Xmas in Dallas

We spent X-mas is Dallas with Hub's family. The only thing missing was my sweet niece. She had to spend X-mas with the other side of her family. Hopefully she will come for a visit to Austin soon. As you can see from the picture above my kids are those "hey look at me" kind of kids. I have no idea where they can possibly get this from. It can be most annoying. I'm used to being the center of attention. How dare they steal my thunder.
Christmas Eve is always a big night at their house. This time unfortunately MiMi was not feeling so great. Not to mention my brother in law ended up in the emergency room for his back. We made the best of it and got our cocktail on!
Blake tried like hell to annoy my sister in law.
Did I ever tell you I like the dog more than the people I live with most of the time!
Hey kid you just ain't that funny. I'm the funny one in this house even though you don't see that now.
Hub's got me a new camera for Xmas. I crazy love it. I don't know at all how much it can do. I have been trying to watch videos on you tube about it. I wish there was a hard drive we could plug in our ear and all the info would up load to the brain! It all overwhelmed me. Where is that damn easy button they advertise on the commercials?
On our way out we stopped by Frisco square to see all the Xmas lights. This makes me miss living in Frisco.

So today my head is heavy. I'm wondering why the years have gone so fast. I sound like one of my elderly relatives about now. I kind of hate that. Sometimes I feel like a 16 year old trapped in a 40 something year old body. Sitting here stressed wondering when my first born grew up. It's a scary thing when you watch your child's innocence slip away. I found out recently and I mean recently that my kid tried a drink. I have very mixed feeling about this. I was a kid once, I remember trying my first drink way too young. I guess I just thought I had raised somewhat perfect children and I didn't imagine myself dealing with this so fast. So my BFF from HS came for a visit last week. Let me tell you this took me right back to HS we took off as if no time was lost. That is one of the great things about people you truly connect with. I went to get us a drink from the outside fridge. I noticed three Mike's hard lemonades that someone had left here were empty in the fridge. One.....I would never drink that shit, two no adult would never put empties back in the fridge with the cap put back on. So I walk in with my tail between my legs two full drinks in my hand and the empties to show Hub's. I tell Hub's Blake is drinking. He walks upstairs to talk with Blake about this. He comes down and says Blake didn't drink them and goes to bed.

I may have believed this nonsense in my younger years but I'm old and I have seen too much. I call bullshit. So Blake comes down after Hub's goes to bed. I look at him and say.....you may have snowed your Dad but I know damn well you drank those lemonades. He gives me a half ass crossed smile and I see right through him. I tell him....I was a kid once (thinking much smarter than him, I would have got rid of those empties) I drank and did stuff I wasn't supposed to. I tell him if he tells me the truth I will not be mad at all. So he tells me him a few friends tried the Mikes hard lemonade. As much as I want to ring his neck I can't because I told him I wouldn't be mad if he told me the truth. Damn it I want to cry like a baby about now. This is my baby, my first born, I want everything to be perfect for him. I don't want him to want to try a drink. Since I said I would not be mad all I can do is question him and put my two cents in that he can probably doesn't give a shit about. I ask him if he felt anything like a buzz. He says No. I say then why would you try it. He says just curious. I tell him he needs to be careful because alcoholism runs in our family and I wouldn't want to see him get sucked into that. I have a flash back of my Mother telling me the same thing. When she would say things like that I would roll my eyes behind her and think she was clueless.

I remember my first drink. I was in my second year of hs. My friend Laura lived in an apartment building with her single mother and her older brother. I had no desire to drink. She said hey lets play quarters. I had no idea what quarters even was. Yet I found myself mid day shooting quarters and doing shots of whiskey. I barfed before my Dad even got there to pick me up. I remember waiting for him in her parking lot. I was kinda stumbling around waiting for him. I can't believe that he did not know I was drunk. I think my Dad and Mom were so innocent when they were young and got married right out of HS. They never would have imagined that I would drink at such a young age. I was drunk for sure. There were a handful of times when I was drunk and my parents had no clue.

My favorite story is when I was a junior. I had gone to a party where we were playing quarters. Someone drove me home, I think he was drunk, scary right! I remember barfing right before I got home. It was back when banana clips were in. I came in drunk off my ass. I crawled up the stairs. I had that banana clip and all my hair was hanging out of it. Mom and Dads room was at the top of the stairs. Dad comes out in his tightly whities. He asks what is wrong with me. I tell him I'm sick, I think I have the flue. I crawl, and I mean crawl to bathroom where I barf up whiskey. Dad stands over me....can't believe he can't smell the whiskey. He gets me to bed. I pass out. All the sudden he is in my room with a phone in his hand. He tells me my friends Dad is on the phone. He wants to know where his daughter is. I'm thinking shit....last I saw her she was shooting whiskey at the party. I have no idea what happened to her! So he gives me the phone back in the time where phones were connected to cords. I grab the phone and I'm talking into it upsides down. My Dad is like Kerry turn the phone over. I turn it over and remind my Dad that I'm sick. I don't know if my Dad ever knew I was drunk that night or if he decided not to deal with. I thought I got off Scott free for sure.

So anyway this is why my head is heavy. I know damn well that when I drank in my younger years I could not handle it. Here is the thing I was never a big drinker in those years. It was so few times that I can re count every time. What I think was when I had those few times I was way too young to handle it. It was never fun I always ended up sick. I'm not ready at all to deal with this as a parent. I'm at a loss here. I know some people reading this are judging me as a parent. But for those of you judging me think long and hard back to your youth. Were you the kid that never had a drink??? I'm sure that some of you may have been. But there are those that did have a drink. So my question is how do I do the right thing for my kid???? I'm being totally serious right now. I'm really wondering how to handle under age drinking. These people I live with are going to do me in for sure! I'm at that point where DRINKS can't be available in my house. Hello padded cell my name is Kerry! So sorry for bad spelling and bad grammar..... I think I can write but I re read and I want to die!