Do birds have penises?????

First I need to start by saying lasts nights blog was a cluster fuck. Note to self......DO NOT BLOG WITH A BUZZ! It's a buzz kill in the morning for sure. I just sounded like a typical whiny drunk girl repeating herself. The Bachelorette messed me up. I was so broken hearted for her I decided to drink to help ease the pain. That Disney prince turned into an evil warlock. If we lived in a Disney movie kind of world I would banish him to the nasty forest. Ya know the kind that the witches seem to live in on the movies. No greenery, all black, gray, and dark. I wish I was computer savvy I would totally insert in an evil witch laugh sound.

While in Chicago I hung out most with my sister.....aka...Twisty. I call her that for a reason I swear. I have a few twisted stories to tell about her. I think my favorite was the bird story. Kelly is a huge animal lover. She works in a vets office. Pet sits, rescues half dead animals, and apparently does inappropriate things with birds! I got your attention didn't I. Oh yes totally insert an evil laugh.

So we were having our annual Kane family BBQ at my Mom and Dads. Kelly brought one of the birds over from the Vets office. We all had a great time playing with this bird. Not as good as Twisty though.  I don't even remember what we were talking about or why this subject came up. All the sudden Twisty says...."The bird humps my arm sometimes". We all kind of look at her strange. She then says..."I feel bad that it's in the cage all day so I let him". She says.."It's probably the only joy the bird gets". My Uncle Tommy....looks at her like she's nuts and says..."Kelly, that's weird". She says..."I feel bad for it though". I ask "does it ejaculate?".  Because really I had no idea a bird did that. She says "Yes, and when it does it spreads its wings really big". BLAAAA, HAAAAA,  HAAAAAAAA. I'm rolling at this point. Or maybe peeing my pants.  We all think that is weird as hell. She doesn't see a problem with this at all!!!!!!! So I keep asking questions. You can imagine how my Dad, a mild mannered Grumps who never says anything remotely inappropriate is feeling. Don't think I didn't walk around spreading my wings Kawwww, Kawwwing at her!!!!! I think at one point Grumps said..."Enough all ready".

So tonight after my cluster fuck post last night I was trying to think of something funny to blog about! This is what I got. I did "google" "Do birds have penises" right before I started to write. Most birds do not have penises.....in case your wondering. They have a lump called a cloaca. While I'm on this site Hubs walks by. He says..."Is there a reason your pulling up shit about bird penises??". I say..."Well Kelly lets this bird ejaculate on her arm". He says..."Stop right there, I have heard enough!!!!!!!". While writing this I decide I'm going to text the twisted one. It said one word...."CLOACA". My guess is right now she is "googling" it. Just got a text back from her! It says...."Cloaca...HUH?????". I text back "Kelly with one of those heart icons Cloaca". Usually she has a quicker response when I text her strange things! Maybe she is busy getting her bird on!!!!!!!!