DOUBLE DIAMOND

Twisty and I met my cousin Sherry at the new casino in town. My Aunt Beth and Uncle Jimmy took all four kids overnight so we could go. Big shout out to them. Can't say I didn't do a little happy dance out their door after we dropped them all off. We had a very peaceful car ride home. Car rides could be a whole nother blog post. We go home back to our frat like house since Debbie and Grumps are in Wisconsin we have kind of let things get out of control. On our way to the casino we are singing George Micheal's.....never going to dance again and Billy Joel's ....Friday night I crashed your party. We both love music and love to sing. I find it very unfair that we love this so much but we both suck at it. We both secretly want to be rock stars. Shortly after our first drink we need to pee. I come out of the bathroom after Twisty. When I get out she is like.......Oh my God they have those mirrors that make you look tan and skinny. We have some fun trying to take a picture of ourselves in it. I think why don't clothing stores have these mirrors???? They would probably double the sales. Then I think why can't we just look like this....it's almost like a soft focus filter. Is it so much to ask life to have a soft focus filter. No wrinkles, no pimples, and no fat! I spot a double diamond slot machine. I remember being in Vegas with my hub's parent's and this was their favorite machine. I think alright this is it for me. Down, down, down, ...I need a break. I have a hard time cashing out and have to wait for the manager. This place just open so they have a few bugs to work out still. He ends up giving me a gift card for the restaurant. I tell him I'm from out of town and can't really use this. He gives me his card and tells me use 50 dollars under my name tonight. I find Twisty and Sherry. I tell them lets hit the bar I have fifty dollars to spend. I pick the cute bartender. I tell him about the card and he takes our order. All the sudden this other manager comes over and tells us the 50 is not good on drinks. It is against the law in Illinois. Booooooo! We get our drinks anyway. The bartender asks if Twisty and I are sisters. We say yes. He is then telling us he is one of three boys. I say....damn you poor Mom! The next day Twisty says.....why didn't you tell the bartender that you had three boys???? I say because I was just Kerry that night....no need to let him know I had three kids. We laugh of course. He kind of looked like an x-boyfriend of mine.

Since Twisty is recently single I have been on the look out for a good catch for her. See the guy with the hair right behind her???? She said....hell to the no on this one! We did spot one guy who looked like a catch. He was very handsome and really well dressed with a pink tie. He was at a high rollers blackjack table. We do the standard high school like walk around his table saying look at me, look at me under our breath. He does look at Twisty once. What do we do??? We walk around his table at least three more times. We can't seen to get his attention. BTW, Twisty has zero game. I guess that's what happens when you marry you high school sweetheart. My mind goes on overload like most days. I think about that movie with Demi Moore when Robert Redford offers her a cool million for one night in the sack. Maybe I could pimp out Twisty! She could take the million. We could buy a ranch with lots of dogs and hire nannies to raise our kids. Damn it I hate having an overactive imagination. The nuns in Catholic school always told my parents I was a daydreamer. Still am! So needless to say we never get the attention of pink tie guy. While at the bar I say to Twisty....what is it about us we have been out a bunch and no one approaches us. She says....I think we are overdressed. So maybe she's right she might scream high maintenance. Little do they know all she really wants is for someone to respect her and love her for who she is. I say....were too cute, way to intimidating for guys. BTW, I'm not that vain just kidding. Trying to make Twisty laugh.

Back to the slots.....I'm down a lot. I believe in my heart that my passed away Father in law who loved the slots is on my side tonight. I'm down to my very last five dollars and I hit an eight hundred dollar slot. Wooooo to the hoooooo! I'm at the slot and Twisty is a few slots away losing her ass. I am yelling to to her to look at this. She finally gets it and comes over to me. I now become that person who needs gamblers anonymous. I can't stop I want more! My eight hundred is going down as fast as my first boyfriend. She is like STOP Kerry. I keep saying one more pull. She calls my brother and he is like...hit her over the head and get her out of there. He is trying to tell her the same machine never hits big twice. After I lose at least half of this eight hundred I hit another 400 hundred. Sweating my ass off wanting more pulls I step away from the slot and collect my winning. If Twisty wasn't there I might still be there today trying to win that ten grand. I get how people lose everything......that feeling of winning sucks you in hard! After this I am on that winning high. I think OMG, going to get botox with this! Damn it but I fear that kind of stuff. Way to chicken to do that. Wish they hadn't put that warning in about closing up your throat which could result in death.

After that we head back to the bar for a celebration drink. Twisty and me are funny. For years we spot a hottie and one of us will say to the other......did you see that???? The other one always responds yep I see that. So we see this guy who looks a lot like the Vamp. I say....lets go over and get a picture with him. Remember I am still on my winning high! I can do anything at this point. She is like hell no....he is like half our age. I walk over to ask him for a picture, as I'm going over there this Ray Romono looking old guy tries to get my attention. I blow past him to the Vamp look a like. I walk up and ask him if anyone ever told him he resembles the Vampire. He says....he has heard that before. I ask if he would mind taking a picture with Twisty. He says...sure why not. Twisty freezes because she has no game. I tell her.....well damn it get me with him. I ask him how old he is. He says...22. For God sakes I could have birthed this babe. After my picture Twisty ends up taking a picture with him too. On our way out the Ray Romono look alike tries to get our attention. Hello dude just saw a Vamp look a like not interested.