He thinks he can fly, and he can.

 From the time this kid could talk he worried about everything. And I mean everything. I feel bad like he didn't enjoy his youth being worried all the the time. I watched him hold back on a lot of things...sleepovers, rollercoasters, and life if I can speak from the heart. He was my last and my hardest from the start. His brothers were carefree not a worry in the world. That would prove to a problem later. I wanted him to not have a worry in the world while he was young. I cried so many times over how stressed out he always was. One time his third grade teacher called me because he couldn't breath during a test. I cried on the phone with him. And he said let me tell you he is a great student no reason to cry. He told me he almost never sees a child like Aidan that cares so much that it drives them crazy. He told me to hold on because this kid will do great things when it's his time. I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. It was a glimmer of hope when I was at my wits end with him. Eventually after many tearful mornings dropping him off at school he found his way.

 So he thinks he can fly...and he can. The dedication this kid pours into his sport amazes me. He literally works out everyday in our hot garage. He watches youtube videos of all the great pole vaulters. Last school year a kid stole his track shoes. He found out who it was and called him out. The shoes were returned full of the kids piss. I'm not kidding. So he took them home and I cleaned them up. While I was cleaning them I saw something. It was a date written on them. It was the date my husbands brother passed too young. I asked him why he wrote that date on his shoes. He told me he jumps for Jeff. OMG, this took me by surprise. Yes I knew he was sad about this but I had no idea it was this deep. It was a proud moment to say the least. Because the young are not always effected this way. They tend to blow these feelings off.

So he wanted to get on this club team. Because he wants to be the best he can be. I work a lot lately to put these kids through college. Ugh I enjoyed so much more being a stay at home mom. A whole other story...LOL So today on my day off..I don't get many...my decision. We drove two and a half hours to vault. We laughed all the way to this meet. Until we got pulled over..I will get that. He said "mama do you realize you yell cow every time you see one". I said "I love cows"! He says " when you pass I'm going to say you yelled cows every time you saw one and almost killed us trying to look at them". My sister can back his story. I do crazy love cows especially the babies. I should have been a farmer. Anyway we talked on the way about drugs and sex. I was putting my two sense in about is. Not pretty to say the least . Hard conversation when your kids are teens.  You need to talk about it when you can. He was rolling his eyes at me. We stopped at Buc-ees best place ever! Don't even know if I spelled it right. But I enjoyed the ride with him. Got pulled over, twenty miles over....big ticket. The guy was from Dripping. Thank God. I told him we were from Drip. Aidan said I got out of it because I'm cute......he laughed because he was lying, it's because the guy grew up in dripping.....not because I'm cute buzz kill really.  Kid can also be a BS'er.

We got there and he got grouped with the elite vaulters. So he was stressed since most were seniors. Like I said a worry wort. At first I thought he would no height. And we just drove a long way. Not because he couldn't do it but because it got in his head. But he held his own. He was in the group with all kids older than him. He did amazing coming in sixth place. Almost got 14 feet. Most of the kids he went up against have college offers. I'm so proud of him. I know this kid will do anything it takes to vault college level. He surprises me and impresses me daily.

So on our way home he was disappointed he didn't vault 14 feet. He got 13'6. He vaulted 14 at his practice. So the conversation on the way home was disappointment. But the thing that got me the most was when he said "Are you ready for this"? I said "what"? He said "Are you ready for me to be your focus and put me first in all these meets and travel with me so I can do better"? "Ugh yes I am". But what I didn't get is that I had put so much in his older brothers football that he felt left behind. Yes I'm here to watch you fly and you will. Last one we are tired but damn they matter too. I will be there to watch you fly my love!

And OMG, I ramble not writer and bad grammar it is what it is..... don't judge