The golden jerk goes home

Tuesday was Cole's birthday. My brother and I make him a giant cookie cake to take to school.

Debbie, Grump, the golden jerk and I brought him sonic for lunch. While at sonic I showed them the sign I crashed into. They still have not fixed it.

He is so happy to see us. I was thinking back to Blake when he was ten. The next year was the year he no longer wanted me coming around the school. The wonder if Cole will feel that way next year. Sad, how fast the years go. Before I know it they will be asking for the car keys! Scary!

Once again the golden jerk is taunting me. Were out shopping for potential houses for the Grump and Debbie. When she's like......Hey Mom of the year, do you really think the Grump will move here when I live in Chicago??????? I want to go pull on one of those pigtails but I contain myself. I look at her and say........I can't hear you, I can't hear you, as I cover my ears. She looks at me rolls her eyes and said....Now who is the terrible two year old now?????? I look at her and say.....what time is that damn flight your on????

While the golden jerk was here my twisted sister called many times. She wanted to know if Ella was asking for her. I regretfully had to say NO! One day while on the phone with Twisty I asked Ella if she wanted to talk to her. She Said No, she not only said no she growled NOOOOOOOOO. I give her and A for drama. She may give Cole a run for his money. I put the twisted one on speaker thinking Ella just needs to hear her voice. All the sudden Ella starts running from the phone growling NOOOOOOOOOOO. I am chasing her laughing me ass off. I don't know why I take so much pleasure in this but I just do.

I'm watching the Oscars while writing this entry tonight. Aidan comes down and he is singing......"Another one bites the dust....dunn...dunnn...dunn.....another one bites the dust. I say where did you hear that song. He looks over at me with a very straight face and says.....I made it up. I look at him and say....you are such a liar. He just smirks and walks away. Cole is sitting here watching the Oscars with me. I have my hair pulled into a super high ponytail. I like to wear my hair like this at home. It makes me feel young. So Cole is like.....why do you have your hair like that???? I say....I like it. He says....can I pull it out. I'm like why. He says....I just feel like playing with a rubber band and I can't stop looking or thinking about yours. Weird, right????

It was getting close to the time for Ella to fly home. I found her crying. I said....what's the matter little girl???? She says....I just love it here in Austin. I really want to move here. Side note....my brother...aka...lost is also watching the Oscars with me. I'm telling him this story that I can not write in this blog. He puts his hands over his face and starts to laugh. Then he looks up and says....You and Kelly...aka...Twisty better watch yourselves.....You can be pretty disgusting. Now I can say some pretty discussing things that he does. I just won't go there. I do have a line ya know. I'm kind of wondering why Gwyneth Paltrow is poping up singing on all these award shows. Where the Hell is Katy Perry?????

So I finally sit down to tell Grump about my thing with Edward. I say...hey Grump I have been dating Edward Cullen. He looks at me and says......Ya know your old enough to be his Mother! He is a little young for you. I say........ not really remember he has been seventeen for a very long time. In my book that makes him older than me. I say....He really would like to meet you, officially. Grumps says...Alright, bring him in. I say could you be nice?? He is-he's important. So Grumps draws an invisible circle around his head, as to be a halo all the time rolling his eyes. I say turn around he's right behind you! YES, these people I live with have sent me off the deep end! Please don't judge!

So I had a very busy weekend. I hosted not one but two of my kids birthday parties. They were both sleepovers! So yes, my Friday and Saturday were spent with boys that never slow down or like to sleep and lots of them. I know what your thinking.....CRAZY! All I have to say is thank God it is over. In between parties I attended not one but three soccer games. Damn why can't these people be lazy like me????? I grocery shopped, pick up pizza's, made cupcakes, a cookie cake, Went to home depot, and pretty much pulled my hair out. Not to mention all the cussing I did in my head.

So I'm sitting here on a Sunday night. My head is swimming with thoughts. Sometimes I wish it had an off button. My house looks like a bomb went off in it. I don't feel like cleaning it or even looking at it. Lunches need to be made, backpacks need to be gone through, clothes need to be put out, clothes need to be taken out of the washer and dryer. My DVR is once again almost at capacity. I'm having one of those most annoying fat days. I hate those days! What is it about forty or now forty something. With this most annoying number comes belly fat and muffin top. I have once again fallen off my workout wagon and I can't seem to get back on it. Guilty once again, this is how I seem to live my life. SAD right????? Can't you just hear that little tiny violin playing in the background????? I started this blog to give to my kids someday lately is has become all about me. I guess since my life is consumed with with these people I live with, I need something where I am the "it girl".

So I find myself sitting here right after finishing the Oscars. I'm wondering what it might feel like to win an Oscar. I don't think it's in the cards for me. Then I think what if one of these people I live with win an Oscar???? My guess it would be Cole! I can just imagine him up on stage saying things like......I owe my Mother everything! She is the most beautiful best person I have ever known. She put her dreams aside so I could be the best person ever. I not only dedicate but I give Oscar to her! Now they pan in on me looking really good for my age and I have tear in my eye. Yes, the cardboard Vamp is seated next to me. Alright, wake up girl! If your thinking I'm drinking writing this, I'm not I'm stone cold sober. This is just the way my crazy mind works.

So the highlight of my weekend was going to home depot. I got this little filter for my shower head. It gets rid of all the bad stuff in your water. I blame this most annoying rash I have, my hair loss, and bad skin, on bad water! Fuck the age thing! Ignorance is bliss, right?????