Monday, April 30, 2012

50 shades of why can't I go back to my twenties!

I know I normally put pictures with my blog entries. No time for that tonight. I need to go back to reading "Fifty Shades of Grey". So I'm a Dr, Oz crazy fan. I DVR every single show. Earlier in the week he had a show on about the book "Fifty Shades of Grey". I had heard a little about this book but I guess I really wasn't paying much attention. Anyway on his show he has people on that had read it. He also read it. The people on there were talking about how it spiced up their bedroom life. Dr Oz said he walked around with a smile on his face after reading it.

Thursday night it was my neighbor Kelly's birthday. We went over for a drink after the kids went to bed. Kelly asked me if I had heard of the book. I told her I saw something on Dr. Oz about it. She said she had just finished the first book. When I was leaving she gave it to me. I had to work the next day. When I got to work I did my normal routine. I opened the houses, put the music on in the model home, and read E-mails and Facebook. On Facebook my friend Dawn posted an Ellen video about "Fifty shades of Grey". So many people were commenting on her post. I thought damn I need to read this shit. After I get my busy work done I settle in to start the book. I'm not a huge reader, there are lots of books I started and never finished. There are few that hold my short attention span. I can name on one hand the books that really held my attention. Twilight being number one, A million pieces being two, and the late laminated Molly Marx being three. So I start to read this. At first I'm reading and thinking about other crap I need to do. I was so half reading that I thought "Grey" the main guy was black. Totally picturing Taye Diggs in that role....just saying. I'm at the end of my work day and I don't want to leave, I want to keep reading. Every time the door dinged with a customer I couldn't help but think it was Taye Diggs to take me to places I'd never been. See I have a totally over active imagination.  I have a middle school kids party I need to go to. I go home to get Hub's and the kids to head to this party. I read the book all the way to the party.

While at the party I mention I'm reading the book. Every one there knows the book I'm talking about. Even the host Hub's says he is tired from his wife reading the book. It takes me a minute and then I get what he is saying. BTW, if your a dude reading this blog get your girl this book. It will do wonders for your sex life. I'm only half way through and all I have to say is OH MY! So after the party my parents were flying in with my niece Ella. I talk Hub's into going to the airport. I tell him I have lots of stuff to do to get ready for them. Truth be told, I did all the stuff. I just want that hour to read more.


My parents get to Austin with Ella. I'm deep in this book when they get here. I still can't get this book out of my head. I want them to be sleepy from the flight so I can keep reading! I come from the family of night owls so this is not the case. They finally are ready for bed. I go up to sleep in Aidan's bed since he is asleep on the sofa. My niece wants to sleep with me. I get settled and get her ten books. I read my book while she tells me she is not about to close her eyes! Normally this would bother me. Not tonight, I'm like no problem you read these nursery rhymes while I read this XXX book!

I don't know what it is about this book. I'm not into to the whole bondage thing. Yet this book has me obsessed. While reading it I can't help but wonder why Dr. Oz went through his day smiling after reading it. Maybe he has bondage issues????? Or maybe he is happy because it is making people have sex. He does say people who have sex regularly live longer. Anyway, Saturday came along and wanted to stay in PG's and read the rest of this book. No time for that family is in town. My Mom and I head to Wimberly TX to shop. We shop and then I have to hurry back to take prom pictures for someone. After the prom pics we head to dinner. After dinner we have a few drinks. I'm kinda of waiting for everyone to go to bed so I can read some more. Finally at 1 am everyone is in bed. I get the book out. Now I'm half buzzed and really sleepy trying to read this. I'm still laughing at mom...aka...Debbie Downer. Right before she went to bed she went to put her wine glass in my dishwasher. She complained  because she does not think I load it right. I laugh thinking I've been on my own for a lot of years and it works just fine for me. I'm trying to get into this book while she re-loads what I have already loaded. While re-loading and while I'm trying to read she breaks a glass. Karma????? Maybe...... I don't know how I have survived without her loading my dishwasher all these years. I do really love Debbie with all my heart, I wish she would retire and come put my house together. My drawers and closets really do need a Debbie. Anyway she goes up to bed and I get deeper in this book. I'm half ass buzzed and super sleepy  at this point. I think I need to re-read those chapters. I know they were good. My head was bobbing the whole time I read it. Yet I couldn't stop.


Having an over active imagination when your reading you picture yourself as the main person in the story. Of course I'm picturing the twenty something version of me. The one that I thought was fat but really had a body I would give my left tit for now. I'm not really picturing the muffin top version of myself that came after forty. LikeI said, I don't know what it is about this book. I don't think it is the bondage stuff that attracts us women to it. I think it may be the really rich guy that takes care of us. I swear with the divorce rate as high as it is now. I think money first love second. I think we have it ass backwards. I also think this book gets women because we as women want to fix broken things. This guy is for sure broken and we can all relate to wanting to fix a guy. I think my biggest fix was I was going to  change a guy from being gay.  He was perfect to me minus the fact he liked liked guys. I could shop with him, talk house stuff with him, and totally relate to him. The sad thing was he liked boys. I thought for sure I could change his mind. I'm here to tell you whether the guy you like is gay or a total asshole you don't have the power to change anyone. So you better be careful with who you pick because you can't change an orange into an apple.

Anyway this book is the kind of book that gets you thinking....I like those books. Hub's came home and said he heard about this book on the radio. I said..."what did you hear"???? He said I heard it makes women horny. I said..."It may...but don't get used to it because it doesn't last". If he happened to be Taye Diggs it might just last a little longer!!!!!!! Gotta to go....I have some reading to catch up with!



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