I have offically lost my mind!

So even though Blake has had two boy girl parties since starting middle school I throw him yet another. Every time I do this I say it is the last time! I always cave when he asks me for another. I'm a sucker for sure. This caused a little argument between Hub's and I. When I broke the news to him he whined and complained like a baby. He throw it in my face that I said I would never do this again. I tell him never, whatever! Hub's hates parties at our house but hates the mess even more. Remember he is anal boy. He is always cleaning behind everyone instead of enjoying himself. I tell Blake he can have kids over from 7-12. They start to show one by one and ten by five. Aidan...aka...the informer tells me that one showed up with a duffel bag full of toilet paper. Got to love an informer. I told Blake he could have a few of the guys spend the night. I guess they thought they were going toilet papering. I'm a night owl by nature so no worries here. I will out last them so they will never get out the door on my watch. Or maybe I will get a wild hair up my ass and do it with them. Well not so much....I don't want my perfect name to become shit in my hood.

I try to take pictures but these kids are at the age where they cover their faces! Better show those faces now. Before you know it they will be filled with sun damage, wrinkles, and bags under the eyes! Sometimes now when I see a picture of myself I think that can't be me.

So the party starts out pretty lame. I'm a little scared. I think to myself we are only thirty minutes into this and I'm counting tiles in the kitchen. What are these kids thinking???? The UT game is on so we have the boys watching it. The girls are pretty much twirling their thumbs, as am I. Am I going to have to get out my great dance moves to get this party started???? Ya know, the sprinkler, Michael Jackson, the running man, etc, etc. Blake would just die.

Some time goes by and the boys are outside. The girls are peeking through the shutters spying on them. If I recall when I was in the eight grade we were playing spin the bottle. Glad they have not figured spin the bottle out yet. The modern version would probably be spin the cell phone and they would sext the person it lands on. This is one generation I do not get. At least half the kids spent a good part of the night texting.

So I get ten pizzas from little Caesar! Love that you can get ten pizzas for 50 bucks. Little plug for one of my BFF's who owns the little Caesar in the area. There was a time or ten that I had to tell Blake to put more appropriate music on. It's hard to find appropriate music these days. At one point I have to tell Blake to change the music for the 500th time. He is sitting on the back porch with everyone. He says....Mom everyone here listens to this kind of music. Then he looks at his friends and says.....if any of you are not allowed to listen to this raise your hand. Of course no one raises their hand. What poor smuck is going to raise his hand and say....Um I'm not allowed to listen to this. After no raises their hand Blake looks at me and says...SEE. I am secretly happy that there may be a few Moms I know in Mommy Hell with me. I tell him I did not fall off a turnip truck yesterday. I ask him again to change the music. So he does for a while.

Wow, after taking this picture I think what age is that awkward stage??? Did it skip this generation??? Are we making perfectly beautiful children now??? There is definitely something in our milk. Seems slightly unfair. The thing that cracks me up is Blake has invited way more girls than boys to this party. Should I be scared????? Of course I should.

A Cavender party always has all the bells and whistles. I get sweets, more sweets than the kids can eat. I get sodas more than they can get a sip out of and leave behind. I get pizza.....Little Caesar...Rocks! Hello second plug...I might need an advertising fee.

So here is one of my favorite moms with the girl I would trade any of these people I live with for. I may have a pre-arrange marriage for one of my sons with her. I love the parents and it will be all good in my hood. Cole...aka...drama has liked her since we moved here in 2006. I love that I have raised at least one to be loyal to the one you love. He never changes his mind about her. So she does not feel the same yet but she seems to be coming around. Thank God my friend Erin was here to help me with these kids. She caught a few trying to walk down the street to the park. Nothing gets past us. We are like Super hero Mom's. We know all, we see all, and we stop all shenanigans before they start. At least the ones we are not involved in.

So as the party progresses the boys are in the yard playing football. At least the girls have now gone outside to watch. At one point I go out on the porch and pull out my best dance moves. I think I'll get these kids dancing. No one even looks my way so I put my tail between my legs and go in. Later in the night one of Blake's friends does teach me a new dance. So I watched and I tucked it away in my super fun party dance moves vault. I can't wait till the next party to pull out this party trick. Don't think I won't be practicing it a mirror till then.

The girls end up taking over the football game to hit a volley ball back and forth to each other. The little one in the background is Aidan...aka...the informer. The middle school girls crazy love him. He is no dummy he is always right there with them. Probably taking in things that will make my name shit later in life.

Here he is again with all the girls! I just wonder why aren't the middle school boys here???? Aidan might just be the smartest one for sure. Maybe Blake needs a lesson or two from the baby.

They end up playing a game that is pretty much let rover come over....this is a game from my age. Love to see that this is still on the map.

As much as I worried the party ended up fun.

I at one point put my vamp an his arch enemy in my bedroom window to freak the kids out. My friend Erin was a total accomplice to this shenanigan. I like that about her. Very disappointed that no one ever said anything about them. These kids are no fun! When I put it in the window for Cole's party all the kids were screaming.

Aidan always manages to worm his way into the center of the action.

The girls bring some clever gifts. Blake is a trooper and tries on all the crazy things.

I will take any of these girls for Blake in HS. I will never tell him that though. He already seems to fall into the typical teenager way of thinking. He says and does opposite of what I want.

Guy group shot. Check out Aidan's pose and face. Who does he think he is???? I mean Really!

My pet peeve is when kids take drinks out of my fridge take one sip and leave it. I remember being a kid and this very same thing would drive my Grandpa crazy. I used to think he was so crabby about it. I get it now and I am crabby about it. Being the evil genius that I am. I come up with a fabulous idea. I go around picking up all the dead soldiers and marry them together in my big ass glass drink dispenser. At the end of the night I'm going to tell the kids I made a awesome punch and give them each a glass. After they take a big sip I will tell them what they just drank.....HAAAAA, HAAAAAA, HA, HA!

Well I survived another teenage girl boy party. This is Blake's last one for sure. I mean it this time. The biggest complaint I want to file on this party is when they all took bottled waters from my fridge and dumped them on each other. To the tune of two cases. I went out ready to show my three heads. Hub's stops me and says....A case of water is only four dollars so let it go. This coming from the man who hates when I throw these parties. I have a hard time letting things go. I imagine myself getting the hose and spraying them all down. I will be there hose in hand with my three heads. One head will yell.....You want to get wet huh?????? The other head will yell...Take this as I spray the shit out of them one by one. The third head will yell......Where ya all going as they all run away screaming. Then I will let out the most Evil laugh they have ever heard. I will no longer be the house.

The party wouldn't be complete until our crabby ass neighbor calls the police on us. There he goes again wasting the tax payers money. I didn't call the police on him when he yelled Puck You to me not once but twice last week. This was really for no reason. I was just getting a towel out of the yard. I ignored him even though every part of me wanted to yell something back. I would blog about what I wanted to yell but even I who has no filter would not feel comfortable writing it down. Ya know I'm thinking really bad thoughts now!~So they came shot the shit with us, saw we were doing no wrong and left. I hope he was watching that from his blinds like he usually is.

I found a big ass package of toilet paper stuffed in my bushes the next day. I guess they passed out before I did. If I had thought about it I should have toilet papered my own house. I could have woke up in the morning and yelled at the boys. I would say....get your butts up someone toilet papered the house. I would make them clean it all up and I would sit back laugh and reminisce about how much fun I had doing it the night before. I think I like this new evil genius tag my sister gave me. I'm kind of taking it and running with it. Maybe I should have taken that awful "barbie" name she tagged me with before and run with it. I could have plastic shot in face then. Once again too tired to proof read. It is what it is.