1....Don't use that tone of voice with me.......
To me this means....I can't frickin believe my child is talking to me this way...How dare he!!!!! I'm the only one who has earned the right to talk ugly or yell!!!! Yet another "WTF" moment of parenting!!!!
To them.....As far as my kids go they say....Well you are talking to me that way so why shouldn't I talk to you that way! This just chaps my ass. Hello have they ever heard of respecting their elders???
2....What did I just say????
To me.... this means I have asked them to do the same thing ten times and their still not doing it!!!!
To them....this means they did not hear a word I said and are wondering why my head is spinning and green shit is spewing out my mouth.
3....You can't judge a book by its cover
To me...this means...my oldest has had some bad judgment about who he hangs out with. I stress to him all the time we are from a small town and I will not have him ruin my super clean rep ....and yes I'm laughing out loud as I write this. Blake...aka...The prince...as my parents named him while in Chicago has a few Eddie Haskel's he hangs with. They talk a good game but mama knows best!
To him....He thinks I know nothing and am being snowed by him and these friends! Some day he will learn I'm smarter than I look. I was not being snowed at all!!!!
4....I would have never talked to my parents like that!
To me...this is somewhat true, I tested the limits for sure. I was shut down fast....but don't think I didn't go behind close doors flip them the bird and cuss them in bed.
To them....They really could give a shit what I did as a kid. They I believe could really give two shits about my childhood and how I did things.
5....If I was not here you would miss me....Or your going to miss me when I'm gone.
To me... I really just want some validation for all the shit I do for them. A little guilt never hurt either. I do believe they have taken years off my face and my life for that matter.
To them....they are thinking of all the shit they could get away with if I was gone. Secretly I think or hope they they would miss me if I was gone....who would find their SHIT???
6....If so and so jumped off the bridge would you????
To me...This means....are you really following the stupid things your friends are doing???? Didn't I do my job and teach you to be secure and make right decisions????
To them...This means I don't want to look like a dumb ass and be the one that says...my mama doesn't want me to this...
7....My all time favorite is.....Just wait till you have your own kids....you will get it then. At least I hope! I swear our own kids are our parents revenge on us! I just hope no one brings me a baby in HS! I will not be happy!
To me....this means someday they will realize the heartache, pain, sacrifice, and WTF moments we took on. It also will mean they will realize the joy, the happy times, the seeing the world again through your kids, and all the proud moments. I don't think that they know we feel their happiness and pain ten times harder than they do....
To them...this is really in one ear and out the other. They will never get this saying till they have their own kids. We are wasting our breath with this one. I swore I would never say these things since I knew they did not register but I still find these sayings flying out of my mouth! I think it's to eventually say...I told you so.
8....This place is a pigsty
To me...This means they are like tornadoes that I go behind cleaning up after!
To them...this means Mama will about this shit and after she calms her ass down she will clean it.
9...Do you think we live in a barn???
To me....This means I'm just as guilty as them of this. But since I'm the mom I can bitch at them when they do it.
To them...it's yet another in one ear out the other thing...yet another thing they don't really give a shit about!
10....So did you ever catch yourself saying....go out and play in traffic????
To me...This means I'm at my wits end...I have had it. I feel very guilty that this ever came out of my mouth but it did!
To them...This means go play in traffic....because we are invincible at this age. They don't understand after they do it why we are so mad that they did after we told them to do it.
11...Just be yourself...
To me ...this means act the way I taught you which means act like me!!! I'm not perfect by any means but I do at this age no right from wrong.
To them...this means,,,,They don't know what because they really don't totally understand who they are yet! I don't know myself for that matter sometimes and I'm in my 40's!
12....Don't ever let me catch you doing that again...
To me...this means my lazy parenting caught you doing something, I had to call you out on. Remember I am an ignorance is bliss gal.
To them...this means My mom can not see me do this again...doesn't mean I'm not going to do it!
13....It's your money, do you want to waste it??? Is it really burning hole in your pocket??
To me...It means I'm tired of listening to what you want to buy with it and I will be happier when you have no money.
To them...it means immediate gratification which unfortunately is how kids are raised now.
14...I'm going to count to three...
To me...this means I hope to God they stop what they are doing at three....but if they don't I'm fucked!
To them...It means I may want to stop before three but the older they get they test that theory.
15...Wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you...
To me...This means I'm tired of their smart ass mouth. I really in all reality would like to wipe that shit ass smile off your face...I imagine it but know I can't really go there...but don't think I haven't thought about it!
To them...they know good and well we are so full of shit and we would never wipe that smile off their face!
16....I brought you into this world and I will take you out of it.
To me...this is the last straw threat...I know I can not take them out unless I want jail time...but yet I say it!
To them...they are smart little fuckers and they too know we can not take them out. So they really don't give a shit about this saying!
17...Your face might stay that ugly way!
To me...This is a why the fuck do you make this face??? I can't slap it off you so I will try this old ass saying on you.
To them....They test it in the mirror if they are anything like me and then know that you are full of shit with this one!
18....Do you think your stuff is going to pick itself up??
To me...It means I'm tired of going behind them picking it up but truth be told I like a clean house. I will pick it up and bitch about it.
To them...It means I will bitch about it but they don't care because they know I will pick it up.
19..Just wait till your father gets home...
To me...this means I'm at my wits end once again and I'm going to throw the ball in hubs court.
To them...this means they are fucked! I could scream and cry and for some reason when hubs just talks to them they shiver. Let me tell you I'm way more mean them him yet his voice does things to them I can't do!
20.....You made your bed now lie in it...
To me...I really hate this saying, yet I find myself using it. I have in "my time" found myself in a few beds that I needed to get the hell out of! But my kids really don't need to know that till later in life!
To them...They have no idea what this saying means...until many years later!
21...Nothing good happens after midnight!!
To me...I here to tell you that saying is SOOOO TRUE!
To them...I have three heads and don't have a clue...I guess they will have to live and learn on this one.
22...This hurts me more than you.
To me...It really does hurt me more than them. I hate when things aren't bliss...really.....they just don't get it now. What they don't get is I have their back and there are few people they will meet that truly have their back.
To them...I'm the devil trying to stop them from doing what they want. The fun police. They think I'm the awful one....trying to break the party.
23...You can't find it??? Did I have it last or did you???
To me..This is a true pet peeve of mine....I mean really your asking me where your shoes or clothes are??? Did I wear them??? I don't think so!!! So where the fuck did you leave your shit??? Even Hubs does this.
To them...It means mom should be able to find their shit even if she didn't wear it!!!!
24....No means NO!
To me...No means No...
To them...No???? What the hell is no??? I'm going to argue this point till you give up.
25....No child of mine would do something like that...
To me...This means you have ruined my non tarnished name in dripping!
To them....They really don't get it or give a shit! It's all about them.
26...Am I talking to a brick wall???
To me..This means they are not hearing me or obeying me.
To them..this means yes you are for sure talking to brick wall. I remember being that brick wall!
27...Money doesn't grow on trees..
To me...this means they have no idea all the shit I could have bought if my money didn't go to them. My checkbook is on fire as I write with all the sports stuff. Do they even get I could have gone in the shop to take the years off my face if I didn't have to pay for all this??
To them...I really do believe they think money grows on trees! I fell like an ATM, pull my arm and money comes out. They are in for it when I kick their ass out at 18 and go to the nearest plastics doctor! I went home this summer. I have a few friends from catholic school that never married or had kids. They look great! I swear kids age you!
28...Don't make me tell you again...
To me ...this means I have said the same thing way to much!
To them...this means nothing!!!!!!!
29....When your the parent you can make the rules...
To me...Means they do not like the rules or agree with them. Tough shit, Dad and I own this house you are temporary guest in it. Your damn lucky that we have worked hard and provided you with the best things. Your in for a rude awakening when your on your own.
To them...Once again in one ear out the other. They are living the dream...Iphone, Xbox. hanging with friends, and not paying for a thing. Their meals cooked, rides provided, a nice comfy bed to sleep in, and everything is done for them. They could give a shit about when they are parents or have to provide for themselves. Why should they???
30.....I'm not here to entertain you!!
To me...this means I have really bent over backwards to entertain you this summer and your still not happy. Who the hell entertained me this much at my age anyway???
To them...this means....we did not do anything today...what do you have planned tomorrow??/? Are kids these days ever happy?????
Oh boy, these people I live with need to go back to school! God bless the teachers in the world!!!!!
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