sleeping with the enemy

Gotta love this kid with my hat and my book in a laundry basket. Now if he would just start doing the laundry we would be all good. The other night I posted on facebook.......after the laundry, the cleaning, and all the back to school shit I have decided I would like a wife. I had a lot of people who agreed with me. I'm dead serious I really want a wife. How nice would it be to have someone take care of all the shit you don't like to do. Can you imagine! When my 14 year old commented on my status...ok lezbo I kind of wanted to die. He has some nerve lately. I have my work cut out for me with him.

Thursday night I was dozing in and out of sleep on the sofa. I was trying to get my shit TV time in. Cole comes down to tell me he has had a nightmare. Hub's always tells him to be a man and go back to bed. Hub's is already in bed and I am a huge softy. I can't resist his sweet eyes and his scared voice. Him being in 5th grade this is probably the last year he will come find me after a bad dream. I turn off the TV and tell him I will come up and lay down with him. Wow, that was a mistake. I was awakened every hour on the hour. Plus the dog jumped in the bed and slept across my legs. Cole talks in his sleep...LOUD. He talks about me, he fights with his brothers, and he talks in an Australian accent. I can't tell you how many times I heard...Hello Mate! So many times that it is ringing over and over in my head at work. He also flips around like a fish out of water. Which meant I was either fighting a leg or an elbow all night. I remember waking up at three am. I looked at the clock and thought good I still have three and half more hours of sleep. I was too tired to go back down stairs to sleep. A few minutes go by and I hear Cole get up to pee. I don't hear the toilet flush but like I said too tired to care. Another hour goes by and I hear the dog drinking from the toilet. I pop right up and think .......SHIT, he is drinking pee. I go and flush the toilet. I can't help but think that my dog is probably drinking pee water everynight. No one seems to know how to flush a damn toilet in this house. Now the dog is back up on the bed with Cole and me. He likes to sleep like a human sometimes so he is trying to lay his head on the pillow and tuck his body under the covers. I'm hoping that he will be facing Cole with that pee breath. God forbid he tries to lick me. He faces me of course. The dog thinks he is married to me. I turn over so my face is not facing his. I try to go back to sleep on the little corner these two have left me on the bed. Lets just say morning came way too early this am.