Bryden.....Hot, military guy. Loves dogs. Nice teeth
Will....He's from Chicago...that's a plus. He does yoga another plus. He's black....I have this sudden attraction to Black men.....He's no Tay Diggs though.
Drew.....What girls doesn't love a guy with a sad story. We love to fix things especially broken men. Nice eyes too.
Nick R....Another Chicago boy. Problem is he's a magician. Do a magic trick Nick and disappear.
Zak W.....From Texas. The opening when he jumped off the cliff in black socks and a bathing suit killed it for me. His teeth are almost too white. Then they cut to the clip of him naked on his deck. What a douche bag. Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Robert.....From CA. He has a cute baby face for sure. He might just get my first impression rose.
Mike....Dental student from Dallas. Great teeth. When he's walking though the forest he almost looks like he could be one of the wolf boys from Twilight.
Brandon....Adrenaline junkie with Daddy issues. Another sad boy who needs to be saved. Sexy and has great teeth.
Wondering if there is any rhyme or reason why these eight got a cameo.
I love when the first limo pulls up and you hear all the owing and awing from the car.
First guy out Drew.....She seems to think he's cute. Even does a little "Ummm, Ummm, Ummm" as he walks away. I see rose colored glasses in his future for sure. His futures so bright he better wear shades.
Next up Brooks....No "Ummmm, Ummmm, Ummmm", as he walks away. My guess is The only red in his future is a red face when he's asked to leave on the first night.
Brad.....The wishbone was clever. She seems pleasantly surprised. My guess he's staying.
Brydan...No game. Brings up Sean right out of the gate. Doesn't he know that's a sore subject. My guess is he stays though.
Michael....Takes her for a walk. She laughs uncomfortably because he's a douche kind of.
Kasey.....I want to slap that shit grin right off his face. Really dude, calm down. WTF, is with the "Hashtag" comment???? Stalker!!!!!! My guess, he goes.
Will.....The token black guy. He's going, she seems annoyed by him and his not so great personality.
Mikey....Who calls themselves "Mikey". All I can think about is that 70's commercial. The one where you give what ever you don't want to eat to "Mikey" Your an adult "Mikey" time to move up to Michael. It seems the crap he is feeding her is going in one ear and out the other. It's curtains for you Mikey!!!! You will be eating your cereal alone.
Johnathan.....Hands her a note right out of the gate. She thinks it's cute till she reads it. Fantasy suite already dude????? Please the only fantasy you can count on is dry humping your pillow! My guess, it's curtains for you. She looks at him likes he's a total douche bag.
Zak W......And the biggest douche bag award of the night goes to....... Of course this spray tan junkie gets out of the car shirtless. He is the one who drinks coffee naked on his porch. We shouldn't be surprised. Please dude put your abs away. I imagine a life with him would be him walking around naked flexing in every mirror he passes. Just think when he made love to you he would probably look down and stroke his abs instead of you. Sexy...not! If I were Des I would have sent him right back in the limo. There is nothing worst than an egomaniac. She does seem almost embarrassed for him. I love the other guys reaction when he walks in the house. They all know he won't last long.
James....Right out of the car he talks about becoming her husband. Please dude, get a clue. Women like a little more of a challenge. If he doesn't go right away he will go.
Larry....Maybe he should taken dance lessons before he pulled that move. Her face says it all. Your outta here Larry.
Nick....Magic Nick.....not a magic Mike kind of guy.
Zack...Please dude your not a five year old put on your big boy shoes.
Diogo....Ok, the knight outfit???? Epic fail. Guy needs to learn how to walk in that shit before he tries to woe her in that outfit. He was walking as if he had a corn cob up his ass. Poor Des looks embarrassed for him. He is sweet though. Sexy, not so much. Her face says it all. Your out Larry. Hope you brought a horse because that's the only thing you will be riding.
Chris.....Sweet guy. Who doesn't like a guy who gets butterflies. His joke is lame though. He did get a "funny" from her as he walked away.
Mike R.....Hello Mr spray tan with really white chicklet teeth. When are guys going to get a clue that orange spray tans are not hot.
Robert.....Nice normal guy. She seems to like him. I seem to like him too. Maybe she should call me so we can chat about him.
Juan....Sexy voice. He brought chocolate. He's a keeper.
Brandan.....aka Evil Kanievel...Please! He's lucky he's cute. He got a "Cute" as he walked away.
Brian...Pleather jacket????? Come on dude...your on TV!
Micah.....Homemade outfit????? You have to be like Channing Tatum to pull that shit off. Curtains for you!!!!!
Nick M......A poem. Cheesy dude. I'm on the fence.
Dan....Smiley kind of guy with plastic like hair. Don't know what else to say except I can't help but wonder what his hair feels like.
Brody and Ben.....I'll take Brody. But damn it if his Dad isn't cute too. I love when he puts the kid in the limo and he says..."I wish I could go to the party". I hear ya Brody, "I too wish I could go to the party".
That's all the guys!!!!!! My head is spinning. Who will she sent home first????? Now it's party time. Ya know there will be a few token drunks.
The magician is first to make an ass out of himself. Please dude if I were her I would make him disappear. Saved by Pin striped stallion. That coin he gives her better be a magic one. Because he's a bit cheesy. It kills me when they interview him and he says..."I know what I feel inside is real". What you feel is a chubby pin stripe pony!!!!!! He thinks he just met his future wife. Please.........
Ben is a total Casanova. Has a kid never married though. May be a red flag. I could see him in the top three. He did get the first rose. That kid shit does work. Then they keep flashing on the shirtless wonder. He seems to always be flexing. Do us a favor and go stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror because your nauseating.
The knight, I almost feel bad for him. The dancing Monkey....Laugh my ass off. Please would someone give Zak W the shirt off their back. Of course he takes his pants off next. In the pool he goes. Let the shrinkage begin. I can't believe she gives capital douche a rose. What does he do???? Flexes his abs with it of course. Who doesn't like a circus monkey though. Army boy is cute and sweet. OMG, Soccer boy kills it. Sexy with a ball. The guys even come out to ogle. Shirtless wonder still making a giant ass of himself.
Butterfly boy is a little silly. He looks super nervous. Thank God she gives him a rose. Larry is worried.....He should be he's no McSteamy. He talks with his eyes closed. Johnathan...aka...Love tank please....drop the fantasy suite crap. Get a clue dude....your a creeper. Love when he says..."My mom thinks I'm good looking". Of course she does she's your mom. Then there is the "Love tank" comment. That is one love tank that is not going to the fantasy suite. He almost seems like he smoked some magic cigs. The third time he tries to take her to the fantasy suite she sends him dry humping right out the door.
It's time for the rose ceremony. Sometimes I can't even watch these. The look on their faces are pitiful. Some look like they could cry. Others look like they could pass out. The poor Knight looks pathetic. Their on the final rose...so dramatic. Cole my favorite bachelorette watching kid is mad "home made suit boy" is gone. He thought he was funny. Then Cole says..."Desiree, is not only hot but she's got a good personalty too".
The big Dipper is out. Said he practiced that dip 50 times. On what I wonder????? Magic man disappears. He thinks she made a mistake. Don't worry there's a magic pony out there somewhere for you. The Knight didn't turn out to be her Knight in shinning armor. He's lost because he opened himself up so much and gave everything in that five minutes he talked to her. He has an explosion of love to share with someone. I feel slightly sad for him.
That wraps up the first Bachelorette. She likes them handsome for sure.
Final thoughts.....Shirtless wonder needs to go.........
No comments:
Post a Comment