I tell my kids when they get home that I'm playing on a softball team tonight. Cole looks at me and says...Do you know what first base means??? I want to say...Um yes, kissing but my bad sense of humor has no business in the mind of an eleven year old. I tell him yes I know what first base is. He them asks me if I know second base.....Hello up the shirt everyone knows that!!!! He questions me on every baseball term. He tells me we should practice batting because he does not want me to embarrass myself. Really, am I this pathetic??? I was excited but now I'm worried. He tells me everything I need to know about baseball! No faith, no faith....
Blake gets home from middle school and I tell him I'm going to play on a softball team. His response is....ya know you have to take this team stuff seriously. He then says.....you can't screw around and act crazy on the field. I guess he pictured me dancing around like a crazy person in the outfield. Really???? Because I haven't spent the last 11 years of my life watching Y'all play sports not to mention all the sports that seem to be on my TV. I think I may have learned a thing or two over the years. I love how I support all of them and they have no faith in me.
Hub's gets home as I'm getting ready for my game. He asks why I'm putting on lip gloss to play. I tell him a girl needs to look good while kicking ass on the field. He laughs and not with me more like at me. Big difference. He gets his glove and shows me how to catch. He shows me how to stand when I bat???? This is all going in one ear and out the other. Do these people I live with really think I'm a dumb ass. He even tells me to be careful because he does not want me to get hit by a ball. It's kind of making me mad. Does he really think I would stand there and get hit rather than catch it???? I'm not an idiot.
My friend Stacy picks me up for the game, we shot gun a beer before we go. I get there and all of the sudden get really nervous I think these people I live with got in my head. I want to do good since I'm a fill in. They sent me to the outfield. I'm thinking in my head...be cool don't get crazy and just get the ball. Nothing comes to me thank God. In between I have Hub's take a picture of me and Stacy so I can put it on Facebook. Hello, look at me I'm playing softball. I get comments from my sister that are pretty much like really???? I get a comment from a friend that says your there to tailgate. My family and friends have no faith in me. I work out look at my body...LOL.... I get up to bat for the first time nervous as hell. I need to do good in this game. My family is watching not to mention I need to do good for the team. The lights are messing me I feel nervous it's much easier playing wiffle ball when it doesn't matter. I strike out, oh how my head is between my legs. We go back to the outfield and a ball comes to me and I get it and throw it into the in field. I thought I did great. I come off the outfield to Hub's telling me I throw like a girl. Hello last time I checked I was a girl....He tells me I need to reach far behind my back and throw. Glad I have him here to guide me. can you feel my sarcasm???? What I love is the kids couldn't wait to see me play but they played their own game in the open field and never saw any of my game. I get up to bat again, this time I hit it and get to first base! I'm super excited. Next batter strikes out so I never have that slide into home like I imagined. We win the game!!!! hell yeah! All because of me because I'm sporty.
After the game Stacy and I head to the barber shop. This is a little place in Drip that used to be a barber shop turned into a beer bar. Earlier in the day while at kid pick up my friend Jason tapped on my window. He told me his wife and him were going to the barber shop to meet Kyle Chandler. Now if anyone of you do not know who he is....he happens to be the star of Friday night lights, he has been on Grey's anatomy and was in the early edition and has also starred in super eight the movie.This dude happens to live in Drip which is a small town. To say I'm a stalker is an under statement. I'm a stalker with nothing to say. I talk a big game but I have no game. We get there and he is not there. We talk to Jason and his wife. All of the sudden he walks in. My friend Stacy is like that is the guy right??? I say yes. She is like you are red as hell keep talking to me. We talk and laugh about this. My camera is with me. There is us and their group in the bar no good reason to sneak a pic. Jason walks over and says...do you want me to induce you??? I say....no I don't want to seem like a crazy stalker. The night goes on and Jason's wife joins us. Kyle is about to leave. Jason is motioning me if I want to meet him. I give him the heads up. He introduces me to him and I'm like a deer in headlights. I introduce him to Stacy. I had nothing cool to say, nothing funny to say, and nothing clever to say. Your shocked right???? HaHa
Anyway I get home super excited about my Kyle run in. I tell Hub's everything he is like .......you sound like a middle school freak! Yep I do! I text everyone who gives a shit when I get home! This blog is only going to be funny to the people who really know me and know how Sporty I am........NOT!
No comments:
Post a Comment