Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The day I won the power ball in my head!

It was a balmy night. I had gone to the local convenient store for a six pack and some power ball chances. I sucked down my beer and awaited patiently for ten O'clock to roll around. I just new I was going to win it. I had asked the Universe on more than one occasion. Now the Universe books do claim to give you what you want. Remember you just have to ask for it and believe it is yours!!! I believe! Ten O'clock rolled around. I had missed it because I was busy numbing the pain of driving people around all day. I had the money spent in my head.  I was going to walk/run away with almost 400 hundred million. It may seem like a lot of money to spend but I have faith I can do it. I've been a good person, I'm do for some good Karma to come my way.

So what would I do with my new found money?????
Would I run like hell never looking back?????? (Of course, I would leave these people enough money to get a nice nanny to drive them around though)
Would I change my name, hair color, and complete Identity?????? (Just call me LULU from now on)
Would I tell a few people to kiss my fat ass???? (Absolutely, then I would have that fat sucked out)
Would I disappear into the night never to be seen again???? (People would make up crazy stories like I had been abducted by aliens)
I'm being ugly letting my evil twin Lulu get the best of me!!!!!! See money does make people do evil things!!!!

What would I really do with my new found money??????
Disappear .....Ha Ha evil laugh!
First I think I would pee my pants. Then I would run around like a crazy person screaming "I'm rich, I'm rich". I would stuff that ticket where the sun don't shine and sleep with one eye open till I could collect. I would have a hard time falling asleep because visions of millions would be in my head. I would wake up and scream "Holy Shit, I won the lotto". I would do a happy dance around the whole house. I would get a wig and sunglasses and go collect this shit. I'm not sure how long it takes to hit the bank. When it did I would take out a bunch of it. Don't think I wouldn't be doing naked angels in it all over my house. Yelling "I'm rich" the whole time! Don't you bullshit me that money can't buy happiness. That's what poor people say to make themselves feel better.

My first order would be to disappear. I would tell these people that Mama needs to go to rehab for a while. They would be confused. I would tell them I was a closet addict. I'd kiss them goodbye, tell them "I'll call you, don't call me". I would tell them I'm going into a 30 day program. Then I would head to a spa that only rich people could afford. I would of course convince a few other people they needed to go to rehab with me. They would not be these people I live with....just saying! I would get massages, do yoga, eat, drink, eat, dance, eat, meditate, eat, and eat! Maybe get that botox I keep talking about. I would come back refreshed and renewed. Ready to take on my new rich life.

I would come home.....Do some more naked angels in a pile of cash yelling "I'm rich" over and over. I'm building a house now. Would I keep it???? I think I would. I think I would give it to a family member I would love to have out here though. I would buy a lake house. I would also buy a bunch of acres. I would not build a mansion but a kick ass house. I would also build a few more houses on the property for some family to move into. I would get a bunch of rescue dogs...against Hubs better judgement. But I won this shit and what I do it up to me. Dogs come to mind!  I'd build a killer pool and outdoor living where we could all meet. Cars???? There not that important to me. Don't think I wouldn't roll around in a killer car though! Remember I have almost 400 million. "I'm Rich". All my money worries would be gone. College???? Where ever you want!!!!! Car??? No problem! Spoiled....hell yeah! Who doesn't really want to spoil their kids????

Next order of business......take care of the people who have made a difference in my life. Some are family, some are not. There are so many people that come to mind. Thank God, I'm rolling in it. Family comes to mind first. I would surprise each and everyone of them with something life stopping. I'd be like "Oprah". Paying off houses, buying cars, vacations, and great surprises. I would have so much fun with that. Then I would go home and do naked money angels in my money...yelling "I'm rich". There are a few friends, teachers, and people I have met on my way that I would love to do something great for. I always cry when Oprah and Ellen do something unbelievable for someone. I want to do that! Some people would be surprised. There would be a few people that would be shocked. Man that would be crazy fun. I would be like Santa. Then there are a few Facebook people. The ones who are single moms and I know they work their ass off. I would so surprise them with something just for them......See Universe, I need to win! Then there are a random stranger's on Facebook that friended me because of this blog.  Thank you for listening when I think no one hears me. I know I can be bit crazy but who isn't????

Finally, strangers. If I had that kind of money. I would feel a need to give back. As I'm writing this so many bad things come to mind. Boston, The Texas explosion, Oklahoma! All made me cry. I would love to do something great and make a difference. If I won I could! So today is the day I won the power ball in my head! If I really won I would have so much fun and not hoard. DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE???????

This prompted me to start a conversation with these people I live with at dinner. I asked them if we won the power ball what would they want to spend it on. I was hoping they would want to do great things with it....hoping I raised them with compassion. Now Hubs was out at our dream house looking at all the things that were not getting done on it. Whole other blog! Someday I hope to live in this house....Just saying!  Blake...aka...the not so charming prince....says..."I don't know". Proof that he is spoiled! He finally says..."I would buy a house for my girlfriend and me". I say.."You are too young to have a house with your girlfriend". He says...."I would buy one for our future". "That's sweet and all but what about doing nice for others????" Crickets! I need to do lots of work on him. The two little guys.....Pig pen and Drama have a lot of request. First they say..."We can't tell Dad cause he will try to control us". I might have spit my dinner out when they said that. I say..."It's so much money we can tell him". They say..."No, lets just spend the money and not tell him". I spit food again. I say..."What would you do with that kind of crazy money???"I do say.."how can we explain all the crap we're buying to Dad??". They say.."We will figure it out"'LOL really I'm Laughing. Pig Pen wants a wake board boat, lake house, baseball equipment, and baseball cards. Drama wants a go cart and a ranger. He also wants a big room...which he is getting in our/my dream house. I was sad that not one of them decided to do anything for others. They were all about themselves. Typical of this generation. Somewhere we went wrong giving them too much and not teaching them compassion. At least I have! Woe is me!

Anywho, If I won the lotto. I would do great things. Really.....besides disappear into a spa life. My dream life is to be a rock star....I can't sing though. Next is to win a crazy lotto....so I can give and give back. Final is to be on the Ellen show...I'm jealous of Jeanie her assistant who gets to give people in need money. I want to do that just once. So Universe do you hear me?????? Don't judge me for miss spelling or run ons or bad grammar...I'm tired. No time to proof read...three kids need to get to three different schools in the am. This is why I need to win!  A driver, a cook, and a house keeper would be great! Just saying Hello Universe is it me your looking for???????



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