Raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree.

 So this teenager thing is kind of wearing on me. Not like a nice fitting dress either. Ya know the kind that makes you feel beautiful and unstoppable. More like an awkward bulky sweater that is itchy and uncomfortable. I'm not sure how to tackle these teenage years. I wish teenagers could just flash forward to the later years and see how things they do now effect their future. I try to be understanding and open. I tell him he can talk to me about everything. But come on, does anyone know a teenager that is 100 percent open with their parents??? There are still things that I did as a teenager that I as an adult wouldn't feel comfortable telling my parents. Mostly because I wouldn't want to disappoint them. Truth is I did plenty of things that disappointed them. Some they found out about, others they still don't know about.

 I have talked to my kids from a very young age about drugs, drinking, and sex. Some people may not agree with me on this. I actually drug test my teenager from time to time. Not because he is some druggie either. I test him because I have heard that drugs are very available in our school.  A lot of us think "Not my kid". Since I'm a professional TV watcher. I have watched a lot of shit TV and a lot of informative TV. Lots of talk shows on kids and drugs. Every time I watched the parents had no idea their kids were in trouble. They were athletes and straight A students. It's not because they are bad parents. No parent wants to see their kid go down that road. Kids are master manipulators. We as parents have to be one step ahead while we can. This is one thing I can't ignore. I have seen first hand how drugs can tear a family apart. You feel helpless. I believe no one wants to be an addict either. It is a disease. I bet any addict would look back on their life and change it if they could. Drugs weren't a big thing in my high school. I actually only heard of a few people that did them. I saw a few people smoke pot in high school. I never saw anyone do hard drugs. It's different now. We have to do everything we can to stop it.

I don't even do it because I don't trust him. What I don't trust at his age is peer pressure. I think we forget how hard peer pressure is at that age. High school is the years where a lot of us are not confident enough in ourselves to be the one who says "NO". We don't want to look stupid or be the chicken shit. We also think we are invincible at this age.  Teenagers only see the the now....at least most of them. I don't think most of them see what you do now can affect not only who you become but what happens in your future. Most teenagers have not yet experienced a lot of bad stuff. They have not had friends that overdosed or became addicts.  If anything by drug testing him I have given him a way out from peer pressure. He can say..."I can't my parents test me and my mom would go bat shit crazy if I test positive". Still I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.  Am I over the top????? This is a sticky subject for sure. Some people may agree with me and others think I'm crazy.

It's funny because I have talked to them from such a young age about sticky stuff. They have always told me "I will never do any of that stuff". When they were young I thought..."Damn, I'm totally ahead of the game" "I got this".  But when they get older they start to become more adventurous. I'm lucky because I have good hearted kids for the most part. They have not done anything life shattering yet. But they do make mistakes. What I forget is I'm not raising perfect kids either, as much as I hoped I was.  I'm here to pick up the pieces and hopefully guide them to be successful, respectable, adults. I have to remember we learn from mistakes.

I think it's really hard to raise kids now. There is way too much information available to them. They know too much and see too much from a young age. Even if we shelter them, there are friends that tell them stuff or show them something. We can't be there all the time. I will never forget when I was at the park in about 5th grade. My friends and I were on those spring animals. I was just bouncing back and forth on my animal. Minding my own business, happy not knowing adult things. My friend told me about sex. I was shocked. I thought about my grandma first. She was like the women in the shoe. She had lots of kids. I couldn't believe she had done that sex thing so many times. It really bothered me. I thought she only did that for kids. Why else would someone do that?????? It truly is something I will never forget and didn't want to know then. I really just wanted to play on that spring animal and think of my Grandma making mac and cheese not whoopie.

Now we are dealing with YouTube, Facebook, instagram, twitter, phones, and snap chat. My head spins thinking about it. So kids can YouTube anything. I have researched. Pull up any drug on there. It tells you how to not only make it but how enjoyable it is.  Not to mention all the jackass dangerous stunts kids see on there.They want to be those jackasses. Having no idea the dangers of the stunts. They make them look fun and cool. Most of those stunts can kill you.  Facebook, jeez...."hey look at me" "look at what you weren't invited to" "Let me insult you and your pictures". "Look at me half naked" "Look at my muscles" "look at what I'm doing". "Look where I am" "look what I have". Instagram...another "hey look at me" thing. Phones.....damn...no one talks it's all text.  Texting makes you be able to say things you would never say to a persons face. It's not great, even something simple can be taken the wrong way. Hello we are raising kids who don't talk in person. That's a problem.  Twitter...do people really care what you have to tweet about???? Or do they just judge and talk about you.  Are our kids mature enough to handle all this judgment???? I struggle with it as an adult. Then there is a new one. "Snap chat" this it an app. where a picture flashes for a few minutes to someone and then disappears. Now think about this! What good can come of this kind of thing for teenagers?? So like I said, It's really hard to parent now. With all this to keep up with. Trying to help them make good decisions. Look at TV and music now. TV shows make teen sex normal, affairs normal, lying and cheating normal. There is a lot to overcome for us parents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a brighter note I had a funny "WTF"parenting moment this weekend. Pig Pen picked out a cake at the store. While I was watching TV I saw him walk by with the cake. A few minutes later I hear a blow dryer. I go in to see what he's doing. He is blow drying the cake. I ask..."What the hell are you doing??". He says..."It's frozen, I'm trying to thaw it out".

50 shades of get a grip!

 While Kelly aka.....Twisty was here we headed out to the barber shop. Not to get our haircut either. The barber shop is an old barber shop turned into a bar here. I got Kelly reading 50 shades of Grey while she was here. My friend met us out and brought book two for us. Our inner Goddess jumped for joy. We were on the hunt for a look at our famous resident here. I had seen him there two weeks before. No such luck. I tell you what though we were like the cat's meow in this place. It's kind of fun to be the cat's meow, it doesn't happen very often. The bar was not very busy. There were about seven guys in there. Most had their beer goggles on. Right away a round of drinks was sent over for us. I guess the guy had used the "F" word. He felt bad he said it in front of us. He was at the bar, we weren't even paying attention to him. We were too busy talking about 50! The "F" word really doesn't offend me anyway. Unless of course someone is telling me to "F" off. If I wasn't so distracted by the 50 shades conversation I would have said......."Thank you for the Fing beer". There is something fun about shocking someone.

 I don't know why but Kelly and I have a gift for attracting "tools". In this case we attracted the biggest drunk tool in the place. Kelly...aka...Twisty was caught trying to read in the bar. I sent the drunk tool over to call her ass out. This opened up the door for drunk tool boy. He walked back over with Kelly and sat with us. He talked as if he had a mouth full of marbles. Then he spilled his beer all over the table. Then he ordered another because God knows he needed it. We couldn't get rid of drunk tool boy. He was most annoying. He first told us he owned a body shop in Drip. Then he said he had lived five different places in the last year. Working at different body shops. My guess is he is full of shit about being an owner of one. I know why we can't get rid of him. Kelz and I have a hard time being mean to people. We don't want to hurt anyone's feeling. In this case we should have, he would have never remembered it the next day. Last time she was here we went to the barber shop. We picked up a tool in a wife beater that night.

The tool was starting to get annoying. So annoying that the bartender even stopped Twisty to ask her if he needed to leave. Twisty being the nice person she is tells him it is fine. We are trying to have a deep conversation about 50. We can't get the tool to shut up! We give him the book to read. This ended up getting rid of him. Should handed marble man that book as soon as he sat down. The guy was like a walking add for "do not drink too much". Twisted Sisters trip went way too fast as usual. I really have the best time when she is here. I wish we could live by each other.


Last night we went to our friends Rick Trevino's concert. The kids had a bast because they got to go back stage. They thought they were all that and a bag of chips. When I got them up for school Aidan...aka...pigpen didn't feel well. At first I didn't believe him. We had a little fight and then I realized he just might not feel well. I had to go to work. I let him sleep while I opened the model. It was cute the best dog ever was in bed with him. He had his paw over his chest. At lunch I picked him up and took him up to work with me. This is when I realized I had been snowed. We keep soda at my work. I don't keep it at my house for a reason. He has one and morphs right into a crazy person before my eyes. He is messing around the model driving me nuts. The builder comes in to work. We share an office. I tell him I had to bring Aidan in because he is sick. He grins at me and says......."yeah he looks real sick". It's one of those shameful mommy moments for me.

After a while it is time for school to let out. I work right across from the school. Cole walks over and is invited to go to the pool with friends. Aidan wants to go too. I tell him he can't stay home from school and then go to the pool. He is pouting and crying about this. He tells me I'm the worst mom ever. I tell him you have no idea what a worst mom ever is! He says...."yes I do it's you". There are times when you are a parent and you can't believe what a little shit you raised. You feel ashamed because you know you would have never said things like this to your parents. You would have thought that but never voiced your ignorant opinion. You feel guilty thinking...what have I done wrong. It doesn't stop there he tells me he is going to mess up my model to make me mad since I made him mad. MAD????? You have no idea how mad I can get. As far as messing my model up. Have at it kid, you will regret that. I can mess up your life no questions asked. I own your ass right now and we could have a pleasant short time together or I can make it hell on you. You choose, it's up to you! Yes, I did tell him all of this. He realized he crossed the mommy sanity line. Next thing I know he is hugging me telling me he thinks I'm a great mom and he is sorry. I stand off at first. He really chapped my ass. He keeps coming around the corner with this cute face asking me if I'm still mad. I tell him my feelings are hurt more than I'm mad. I'm really madder than a wet Rooster. His face gets me and we hug it out. His wife is going to hate me some day!!!!!

Hub's is a little late coming home from work. He had to drive a hour an a half to pick up my lost phone. Whole nother blog on that. I had called him and complained about pigpen when he was being mean to me. So Hub's gets up to my work. I'm deep into the second 50 shades of Grey book. Aidan is watching the Disney channel and eating all the candy in my model. I walk out with them when they are leaving. Hub's stops Aidan and says..."I heard you were pretty disrespectful to your mom today". Aidan pushes the line with me but never with Hub's. Aidan looks up at him like a deer in head lights and shakes his head. Hub's keeps lecturing him. He keeps looking at Hub's shaking his head with tears in his eyes. I want to take him and hug him. I know I can't because he was wrong and he needs to learn. Being a mom is just so hard. Hub's and I fight over stupid shit all the time. What I have always loved about him is he always calls the kids out if they are not respecting me. He has a lot of respect for his mom and that is a quality I looked for in a man. I always thought if a guy is not good to his mom he will be good to me. It's a respect thing for women. You never want to see your kids sad. You want perfect kids and a perfect life. Unfortunately that is not how the world works.


They leave and I go back to 50! I'm starting to really get what the big hoopla is with these books. I think most women have been in or are in a relationship where we want to change the guy. This girl takes one fucked up dude and changes him fast too. We are intrigued by this. This just doesn't happen in real life. The plus is the guy makes 100 thousand dollars an hour. Yes, they say that in the book. This is a women's fantasy. A guy we can change that happens to be a billionaire. This book also makes you feel the long over "new be" feeling. You know the feeling you used to get when you were first dating someone. The kind that makes you smile all day. The kind that makes you sing out loud in your car. The kind that makes you feel sexy. It's sad that, that "new be" feeling doesn't last!!!! It is like a drug. So a girlfriend of mine was in front of the model. I went out to chat with her. About 50 of course. I have everyone I know reading this. The very young "hot" guys are doing the lawn as were chatting. She is leaving and the young hot yard guys put on the sprinklers. I look at them and say...Hey are you trying to get me wet"? As this is coming out of my mouth I realize how dirty it can be taken. I really didn't mean it in the dirty sense. They laugh and I think.....get a grip, Mrs. Robinson! I don't want to leave work because I'm deep in the second book. I go back to reality. Back to fighting kids who can't find their SHIT.

I decide to take off for a bike ride. I borrow Blake's beats headphones. I blast the Pandora Adele station. I ride at sunset. I love riding at sunset, you see deer in front of you on the bike paths out here. I have to be careful because I have a bad habit of singing out loud when I have these beats on. Especially after a day of reading 50 shades. At one point I pass a ripped fine ass dude. I can't help but imagine something dirty. Remember I'm reading 50 shades, so give me a pass on this one!!!!! I have never seen this guy before. So don't worry I'm not imagining anyone I know Hub's! My imagination quickly goes south! I think damn muffin top is not sexy! I can never be naked in the light!!!! I would never be able to relax. Then that damn being raised Irish Catholic kicks in. When your raised Irish Catholic you are raised to feel guilty even about thoughts! You fear God! So my guilty pleasure was cut really short.


I have gotten a lot of readers on this blog recently. I know this from Feedjit. I love to look at feedjit. It tells you what readers are "googling" to get here. What feedjit tells me is there are lots of people "googling" famous penis. I wrote about that once. There are also lots of booger eaters out there. I wrote about that once too. I alway have this fear that I will have nothing to say, but there is always something with three boys, an anal hubby, and a perfect dog. I read back and I learn from my mistakes, I laugh at things I don't remember, I cry, I cringe at my spelling and bad grammar, and then I think on some never blog with a beer in your system. Holy hell I'm putting myself out there to be judged and talked about. Well have fun with that because I'm also giving my kids a book to read and teach them that life is not perfect, it is hard, and I try to write about true feelings. My oldest came down tonight as I was writing. We had a brief conversation about kids he knew that were doing dugs. I told him that kids will make you feel stupid for not doing drugs but you need to stay strong. He told me he was offered drugs. I was trying to stay cool but geez these kids are only 14. I was very proud when he told me he said he was not interested because of football. I got the summer football times and wanted him to not to play. Not after this!!!! I will give up my summer and get him there with bells on!!!!!!! Anything to keep my precious baby moving in the right direction!!!!!!! I really don't know what I did right with this first. I was really young and dumb when I had him. This kid has NEVER said I was the worst mom ever.
Of course he is no where near perfect either. I don't know where I went wrong with the other two. They have both said I'm the worst mom ever! More to come from these people I live with! So much more since a feedjit made me laugh out loud today!!!! Sorry again for bad writing...once again it's way too late to proof read.

Fredricksburg

My Mom...aka..Positive Patty and I headed into Fredricksburg for the day.

Ella...aka...the Golden Jerk decided to stay home with the boys and go swimming. What a poser...right???? I wonder who she gets that from.

Oh She is an "EDWARD" lover too! I can't imagine who she gets that from. Can you say brainwashed!

Right before you get to Fredricksburg there is the most amazing nursery. It is called Wildseed farm. It has 200 acres of flowers. It has a little shop there too.

There is also alittle wine, beer, and cheese bar. I should have known to steer Positive Patty clear of here! She is like a professional shopper. She takes FOREVER looking around!!! I'm the complete opposite of her when it comes to shopping. So while she shops I stroll around the gardens thinking about that 50 shades book.

Who knew there is a town named after me. I think I shall move there and become mayor. In my town it would be something similar to the stepford wives town. Except it would be the stepford husbands town. The husbands would act more like chicks. I would be drugging their beers of course. Oh wait it would be the stepford husbands and kids town. I would drug them all....evil laugh. The husbands would find all the shit their people could not find. They would act like dogs tails wagging when their masters came home. They would stay at home and do all the shit around the house. This is while their wives traveled and had adult conversations all day. They would quote Oprah and be as cute as Nate Berkus. They would hang on our words instead of asking the same question five times before they heard the answer. They would be too tired to put out at the end of the day. The kids would brush their teeth without being told ten times. They would pick the friends that you felt are good for them. They would have perfect grades and perfect manners. They would never be hurt or sick. We would all be rich and do great things for our friends and family. Last but not least the hot vamp would live in our town...my town. There would be no WTF moments of parenting! We would be doing what we truly loved and had passion for. OMG, someone stop me!!!! I'm going off the deep end again. Someone slap me back to reality.

Thinking about WTF moments of parenting....I of course had another this week. Cole came home yesterday. He said they were learning about inventions in school. They have to come up with one. He said his is a giant boob with a tube connected to it. This boob will produce milk for all the parentless kids in the world that don't have a mom to breast feed them. I'm seriously thinking WTF in my head! I'm laughing at the same time....but really????? What do his teachers think of me!

So I preach to my kids and on here not to judge people. I know good and well being raw and honest in this blog puts myself out there for judging. I always say people are judging you all the time. Most of the time to make themselves feel better. I saw a great post that said...Do not judge me unless you have walked in my shoes and do not talk about me unless you talk to me first. So true. I struggle with the judging thing as much as the next person. Someone called me out about making a judgement. There are few people that call me out. My sis and this person come to mind....My mom of course too...but that's what moms do. I respect their honesty. I feel I need to be called out when I do it so I can do better. I wish I had the courage to call people out. I don't really enjoy confrontation though. I feel bad because I was not the one judging but I was the one listening. I should have stuck up for this person. I will not blog about who this was it could be a family member or a friend.  It really doesn't matter. I just know I preach to my kids to be kind to people and never judge them. Yet I find in my forties I still making those mistakes! There are a lot of situations I have judged and found myself in the same situation later....Karma is really a bitch! I'm going to make an effort to be a better friend and a better person. People trust you with their secrets for a reason. They are not yours to talk about or judge.

Blake is still struggling with middle school drama. Don't think I don't want to act like a crazy person and fight his battles for him. Facebook for middle school kids is the devil. Kids say the most awful things that they would never say to a kids face. I check Blake's Facebook page like a helicopter mother. I see a cute picture of him in school. He has a big foam over sized hat on. The girl that posted it said fun times with Blake Cavender in class. I notice that there are  51 comments under this post. Of course I pull them up. There are boys saying "dislike", "Fagot", "gay boy"....and so on. I see my son who post......you don't even know me and why are you looking and commenting on my picture...who is the gay fag???? As much as I want to ring those haters neck I want to ring Blake's just as much. I have told him time and time again to take the high road and not fuel the fire. Don't think I didn't want to fight these haters on Facebook too.  He is right the kids that posted those comments are in high school and don't know my son. I wish that their mothers were watching their pages as I do. I would be so upset if I ever saw my kid bullying someone on Facebook. I don't even like the fact that he gave them the satisfaction of fighting back. I wish my kid knew that middle school and high school is a very short time in your life. It doesn't seem like it at the time but it is. The sad thing is I don't want these haters to change who he can be and break his spirit. I feel bad for kids now. It was hard to be in middle school and high school before social media. Can you imagine growing up now???? People judging you and making fun of you for everyone to see and put their two cents in. As we get older we get a filter...these kids have no filter. I have said it before......but because of social media we are raising kids that are going to have thick skins and that is sad to me. That should not happen at such a young age.

We as parents want to shield our kids for as long as we can from the evils of the world. We want them to enjoy their childhood for as long as they can. We don't want them to grow up too fast. To be in hurry to have their first drink or their first sex. Most us know they are too young for this. If only we could age in reverse we would all be golden. Well most of us. Facebook is in my mind making them grow up too fast. Now I'm a Facebook lover...junkie for sure. I don't use it to make fun of people though. I think for me it is you feel invisible at times and it gets you out there. I have loved the most reconnecting with people from my childhood. I'm an Irish catholic school girl. When you grow up in Chicago Irish catholic you go to school the same people your whole life. You know them well and know their families because your in church every Sunday with them. I love reconnecting with those people the most! My best childhood memories lay with them. Kinda of mad that the boy I loved all through catholic school is not on Facebook......just saying! I hope he is doing well even though he never gave me the time of day and I'm still bitter. But this is what I'm talking about. If I'm still bitter at 42 because a boy I thought I loved didn't talk to me.......what is Facebook doing to our kids????????? Maybe I'm a rambling crazy person but I think it is breaking their spirit. Can you imagine at the day and age when you took everything to heart seeing pics of a party your not invited to??? I breaks my heart thinking about this. Think about it....is Facebook ruining the person are kids are meant to be???? So sorry I know bad grammar and miss spellings plus rambling!!!!!!!

Just another day in LaLa land.

 I spent the day with my favorite dog! I was watching my favorite Dr OZ guy the other day. He was talking about what is your problem area. Butt, stomach, arms, thighs, or all over. My butt is looking aright. My biggest problem now is my tummy. I know how to fix it but I have little will power. He said if your tummy is your problem you need to eat a certain breakfast. So this am I made two eggs, one avocado, two tomatoes, whole wheat muffin, and a slice of swiss cheese. Now I have never been a breakfast girl. Gives me a stomach ache. I usually have a Dr Pepper for breakfast. I'll give this a try and see if it works.  I'm back on my workout wagon again. I have been keeping a journal of the days I workout. So out of 17 days this month I have worked out nine. Still not getting the results I thought I would get. It's really frustrating. While pinning stuff in my fake Pinterest world I had "The Revolution" on in the background. They were talking about people who workout and don't get the results they want. They said after a certain age 90 percent is the foods you eat! I'm fucked! I have this weird love affair with food lately!!!! I didn't used to love food this much. I don't know what happened. Dr Oz says to drink two glasses of H2O before you eat. This will make you eat less! Beer doesn't count damn it!  So I find myself in my mirror in my underwear after I workout. I do this every time thinking this body is going to miraculously change into a Victoria's secret models bod! I think I'm going to workout in my underwear so I can really scare myself into eating right! Scary thought huh???? Of course I will not do this when anyone is home. Could you imagine what my big mouth kids would tell people! My already shit name would be even shittier here! Let's give them something to talk about!

 Had to take a picture of this! I love my rose bushes. They are beautiful this year. So my girlfriend was over while our kids played. Blake came down and we were picking his brain about who the bad kids are and what they are doing. We were talking with him about how bad under age drinking is. He looks at us and says....you guys drink! I say there is no reason to drink at your age. Everything is new an exciting. We drink because we are gerbils in a wheel. Doing the same thing over and over. Laundry, cleaning, driving people, finding every ones crap, going to games, putting out, wiping down counters, and way more but too much to go on!!!! Alright so I didn't say this but I sure thought it!!!! I tell him we drink responsibly and we are of age. I find myself telling him alcoholism runs in our family. I always hated when my Mom used to say that! I find myself saying lots of things I hated hearing my Mom say! I guess she was right! Damn that hurts coming out! I think it's never too early to start talking to your kids about drinking and drugs!!!!

So I tried to eat healthily smoothies today instead of burgers and Dr Peppers! I hope I can stick to this!!!! My little ones and I always lay in their beds and talk at night. Aidan asks me if my boobs make milk. I was not expecting this one!!!!!!!!! It was a typical "WTF" moment in motherhood for me! I ask him why would you ask me that and better yet where did you hear it. He said Tit's McGee master of boobs said it. I seriously almost fell off the bed. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I ask who the heck is tits McGee and where have you seen him. He said a friend told him about him. OH MY...Thank God it is not a kid that frequent flies at our house. I have to tell him about why boobs make milk. Not ready for this with him. I tell him it's not nice to talk about that kind of stuff and TIT is a very inappropriate word. I never want to hear him use that! It is disrespectful to women. Who knew motherhood would be so full of "WTF" moments!!!! I hope Dad...aka...Grumps doesn't read this one! He hates when I cuss! Just another day in LaLa land for me!

The truce is over!

Valentines Day has come and gone once again! Cole was really excited to get a Valentine from Brooke.
He was even more excited to give her the one he picked out for her. Notice I'm not saying anything about my Valentine. That's all I will say! You can fill in the blanks with something juicy or not so juicy.
I swear sometimes these kids make me want to SCREAM! Aidan had to fill out a worksheet this week about where all his family came from. Thursday I headed to a track meet and didn't get home till 9:30. Cole and Aidan were in bed when I got home. All the sudden I feel this little tap at my side. I look down and there stands Aidan with a typical Aidan face. This is a face he makes when he knows he is about to be in trouble. He says in his very soft spoken voice....Mom I need to bring some German food to school. Before I even get the words out of my mouth I think I'm going to kill him if he says tomorrow. Sure as shit he says tomorrow. I say....You can't tell me this kind of stuff at 9:30 the night before. He says.....But you were gone all night. I say....There is no way your teacher told you the day before. I tell him to go bed and that he will have to take a zero on this one. Blake my oldest would not think twice if I told him something like this. He would go back to bed and sleep like a baby. Aidan on the other hand is a perfectionist, an over thinker, and a worry wort. He goes back up to bed. A few minutes goes by and I hear this little crying voice calling Mom from upstairs. I go up and he is pleading with me to please send him with something. I tell him again that he can not pull this crap the night before. I explain that I have to work all day tomorrow which is going to make this impossible to happen. He cries and cries. Guess who feels guilty! That's right me! Even though I know I shouldn't, this is not my fault. So I go back downstairs. A few more minutes goes by, another tap at my side. Mind you this kid is supposed to be asleep by 8:30. We are now at almost ten. He now says....I need a picture! I say...OF WHAT!!!!!!! He says of our relatives that came from Germany, Ireland, or Poland! So what I'm thinking in my head is.......FUCKKKKKK, DO YOU WANT ME TO PULL THIS SHIT OUT OF MY ASS, I DON'T HAVE THAT! So I tell him I would have needed more notice for that too. I would have had to call on Grandma weeks ago for that. I tell him I do have a photo album of pictures from Germany. I lived there till I was almost two. I tell him that will have to do. Aidan is a detail kind of guy. He asks if there are any pictures of people in there that originated from Germany. I say...NO, but it will have to do. He is not happy. I want to say just lie and say one of the German people in the album is your relative that originated from there. I know I can't teach him that even though that would shut him up. I can be all for lazy parenting but I don't want him to think it's alright to lie. My guess is because he is an over thinking stress ball, he is not sleeping right now! He is probably stressing about all this. The sad thing is SO AM I.

Don't be feeling sorry for the little shit! Monday night he came down after he was supposed to be in bed. I got the little tap with the pathetic face. He said....Mom I'm the star of the week. I say....Because it's your birthday this week? He says...Yes, but I need like six pictures of me doing stuff I love. Night before once again after nine. Now I don't know about you but since digital camera's came out I don't have snap shots lying around. Oh yes and the printer isn't working. So I find myself scrambling for pictures of him. I did have a few soccer prints. So I pretty much sent him with three soccer prints from the same day, a thank you card I had made on shutterfly with his picture on it, I took two pictures out of frames, and made this work. Not what I would have done if I HAD ANY NOTICE! Now my Mom and Dad are visiting at this time. My Dad has no tolerance for this but my Mom is always feeling bad for him and trying to solve his self inflicted problems. Just a side note....She never did that for me. It's amazing how they change when they are Grandparents! I would have loved to grow up with this women who makes an excuse for every off the wall thing these kids do.
This week was Cole and Aidan's birthday. I know it's lazy parenting to make them share a cake and a party most years. It is what it is though. If Aidan had been a planned pregnancy I would have not planned on his birthday being the day before Cole's. How does that happen anyway??? Wait don't answer that!
Aidan ends up crying, to tell you the truth I don't even remember about what. I just know I'm trying to get a....."you can cry on your birthday if you want too"....picture. As I'm doing this he starts to laugh.
Mom...aka...positive Patty and Dad...aka...Grumps always come in right between my birthday, Cole, and Aidan's to celebrate. Let me just say I don't really like sharing my month with them but is is my fault for sure. Planned pregnancy comes to mind. What I love is with my Patty and my Grumps comes Garrett and Lou. When I say this it means Garrett's Popcorn and Lou Malnati's pizza. Two of Chicago's famous things. My Dad laughs because I horde these things like a five year old when they bring them. I hide them. I get mad when these people I live with find them and try to eat them. I'm selfish like that. My parents bring them for me because they are my favorites and I want them all to myself! This usually goes over like a fart in church and I have to share.
I can't tell you how many times Grumps says....Kerry, I don't know how you do this! Guess what neither do I! Someday I just hope they will read this and buy me some great convertible.
Seriously?????? These people I live with are driving me crazy. So many times I want to hold up that white flag. I don't I keep going, cleaning behind them, taking them to practices, watching their games, finding their shit, doing their laundry, getting them up, keeping up with their stuff, solving their problems, listening to them fight, watching them make asses out of themselves, and so on and so on!
On Aidan's birthday hub's had a work dinner. I told Aidan we could go out to eat and he could pick the place. BTW, this kid argued hard with me about going to school on his birthday. He found it most unfair that he had to do things like math on his birthday. Even though I kind of agreed I made him go. Anyway Aidan wanted to go to Freddie's steak burger place for his night. As much as I'm trying to lose weight having kids will never allow this. I took him, his friend, and my kids there. We ate like pigs!
Yes, we got desert too! The funny thing is. He said don't tell them it's my birthday. He said he did not want to be embarrassed if they sang to him. In the next sentence he says well maybe you can tell them. A kid after my own heart. He secretly likes to be the center of attention. So we sing and he acts like he hates it smiling the whole time.
With birthdays comes cupcakes for classrooms and on-line shopping. I have a real beef with on-line shopping. These kids today find shit on-line that would have never known existed. This is a thorn in my side for sure. If I had to do it over again I would be an Internet free home. They call me in the office to show me all the shit they find on-line and want me to magically put in my credit card so it will appear on my porch in a few days. Bullshit I say! The sad thing is lazy parenting kicks in at times and I buy the crap to shut them up. The picture above is a present Aidan got from his friend Jett. I always go up before I go to bed to see how much more I love these people when they are asleep. I had to laugh at this. When I looked at it, it reminded me of me. The babies are sleeping soundly and I look like a crazed bug eyed person not being able to sleep. For I'm thinking of all the on line shopping and all the shit that needs to get done! I am that bug eyed freak in his bed.
So finally to my truce is over story. My friend Erin and I who watch "The River" together have been pranking each other on stuff that goes on, on the show. We have planted dolls everywhere you can imagine. She called a truce. But then gave me a scary nun doll for my birthday damn thing is watching me right now. I say the truce isn't over. She calls me Tuesday night to watch the show. On last weeks episode there were these awful leaches crawling on a few of the people. While watching it I felt almost sick to my stomach. I hate bugs more than anything. So I went to a fishing shop this week to buy big fishing leaches to throw in her bed. I go over to her house to watch the show. I have six big rubber leaches in my pocket. I'm just waiting for the right time to excuse myself to use the bathroom and throw the leaches in her bed. So half way through the show I say I need to use the restroom. I really don't but I go in there and flush anyway. Her powder bath is right next to her bedroom. I go to throw those rubber leaches in her bed and I find her son son in there reading. I look at him like a deer in head lights, I throw the leaches and say don't tell your Mom! He gives me a thumbs up. After the show I run home because I fear bugs hitting my face after the show. See I am running! I get a text from her daughter that says....I see what you did! I text back and say don't warn your Mom. She text back alright! I wait for a dramatic freak out from Erin. What I get is a text picture with the leaches in her hand that says....For every worm I found you earned yourself a hanging man. Not the "one upper" reaction I was hoping for! So sorry for miss spelling and bad grammar, after I write I'm too tired to proof read. My Mom hates this. I think she should step up and offer to be my ghost writer!!!!!

Xmas in Dallas

We spent X-mas is Dallas with Hub's family. The only thing missing was my sweet niece. She had to spend X-mas with the other side of her family. Hopefully she will come for a visit to Austin soon. As you can see from the picture above my kids are those "hey look at me" kind of kids. I have no idea where they can possibly get this from. It can be most annoying. I'm used to being the center of attention. How dare they steal my thunder.
Christmas Eve is always a big night at their house. This time unfortunately MiMi was not feeling so great. Not to mention my brother in law ended up in the emergency room for his back. We made the best of it and got our cocktail on!
Blake tried like hell to annoy my sister in law.
Did I ever tell you I like the dog more than the people I live with most of the time!
Hey kid you just ain't that funny. I'm the funny one in this house even though you don't see that now.
Hub's got me a new camera for Xmas. I crazy love it. I don't know at all how much it can do. I have been trying to watch videos on you tube about it. I wish there was a hard drive we could plug in our ear and all the info would up load to the brain! It all overwhelmed me. Where is that damn easy button they advertise on the commercials?
On our way out we stopped by Frisco square to see all the Xmas lights. This makes me miss living in Frisco.

So today my head is heavy. I'm wondering why the years have gone so fast. I sound like one of my elderly relatives about now. I kind of hate that. Sometimes I feel like a 16 year old trapped in a 40 something year old body. Sitting here stressed wondering when my first born grew up. It's a scary thing when you watch your child's innocence slip away. I found out recently and I mean recently that my kid tried a drink. I have very mixed feeling about this. I was a kid once, I remember trying my first drink way too young. I guess I just thought I had raised somewhat perfect children and I didn't imagine myself dealing with this so fast. So my BFF from HS came for a visit last week. Let me tell you this took me right back to HS we took off as if no time was lost. That is one of the great things about people you truly connect with. I went to get us a drink from the outside fridge. I noticed three Mike's hard lemonades that someone had left here were empty in the fridge. One.....I would never drink that shit, two no adult would never put empties back in the fridge with the cap put back on. So I walk in with my tail between my legs two full drinks in my hand and the empties to show Hub's. I tell Hub's Blake is drinking. He walks upstairs to talk with Blake about this. He comes down and says Blake didn't drink them and goes to bed.

I may have believed this nonsense in my younger years but I'm old and I have seen too much. I call bullshit. So Blake comes down after Hub's goes to bed. I look at him and say.....you may have snowed your Dad but I know damn well you drank those lemonades. He gives me a half ass crossed smile and I see right through him. I tell him....I was a kid once (thinking much smarter than him, I would have got rid of those empties) I drank and did stuff I wasn't supposed to. I tell him if he tells me the truth I will not be mad at all. So he tells me him a few friends tried the Mikes hard lemonade. As much as I want to ring his neck I can't because I told him I wouldn't be mad if he told me the truth. Damn it I want to cry like a baby about now. This is my baby, my first born, I want everything to be perfect for him. I don't want him to want to try a drink. Since I said I would not be mad all I can do is question him and put my two cents in that he can probably doesn't give a shit about. I ask him if he felt anything like a buzz. He says No. I say then why would you try it. He says just curious. I tell him he needs to be careful because alcoholism runs in our family and I wouldn't want to see him get sucked into that. I have a flash back of my Mother telling me the same thing. When she would say things like that I would roll my eyes behind her and think she was clueless.

I remember my first drink. I was in my second year of hs. My friend Laura lived in an apartment building with her single mother and her older brother. I had no desire to drink. She said hey lets play quarters. I had no idea what quarters even was. Yet I found myself mid day shooting quarters and doing shots of whiskey. I barfed before my Dad even got there to pick me up. I remember waiting for him in her parking lot. I was kinda stumbling around waiting for him. I can't believe that he did not know I was drunk. I think my Dad and Mom were so innocent when they were young and got married right out of HS. They never would have imagined that I would drink at such a young age. I was drunk for sure. There were a handful of times when I was drunk and my parents had no clue.

My favorite story is when I was a junior. I had gone to a party where we were playing quarters. Someone drove me home, I think he was drunk, scary right! I remember barfing right before I got home. It was back when banana clips were in. I came in drunk off my ass. I crawled up the stairs. I had that banana clip and all my hair was hanging out of it. Mom and Dads room was at the top of the stairs. Dad comes out in his tightly whities. He asks what is wrong with me. I tell him I'm sick, I think I have the flue. I crawl, and I mean crawl to bathroom where I barf up whiskey. Dad stands over me....can't believe he can't smell the whiskey. He gets me to bed. I pass out. All the sudden he is in my room with a phone in his hand. He tells me my friends Dad is on the phone. He wants to know where his daughter is. I'm thinking shit....last I saw her she was shooting whiskey at the party. I have no idea what happened to her! So he gives me the phone back in the time where phones were connected to cords. I grab the phone and I'm talking into it upsides down. My Dad is like Kerry turn the phone over. I turn it over and remind my Dad that I'm sick. I don't know if my Dad ever knew I was drunk that night or if he decided not to deal with. I thought I got off Scott free for sure.

So anyway this is why my head is heavy. I know damn well that when I drank in my younger years I could not handle it. Here is the thing I was never a big drinker in those years. It was so few times that I can re count every time. What I think was when I had those few times I was way too young to handle it. It was never fun I always ended up sick. I'm not ready at all to deal with this as a parent. I'm at a loss here. I know some people reading this are judging me as a parent. But for those of you judging me think long and hard back to your youth. Were you the kid that never had a drink??? I'm sure that some of you may have been. But there are those that did have a drink. So my question is how do I do the right thing for my kid???? I'm being totally serious right now. I'm really wondering how to handle under age drinking. These people I live with are going to do me in for sure! I'm at that point where DRINKS can't be available in my house. Hello padded cell my name is Kerry! So sorry for bad spelling and bad grammar..... I think I can write but I re read and I want to die!

MaMa, the housewife

Hope your enjoying this collection of Scary Kerry holiday insanity songs. It's the only thing that is keeping me sane this Christmas break. If you could see me writing them that is the funny part. I sing them, I giggle, and my hub's says I look ridiculous. This latest one is inspired by the song "Frosty the snowman". When I rewrote it and put my evil genius stamp on it, I called it...."Mama, the housewife". For your reading pleasure Please sing while you read this to the Frosty the snowman melody. It's sure to brighten your day.

Mama, the housewife, was not a jolly, happy soul......

With a kid over here and a kid over there......

She felt like she could blow......

Mama, the housewife, is no fairy tail...they say....

She was mad as HELL and the children knew to stay the HELL away.....

There must have been some magic in that beer she shot gunned down........

For when she finished, she began to dance around.......

Oh Mama, the housewife, was as buzzed as she could be....

And the children say they no longer had that fear.......

As long as Mama had a beer......

Thumpety, Thump, Thump, Thumpety, Thump, Thump......

Look at Mama go.......

Thumpety, Thump, Thump, Thumpety, Thump, Thump......

Check out that pyramid grow.....

Mama, the housewife, knew the night was getting late......

So she said...."This better be my last, or I'll just go to my ass"....

Up the stairs she went....with that beer in her hand......

Running here and there, shit is everywhere.....

Sayin.......I can barely frickin stand........

She yelled as loud as she could, get your ass in bed, or I'll give it a pop.......

They tried to escape for a moment and come back down the stairs.......

Then they heard her holler....STOP...........

For Mama the housewife, hadn't had enough that day....

But she kissed them goodnight, saying....Don't you cry....I'll be drunk again some day.......

I hope that everyone reading this knows I'm just poking fun at the craziness of Christmas break. I feel I should say I love my kids and don't get drunk off my ass all holiday season. CHEERS!

Sign wars!

Any of you who follow this blog know I have a crazy ass neighbor. So the other day I'm out in my backyard helping my kids build a football goal post out of pvc pipe. I know what your thinking....what a great mom I am! I have my moments. Truth be told I'm building this to get them the hell out of my house! This will cause then to spend hours out there trying to get the football through the thing. This for me means shit TV time for me. The crazy ass neighbor gets drunk off his ass every night and blast music. While I'm out there working he puts on....She's a black magic women. I start to dance around and sing because I can see him peeking at me through the fence. He then changes the music to a christian station. This always cracks me up. Maybe he should listen to what the Christians are singing about. A little time goes by and I hear something. I turn around and he is nailing a smiley face to his trellis facing my house.

This is a picture of his fence that faces my house. He added another smiley face.

He also has a private property sign and one that says....It's too loud your too old. Another neighbor called the police on him a few nights ago because his music was blaring. I guess he thinks it was us because that sign went up the next day.

While doing some after Halloween shopping I came across this cardboard Frankenstein. I know I'm just bending down to his level by putting it in my window facing his house. Four years of this shit had gotten old. I want to piss him off too now. I'll take him down when he takes his shit down.

Later that night I go back to the yard to put up the field goal. There are now two smiley faces back there. I guess he is getting drunk making these things to hang. The signs really don't bother me. It's the barking at me from over the fence, It's the fact that he yells "fuck you" at me when he sees me, and the fact that he gets a camera out and takes pictures of me while I'm in my yard. What makes me the most mad is he scares and intimidates my kids. He keeps their balls if they go over the fence and then calls the police. We were at a German fest this past weekend. BTW, he is German with a strong German accent. No offence to Germans I happen to be German too. My youngest son passes a booth where they are selling balls. He looks at me and says....Why are they selling balls here, Germans hate balls! I say only the German next door hates balls. It's sad that he thinks Germans hate balls but this is what he has grown up with.

Blake...aka...the nasty ass teenager! Comes home from school and wants to get some new Xbox game. He has the money but he needs a ride. I tell him he has to vacuum the whole house first. To my surprise he moved chairs to vacuum. I'm shocked to tell you the truth.

Aidan....aka...pig pen!!!!! This kid insist on wearing white all the time! I'm going to start buying his clothes at the salvation army. Kid has a closet full of non white clothes but manages to come down in white everyday! This would be fine if he wasn't such a pig pen.

So I'm walking over to my other neighbors house and I see this in my neighbor....aka...the Germs driveway. Kind of looks like a body in a body bag. I walk into the other neighbors house and say....the Germ has a body in a body bag in his driveway as a joke of course. My neighbor starts to laugh because when he got home he told his wife the same thing. Sad thing is they have their house on the market because of him.

There is this thing on my blog called feedjit. While my sister..aka..Twisty was here a few weeks ago she told me you can click on that to see how people are getting to your blog. I thought most people were friends and family who read this. I guess when people "google certain things it brings them to my blog. I have become obsessed with clicking on this. Not because I'm wondering where my readers come from. It is because there is always something that cracks my ass up on there. So here are my top ten favorites this week. And yes this is only one week of crazies!

1.....Brown seed like things in my bed and on my clothes when I wake up. Don't know why this brought them to my blog. I have never woken up with brown seed like things in my bed! Though in my younger years I once woke up with something that I might have rather had brown seed like things! Now I find myself thinking about what the hell and why the hell someone is waking up with brown seeds in their bed!!!!!

2.....What time do hillbillies go to bed. Really what kind of crazy ass googles this!!!! Everyone knows hillbillies go to bed when the moonshine runs out!

3.....I fucked my Berlin neighbor. Really you google that???? Why do you have to google that after you do something like that? My crazy overactive mind starts to think...is this person married screwing their Berlin neighbor. What is their story I want to know. What I want to know more is why that google brought them to my blog.

4....Does something happen to you if you eat boogers? Now I know what brought them to my blog on this one. I brainwashed my kid into thinking he would turn green if he ate one and blogged about it. What I am thinking is what gross person is googling this question. Does he or she have a booger in their mouth while they google??? Food for thought!

5......Anal, 2011! Now I know exactly why this person landed on my blog by googling anal 2011. It's because I call Hub's anal boy. Bet they were slightly disappointed when they landed here. I have a feeling this was not what they were looking for.

6.....Tighty whities in the rain. Once again I know what brought them to my blog. I once blogged about my Dad...aka..Grumps waiting for me after a late night out in his tighty whities. Once again I believe this googling person was disappointed when they landed here.

7....GD physicals. Now I agree physicals suck but would never use Gods name in vein. I can cuss like a sailor which drives Grumps crazy but I never mess with Gods name. Wondering why in the world my blog would pop up when you google that.

8.....foot fetish.......Starting to think there's lots of strange ass people out there!

9......bunny has sores on anal. Thinking Hub's is anal brought them here. Wondering why someone is checking a bunny anal anyway. Hope they don't eat that one!

10....I'm not a doorknob where everyone gets a turn, I'm a casino where the lucky one takes a spin. OMG, Snookie reads my blog!

Who am I?

See this image of me above??????? Now this is me on Halloween. The sad thing is this is how I feel everyday now. Right now while I'm writing this I have a kitchen full of drunk men! Thank you Hub's. They are kind of funny on one hand an annoying as shit on the other. Wondering why men scream at each other while sitting across from each other while drunk. Wondering if women act the same way. Kind of makes me never want to drink again. They think they are funny but not so much. They talk shit just like a bunch of girls. Wow it's loud in here. They are all laughing loud as shit. Kind of want to chuck a beer at their heads. Now they are all talking like Hitler loud as shit laughing their ass off. Don't know how one could hear each other over the other. They are all talking at the same time. They just raised their glasses for me. I my have raised my finger under the table but they sure did not notice. Mixing drinks with a butcher knife is something I can say I have never seen till tonight. If they say it is "on like Donkey Kong" one more time my hair might just stand straight up. Just went to the bathroom and the seat was up! While I sat there I imagined giving someone in this house a swirly! So I may have a life-size Edward and Jacob cardboard cutout. Hub's thought it would be funny to bring them out and kick them in front of his friends. Guess who is not laughing. Yep that would be me!!!!!!! Annoying!!!!

So anyway, I went to the girl's basketball game to get head shots for buttons. I thought it would be a good idea to volunteer my time. As much as I love to give back it is a lot of time. I really like being involved in the kids things! That is until I lose 100 dollars worth of pictures in the parking lot. I did football action shots all season. I had run and got frames, put some of my best action shots in the frames. Had 100 dollars worth of stuff. I'm leaving and a mom who ordered a picture stops. I set the bag of framed pictures next to my car. Get home later, go to get the pics out of the car and they are lost in translation. I realize I left them next to the car in the parking lot. I get the kids back in the car and drive back up there. No bag, no pics! I hope like HELL someone found them and turns them in! I feel like I have been a good person and deserve someone to find those pictures and return them. More to come on that!

On our way home we stop at Mickey D's I have super sized my ass in several weeks of sports with fast food, why stop now. After we get home, add calories to my ass and drive back up to try and find pics. I try to get the kids in bed. Hub's at this time is out for GNO...otherwise known as Guys night out. For some reason my kids fear him at bedtime but not me. This cracks me up since I can fly off the handle way more than Hub's. Cole comes down after being put down for an hour. He is whining about not being able to sleep. I morph into a two year old and start a full on screaming two year old tantrum. Then a crying fit follows. I can't believe how I'm acting. Ashamed, embarrassed, ridiculous. guilt ridden, are a few things that come to mind. It's like I have zero control of my emotions. Even while I'm having my freak out moment I know it and I can't control it. I have an evil twin and it is called Mental pause! I don't even recognize myself lately and I don't like it. If I don't get a hold on this I'm going to ruin my not so perfect children.

So after I calm down I go upstairs to find Cole sleeping. I kiss him 100 times. He wakes up a little. I tell him I am sorry for yelling at him. How do you explain to a ten year old it's a hormone thing????? I'm going out tomorrow to get some hormone cream to try and nip this in the butt before I ruin these people I live with. Now the drunk guys who happen to be neighbors, so no one is driving. They want me to get in a hot tub. Are they kidding????? I have three people to get up and get out the door for school. We are not in college here for Gods sake!

So back to me! Laugh out loud. I don't know whats going on with me. Well yes I do" hormones". I feel like a prisoner stuck in this body. I don't know when I'm going to be up or down. I don't know what is going to set me off and it's frustrating. I cry at almost everything. I go back to bed after I get my kids off to school. I force myself to get back out of bed because I just feel plain blue. I want to workout but I just can't seem to do it. I feel like I just don't want to get up and do the same thing over and over, ground hog day if you will. My house that is usually put together looks like a hurricane went through it! I have no desire to fix any of it! I need to get out of this funk because it is not me and I don't like it! If anything this was a deep dark look into the super fun thing called metal pause otherwise known as menopause. Sorry for bad grammar and misspelling it's called Metal Pause!

Stalking!

Friday night Hub's and I headed to the Broken Spoke for a 4H benefit. This place is your typical Texas country honkie tonk bar. GREAT people watching. They had a silent auction that was not silent at all. It was so much fun too watch. You get cards that you held up if you want to bid. In the midst of my excitement I raised my hands in the air and almost paid 5000 dollars for a guitar. If I'm going to spend 5000 grand I want to go in the shop. Though after watching the housewives of Hollywood I'm rethinking that thought.

Kevin Fowler put on a kick ass concert for this event. I'm not a huge country music fan but he put on a damn good and entertaining show. It just reaffirmed my thought that I want to be a rock star. If I could only sing.

I love this picture with the word "BROKEN" next to his head. I would love it more if my face was next to the "BROKEN" sign.

Towards the end of the night I realize that Wes from the bachelor pad is in the house. Being the TV junkie that I am I know exactly who he is. I'm so excited I spend the next 45 minutes stalking him trying to get a picture, calling and texting two of my friends who are also TV junkies. I can't really get a good shot so I finally go up and ask if I could get his picture. It brings me back to my younger years of being just a little bit gitty about a guys. I first ask him for a shot on my I phone so I can send my TV junkies the picture. I then ask Hub's to get a shot of him and me because no one is going to believe this shit. Now Hub's is a total trooper and takes the picture. He is most annoyed that we are on date night and I have spent the last 45 minutes stalking a reality TV star. He is even more annoyed when I spend the ride home texting between Sharri and Jen about my stalking night.

All weekend Aidan is in a soccer tournament. They make him the goal keeper for half the game. BTW, he had five games between Saturday and Sunday.

He looks too damn cute as the goal keeper.

I have to say even though Aidan is an awesome soccer player I was a little worried because of his height. He is playing up.....Do you hear me tooting my horn right now??? I thought for sure those balls were going to go right over his head. Not so much it's like the kid grew wings and caught every ball but one.

In between Aidan's games I have to run Blake to his referee job. Usually I drop and run. When I get there I realize he is refereeing my secret crushes kids game. What do I do I stay and stalk. I will not say who my secret crush is. Many of you who read this know exactly who he is. Let's just say he is a TV star who lives in my part of the woods. I call Hub's to gush about this and it almost sends him over the edge since I was just stalking the night before. After Blake is done we have to wait out there for some friends to drop off Cole. Now I'm not complaining at all because secret crush is right next to us hanging out. Once again I am brought back to my younger years of trying anything to get this secret crush to look my way. I know damn well this is obnoxious and ridiculous but damn he is good looking! Not like I could ever land this plane so all in fun! BTW, I really do love Hub's but I am not dead.....just sayin!

Later that night I'm on the phone with my Mom...aka...Debbie Downer. Debbie is on a roll tonight I can't even keep up with all her stories. She is first telling me about some girl who died at the Palmer house sliding down a banister. She moves on to the guy that fell at the Notre Dame game and died. Then she is talking about my twisted sister taking an upcoming trip. She goes on to tell me how women should not travel alone. From there she goes on to talking about all the nuts in the world. She is then talking about all the college girls that have been killed. Then she is talking about my cousin who got fake contacts for Halloween and how she could go blind. All that's going through my head is "WHAAAA WHAAA WHAAA! Now Debbie is not computer savvy so she does not know I talk just a wee bit of shit on here about her. For all you computer savvy relatives, please keep it on the down low. The women still scares the shit out of me when she is mad. I love her dearly but this is crap I just don't need to know. Yes, people even at forty she stills scares the crap out of me!!!!!

Any who, Monday rolled around. I got up and could not go back too bed because I was going to get my hair did. While in the chair I'm thinking damn look at those bags under my eyes! WTHELL with the florescent light in a BEAUTY salon! Now I'm for the "GREEN" way of life but not at all for fluorescent in my beauty salon, dressing rooms, or in my house! Ignorance is bliss for God's sake.

I pick up the kids from school and a few friends come home with us. The kids just got their new school pictures. I'm changing out my frames and I keep all the years past behind the current picture. While I'm changing them the kids are all around me because they like me. I don't know why they like me because I really don't like kids. I'm showing them Cole and Aidan's past pictures and telling them how much they have changed. All the sudden Cole gets down beside the island and is giving me the cut throat sign. He is embarrassed, it brings me way back to when Debbie and the grump embarrassed me...mostly Debbie. I stop showing the pictures. The biggest reason is I can't afford therapy for this one! While I'm changing the pictures, Cole's friend tells me he made a bad face in his picture. He goes on to tell me he has to take a re-take and his Mom was madder than a hornet. I laugh out loud for sure, I'm just glad that I'm not the only hornet out there.

We are doing homework later that night, which is not my favorite time of the night. Cole asks me if I am coming to his Thanksgiving lunch in the am. I say of course I am, I never miss anything. He then takes me back to when he was in second grade and I missed one event the whole year. He is telling me how I was supposed to go check out his work and I was MIA. He then tells me he sat there by himself with tears in his eyes. Then some Mom who looked liked me but with a different face walked up to him and said...Do you want me to look at your work since your Mom is not here??? I traumatized my child and I had no idea! I see therapy in our future.

While doing homework Cole says to me...when we were in Chicago this summer is that the last time time I'm going to see great Grandma alive? I am taken back because it is probably the last time since she is so sick. I don't even like to think of her not being around. I tell him it may be but we are lucky we got to go for so long and see her a lot on our visit. The sweetie pie says's to me that he does not even know what her favorite color is, her favorite food, or her favorite thing. This pretty much brings tears to my eyes. He asks me if I could call my Dad..aka...Grumpa and ask him if he knows what her favorite things are. I call my Grumpa and he answers all his questions he then jokingly says that her favorite thing was him. Cole says....... I knew Grandpa was her favorite thing.

I seemed to have survived the nasty virus that over took my house last week. What can I say except I am a rock star. I wish I didn't spend six days obsessing about getting it. My Dad may be right when he tells me not to worry about things till they happen. I just can't get my mind to think that way.