My children are seriously on my last nerve. I can't stand the sound of the running and jumping, the fighting and whining. The "it's no fairs", "what are we doing next?", "So and so did this". Their like tornadoes running through my house destroying everything in their paths. I can't stand the sound of the refrigerator opening and the sound of wrappers crinkling. Calgon?????? Since I'm too old to become a stoner I re-did my patio to make myself feel better. So let me set the scene for you. Right now one is on the sofa next to me flopping like a fish out of water. The other one is in the kitchen trying to blend grapes and make some strange drink. I keep hearing the blender go on and off. I'm cussing like a sailor in my head while trying to watch the bachelor pad. I don't even have a cocktail to numb the situation. I gave those up except for special occasions. I have a sneaky suspicion they might have caused this super sized ass of mine. Another one comes down and asks me what is the longest amount of time I ever made out with someone. So right away I'm brought back to 1986 in my boyfriends parents basement. White snake is playing over and over on the tape player. Bet my kids don't even know what a tape player is. His parents have a bed in the basement. Now I'm thinking were they crazy or just naive. I had my banana clip in with my over sized sweater and my stir-up pants on. Yes, at least I was dressed. We would lay on that bed for hours making out. I'm not about to tell him that though. So I think to myself....is this some kind of evil joke on me, a bad dream???? Is this the payback my parents wished on me so many times. Did he really just ask me this. Better yet does anybody frickin sleep in this house??? Oh yes, Hub's is sleeping like a baby and I want to run down the street screaming.
Speaking of the bachelor pad, I can't believe the idiots on this show. Do they not have parents that will be watching this? I mean we all have done things were not proud of. Acted crazy, got too drunk, or hooked up with someone we shouldn't have. Did no one ever tell these people those are called skeletons meant to be kept in the closet??? Well once in a while on a ladies night after too many cocktails a bone or two might fly out. Sometimes I even find myself trying to push them back in. I do feel bad for their parents, they must be so proud. I will probably get punished for saying this and one of these jack asses will end up on a reality show. That's when I move away never to be seen again.
I have been nice enough to let Aidan...aka..pigpen, help out with some cooking. Even though this is sometimes more work for me. Remember his name is pigpen for a reason.
He may have got into my wine!!!! I had to yell.....Step away from the mama juice before I knock your block off!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, he helped me make some sangria for a party we attended. Mom of the year here!!
He usually passes out like this every night. He has single handily taken over the computer and TV. When he finally passes out I do a little happy dance in front of him while I flip him the bird. It just makes me feel better.
Blake....aka...the prince, and I'm not talking about the charming one. He would be more like the dark one. Anyway it seems like all we do is argue lately. It makes me really sad. About five minutes into every car ride we end up in an argument. Car rides are really the only time I see him now. Because all I do is drive the princes ass around. No matter what I say, he argues with me. Then he has the nerve to tell me to chill out!!!!! I don't know about you but I shutter at the thought of telling my parents to chill out even at this age. So I cuss in my head and wonder how I messed this parenting thing up so bad. When I picked him up from football today he didn't have his football shorts on. I asked why he didn't. He says, "I have no idea where they are". I said, "did you look for them". He tells me he looked everywhere. I laugh thinking how the hell is this kid ever going to go to college. I laugh because I washed them last night folded them neatly and put them right next to shirt he has on so he would be sure to find them. I tell him they were right next to shirt he has on. He then says....."Why are you yelling at me?". I yell......"I WASN'T YELLING". That is until now.
Tonight I decided to do a little baking, that is until pigpen took over.
His wife better thank me some day for teaching him how to cook.
Pigpen two, has no interest in baking. He never met a beater he didn't lick though.
So today I spent seven hours cleaning because we had a showing on our house tonight. It wasn't even very messy. See why I want to move. It's just too much house for me. So hubs comes home and I'm never in a great mood after spending the day cleaning. He says..."What's with you?". I tell him I cleaned non stop and did a shit load of laundry. I tell him the kids are like tornadoes and I'm sick of it. He looks at me with a straight face and says....."Maybe if you just do a little bit each day it wouldn't be that bad". SCREAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! So I sat there, I happened to have a fork in hand. I thought about flying over the island and forking him to death. A padded cell doesn't sound half bad about now. If this house was not for sale I would stop doing just a little bit each day. I would pay money to see the look on his face when he came in from work and I didn't do a little bit all day. Bitter????? Maybe just a little bit!!!!!! My kitchen once again looks like a bomb went off in it. There is no sign that I cleaned a damn thing today. Anyway I feel like I should say...I really do love my kids, they are truly a blessing even if I'm rolling my eyes while I type this. I'm just really ready for school to start!!!!!!! Tick, tock!!!
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