Monday, May 9, 2011

I see dead birds

My brother Joe...aka...Lost got a job at little Caesar's being little Caesar. Let me just tell you the dude can entertain. Aidan and I went to pick him up from work. Aidan had to get in on the action for just a minute. Now my friend Ash who owns the Caesar's was kind enough to give lost a job. She will probably read this and have a heart attack that I let Aidan that close to the street with him. Not to mention what Mom...aka...Debbie will say. Me I just think this job kind of looks fun, besides the 90 degree weather. How fun to jump around and act like a complete fool and no one knows who you are. He is enjoying the job besides the one guy who flipped him the bird. Really, dude????? Are you that angry that you feel the need to flip off Caesar????




This weekend my friend Erin who lives one house away had a bunch of middle school girls at her house for the weekend. It's funny because Blake is the same age as her daughter and I'm the middle schools boys house. I see trouble in our future. Blake had about four boys over on this night. Erin and I who are on the same page decided her girls and my boys would not see each other this night. Neither one of us felt like playing chaperons. Now Aidan Blake's brother got to go over and hang with the girls. This made Blake very mad. Ask me if I care, I don't! So the girls and boys texted back and fourth for a while. Blake text Ari and asked why Aidan could be there and not him. She shows Erin the text. Erin's response which is classic to me is.....Aidan is not yet in puberty there for he can stay. Love that Erin. I know Erin and me are going to be friends a very long time. We did have to torcher Blake by sending him photos of his baby brother with the girls! I love that our evil minds think a like.




Wednesday night Joe...aka...lost wanted to get out of the house. We headed to the nutty brown for the free Wednesday night concert. While we were there I spotted my Recon guys. Back story on the recon guys is.......last year I spotted hot guys picking up the recycling in my hood. Every Wednesday I posted something about them on facebook. Alot of my friends got a laugh, some not so much. It became a little bit of a running joke on garbage day. Yes I just might be desperate housewife number one with a capital D but who's judging???? Oh wait, everybody. Anyway, I had to get a pic with my recon guys. They of course pointed out they are not your typical garbage guys they are in fact environmental specialist. I will go with that! So I could have birthed these babies.....who's judging??? Oh yes, everybody! Well not everyone. I will not name names but there are a few others on my hood who enjoy garbage day too.



Joe and I had a great time hanging out. For we are two peas in a pod.



Before we left that night we enjoyed some Chicago style pizza that Debbie sent with him. Oh how I love me some Chicago style pizza. Thank you Debbie! Lou malnati to be exact...I think you can get this on line. Totally worth it.




So anyway any of you who read this regularly know I have birthed some baby birds. Or I would like to think I have. Anyway, Thursday I headed to work and checked on my babies as always. They were all there. When I had come home from lunch they were all gone. Sad for me since I feel like the mama bird. One got trapped in a mouse trap in our garage. Hub's cut him out of the mouse trap and put him back in the nest. I watched him thinking a few times he was dying cause he didn't look real healthy. Hub's and Joe headed out to the nutty brown that night. I was all comfy watching shit TV when they came in. They told me the baby was stiff in the nest. I don't know why but I went out there cried like a baby.






Cole woke up in the am and ran out to see how the bird was doing. He said....I think this bird is dead. I told him we would have a bird funeral after school.
I found the perfect thing to keep him in.....an egg carton.



We were trying to decide where to bury bird. We thought we would bury him under the tree in the front yard. This is where the mommy used to stay. The ground was too hard under there. We decided to bury him in the landscape right by where his nest was.



It was only Cole and I at the bird funeral. These other people had no interest. I guess we are the heart and soul of these people we live with.



Cole make a little head stone. It read.....baby bird grabe, then he crossed out the b in grabe and put a V. It also said...died may 5, 2011. Then he wrote....I love bird....on the landscape stone in front of the grave. Later that night Cole was under our tree in the front yard. I asked him what he was doing and who he was talking to. He told me there was a bird in the tree. He was telling the bird where the baby bird was buried so he could visit him. Oh my gosh, I almost cried again.









Last night I was checking on all my sleeping chickens. I went into Blake's room. I saw a note on his night stand that was clearly from a girl. I thought to myself....that's his note none of my business. I always hated when Debbie would read my notes as a kid. If I was smart I would have read them and destroyed them so Debbie couldn't read them. She used to get alot of good info out of those notes. I couldn't help myself and I grabbed the note to read it. It said something about how she was so thankful he gave her his jacket to wear. I was wondering where his jacket went. Then it said she thinks she loves him. What LOVE???? What happened to the days of Do you like, like me?? He is the cutest boy in school and she can't wait to hang out all summer! I don't think so Sister!!!! The best part of the note was so typical middle school girl stuff. It said Please, please, please, write me a note back, tell me how you feel, and say something nice. WOW, reminds me of myself in middle school. Scary. It had a bunch of hearts and flowers drawn all over it. I'm not ready for this shit! Why can't I have the dorky kid that girls don't like???? I feel like I could puke in my mouth.












I have been doing ab exercises like a crazy person for like six weeks straight now. It's bullshit because I still have belly fat. I never had to workout before. Now that I am doing something I am fatter than I ever was. Something is wrong with this picture. Yesterday I ran to GNC to get a colon cleanse. I was talking to the guy telling him my problem. I figure I have to be loaded with shit or something. I just need to clean out that colon. He asks what I'm doing as far as exercise and diet. DIET????? Yada, Yada, Yada, I can't hear you! I tell the guy I think there is just ten ponds of shit stuck in my colon. Well at least that's what I was thinking. He sells me this Detox-LGC pill. It's supposed to cleanse you Colon, liver, and gallbladder. Then he tells my I will have to take a shot of this AIO stuff with it. This is a liquid cellular health drink. I swear there is a six pack hiding under this jelly roll.












I wake up the next day after dreaming about chicken tacos and cheese popcorn.....don't ask! I take the pill with warm water. Then I take a shot of this god awful tasting cellular drink. I start to get ready to go to my friends house when I get this wave a heat in my head. I look in the mirror and my face is red as shit and it feels like I'm in an oven. I start to panic. I'm thinking to myself....what if I die all from not wanting a little extra belly fat. How selfish that would be. What will my kids say??? Then my arms turn red and they feel like they are on fire. What to do???? Do I go to the hospital??? Am I having an allergic reaction???? Am I having a stroke??? Then I start to panic more and wonder if my throat is going to close up. I pace between mirrors checking my color and looking to see if my tongue is swelling. Debbie once sent me and E-mail that said if your tongue is swelling you could be having a stroke. My mind starts to mess with me and I think I may be short of breath. I decide to grab the bottles of both things I just took so I can google side effects. This could be bad if there is a bad side effect it's going to send me right over the edge. So the pills really have no awful side effects that I can find. While on the computer I'm breathing deep breaths as if I'm giving birth. I keep checking my face to see how hot it is. I get to the AIO side effects and it says may cause flushing and a heat sensation. This is because it has niacin in it. Phew, all that panic for nothing.



Anyway my final thoughts of the day. I wonder why I did three loads of laundry and only came out with four pairs of matching socks. I have nine socks with no match. I would love to see where these missing socks go. Maybe there is a secret sock island where they are turned into sock puppets. They probably dance and drink all day. I'm also wondering why these people I live with don't flush the toilet behind them. I'm sick of finding shit left behind. Just sitting here dreaming of my trailer in the backyard with my own TV, my own computer, my flushed toilet and I can find all my shit just fine. Once again sorry for mis spelling and bad grammar, I'm just to lazy to proof read.

1 comment:

Joe said...

If your brother is not making 6 figures being a poster boy for a pizza place he needs a new job. for the rest of your post, I am too drunk to remember what you wrote. Keep up the stories!