Oh the Joy of the holidays!

Oh, the joy of the holidays!!!!! Christmas shopping, Christmas baking, and Christmas music! My Mom...aka...positive Patty was here the last couple of days doing Xmas with us. Before she left today she baked a few dozen chocolate chip cookies and a few dozen spice cookies. God love her, I hate to bake. After I dropped her off at the airport I decided to go to Walmart to get some more baking supplies. I always wonder where the people in Walmart come from. I never see people like this anywhere but there. I could spend hours people watching. Anyway you ever hear that saying about your eyes being bigger than your stomach? Well in this case my brain was thinking bigger than my slacker ass true self. I came home with a ton of stuff to bake with. Carmel crunch bars, peppermint bark, oatmeal cookie stuff, peanut butter ball stuff, chocolate mint cookie stuff, sugar cookie, chocolate pretzel stuff, and so on! I'm baking to give homemade gifts to the middle school teachers and a few others. I CAN'T BAKE....I NEED TO GET THAT THROUGH MY HEAD!
So a few hours later I find myself frustrated as hell, covered in chocolate, powdered sugar, and God knows everything else I have cooked with. Cussing like a sailor the whole night. I determined that I can't melt chocolate successfully. I also realize baking is for the birds! So now I find myself knee deep in half ass done baked goods. I have that brain that is all over the map. I'm trying to do twenty things at once not getting anything accomplished. Kind of feel like a bee pollinating flowers. All this stuff looked great in my head....didn't really turn out the way I pictured it. My kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it and I have no desire to clean it. I finished the carmel crunch bars. They taste good but were a sticky ass mess to make. I finish the peppermint bark...ruined a few chocolates trying to melt, but finally got it half ass looking. The peanut butter balls were a huge mistake but I got half way through them. After that I gave up. Screw all the other ten things I had in my head! So I'm standing there in the kitchen that looks like a bomb went off covered in all the shit I cooked. Hub's comes around the corner. I say......Just call me Betty Crocker. He looks at me shakes his head and says.....more like boodie cracker. Being anal boy he asks......Are you going to get this kitchen back to normal???? I say....I thought I would just leave it for the Xmas elves to clean. So for a while I sit checking E-mails while looking over into the bomb of a kitchen wishing I had personal assistant or a wife!

I ask Hub's to get the kids in bed while I clean. After a bit Cole comes down. Hub's is yelling at him to go back upstairs. He is ruffling through a school supply cabinet pulling a bunch of crap out. He looks and Hub's and says......I'm getting school supplies for kids in other countries to help them....I think this is more important than bed. Hub's and me look at each other and laugh....this kid is such a drama queen. So Hub's looks at him and says.....That's awesome but you should help kids in other countries between the hours of 3 through 8:30. Cole goes up the stairs mumbling.....I can't believe I got in trouble for trying to help....this is crap! Truth be told his school is gathering school supplies and stuff for the Bastop people who lost their houses in fires. I think they want you to bring in new school supplies not ones that say....CAVENDER. I think the Bastop people will be getting some baking supplies from the Cavenders!

So a little while later the kitchen is still a mess. I go in my bathroom to get my makeup off and wash my face. I pee first. Hub's is in there getting ready for bed. I come out of the potty and turn on the water. Hub's looks at me and says....did you forget something. I say...I don't think so. He says....you didn't flush. I say....So it was only pee. He says...that is gross! I say...I'm trying to go green...save water.....and I can think of a lot grosser things than that! He says...GREEN......ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Then he is like be GREEN and turn off lights, shut doors, turn down the heat, and don't buy hundred dollars worth of baking supplies you will never use. He then says something that is still cracking my ass up. He says.....It is less than ten cents to flush a toilet and that is money well spent. I almost choke on my toothpaste. I spit and say......How the Hell would you know that????? I shit you not he says he calculated it one time! I call BULLSHIT! What a know it all. So I start to wash my face while I listen to this nonsense. If he knew me at all the last half of my life he has been with me he would know! Every night I pee, don't flush because right after I brush my teeth and wash my face I pee again from the sound of the water! I flush after that!

After that Hub's goes to bed and I go back to the dreaded kitchen. I kind of want to scream like a two year old.....fall down and kick my legs and arms! So I Facebook for a few while glancing at the kitchen. I finally get up to clean this mess. I have visions of throwing my kitchen aide mix maker into the Grand Canyon! I put together a nice basket of bake goods for the middle school teachers lounge and the Coaches room. They will have no idea what a cluster fuck this really was. End result is what counts....little do they know they were supposed to get about five more treats! After this I start to move all the crap I didn't use to the pantry! I think I need Martha Stewart to come visit me for a weekend and put all this stuff to use for me. I get 500 things into to the dishwasher and wipe down the kitchen counter tops again. If I had a dime for every time I wipe them down I would have money for botox.
So Mom came in Saturday night! She came bearing gifts of Fannie May candies, Garrets popcorn, and Stollen bread! This muffin top is here to stay as long as she keeps coming. She is an enabler for sure! The kids can't wait to see her. They want to open their Xmas gifts right away. I did her shopping for her. So I let her give them some of their number one gifts. She is a hero for sure! We have a great time opening everything. Hub's has a fabulous time putting together the soccer goal for four hours the next day. I sleep through most of this. This soccer goal is something the kids crazy wanted.........me too! For me it means hours of entertainment out of this house. We all fight over the Garrets popcorn......anyone from Chicago knows why!
So any who, we decide to go see some Xmas lights Sunday night. I saw on Facebook the the wild flower center was having something Sunday night. We head out there. Thinking it's going to be great. Not so much kind of over rated. The important thing is we spent time together as a family. The two little guys didn't want to go with us. We were almost out of the driveway when they came running. Hub's told them if they didn't go they were going to bed! Thank you very much Hub's! They should have stayed home. They were annoying in the car and I found myself chasing Cole through a crowd at the place trying to give him a swat for bad behavior.

After we get done with the not so great light show we drop the little guys off at the house. We are going to go look at more lights around the neighborhood. Which is code for......we are going to drive around while Hub's deals with bedtime. We are not far from the house when I hear this firecracker sound I look over and my 14 year old has his ass between my Mom and me and is blowing farts. Now Mom aka...positive Patty comes from the......we don't fart, we pass gas family! These were clearly farts, there was no passing them off as passing gas. So I'm trying my hardest to act like a grown-up and yell at Blake about how rude and immature that was. I can't help but laugh my ass off while trying to scold him. Farts are funny and that was kind of funny as well as a little trailer at the same time. My Mom takes over and tells Blake that her husband his Grandpa has never farted in front of her. He can't believe this. She swears that he has only slipped one out once or twice in their 40 plus years together. Me I'm thinking my Dad...aka....Grumps would seriously be disgusted by Blake's bad behavior. Blake is surprised by this. He then tells my Mom that her daughter meaning me farts all the time in front everyone in the house. My Mom says......I never heard her fart. He is like.....She does it all the time and it happens a lot over the last few years. So much for family secrets......jeez! Now Patty would have never acted so childish she must be so proud of me right about now. I really have the urge to sucker punch Blake about now.

We had a great visit with my Mom but it went really fast. I don't know why but it seems like Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Xmas are all flying by lighting fast this year! Sucks getting old.....all that shit mama told you turns out to be true!

Favorite Feedjit's of the week........Feedjit is what people are "googling" when landing on my blog.

Number one........."These people are in my head and they won't stop talking to me!!!!!!" I feel your pain google reader! These people are in my head too!!!!!! They won't shut up either!!!!! Beer does wonders to shut those suckers up!

Number two......"Tired of cleaning up other people's shit" I'm tired of that shit too! I don't even like to clean up my own shit! I feel so connected to my google readers this week.

A day in Chicago

It's been a few days since my last entry. I haven't been feeling it if you know what I mean. I have been down about my Grandma and just haven't really felt like writing.

After Grandma's funeral we stayed an extra day in Chicago. My twisted sister had the idea for all of us to head downtown. Me I would have been fine in the warm house watching TV. I'm not used to that cold weather anymore.

Of course we come from the family of ass dragers so we don't get going till after noon. A morning gal I will NEVER be and I'm alright with that.

This is little jerk that stole the Grump from me. I think I will write a children's book about her and title it.....The Grinch who stole my Grumps. He doesn't even know I'm in the room when she is around. I'm not used to being ignored for God's sake. He's always talking to her and trying to get her attention. I could say....hey Grump I'm leaving these people I live with to run off with my Vampire and he would say "that's nice". Bullshit I say! If she wasn't so damn cute I would totally take her down. I will get you back someday Grump and I bet it's when she hits the terrible twos. Grumps has zero tolerance for bad babies. That is how he got his nickname.

Here's another one blinded by the little jerks charm. Cole is like the baby whisper. Kids love him and he is so good with them. I bet he will make a great Father some day. SIDE NOTE.....I'm writing my blog right now and Hub's is watching Pearl Harbor for the 500th time I shit you not! So I'm sitting here and I can pretty much quote the movie word for word and I'm not even looking at the TV. I'm sick of him hogging my TV, especially when he is watching the same shit over and over. Now Aidan is in my face telling me I would get into a lot of trouble if I were in school. I say why??? He says because you are typing with one hand. I tell him that's how I roll and to take a hike.

Were finally ready to roll downtown. Mom....aka...Debbie Downer does her normal ritual before we leave the house. She drags her ass upstairs while we all wait ready to go. She checks and double checks to make sure the doors and windows are locked. She asks Grumps a few silly questions. She gets out a big ass box of gloves and hats so the kids can have a fashion show while trying to decide on one. You think she would have learned by now hand them a hat and a pair of gloves and be on your way. Oh wait she has more hats upstairs so she goes to get those as well. I guess the twenty hats on the table were not enough to pick from. We are finally all suited up and she has to use the restroom now! I just laugh as Grumps rolls his eyes.....for this is the story of his life.

We drive to the L train to go downtown. Grumps and Debbie are like the blind leading the blind trying to figure out the ticket situation. They have to call the L lady over for help. They look like total tourist. No one would ever believe that they both grew up in the city.

Aidan says....We don't see our breath where we come from! Thank God for small things. All you Cub fan readers who are criticizing his Sox hat right now.....you can Suck it! Grumps is the only one in his big family who is a Sox fan. We are trying to win him back from the little jerk by making him happy with our Sox apparel. The little Jerks Dad is a huge Cubs fan so she will never sport anything that says SOX. One point for the Cavender clan on that one.

We get downtown and we go to see the giant tree at Macy's. This to me will always be the giant tree at Marshal Fields because that's what it was when I was a kid. I used to go downtown with my Mom and her Mom to see Santa and eat under the tree. I remember thinking this tree was so giant and beautiful. It still is giant and beautiful. It brings back many memories for me. For this is when I learned to shop like a rock star with Debbie.

Of course we have to see Santa. Believe it or not we got right in! NO line, I can't believe it. I remember being a kid and waiting in the long Santa line for EVER.....What has happened???

The boys always love shopping with Debbie because she loves to buy shit and always cracks under pressure. They know they are going to break her down and go home with some useless crap. Now me as much as I like to shop, I also like a deal. I rarely pay full price for anything. Debbie is another animal she likes to pay full price because she says she knows quality then.

We go to eat under the tree at Macy's. No Line! I remember waiting forever to eat at that restaurant as a kid. Maybe it's because it's Tuesday. They have this girl dressed up as a princess going to the table sprinkling the kids with magic dust. I look over at twisted sister and say she looks anorexic. Twisted Sister says to me she looks like a ghost because she is not only skeleton like but she is also white as a dead person. The little Jerk looks at her and offers her the roll she's eating and says eat bitch please. Now this is in no way making fun of people with eating disorders...just sayin.

Cole just loves Grumps.....I really don't know why! I guess he doesn't get that we have all become shit since little jerk arrived.

Check out the girl behind us.......her hand looks odd.

We ask the waitress to get a picture of all of us under the tree. Here we are but I really don't see the tree in the background.

The baby whisper helps Ella get bundled up for the super cold weather in Chicago. Notice there are smurfs in the background. Note to self....hold on to your shit everything seems to resurface some day. I may get rich off something. There are many things I wish I had held on to.

I love this picture. The tree was amazing. I'm so glad the twisted one talked me into going downtown instead of TV. Side note Hub's is still watching Pearl Harbor......as if he is in the theater. I want to yell turn that shit down I can't concentrate. I totally blame any bad grammar, run on sentences, and to and too puck ups on him tonight.

We head out of Macy's to the cold as shit streets of Chicago. It is a beautiful city, especially at Christmas.

We are checking out the Macy's windows. Now I'm a bit disappointed they are not as elaborate as they used to be. Bad economy...Puck u! The twisted one of course has to act like she's picking poor Virginia's nose. I see therapy in her future. Maybe we could get a family rate.

Now of course I need to get in on the action. I think I will put bunny ears over Virginia's head. As you can see the twisted one did not direct me correctly. I did a much better job directing her nose picking picture.

We head over to the Kris Kringle market downtown to do some shopping. Poor Ella is cold as shit.

For Gods Sake, even the pigeons are cold in Chicago. We really do laugh our asses off over the pigeons warming their feathers downtown.

This is the famous "BEAN" that reflects the city.

This is the beautiful tree at the Kris Kringle market. LOL, just googled "Kris Kringle" to make sure I was spelling it right.

While at the Kris Kringle market the twisted one got this cow hat. I see this as a cry for help. She might as well have a giant sign over her head that says.....LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME! She is a bit of an attention whore. BTW, she learned everything from me. Though I would not sport a cow hat in fear that someone would say MOO! I think I might crumble.

AWWWWW, ice skating downtown, never did it but it looks like a lot of fun.

The city is just beautiful but cold as shit! So ready to get back to 80 degree weather in Austin.

While visiting the BEAN we come across this. Ellen, Ellen DeGeneres that is, is filming the worst X-mas sweater ever show. In my perfect world I would be the next Ellen minus the lesbian, I would be the Ellen with the half dead billionaire with the hootie on the side...just sayin! Twister sister and me run to see what all the excitement is about. Now I'm a HUGE Ellen fan. Twisted sister and I went as Ellen and Porsha for Halloween. We so wish we would have known this was going on because we would have won this shit! Anywho we watch and laugh. There were some great BAD X-mas outfits. This goes back to me sayin hold on to your shit! I supported some God awful X-mas sweaters in my day.

Now Twisty and me can spot a hottie a mile away. She looks at me and says....look at that guy! I say yeah I already have spotted him. She says get a picture. I say already got it. Sad thing is he looks GAY! Damn it all the super hot ones are GAY.

Look at the little jerk trying to get that "hey look at me hat". I really might take her down. Cute and all I'm just plain fed up. Give us a little you little jerk!

Ok so the little jerk is so amazingly beautiful, I will give her that! I can't stop taking pictures of her.

Damn it, if she can't sport some X-mas PJ's like a rock star.

The day we are getting to leave Chicago it is snowing, The little guys are super excited since they rarely see snow.

This is the picture we took as we were getting in the car ready to go to the airport. SNOW....Awww glad I'm leaving it...them not so much.

Thoughts of my day..........Thinking I'm going to go on Craig's list tommorow and look for a pop up camper. I will park it in the backyard with a TV and a Laptop and live happily ever after. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I'm to tired to proof read.....I blame Hub's anyway! I was on FB today which to me has become pretty boring, I was tempted to comment GAG on a few peoples status updates, but then I realized I'm feeling like a downer because of Grandma and I should not be an asshole because of it!

Will this ever end???

I feel like we should have a boom box in front of the house that repeats DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. I can't believe this funk of the stomach bug is still running my house. When will it end. I'm beginning to feel like a trapped rat. Does this funk know that all the Halloween stuff is on sale in the stores??? I'm totally missing out. I did get all my Halloween decorations put up today. The witch and the warlock scared the shit out of me more than once. They were placed in the entry way waiting for Hub's to get home and take them to the attic. I may have screamed the first time I caught them out of the corner of my eye. Bet I looked like a real asshole.

While cleaning up the decorations we place the GIANT spider over sleeping sick Aidy. We are a little on the evil side in this house sometimes. We wait a few minutes to see what his reaction will be.

We give Aidan a little tickle on the cheek and run away. We are hoping to get a funny reaction when he wakes up to discover the spider. Not so much, he just looks at it and goes back to sleep. I kind of feel guilty when he wakes up ten minutes later to up chuck in the bucket. After he is done up chucking Cole walks over and is looking in the bucket. I ask......... why would you want to look at that?????? His response.........I want to see what he ate today. Seriously????? That must be a total boy thing!

Blake has turned into that kid I have to tell to do things ten times. When did this happen???? I'm feeling like such a failure lately. Somewhere I have gone terribly wrong raising these people. This is not a cry for help people, just a little vent! I wouldn't dare do or say the things that my kids do and say to my parents. When I was a kid when it was time to go to bed you went to bed. You didn't dare say "not yet" or come down ten times asking for stuff. I wouldn't dare tell my Mom or Dad NO, at least not till high school. Geez, I just scared myself with the thought of them in high school. I see a padded room in my future. If you didn't like the taste of your dinner you ate it anyway. I only thought in my head I had the worst Mother ever. I never voiced that opinion to her face. It's to bad it is no longer legal to kick their asses. Maybe that's the problem with kids these days! I may just need to pull out a can of whoop ass on them.

Because Cole has missed two days of school he has even more homework than usual. Doing homework with this particular child is the equivalent to having the life sucked out of you. We always end up in a fight. I don't know if other parents feel this way or if I am just an asshole that shouldn't be a parent. I have actually been brought too tears doing homework with him. I'm not proud but I have lost my temper on more than one occasion as well. It shouldn't be this hard! Hell these kids are in school for seven hours already. We have too find time for fighting over homework in between playing, having a snack, practices, dinner, showers, and sometimes TV. I would love to take the easy way out and hire some college kid to come over and do homework with my kids. Since I don't have unlimited funds YET that just ain't going to happen. During homework some threats usually get exchanged. Hub's and I sometimes end up in fights over doing homework with the kids. I usually have to sit with Cole the whole time. He fidgets, talks to himself, sings, looks around, pets the dog, yells "I don't get this", and pretty much drives me to the brink of insanity. I sound like a total lazy ass about now! It's just not my favorite part of the day.

I can't believe this bug is still going strong. Poor baby! Though I have been nursing kids back to health since Friday now. I'm not one of those crazed Mom's that say I want to take this sickness from you. Don't get me wrong I'm sad that they got it and I feel real bad for them. But good God I don't want this shitz! How old do they got to be before you could send them to the room to be sick alone and take take of themselves?????? Please God I really would like this one to pass me by!

A few re-caps of my day. Not yet getting the flu I found myself singing that Elton John song "I'm still standing" in my head. I find that facebook has become pretty boring. What happened to all the crazy up dates people used to post???? Though I did see one funny thing where someone posted they were single and their x hit the "like" button. He then posted a bunch of break up songs. Though I am sad for the break-up that was just a little amusing. I learned never comment on a middle school girls post. You will in turn get 50 E-mails of all her friends comments. Most important I learned just when you think you are an invisible housewife someone has come across one of your blog postings and it is quite embarrassing. This makes me want to go back to my original idea of having a ghost blog instead of airing my dirty laundry with my real name attached to it. This shitz can get you in trouble. I ended my night by watching my favorite show Modern Family and then watched Robin Williams interview Country music stars. What I realize is I really want to be a singer I wish I could sing!

Thank you, Universe!

I woke up this am and to my surprise the Universe came through for me. The vamp was laying in bed next to me not wanting a piece just wanting to cuddle and talk. The night cream I cake on my face every night before bed had wiped those crows right out, just like it promises too. My hair that has been falling out from these people was thick again. I looked like I am 25 again. The bags under my eyes had disappeared. That unwanted belly fat had mysteriously disappeared. Those size "A" boobs I have grown on my back were gone. I ran into my closet and those skinny jeans went over my hips with ease. Then the doorbell rang it was publishers clearing house standing there with balloons and my million dollar check. I felt rich and refreshed! I looked around my house and it was clean and all the closets and drawers were organized. Nat Berkus had redecorated my whole house, then he told me I had changed his mind about being gay. Oprah was on my sofa just wanting to shoot the shit. Ellen was dancing around my livingroom. Dr Oz was here to tell me I was the picture of health. OMG, I realize I was the one who created facebook and was a muti billionare! Then that damn Dr. Phil had to show up and tell me to get real! Where is Debbie to see this shitz??? A girl can dream right????? In actuality I woke up to dumb and dumber fighting over who's waffle had more butter on it. So I finally kicked their ass out the door and went back to bed.



Later that morning I woke up to "the view" showing their asses on TV. I got ready and headed to the middle school for a little volunteer time. When I got to the middle school there were two cop cars in front of it. The cars were running but there were no cops in them. As I was walking by I thought to myself gee it would be fun to hop in one and take it for a joy ride. I don't know why I have these crazy thoughts but I do. I spend about two hours in there entering a survey that the kids did about the counselors. I was sad to see that one kid wrote....Please stop the kids from calling me fat, it hurts! Kids are jerks, adults are too but at least we have learned to talk behind people's backs instead of too their faces.



I get home in time to pick up my two favorite little boys from school. Aidan has soccer practice and Cole has football practice at the same time. Hubby takes Aidan and I take Cole. I have to drop and run with Cole. I need to get to the middle school to pick up Blake from football feed him and get him back there for his choir concert. I drop him back off at his concert and head back out to pick up Cole. Damn I hope these kids are rich and famous someday and buy me a convertible Mercedes with a little plastic surgery so I don't look like an old ass driving it. They owe me, all I do is drive them around so they can be in everything they want. After I get Cole we head back to the middle school so we can catch the choir concert. Poor Blake we didn't try on his choir uniform till last night. I guess he has grown some since last year since he is standing up there with floods on. I don't know if the other parents feel this way but I am looking at the program trying to figure out how long this is going to take. The first song is cute but then it gets just plain boring. Sometimes I feel like I am a ten year old trapped in a forty year old body. I am sitting there and instead of watching my kid sing, which btw, for the longest time I was looking at the wrong kid thinking he was mine(I SEE GLASSES IN MY FUTURE) I was sizing up the people sitting around me. There was a couple in front of me and he was rubbing her back the whole time. I found myself wondering if this was a second or third marriage. There was a women sitting down from me that clearly had her hey day in the 80's because she was stuck there. A Dad a few rows up was looking around the whole time as if he was on the prowl for a new wife. Cole my baby was standing up trying to sing with the choir and wave to all the middle school kids who were ignoring him. Finally this shitz is over, thank God we can go home.







We are driving home and they just put a "What a Burger" in our small little town with little fast food. There is a line around the building to get in. Plus the inside is packed. I want to yell out the window get a life it's a Burger joint. Who would wait more than five minutes for a burger? I really think it should be called "What the F!@# Burger" God knows what crap they scrap up off the floors while making those things. Sorry just a little bitter that the heart center said no more burgers! I have to take out my frustration somewhere. To tell you the truth I would LOVE a "What a Burger" bout now. Sorry no pictures with this post...Camera girl needs a happy motivating pill. I think these people finally stole my MO JO! Looking foward to my twisted sister coming next week with my sweet niece.

What the Hell Universe????

Monday morning I wake up with every intention to re invent myself into the perfect person. I was going to workout, eat right, and take my vitamins. I was going to get crap done off my awful list as well. I like to refer to this list as the shit list. At 2:30 I found myself still in my PJ's suckin down Dr Peppers, watching TV, and surfing the net. Pathetic, I know! I don't know why but I am missing the self control gene. When I plan this kind of day it almost seems like my mind works extra hard to mess it up. I take a quick shower and run up to pick up the kids from school. I always have this overwhelming feeling of guilt when I don't follow through with my plans. I'm going to start re inventing myself on Tuesdays. Mondays and me just don't see eye to eye.





Blake has a football game tonight. I'm in my closet getting ready. I pull out my "True Religion" jeans. I am shocked when they won't go over my hips. What's even worst is Hubby walks in the closet from work and stops and laughs at me. Great timing, there I am wobbling all over the closet trying to get these over my hips! Pretty sight. I pull out another pair of jeans, I can get these over my hips but I can't button them. Hubby is still in there hanging up his tie from his work day. He glances over again......laughing and says.......What happened????? What happened is I turned 40 and all that crap Mom...aka..Debbie Downer said to me is true! Your metabolism comes to a screeching halt. Now I am mad! I never used to work out ever and I have been doing yoga and palates this is bullshit! These damn jeans fit in APRIL. This is no ones fault but my own. I know what to do stop buying soda, beer, cheeseburgers, french fries, and junk! Stop sitting on the sofa surfing the web and watching TV. Start walking at night, for God sakes I have a dog and kids they would love to walk. As I writing this little entry I am thinking about the fact that I am meeting my friend Sharri's boyfriend at "Docs" tonight. He is buying one of Hubby's ACL tickets. Doc's has the best damn cheeseburgers and fries, I have to have one! I have a very LONG road a head of me. Getting old sucks I like the good old days where I could eat what ever I wanted. I did workout for an hour on Tuesday. After I was done I ran in my closet and tried those jeans back on. As if that fat was going to melt right off.

Here's a picture of Blake about to take down that guy. I was so proud when I heard his name over the loud speaker. Since there is more than one football team we always stay for the second the game. My two little guys always throw the ball around with the other kids at the game. Every time I pass them they yell......Hey Mommy! I counted three times that Blake walked by me and acted like he did not know who I was. I bought a button of him at one of the games and he asked me to please not wear it. Where is that little boy that loved his Mommy so much????

These guys in their boots just crack my ass up! It may be growing on me!

I had to add a few pictures of "Baby Beck". He was a crazy rock star again at his game. Four left footed goals. I was behind the goal area because it was the best place to take pictures. The goal keeper from the other teams name was Caleb. The reason I know this is because his helicopter Mom stood right behind the goal the entire game. She talked to him non stop. Poor kid how the heck was he supposed to concentrate. She would say Caleb do you know what you did wrong on that one? Caleb the ball is coming get ready. Caleb if you do this it will be better. Caleb that is exactly what your supposed to do and so on and so on. That kid did not turn around one time and acknowledge that she was speaking to him. No exaggeration she never shut up the entire game. I found myself wanting to yell things at her like shut the hell up and let him play. At one point I wanted to take off my shoe and stuff it in her mouth. Mind you Aidan plays on a team two years up so this poor kid is nine. OMG, I can just imagine this poor kids life and his poor future wife. I will never see her again so I feel free to talk shit on here about her without having to call her "Hello Kitty".

Aidan's team is having a great season. I think they have only lost one game.

I can't wait to watch this kid though the years playing sports. He has this determination in his eyes that is crazy. I LOVE having the star player. He is so much fun to watch.

We get home from the game and I am uploading all the millions I took at the game. Blake is standing over me looking at the pictures. All of the sudden he drops a full glass of water on my lap top. It goes right on my keyboard. It is almost like it is happening in slow motion and I am going......NOOOOOOOOOO! I flip the thing upside down right away. I lay a towel up and set it upside down on it. The last few weeks the Universe has been shiting all over me. It started when Hubby's car needed a bunch of work. Then our lawnmower broke. Then our washer broke. Then the window of my car broke. Next I crashed my car. Two days later I lost money out of my pocket at a football game. I made the mistake of saying the words what's next! Well the universe showed me what's next. I'm in a huge panic, Hubby is going to go through the roof on this one. Should I stage a robbery????? After I let the lap top dry out I am testing it the keys are going out one by one right before my eyes. Next the screen goes.....come on Universe give me a break!

I ask the universe all the time for a large lotto win, good health, and happiness. Hey Universe I ain't happy! How about that lotto. Is it so much to ask for the easy way out??? Mom...aka...Debbie Downer is from the school that nothing comes easy. Bullshit there are people that get the easy way out and I want to be one. Are you listening Universe?????

While getting ready for football practice Cole is watching the Oprah show about the monkey who communicates with people. He turns to me and asks if we could get one of these monkeys. I tell him if he cooks, cleans, and drives kids around I'm all for it!

I had to take a picture of this salad I made for my friends who were in town. It was so pretty and I totally copied it from my neighbor. Anyway I'm getting tired of these people I live with messing and breaking my shit.