This trip was different. It was like I was tired. I spent a lot of time sitting around. Tired from my life , Really...games, practice, and driving. I just left all of it. Before I knew it the trip was over. I didn't spend time with people enough. I didn't even see friends I wanted to see. I feel awful about that. I kept thinking I had lots of time and all the sudden it was over. I came home to the nightmare of building a house. Nothing about this has gone smoothly. We are way behind on this project. Because we contracted this house when the housing market was in a slump last year has done us wrong. When you do a construction loan, you do it at the time you start to build. This was last October for us. So they bid the job before you get the loan. The housing market out here skyrocketed right after we bid everything. So now we have crews walking off the job because they can make 30 percent more on other jobs. So our house looks like an abandoned ship at this point. Our builder doesn't want to lose money on this deal either. I get it. But we were supposed to be in the house now. We don't even have a roof at this point. It's frustrating as hell. Half my stuff is in storage. I never thought we would be in a rental this long. I just want to feel settled at this point. I have never been able to get comfortable here. Half my shit is gone and plus I know I'm leaving this place. I don't want you to think I'm bitching too much. I do get that I'm blessed to be able to build my dream house. It's just not been a smooth road. I know in the long run it will be great. If I'm not divorced in the end. building a home is a true test of what your marriage can handle. It's my last build for sure. He says Black I say white........oh my!
So my Dad left this week. It was hard to say goodbye. I dropped him at the airport after a camping trip he went on with us before he left. He kinda said he hates camping. I love that he did something he hated to make us happy. My kids will remember a great trip. We spent 19 hours in the car to Chicago and 19 hours back together. I wouldn't trade those hours for a million dollars. They mean more to me than he will ever know. I cried all the way home from the airport. It was so hard to say goodbye. I almost wish I could reverse and be a kid with no worries in his house again. I would get everything my parents tried to tell me so much more. I love being with him and and my family. I keep trying to school my kids about this. I keep trying to tell my oldest to be a kid and not try to grow up to fast. Is he hearing me???? No way!!!! He thinks he knows it all....as did I. Someday they will miss this as crazy as it can be. My oldest left Chicago early for football. He left and never called or text me. I finally called him. I asked him are you going to go to college and never call me again like you were never my kid. He laughed and said "no"! I don't know though. I think boys are different. They are not emotional like girls. This is why I'm upset I never had a girl. There will be no shopping and lunches. No late night phone calls! I will have to depend on daughter in laws! That kinda makes my want to puke.
1 comment:
As a guy (older than you), who's close to both my son and my mom, let me give you a bit of advice - especially about Blake. Give him room. Don't push. Text him to say hi, even call him occasionally, but give him space. That's especially true right now, but even at my age, the worst thing my mom can do is just keep harassing me - it just pushes us away. I know that seems to be hard to do, but it's what some guys need. (Also, don't call him your baby).
By the way - glad you're back, I've missed reading about your crazy life.
chuck99
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