Summer, summer, summer, time!!!!! Can everyone hear the screaming coming from my house???

 The house has a sign that says..."Coming soon".  This is brilliant. We have had two showings of people who want to be the first to see it. The realtor came by today so I could sign all of the paperwork before my super fun road trip to Chicago. Hub's and I totally showed our ass in front of him fighting like two immature teenagers. I swear this is going to be the death of us. We are still fighting about everything. The first people who looked at it may make an offer this week. We have NO WHERE to go. So glad Hub's had this great idea to move. I'm stressed to my breaking point. Hub's wants to donate and get rid of all kinds of stuff. I like to hold on to things. Anyone know of a good therapist?????

 The kids wanted to head to the pool today. I had a ton of stuff to do. I finally have a kid old enough to take the little ones without me!!!!!!!

I was supposed to pack while they were gone.  I couldn't get my damn face out of that 50 shades book again. I got not a thing done. When I went to get the kids from the pool Aidan's face looked a bit more messed up. He walked up to the car and I said......."What now". They went to the workout center and he was trying to run too fast on the treadmill and fell!!!!! Really??? He looks like someone beat the crap out of him. This kid has been accident prone since he popped out. He was an accident in the first place.....the best accident I ever had. My old neighbors in Frisco used to say if they didn't know me they would call CPS. This was because he always had a mark of some kind on him. There was a time when I thought he couldn't see or hear right because he fell down so much. I remember one time Hub's and I were sitting at the kitchen table. He was about three. It looked like someone pushed him into the wall in front of us......but no one was there. We both looked at each other with that "WTF" look on our faces.

My house was full once again....full of stinky boys that is. I don't know why I'm "the house".....I'm really not per say a kid lover. They get on my nerves. Yet they all seem to love to be here. Reminds me a little bit of me in my younger years....always trying to get the attention of people who really weren't that into me. I once tried to get a gay guy to turn straight for me. Like I said before....anyone know a great therapist????? I really do like this group of kids. I think my younger two have picked their friends wisely. They hang out with a really good group. I hope they stay with them. This is always a big conversation in our house. I really believe your friends make you or break you. I think back to my younger years. When I hung out with good kids I made good decisions. When I hung out with the bad kids I did bad stuff.

The boys love to harass the best dog ever. Because he is the best dog ever he puts up with all of it. He is going to Chicago with us too!!!


Tomorrow we start to make our way to Chicago. I'm not packed yet either. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants girl. I wish I was super wealthy....Christian Grey wealthy. Then I wouldn't pack a thing. I would just buy more shit when I got there. So anyway tomorrow we drive to Dallas to spend the night with Hub's family. Thursday my Dad flies in. We will pick him up at DFW and start our long ass drive. I do happen to have the best dad ever even if he is a little grumpy. This will be the third year my dad does this. The first year the car broke down in a dry county. We were stranded with three boys a dog and no alcohol. That was no fun. Last year we flew the two older boys up there. My dad, the dog, Aidan, and I drove. We packed beer that trip!!!! When we got to the hotel there was no can opener. I still laugh when I think of my dad opening beer on the door jam. Like I said.....best dad ever!!!!!!!!!!!

My final note of the night.......I heard someone say that "once you go black you never go back" saying recently. I had to giggle. I was at a bar recently and there was a white guy and a black guy dancing close to each other. When I heard someone say this I flashed to those two dancing side by side. I think there might be something to that saying. Again sorry for bad grammar and all that. I'm too tired to proof read!

The mall police

While in Chicago last weekend we took my niece...aka..the Golden Jerk to see the Easter Bunny. She looked adorable. I loved it because my kids no longer believe. They would much rather play on their iPhones and Itouches than sit in the bunnies lap! I finally get that saying.."through the eyes of a child". When your in those moments stressed out as hell waiting for the day they are older and can take care of
themselves you don't realize how fast it is all going. I would give anything to have a do over. I would be a much better mom.

I have my camera with me at all times. I ask Ella to go over by the egg so I can get a picture. There is a sign that says no camera's past this point. We are not past this point yet but we are starting to get stink eye from the bunny workers. Ella knocks over the plant behind her. The bunny worker walks over to tell us she could get electrocuted. Really????? She's not sticking wet fingers into plugs! She simply knocked over a plant. I don't know about you but I never saw anyone get electrocuted period, especially while taking a picture or from knocking a plant over.

Ella gets up to the bunny. My Mom and Sister are buying an overpriced not so great picture of her. I go behind the NO cameras beyond this point sign to get a picture too. The crazy bunny worker walks over to me and tells me to put my camera away. I look at her and say......"My family just paid for the package to buy your pictures and I'm standing BEHIND the No camera line". She tells me to put the camera way! Not nice either! Now I can see if they weren't buying the overpriced package but they are. I argue again.....We bought a package besides the point that I'm at is way behind the No camera line. She walks away and gets on the phone. I had a feeling that she was calling the mall police..aka...Paul Blart.

So the mall cop...aka...Paul  comes over to me. He asks me if there is a problem. I say..."yeah my Mom and sister are buying a picture package and the crazy bunny lady is giving me a hard time about taking a picture from behind the .....No pictures beyond this point sign". He says..."you need to leave this area and put the camera away"! I argue more with him. I say.."I'm clearly behind the point so why are you guys giving me such a hard time". He says..."You can't point your camera anywhere near the bunny.....now put the camera away". I still want to argue my point but I'm going down stream at this point. I say alright and walk way! But really????? Hello...don't have that no camera's beyond this point if that is not the case! Have a sign that says No cameras period! The whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way! I have the urge to tell the bunny lady off but I'm way to mature to stoop to her level. Well not really but my mom is there and I don't want to make a scene. Plus the older you get the more you realize people like this would get off if you told them off rather than hear your point. I would totally be the topic of her wine induced conversation for months. Bitter???? Maybe!For God sakes I'm already super stressed out knowing I'm getting on a plane in a matter of hours!

We get back to house and Blake and my Dad...aka...Grumps are back from golfing. I take a few pictures of the twins before we head to the airport....which I can't help but think will be my last destination.

Ella crazy loves Blake! Maybe it is because she looks just like him. Maybe because she is already a typical girl that loves the one that pays the least amount of attention to her.

So I'm washing clothes and getting my stuff together. My dad..aka..Grumps makes a strange comment about the dogs face! I was sworn to put it in the vault, not to post it on Facebook or blog about it! It got a good laugh and a thought of WTF! See him here laughing!!!!! He knows he just said a WTF thing. So I'm trying to play it cool all the while wondering if this will be the last time I see my family since I crazy think a plane I'm getting on is going down. I have that felling of wanting to drink many beers or pop a Zanex (Sp?). We head out to airport. By the way Ella was supposed to come home with us. She couldn't because the flights coming back were bad....she would have been stuck with us a few more days! That would have been just awful...not for me...but for her dad. We made the mistake of telling her she was going home with us before we checked the flights. She was just as sad as me that she couldn't come.


My dad gets Blake and I off to the airport. I'm always a crazy weeping fool. There is something about being at home that just makes me feel complete. I love being there I feel safe and happy. I love my family and I love to be with them. I wish we could all live close.  I miss all the holidays with them and that makes me sad.


So we get to the airport and I get Garrets popcorn....I get some for me and some for my neighbors that helped with my little ones when I was gone. 30 dollars on popcorn makes my think...why didn't I come up with the crazy overpriced popcorn?????  You can always charge a good rate when you come up with something good. We get on the plane that I tapped three times hoping my dead relatives are not wanting a reunion. We were supposed to get first class but it got taken away right before we boarded.....due to upgrades. So we get the seats right behind first class. Blake and I are seated together next to a guy that's around my age. He is quiet at first. Then he realizes because of my conversation with Blake that I'm actually scared shitless. He starts to make small conversation with me telling me how much he flies. When your seated next to someone their right in your face when you talk. I could smell his dinner on his breath guessing he could smell mine too. I was thinking back to what I ate this day. Oh shit, I had a patty melt with onions for lunch. I try to talk away from him knowing I for sure have onion breath! Now I notice I can see every wrinkle and his pores look crazy big to me. I wonder what my pores and wrinkles look like to him. By the way, with all these thoughts I'm trying to not focus on crashing. I'm really not that shallow. He was super nice but there were so many times I wanted to puke from nerves! We landed safely......another two years from stress taken off my life for no good reason.


I get home only to come back to a messy house and lots of laundry. I love how anal hub's gives me a hard time about what I did when things are not in ship shape order in house and I come home to this. I wonder what they would do without me keeping their house and laundry in order! Not to mention all the shit they lose that only I can find. It's safe to say the house truly does need a Mama holding it together.


So I walked right back into the reality of my existence. Back to getting kids up and feed in the am. Back to awful car rides of kids fighting on the way to practices. Back to being the cook, the chauffeur, the voice, the one that keeps the house running! I headed out to Blake's track meet on Thursday. My new cars    GPS headed my out on a crazy back road route...it got me there though. This track meet was in Lake Canyon an hour in a half away from home.  Right away when I get there he tells me there is a crazy good vaulter that he can't beat. I tell him don't think about that...just do the best you can.  He ends up taking first for that region. He got over ten which again ties the record from 1986 but doesn't beat it. I really want him to beat it. He only has one more chance on Tuesday! Say a little prayer please. How great would that be. To beat a 26 year record???? I will keep you posted! To say I'm excited is an understatement.  I so want him to be the best at this, I think it will give him the confidence he needs. I think my kids are the best things ever...they are for sure the best things things I ever did. I just really want this for him...Do you hear Universe????


After the track meet I take five kids home. I have a new and improved car. We are in the parking lot and I type my address in the GPS. The GPS takes you on the shortest route. Well let me tell you the GPS took us down purgatory road. If anyone knows what purgatory means we were in it for at least an hour. The trees looked like they were going to swallow us. You couldn't see anything in front of you. I truly felt like we were right in the middle of a horror movie. We had random animals jumping in front of the car. The screams I was getting while driving was unbelievable and dramatic. Plus they had crazy rap music blaring in my car. STRESSFUL!!! I was trying to play it cool all the time thinking I was going to go into a full panic attack. All the sudden we come across this very narrow bridge with water running across it. I fear that we will get sucked up by the water...the kids yell we need to turn around. I don't want to tun around because we have already went so far on this path. The girl gets out of the car to see how bad the water is on this bridge. She gets back in and says it's not that bad. I go over it knowing if I go too far on one side the river will suck us in.....Did I say it was narrow????? Remember I have MS my shit ain't right anyway!  We make it over still trying not to hit the wild life. GPS tells me to turn left. I turn left a second to early, you can barely see in front of you on this road. We end up turning a second to early into a residence. A residence that kind of looks like the Texas chain saw movie, run down house, junk everywhere, bad cars with punched out windows, a dim light in the window. The kids all start to scream. I want to scream and panic too. I don't I back up and take the next left. We finally end up in Wimberly which I know.


We stop to get gas. I want to walk into the bathroom and scream at the top of my lungs to release the stress of that drive. Hub's has the neighbor over watching the basketball game. Being the perfect wife I am I get them some beer. I pop the hatch to put the beer in. There is no room with all the kids stuff. I hand the beer to Blake to put on the floor board. As I'm doing this one of the kids is rolling down the window saying....I know that guy. I look over and there is an officer talking to the kids in the back seat. I don't know if he saw the beer sitting in my kids lap up front. He asked him to roll down the window so he could see who all was in the car. Of course the beer is still on his lap and not on the floor board. This kid does nothing fast plus I usually have to tell him five times what to do. I'm trying to tell Blake under my breath put the beer on the floor while smiling at the man. So the officer looks at the beer and looks at me. He says to the kid in the backseat...is that your sister driving and then winks at me. The kids are all dramatically telling him about our trip down purgatory road. He finally walks away. I say...."Now how do you kids know him"? They say..."oh he is the officer that comes to our school and talks to us about not drinking". Priceless....the perfect end to a perfect day! If there is bad spelling and bad grammar I don't care....have a good laugh at me. I don't feel like proof reading this!

A day in Chicago

It's been a few days since my last entry. I haven't been feeling it if you know what I mean. I have been down about my Grandma and just haven't really felt like writing.

After Grandma's funeral we stayed an extra day in Chicago. My twisted sister had the idea for all of us to head downtown. Me I would have been fine in the warm house watching TV. I'm not used to that cold weather anymore.

Of course we come from the family of ass dragers so we don't get going till after noon. A morning gal I will NEVER be and I'm alright with that.

This is little jerk that stole the Grump from me. I think I will write a children's book about her and title it.....The Grinch who stole my Grumps. He doesn't even know I'm in the room when she is around. I'm not used to being ignored for God's sake. He's always talking to her and trying to get her attention. I could say....hey Grump I'm leaving these people I live with to run off with my Vampire and he would say "that's nice". Bullshit I say! If she wasn't so damn cute I would totally take her down. I will get you back someday Grump and I bet it's when she hits the terrible twos. Grumps has zero tolerance for bad babies. That is how he got his nickname.

Here's another one blinded by the little jerks charm. Cole is like the baby whisper. Kids love him and he is so good with them. I bet he will make a great Father some day. SIDE NOTE.....I'm writing my blog right now and Hub's is watching Pearl Harbor for the 500th time I shit you not! So I'm sitting here and I can pretty much quote the movie word for word and I'm not even looking at the TV. I'm sick of him hogging my TV, especially when he is watching the same shit over and over. Now Aidan is in my face telling me I would get into a lot of trouble if I were in school. I say why??? He says because you are typing with one hand. I tell him that's how I roll and to take a hike.

Were finally ready to roll downtown. Mom....aka...Debbie Downer does her normal ritual before we leave the house. She drags her ass upstairs while we all wait ready to go. She checks and double checks to make sure the doors and windows are locked. She asks Grumps a few silly questions. She gets out a big ass box of gloves and hats so the kids can have a fashion show while trying to decide on one. You think she would have learned by now hand them a hat and a pair of gloves and be on your way. Oh wait she has more hats upstairs so she goes to get those as well. I guess the twenty hats on the table were not enough to pick from. We are finally all suited up and she has to use the restroom now! I just laugh as Grumps rolls his eyes.....for this is the story of his life.

We drive to the L train to go downtown. Grumps and Debbie are like the blind leading the blind trying to figure out the ticket situation. They have to call the L lady over for help. They look like total tourist. No one would ever believe that they both grew up in the city.

Aidan says....We don't see our breath where we come from! Thank God for small things. All you Cub fan readers who are criticizing his Sox hat right now.....you can Suck it! Grumps is the only one in his big family who is a Sox fan. We are trying to win him back from the little jerk by making him happy with our Sox apparel. The little Jerks Dad is a huge Cubs fan so she will never sport anything that says SOX. One point for the Cavender clan on that one.

We get downtown and we go to see the giant tree at Macy's. This to me will always be the giant tree at Marshal Fields because that's what it was when I was a kid. I used to go downtown with my Mom and her Mom to see Santa and eat under the tree. I remember thinking this tree was so giant and beautiful. It still is giant and beautiful. It brings back many memories for me. For this is when I learned to shop like a rock star with Debbie.

Of course we have to see Santa. Believe it or not we got right in! NO line, I can't believe it. I remember being a kid and waiting in the long Santa line for EVER.....What has happened???

The boys always love shopping with Debbie because she loves to buy shit and always cracks under pressure. They know they are going to break her down and go home with some useless crap. Now me as much as I like to shop, I also like a deal. I rarely pay full price for anything. Debbie is another animal she likes to pay full price because she says she knows quality then.

We go to eat under the tree at Macy's. No Line! I remember waiting forever to eat at that restaurant as a kid. Maybe it's because it's Tuesday. They have this girl dressed up as a princess going to the table sprinkling the kids with magic dust. I look over at twisted sister and say she looks anorexic. Twisted Sister says to me she looks like a ghost because she is not only skeleton like but she is also white as a dead person. The little Jerk looks at her and offers her the roll she's eating and says eat bitch please. Now this is in no way making fun of people with eating disorders...just sayin.

Cole just loves Grumps.....I really don't know why! I guess he doesn't get that we have all become shit since little jerk arrived.

Check out the girl behind us.......her hand looks odd.

We ask the waitress to get a picture of all of us under the tree. Here we are but I really don't see the tree in the background.

The baby whisper helps Ella get bundled up for the super cold weather in Chicago. Notice there are smurfs in the background. Note to self....hold on to your shit everything seems to resurface some day. I may get rich off something. There are many things I wish I had held on to.

I love this picture. The tree was amazing. I'm so glad the twisted one talked me into going downtown instead of TV. Side note Hub's is still watching Pearl Harbor......as if he is in the theater. I want to yell turn that shit down I can't concentrate. I totally blame any bad grammar, run on sentences, and to and too puck ups on him tonight.

We head out of Macy's to the cold as shit streets of Chicago. It is a beautiful city, especially at Christmas.

We are checking out the Macy's windows. Now I'm a bit disappointed they are not as elaborate as they used to be. Bad economy...Puck u! The twisted one of course has to act like she's picking poor Virginia's nose. I see therapy in her future. Maybe we could get a family rate.

Now of course I need to get in on the action. I think I will put bunny ears over Virginia's head. As you can see the twisted one did not direct me correctly. I did a much better job directing her nose picking picture.

We head over to the Kris Kringle market downtown to do some shopping. Poor Ella is cold as shit.

For Gods Sake, even the pigeons are cold in Chicago. We really do laugh our asses off over the pigeons warming their feathers downtown.

This is the famous "BEAN" that reflects the city.

This is the beautiful tree at the Kris Kringle market. LOL, just googled "Kris Kringle" to make sure I was spelling it right.

While at the Kris Kringle market the twisted one got this cow hat. I see this as a cry for help. She might as well have a giant sign over her head that says.....LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME! She is a bit of an attention whore. BTW, she learned everything from me. Though I would not sport a cow hat in fear that someone would say MOO! I think I might crumble.

AWWWWW, ice skating downtown, never did it but it looks like a lot of fun.

The city is just beautiful but cold as shit! So ready to get back to 80 degree weather in Austin.

While visiting the BEAN we come across this. Ellen, Ellen DeGeneres that is, is filming the worst X-mas sweater ever show. In my perfect world I would be the next Ellen minus the lesbian, I would be the Ellen with the half dead billionaire with the hootie on the side...just sayin! Twister sister and me run to see what all the excitement is about. Now I'm a HUGE Ellen fan. Twisted sister and I went as Ellen and Porsha for Halloween. We so wish we would have known this was going on because we would have won this shit! Anywho we watch and laugh. There were some great BAD X-mas outfits. This goes back to me sayin hold on to your shit! I supported some God awful X-mas sweaters in my day.

Now Twisty and me can spot a hottie a mile away. She looks at me and says....look at that guy! I say yeah I already have spotted him. She says get a picture. I say already got it. Sad thing is he looks GAY! Damn it all the super hot ones are GAY.

Look at the little jerk trying to get that "hey look at me hat". I really might take her down. Cute and all I'm just plain fed up. Give us a little you little jerk!

Ok so the little jerk is so amazingly beautiful, I will give her that! I can't stop taking pictures of her.

Damn it, if she can't sport some X-mas PJ's like a rock star.

The day we are getting to leave Chicago it is snowing, The little guys are super excited since they rarely see snow.

This is the picture we took as we were getting in the car ready to go to the airport. SNOW....Awww glad I'm leaving it...them not so much.

Thoughts of my day..........Thinking I'm going to go on Craig's list tommorow and look for a pop up camper. I will park it in the backyard with a TV and a Laptop and live happily ever after. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I'm to tired to proof read.....I blame Hub's anyway! I was on FB today which to me has become pretty boring, I was tempted to comment GAG on a few peoples status updates, but then I realized I'm feeling like a downer because of Grandma and I should not be an asshole because of it!

Hanging with the relatives

My Aunt Beth and cousin Kacy took us to the beach for the day.

Kelly and Cole always have fun together.

This picture does not even come close to giving this guy Justice. He was on one of those 1970 lawn chairs dowsed in baby oil. Cole could not keep from staring at him. He really gives George Hamilton a run for the money.

The kids rented a paddle boat. Aidan the voice for reason stayed behind in fear it might tip over. I kind of feel bad for the little guy. I don't how to break this fear of things in him. I hate to say but I think being the youngest his brothers have scared him to death telling him things that might happen.

Baby Ella is just the cutest thing ever. She is always in a good mood. We had so much fun hanging out with her. I'm going to win the lotto so we could see her way more. Are you listening UNIVERSE????

Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Beth had us over for a BBQ. Jimmy is my Dads youngest brother. He is closer in age to me then he is to my Dad. I find this funny for some reason. When I was a kid I used to annoy the hell out of him at my Grandma's house. I had a big crush on his friend Kevin. I would want to hang around them all the time.

Still being a big kid my Uncle Jimmy had to make smores. He said it would be fun for the kids but I think he had the most fun of all.

Mom...aka....Debbie Downer had her first smore ever. Who hasn't had smores anyway???? We had a great time seeing Jimmy's family while in Chicago. They were supposed to try and come see me when I got back to Austin. With the their kids starting college they couldn't pull it off this year! I will let them slide this year. A few more Chicago post to go and then back to everyday life with these people I live with.