What happens if I eat a booger?

While staying at Grandma and Grandpa's Aidan has had his share of cooking lessons from Grandma. Better get them all in while here, this shit stops at the door. No time to be Mom of the year at home. Debbie didn't let me dabble in her kitchen when I was his age. What has happened to her????? She had to go and get all Gramified and make me look bad. Aidan even says things like.....Make my mac and cheese the way Grandma does. Oh out of the Kraft mac&cheese box....no problem. This morning he cooked us a great breakfast and he is proud of it. Pretty good too. Maybe I should allow him to cook. We could be like Paula Dean and her son. We could have our own show....I could say things like..... son you need a little more butter in those onions. In a strong southern voice and then cackle like a witch.

Otis who is ban from the breakfast table is inching his way back in. He is a master at sneaking food off the table and counters. I always know when he is caught. I hear my Dad...aka...Grumps yell........You bad dog, now go lay done. A few minutes later Grumps will be on the sofa petting the bad dog. Grumps treats the dog much like he treats his children. We would do something to really make him mad. The scene was always the same. Grumps calls you in. While he is telling you what he is mad about his face starts to turn red. Usually I tried to get the last word in with him. This would really make him mad. He would put his hands on his hips say something like......get out of here.....followed by an OHHHHHH I'MMMMM SOOOOO MADDDDDD. A little time would go by and he would walk over and say something like.....What do you want on your pizza. It's as if nothing ever happened. He would get over things as fast as he got mad. This was a good thing and a bad thing at the same time. The good thing was I always knew my Grump would love me no matter what. The bad thing is I did a lot more bad things. I would think to myself.....well I could go have fun tonight, Grumps will be mad for five minutes, and then we will order a pizza. I probably ended up putting my Grumps through more than I should have. I feel bad now that I have my own kids. I have a feeling that Karma will be a bitch for sure.

Meal time is probably most entertaining around this house. Always interesting conversations. Probably my favorite part of being here. That is until Debbie informs me there is a poo poo under the sycamore tree that needs to be taken care of. I have had my share of good pizza for sure. So much so that it feels like a little water balloon is growing out the side of my hip. It's only on one side though. Most annoying I must say. bTW, JUST ORDERED A PIZZA.

The kids find the old fashion sprinkler and have a great time running in it. Who know they could be entertained by something with out bells, whistles, and a huge price tag. Sometimes I so wish I had a time machine....I would send their ass back to the 70's to see what car rides were like and what it was like to have one TV....with just a few channels. I wonder how long Sony and Cher could keep their attention.

Ella has the cutest voice ever. I'm going to have to post a video of her on here so you can see. Twisted is in for it with this one. She is one stubborn golden jerk already. A little more of that Karma going around. The funniest thing is when it is time to brush her teeth. She always says......No toofface.....which means no toothpaste. This drives Twisty nuts being the clean fanatic that she is. I just laugh.

I won't name names but one of my kids was laying on the sofa watching TV. I was on the next sofa watching TV. He says.......Mom what happens to you if you eat a booger????? I say.....Why???? Are you eating boogers over there????? He says....NOOOOOOO. I look over and his finger is up his nose. I say....Are you thinking about eating that booger????? He says....NOOOO, I was just wondering what would happen. I ask him if he really wants to know what happens if he eats a booger. He says..... is it bad. I say kind of. He says....I don't want to know then. A few minutes go by. He comes back with a .......how bad is it. I say not that bad. He says....will it kill you. I tell him that he will turn brown and green like a booger. He will ooze slime out of his ears, eyes, and mouth. Other places as well but we won't mention them. I tell him that everyone will know he ate that booger. A few minutes go by and he says.....how many boogers does it take till this happens. I say it's different for everyone. You never know when you will turn into a booger man. He disappears into the bathroom. My guess his he is checking himself. He comes back and says...I wasn't going to eat it! I say....I bet you were thinking about it. He says.....I always roll and flick mine! All I can think at this point is..........FABULOUS!

Ta da! While watching old Friday Night lights the Mom on there has one of the greatest lines I have ever heard. I'm going to steal it and use it on my children. She tells a kid........"Part of my job is to make sure you don't end up stupid. It's bad for the world." Love that line!

On a final note....One of my know it all children were telling my brother that everytime he smokes it takes a minute off his life. I am thinking I wonder how many minutes being a Mom takes off your life. I bet everytime I have to break up a fight it takes a minute off my life.