shopping with a two year old

Thursday morning my Uncle Jimmy takes my kids to the Cubs game. I hate to say it but I might have done a happy dance after they left. I have the entire day with my niece Ella. I hadn't gotten her a birthday present yet. I thought it would be fun to go out shopping together. Right off the bat she is pissed because she likes to watch a little shit TV like me and this means turning off the TV. First stop Toys R Us for a baby doll. We get to the dolly section and it is the typical adult verses kid shopping scene. The adult tells the kid they can pick what ever they want. The adult being me in this case if you didn't know. What the adult....aka...me really means is.....as long as I like what you pick out then you can have it. She walks up and down the aisle looking at the dolls. I walk up and down the aisle looking at the dolls as well. I'm showing her the ones I like and she is showing me the ones she wants. We are not picking the same ones at all. I don't like what she has picked out and she wants nothing to do with what I have picked. She settles on one and I'm still like.....wait look at this one trying to persuade her to pick the one I like. Why the Hell did I tell her to pick out whatever she wanted if that is not really what I intended. I realize that I need to let her have the one she wants regardless if I think it is cute or not. She gets her doll so we head to the check out. Of course it takes us a while to get to the check out since the doll aisle was only half way through the store. We pick up another toy on our way up to the checkout. Of course it is another toy I try to talk her out of. I lose because she is just so cute.

After Toys R Us we head to Nordstrom rack to get her a dress. Oh how I forgot what it is like to shop with a two year old. We head over to the kids section and while I'm looking she is standing in the cart when I turn around. Twisty would have died and totally called my ass out if she would have seen this. I let her out of the cart forgetting what a free two year old is like in a store. I try to get her to help me pick out a dress. She is having NO part of it. I try to hurry up and look through the dresses. I'm trying to watch her at the same time. I'm just glad it's my pick this time. I find a dress. I turn around to show her. She is coming out of the rack of clothes behind me and pulling them all off the rack at the same time. My first instinct is to grab her and run. Then I realize there a sales lady standing there giving me the stink eye. I start to try to pick up the clothes. At first I'm like who's two year old is this???? She seems to be following me around this store. The sales lady comes over and says.....I got it you can take care of your child. I say....Oh she is not my child, this is my sisters bad child. Well that's not exactly what I said but it was something like that. After we leave the dress section we head to the underwear section for me. I am picking out panties as fast as I can. This lady walks by me giving me the stink eye and points behind me. I turn around and Ella is standing in the cart. I look at her like wow, where is the lazy ass person with her, I have never seen this child before in my life. After she yells Kerry...I say oh yes this is my sisters bad kid.....she is somewhere in the store and left me with this bad child. I make her sit down and give her the underwear to hold. She puts it over her head and I let her. This is another fine example of lazy parenting at it's finest. This is why I'm paying for this kind of lazy parenting now with my own children. We give in way to much to keep them happy, this backfires eventually when you realize you have raised Jack assholes, and it' all your fault.

So anyway I'm staying with my parents for five weeks. Did I tell you that it is two parents, three grown children, four grandkids, and three some what large dogs in one house! I decided to help out a bit and washed all the dish towels and the drying towels. Now Mom...aka...Debbie is particular about how things are folded...she might just be Martha frickin Stewart. Dad...aka...the Grump comes home. I tell him I washed but didn't know how to fold. The fact that he knows how to fold bothers me in so many ways. One Debbie might just be a rock star teaching him to fold like Martha. Two being Hub's has a real hard time measuring up to Mr. Martha.

The dogs are insane.......If one barks they all bark. They are pooping in my Mom's garden like rock stars! My parent's are not used to this since we never had dogs growing up. Twisty and I are taking turns cleaning up poops. I think she should have double duty since she has two. My dog poops a nice easy pick up. One of her dogs poops mushy......the pick up is most annoying. It is like wiping an asshole in grass. I have to get the hose out to finish the job.

So I'm in the garden with Ella. I see her making a funny face in the bushes. I ask her if she is going poo poo. She says...NOOOOOOOO! growls a little bit at me but who's counting? I believe she is lying! Can't you see her nose growing??? Or maybe it is the fact that she put her hands over her face when I asked. I'm not some spring chicken out of the gate...I know a poop face when I see one. she is pooping for sure!

My Mom's garden rocks.....I so wish I had her green thumb...NOT so much though.

Oats is the best, love this dog......might just trade him for one of these people I live with!

Not computer savvy at all...tried to delete this last picture, for it is for a later post. Sneak peak this is one of the houses I grew up in.. Later on this. sorry to lazy to poof read or spell check, it is what it is!