So they walk in and are faced with a dodge ball team. They look mean as hell. There are a few of these ballers that if I were Dez I would have wanted to trade for a few of the cheese balls. They get their asses handed to them by the ballers. Brooks pony tail probably didn't help.
Now they are going to "ball" each other. Mickey is cracking my ass up when he walks in. What a "baller". Brooks gets hurt right away. I think he may have been trying to adjust that pony and his finger got broke. The famous ambulance arrives. Wouldn't be a good season without one. I guess Brooks won't be doing any finger licking.
The Blue Balls take the win. On to the night date. First up we have Brian with yet another sad, sad, story. He puts on his best sad face for Dez. He's damn cute though. Just wondering if any of them care to ask if Dez has her own sad story. I find myself imagining him with his shirt off. His sad story??? I think I missed that one.
Chris seems to be getting a little sweaty over that nasty little single rose on the table. So he drags her on the roof top. Do you ever notice they all seem to say the same thing in their interviews season after season??? "After tonight my feeling are definitely changing" "We have a connection" Insert man creepy voice.
OMG, could Brooks be any more dramatic walking in holding his hurt finger in the air???? This is one Disney prince I might send riding off into the sunset.
And the roof top worked....Chris gets the rose!!!!!! They get a private concert in the park. Well not so private because the vultures are buzzing above.
Next Kasey awaits his one on one. I bet he says.."We have a connection" after. She walks in and asks to speak with Brian...dun, dun, dun....... Your screwed dude. She's totally setting him up for disaster. In walks Chris with a girl. He parades her past the guys for added drama. This is going to be good. Girlfriend right out of the gate is giving Brian the biz natch. Girl won't let anyone else talk. She doesn't even come up for air between tears and mad faces. He tries is best to defend himself. When that's not working he says..."She throws rocks at my head". As if anyone gives a shit at this point. She says..."Yes, I do". Girl should throw one at his nut sack. And he gets the boot. I see a rock imprint right between the eyes in his future. Boo bye!!!!!
Kasey your date is starting out as a buzz kill. Now the guys are all putting their two cents in about Brian. They should be wearing judges robes. That would be amusing. Brandon takes it a tad to far in his interview. Crying about it....... really?????? That's a red flag! Dude has some issues!!!!!!
Off to Kaseys one on one. He reminds me of a chipmunk. I don't even know why. I find myself wanting to wipe that smile off his face. Still smiling after dancing on the side of building! Another roof top date after that. Seems to be another buzz kill coming on. It's a little windy on that roof top. But he's still smiling. So do they get off the roof??? Nope they jump in the freezing pool. Kasey goes in for the big kiss. Guess what he smiles through the whole thing. It didn't look sexy at all. He does get a rose. And yes he is smiling from ear to ear.
Another group date! They go to a stunt ranch. They get dressed up in their best cowboy get ups. Fake fighting, lassoing, and getting time with DEZ. What more could they want. They all want time alone with DEZ or the camera. Dan's pants split. Just tells me there is a nice bubble ass under there! Jaun wins her heart and gets a badge....not a rose, a badge. As the guys point out! They get to watch a movie in some uncomfortable looking stick chair! They kiss........Looks way juicier than Kaseys. He didn't smile he kissed her passionately as Dez pointed out! I see rose colored glasses in his future.
That evening they sit around the fire in stick chairs. Weird right???? That shit can catch on fire. Bryden steals her away. They have a pretty hot kiss too. Wonder if he can taste Juan on her lips! Something is wrong with me tonight. I can't help wanting to see him with his shirt off.
Zak....Where is that shirtless wonder from night one????? He's so different from that first night. He seems nice. But guess what "He feels a connection" Your shocked right??? James and his sad story is sad. His poor Dad. Hope he's alright! He didn't get a kiss but he did get a rose. Zak feels defeated by this. Wait James goes in for the big kiss too.
Pool Party.......shrinkage. Ben steals her away in the car. I love how she never lets the guys drive it. Ben's tank top may be the stupidest thing I've seen all season. Wondering if he borrowed that from his baby Mama. Of course the guys see them pull back up. Mayor mc cheese lies to the guys about seeing her. Mikey and Michael G pony up on Ben about his lie! Because Ben totally gives a shit what they think.
Meanwhile Brandon....aka....CreepO, steals her away to tell her he is "IN LOVE" with her. He even says...."I know we barely talk". Come on.....Really?????? That song "Looking for love in all the wrong places" is playing in my head! He reminds me of one of those girls we have all known. The one who thinks their in love with anyone who looks their way. He does go in for a kiss, it is super strange looking. I see a solo limo ride in this guys future.
The rose ceremony is about to begin. Brandon says he feels more confident than ever. Oh boy, this should be good! Michael G is still talking about Ben....aka...mayor mc cheese! It's getting slightly creepy. I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were Ben.
The ceremony is the usual room of dazed and confused dudes. Some look like they could cry. Some look like their holding in farts. Others look like they are in pain. Dan is out and is bummed. Bummed because I don't ever remember him getting a kiss or any camera time. Who is Dan???? Has he been in a corner somewhere???? Like I guessed Brandon creeped her out with that "I'm in Love with you" . So he stands there as if he is watching a UFO float around the room. He is "Blown away". He says that at least three times. Says "His heart was smashed by a hammer because he was in love". Yep it's statements like these that landed him in the solo limo. He's out of tears!!!!!!!!!!! I guess he cried too much over Brian's infidelity. Boo bye!
Meanwhile Brandon....aka....CreepO, steals her away to tell her he is "IN LOVE" with her. He even says...."I know we barely talk". Come on.....Really?????? That song "Looking for love in all the wrong places" is playing in my head! He reminds me of one of those girls we have all known. The one who thinks their in love with anyone who looks their way. He does go in for a kiss, it is super strange looking. I see a solo limo ride in this guys future.
The rose ceremony is about to begin. Brandon says he feels more confident than ever. Oh boy, this should be good! Michael G is still talking about Ben....aka...mayor mc cheese! It's getting slightly creepy. I'd be sleeping with one eye open if I were Ben.
The ceremony is the usual room of dazed and confused dudes. Some look like they could cry. Some look like their holding in farts. Others look like they are in pain. Dan is out and is bummed. Bummed because I don't ever remember him getting a kiss or any camera time. Who is Dan???? Has he been in a corner somewhere???? Like I guessed Brandon creeped her out with that "I'm in Love with you" . So he stands there as if he is watching a UFO float around the room. He is "Blown away". He says that at least three times. Says "His heart was smashed by a hammer because he was in love". Yep it's statements like these that landed him in the solo limo. He's out of tears!!!!!!!!!!! I guess he cried too much over Brian's infidelity. Boo bye!
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