X-mas came and went lighting fast.

So Christmas came and went about as lighting fast as my sanity went. Two weeks of not getting out of my PJ's till an hour before Hub's gets home. Two weeks of looking rode hard and put away wet. Two weeks of fights, too many sleepovers to count(unfortunately most at my house), so many "it's not Fair" comments, "I'm bored" comments, dirty dishes, clean ups, laundry, and so on and so on!!!! The smell of axe, dirty feet, farts, burps, and smelly kids ran through my house. My TV and computer were totally taken over and I paced around the house like a crazy women thinking when will this end. I have night owls for kids, I can't tell you how many times I said....."Go the fuck to bed" under my breath. I pleaded with God please let them fall asleep so I can have the TV. I found myself up till two and three in the am trying to catch up on my shows. We have an upstairs media room with a large TV, don't know why everyone here fights for the main one. I know why I don't use it! It has no windows and no ventilation so someone could fart in there and it will last forever. Lets just say it smells like shit in there. I spent some of my time re-writing Xmas music to entertain myself. One day I think I posted six rewritten songs on here. Kelly...Aka...my Twisted sister called me one day. I said did you see my Xmas songs. Of course I was thinking they were funny as shit. She was like......yeah, your starting to sound a little crazy. I'm like.....but there funny right? She is like....yeah but enough is enough. So needless to say three that I thought were very funny never made the blog. Thanks for bursting my crazy bubble TWISTY!!!!!!

I started this Xmas tradition of making gingerbread houses. Damn my kids never seem to forget these X-mas traditions. So the day we are leaving for Dallas Aidan says....we have to do our gingerbread tradition. SHIT, I totally thought I was getting out of this. I say...can't we skip it this year????? Aidan's little smile turns into a frown and I head to HEB to get the overpriced kits. When I get to HEB they have the kits for 14 dollars each or they have the Santa sleigh ones that are also 14 but come with four sleighs. So I can waste 28 dollars and have to get two or I can waist 14. I grab the Santa sleighs. We are on a time crunch anyway. I get them home and they are happy with them. That is until they don't hold together perfectly. Damn it if we are not raising immediate gratification kids! Now their bitching I'm trying to pack while cussing under my breath the whole time. I hate to say I'm thinking Xmas is overrated. For weeks after Xmas I saw those damn kits on sale for 2.50. I would be lying if I said I didn't think about buying them so I could smash them! If I was smart I would have bought them all to get through the next few years of this madness I started.
Since we have moved away from any blood family we have to travel during the holidays. I want my kids to remember getting their Santa gifts under our tree. This causes me to get out of my normally "I'm the laziest parent I know stage" and think out of the box. I have to come up with a creative way to explain why Santa comes in the middle of the day instead of Xmas morning. Last year was the first year I did this and it worked like a charm. The reason Santa has to come during the day is because Hub's works until the day we leave for Dallas. If we did this the morning before we left that would mean our lazy asses would have to get up at six am with Hubs. I just can't do that. I would rather come up with a clever lie of why Santa comes mid day before we leave and get my sleep. So my kids actually spent the night at someones house the night before. BIG MISTAKE, they came home that morning and changed their Xmas list to something they saw over there. I'm a pleaser by nature, so I'm running around last minute trying to get more stuff. I know what your thinking!!!!!!! I'm crazy and I'm raising monsters that get everything they want. I know! No judging please, I judge myself way harder. Sorry to their future wife right now!

So anyway Hub's gets home around three. I tell him to take the kids with him to wash the car. While they do this I'm going to set up all the Santa stuff. He goes off with the two younger ones and my oldest and I set up all the Santa stuff. Hub's calls slightly before we are ready and says they are in driveway. My crazy pre-mental paused self goes into motion and I get on the phone and yell drive around the hood till I call....I'M NOT READY! So I finally call him and tell him it's safe to come home. The kids come in the kitchen and I tell them your never going to believe who was just here. They look at me a little strange and I say SANTA! I tell them that Santa stopped by because he knew we would not be here for Xmas! I also told them they he would fill their stocking in Dallas so they had something there Xmas morning. That is as long as the Dallas drive went smoothly. A little Santa scare never hurt anyone. They are super excited and I'm super worn out not to mention broke again! I see the sight of great boots on someone else in my head!
Of course the youngest is the most excited. Happy he got everything he wanted. He is not old enough to ask for stuff I can't afford. Love seeing his happy face even if it cost me great boots!
The oldest who has gotten everything he wanted since he was born was disappointed. Kid asks for expensive shit and I can not get it all. His biggest beef was he wanted to iPhone 4S. Since we were not up for a contract I refused to pay 600 dollars for one gift to make him happy. He got lots of clothes and expensive boots that he will most likely grow out of in six months. But he is not happy. I want to scream at him but it is Xmas. I try to reason with him about why he could not get the one and only gift he wanted. I tell him there are lots of things I want but can't get and it's a part of life. It's a hard thing not to be able to get your kids what they ask for. Paying 600 dollars for a phone is more than my first mortgage payment, showing my age about now! I'm proud of myself for not caving. He has enough money saved to get one. I refused to let him spend on that. I hope someday he will thank me. I'm doing this for your own good saying comes to mind. Mind you I always hated when my parents said that to me as kid!
Cole who is by far my wild card was really happy with everything he got. You never know what your going to get with him. He is my most passionate child for sure. We have had great Xmas's and tearful Xmas's with him. There was one Xmas I remember when he cried about everything his brothers got that he didn't even though he didn't ask for it. A typical middle child for sure. This Xmas I was smart and got doubles of almost everything! His big gift was the first generation iPad I have yet to tell him it's not the latest greatest one. The problem now is everyone in the house is trying to use it, including Hub's! Which makes this passionate boy very angry at times.
So anywho, we head to Dallas to Hub's family for Xmas. It's all of us the dog and the abercombie guy on the bag! Would it be bad if I said I wish he was my kid???? Earning my lots of modeling money!

More to come for sure. Can't believe how behind I am on this blog! I used to write in it every night as if it was a diary. I'm about behind on this as I am on my New Years resolutions. I can't believe I only have one post for January and it is the 25th! I haven't been in the mood to write lately. I feel I'm saying the same things over and it's boring. One thing I did over the break while my TV was hijacked was read all my past blogs. I can say many things about that. number one being HOLY SHIT, my grammar and spelling suck! Number two, I get why I have lost friends on Facebook....too much info for sure. Number three...I'm glad as ugly as this could be that I'm honest about how hard it is to be a parent. Four.... least but not last I'm so glad I wrote about it because there I so many things I forgot and laughed out loud at.

Anywho, or as spell check gets me Anyway on Feedjit. I kind of entertain myself with feedjit. I have said this before but feedjit tracts where your blogs readers come from. Now I know most of these feedjit's that land on my blog are thinking...this is not what I was looking for. But they amuse for sure. I would love to see their faces when they land here.

So my favorites this week are someone googled "what happens if I eat a booger?" this landed them on my blog! I wrote about one of my kids turning green if they ate a booger. This is where it took this person. Hoping that some poor kid doesn't think he is turning green from eating a booger. We all know we have all tried a booger in our lifetime. Most of us when we were seven...hopefully this is a seven year old googling this question!

Next favorite was someone "googled" S shaped poops. Brought them to my blog. I have not had many S shaped poops in my time but when I did I jumped for joy and called Twisty! I also blogged about it. Dr OZ has ruined us.

Next favorite was someone "googled" my ass looks like cauliflower" been there done that, never saw it but there is a fight about who made that comment!

My all time favorite is someone "googled" these people in my head are causing my to think bad thoughts! Oh "google" reader if you ever come across this blog again these people I live cause me think bad stuff too, you are not alone!

So more to come with these people I live with! Thinking there are crazy stories I have not blogged about yet! So sorry for miss spelling and bad grammar! Too much for me!