Sunday, December 15, 2013


Do you ever just question every thing in your life???? Scared about everything. Did you do right by your kids? Are you raising them right? When they are little it's easy. Even if you feel like a crazy zombie. But they are safe. You just have to get through the day keeping them alive and feed them. But then they turn into teenagers. They try to grow up too fast. This parenting thing is hard. So I used to lay in my bed as a young lady imagining myself married with perfect kids. I couldn't have never imagined all the hard stuff that came along with that. I should have been imagining my self as "LuLu", the girl living down town in a loft with fabulous boots! I'm just kidding but it's a nice fantasy when my kids are making me want to scratch my eyes out.

So here are my crazy thoughts tonight. Island comes to mind. I kinda of wish I could freeze time. I would be the only one on this island for a while. Everyone else would be frozen. I would think…cause I over think. I need time to really think…re think if you will. On my island I think about my "Santa" days. My kids perfectly dressed sitting on Santa's lap! Oh my how I miss those days. How I think it's bullshit that those days have come and gone. I would work out on this island….because I'm not sure what happened. All I know is I can't get it under control even though I know what to do. My friends warned me that cheeseburgers really did hit your thighs…who knew??? I hate them for being right.  So I would pretty much get it back together on this island. I need about six months if the universe is listening……In a perfect world right???? How frickin great is my fantasy???? But we are in fact in reality.

So Xmas is a week away. I have not shopped… kids need nothing! I'm supposed to move in less than a week. I have packed nothing. Am I stressed, freaked out, overwhelmed???? Um yes! Sister wife comes to mind! Have I done laundry, got the kids school notes taken care of, checked sky word, cleaned behind them, gone to an Xmas party, taken them to see lights, Feed them, gotten them ready for school, cooked baked goods(I kind of suck at that), and did two photo shoots…. But I'm here trying to wrap my head around getting it together. OMG, too tired to proof read…story of my life… is what u get! So sorry! And yes I feel pressure and I'm overwhelmed…send help fast! I'm not afraid to ask for it!

P.S. Taye Diggs might be on my island!

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