Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Hey look at me and Twisty

The kids were out of school the Monday Twisty and Ella were here. They had a birthday party at jump street. This place was so much fun. Twisty and me totally acted like children here. We also ignored the boys. Look at the poor kids on the sidelines. Twisty is totally taking up their space. That little girl in pink in the background is about to be sent flying when Twisty hits the ground. See her she is mentally preparing herself for launch. She even has her stance down. You know she's thinking Holy Shit!
I finally get my chance at this after Twisty sends a few kids flying. Look at all the kids running for cover behind me. That is Ella in a panic behind me. She is like Oh shit where do I go. This was surprisingly exhilarating. Even though the place smelled like a sweaty gym locker. Lots of stinky kids and stinky feet around.
This is one of the pictures I saw of myself that sent my ass running. I'm running!!!!!! OMG, does anyone watch the bachelor? I just sounded like the bitchy twig Courtney when I said I'm running. Every show she says....I'm winning. Every show I want to punch her in the mouth. I'm going to walk around and say....I'm running to all my friends. I want to see who will be first to call my bragging ass out. While writing this I just text Twisty....I'm, running, I'm a runner. She text right back...I love it. She's not going to love when I text her this over and over. I'm not going to post this blog till I get a reaction out of her.
Twisty refuses to go down the slide with Ella. She is a germ freak. She has no problem letting me go down the slide of germs and snot. Or her daughter for that matter. I think it's fun. I know I have said this before but I wish we aged in reverse. I would enjoy my childhood so much more. How great is it to be a kid. So while were talking about the germ freak Twisty. She text me the other day.
Twisty.........Did you see Dr OZ about the lemons?????
Me.....No
Twisty......He grabbed a bunch of lemons from a local restaurants and found yeast on them. That shit goes in our drinks. Yeast like the crotch kind.
Me....OMG, why do you tell me this.
Me......Imagine all the butt cheese on chips in my house.
Twisty....Just threw up a bit.
Me.....HaHa
When Blake comes home Ella drops everything and goes right to him. Everyone else does cartwheels around her. Blake blesses us with his presence from time to time. What is it about teenagers. They seem to forget how to talk when they turn 14. Everything is a head nod or a grunt of some kind. She likes him more than anyone. She is doomed for sure. She will be that girl that boys will be doing cartwheels for and she will like the asshole that ignores her. Kind of feeling like I'm talking about myself in my younger years. Why do girls do stuff like that???? It's so crazy. I always gave great advise to all my friends but found myself chasing the asshole. I think I used to be one of those girls that thought she could change them. I have finally learned you can't turn a orange into a Watermelon.
This is my house every weekend. It is filled with boys. I have a running joke about Aidan. I started calling him Where's Waldo. He seems to pop up in lots of the middle school kids pictures. I even tag him as Where's Waldo on the middle school kids pictures on Facebook. I'm telling you he pops up in the background at football games, pool parties, and movie night. I feel bad for him. He is a very quiet observer. He has probably learned way to much from them.
Ella has no problem getting right in the middle of the middle school kids craziness. They all love her. Blake's friend Ryan said the cutest thing about her. He said she just makes him smile every time he sees her. I feel the same way about her. I really like this group of boys. They spend a lot of time at my house. I think they are a really good group of kids. Of course once in a while they do something stupid. But that's why I'm here to scare the shit out of them when I find out.
Saturday we went to watch Cole play basketball. Ella refuses to take a nice picture with me. She squirms to get away from me. While writing this a commercial for Twilight comes on. The new one is released in stores February 11th. That is my bday if any one needs any ideas.
My friend Doug shows up at the basketball game. Ella goes right to him and even talks to him. Bullshit I say. Twisty and I have to break her of these bad habits she is forming. It's kind of funny that I was writing about Twisty being a germ freak. I just got a text from her. She is house sitting. She just told me that she brought a can of Lysol with her. Crazy!

Today is February 1st it is the first day of FebruKerry. My friend Doug named the month after me. I guess because my girlfriends and I made so many excuses to go out last FebruKerry for my bday. This year I want to skip right over it.

Hub's calls me from work today. He reads the blog once in a while. He hasn't read it lately. He is kind of mad at me. He thinks I'm sharing stories that are too personal. I know exactly what he is talking about when he says our kids are going to get bad reputations. Maybe I should talk more about all the great things they do. Oh wait that stuff is boring, who wants to read that besides Grandma. He then says, your getting a lot of readers a month. I say a lot of them I don't know. He says, how do you know? I say because I obsessively check feedjit. He's like whats feedjit? I explain and he is mortified when I tell him how some of the "googlers" get to my blog. Then he is like you need to be careful. Then he says what if someone comes after you. I'm like....like someone might stalk me because of my blog. I don't think so. He tells me there are crazy people everywhere. I say he is starting to sound like Debbie. Then he goes into this whole conversation about me leaving my car open the other night. He says someone can open the garage and come in and kill us. He is morphing into my mother before me eyes. I say if someone is coming to kill us their not going a politely let themselves in. Their going to break in, I'm sure that's part of the trill for those kind of sickos. Oh the joys of being married. We did just celebrate another year last week. Whoot, whoot

1 comment:

momma2two said...

You don't know me, but I am a fellow crazy mom of (only one) asshole, a little cutie girl, and a totally anal husband. i found you while looking for adoptive mommy blogs....after reading this i just had to comment. thanks for the hysterical laughs, and it's so good to know i'm not the only one who lives with lunatics!