It's the most wonderful time of the year????? Really?????

 It's the most wonderful time of the year is what I've been trying to sing in my head…..But "Bullshit" usually follows it! It really is if your a kid brainwashed by the fantasy of a jolly old fat guy in red suit coming down your chimney to drop off gifts. Oh my how life was such a fantasy in those days. I think my favorite year was when Santa brought me the barbie dream house! Who knew your parents were just lying to you. Everything is downhill after you find out the jolly old red suit guy is BS! You get a little joy again after you have kids and get to live the fantasy through them. But now my fantasy is over and it's become BS! Are you saying…."Baah, humbug"???? I do sound like a bit of a downer about now. But I'm having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. I guess it's because I can't set up for Christmas since I'm moving three days before Christmas. Maybe it's because my kids no longer believe in Santa. They have sucked the fun right out of the holiday. The fact that they on line shop for shit they should not know exists is a thorn in my side. Maybe it's because I'm jealous of all the "elf" fun my friends with younger kids are having. I'm sick of looking at Facebook pics of "elves" doing stupid shit. I want to comment "barf" on everyone. I'm kind of being a jerk. I would have had so much fun with a naughty elf. Now mine would be at the bottom of beer bottle. That damn shit came out after my kids were "elf" age. I'm not angry! The only thing I'm angry about is that I didn't come up with this brilliant elf shit! I would be shitting elf money if that were the case!

So I find myself driving home from work mad that I'm the only house without lights or decorations. Last year after Xmas I bought everything up on clearance for this Xmas. Because I was supposed to be pretty settled in our/my dream house. But that's a whole other bitch fest! All that shit is in boxes. Baah, humbug". I feel like the Grinch. Imagining taking everyone's lights down, stealing their trees, stockings, and telling their kids there is no fat ass jolly guy. I just took this too far! I am kidding in a way. Something happened this week that brought me right back down to reality. A close friend of mine is going through something way bigger than my baah, humbug, bad attitude. And now I'm felling guilty for being such an asshole. It reminds me that my problems are nothing compared to what's going on in other people's homes. So my hat is off to this family and my prayers are for them today.

So here is my new plan. I'm thankful for the fact that I'm getting a dream home and have a healthy family. Even if they make me want to scratch my eyeballs out a lot. I will look forward to the day I have grandchildren and can live through their fantasy of Christmas. I will be the annoying Grandparent fighting the other Grandparents for time with the kids. I will insist on staying over Xmas night to do Santa. My daughter in laws are going to hate me.  I will also look forward to seeing my kids deal with their own kids, insert evil laugh! At that time they will understand all my love and frustrations! I will also move into our/my dream home and set up Christmas before I unpack anything. It will look like Christmas exploded in that place. I will keep that shit up for as long as I please too. And I will enjoy the shit out of it! I'm saying sorry right now to my neighbors who will see lights and Xmas trees till FebuKerry! I might even get me one of those most annoying elves and make it do naughty things at night for my pleasure. And yes I will elf ourselves on that funny dancing elf site. To all you peeps with young ones out there….enjoy Xmas when your kids are young….this shit goes way too fast! When it's over it's not that fun anymore. I would totally give Hubs left nut for a kid that believed right now!

On a brighter note! I had no idea if you dipped a cotton ball in water it would stick! My wheels are turning and I have a certain "One upper" in mind about now!!!! Doing this to a certain someone might just bring back my Xmas joy!!!