this point in so many ways!!!!!!

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