Arlington Park race track

Every year my Mom's side of the family goes to Arlington park race track for the day. Here are all the girl cousins. Notice Kelly and me are the "the pale faces" in this group. The nice thing for Kelly and I is we look tall next to these two hot tan biatches.

This is my grumpy old guy. My sister seems to think she is his favorite. Truth be told I am the favorite one, partly because I cook so good. Kelly can barely cook mac&cheese. When it comes to the time where someone will have to take the old grump ass in he will definitely choose door number one. He knows he's going to get fed at my house.

See the hate in her eyes because she knows I am the "chosen one". She is just so bitter, I almost feel sorry for her. It's hard to be number 1 sometimes.

Here's my Aunt Sue. Sue is a terrific singer and everybody loves when she belts out with some made up song of hers. I will forever hear the sound of sweet Sue's voice singing "Jingle Bell Rock" at Christmas.

Blake loves hanging with my Aunt Maureen and cousin Steph. Maybe it's because they make him look tall. I really think it's because Aunt Maureen is the only one that will go on crazy roller coasters with him.

This is Aunt Dawn and Uncle Bobby. They have three boys like me so they can feel my pain. My Uncle Bobby is one of those guys that will be standing there talking to you and pull an unwrapped cookie out of his pocket and eat it. No one ever knows where he got these cookies from or how long they have been in his pocket. I don't know if he does this for shock value or if he is really that strange. Maybe he is just a victim of growing up with the Debbie Downer sisters. Every year he gets the kids a set of collectors coins. Aunt Dawn and Uncle Bobby have hearts of gold! I wouldn't trade this cookie monster freak for anything even though he sports a wife beater shirt on a daily basis.

While at the track I pick my horses according to the names I like. The first win I have is on a horse named Tiger. I picked this for two reasons. One being my Mom's dog was named Tiger. Two being my kids are the "Fighting Tigers" at their school. The odds are not with this guy. I place a two dollar bet and roll away with $75.00! I bet on a horse named Doug and one named Nina. I choose these because I'm friends with people with these names. I win on both! I win big on Doug because the odds are not with him. I think I'm starting to piss everyone off because I now turned into that obnoxious bragger girl. I'm not proud but it was to much fun. I walked away with 150 bucks!

Here is my super jealous sister again. This time she is mad because I'm so much hotter than her.

I sometimes feel sorry for her. It must be hard to be riding on my coattails all the time.

Did we really just pay eight dollars to dye this kids tongue blue?????

We all head back to my Mom's house after the track. This is the best dog in the world. I hate to say but this pisses my sister off too. She has two obnoxious dogs. My Dad likes my dog much better than hers! Like I said, sometimes it's hard to be me. My Mom didn't go to the track she was cooking and getting ready for all of us to come home. It takes my Mom twice as long as anyone else to get ready for a party. She gets side tracked all the time by little projects that could have waited till tomorrow or next year.

Here are most of the cousins. Oh wait, where's Kelly????? I think I may be the favorite cousin too. It's all about me ya know.

This big ass I don't know what the heck kind of bug this is bit me. It left a giant welt on the back of my leg for almost two weeks. A couple times I got slightly panicked about this bite. I kept checking it to see if it was sprouting any red lines. I heard if a bite sprouts red lines it could be poison. See what my Mom has done to me.

The Grumpy old guy looks pretty happy today. It must be because he got to go to the track with his favorite daughter. It could be the fact that he has knocked a few beers back though. He is a man of few words, you never know what's cooking in that brain of his. Since I am knee deep in post from my Chicago trip I will fill you in on a few things from my day.

While talking to Kelly on the phone she said the words "ABSO-FUCKIN-LUTELY". I have to say I like this made up word. I plan to steal this from her. I'm still number 1 though.

I planned on getting up and working out with my friend but I woke up with my "red wings". Having my red wings gives me an excuse to sit on my ass all day in front of the TV and get a get out of jail free card for several nights. Love those wings! For a while last year I started skipping months so I would have to pretend to have them. Since I started yoga it has thrown my system back in check.

Blake said he was missing a few things from his room. I pulled out the old handy dandy secret camera move on Cole and Aidan. Cole takes me right to his room and opens a drawer where the missing items are sitting. I notice there is a 20 dollar bill in there too. I ask him where he got the 20. He tells me hubby stopped at the bank and got it for him. Now I know hubby and he would never just stop to get him a twenty......he is a tight ass! I have to sneak a 20 out from the cash back button at the grocery store.

I call bullshit on him and tell him I am calling hubby to ask. I ask him if hubby really got him that 20. He very matter-o-factly replies NO! Turns out he took the 20 from Aidan.

While I'm putting the two little guys to bed tonight I tell them they better not get out of bed. Aidan asks me if his arm gets cut off can he get out of bed. I tell him HELL NO! Now go to bed.

All I have to say is if you can't poke fun at the people you love the most who can you poke fun at without getting your ass kicked????? I abso-fuckin-lutely love these people I have to call family. If my Grumpy old guy heard me talk this way I may not be the favorite, but remember grumpy guy I learned to talk this way from Kelly!