50 shades of get a grip!

 While Kelly aka.....Twisty was here we headed out to the barber shop. Not to get our haircut either. The barber shop is an old barber shop turned into a bar here. I got Kelly reading 50 shades of Grey while she was here. My friend met us out and brought book two for us. Our inner Goddess jumped for joy. We were on the hunt for a look at our famous resident here. I had seen him there two weeks before. No such luck. I tell you what though we were like the cat's meow in this place. It's kind of fun to be the cat's meow, it doesn't happen very often. The bar was not very busy. There were about seven guys in there. Most had their beer goggles on. Right away a round of drinks was sent over for us. I guess the guy had used the "F" word. He felt bad he said it in front of us. He was at the bar, we weren't even paying attention to him. We were too busy talking about 50! The "F" word really doesn't offend me anyway. Unless of course someone is telling me to "F" off. If I wasn't so distracted by the 50 shades conversation I would have said......."Thank you for the Fing beer". There is something fun about shocking someone.

 I don't know why but Kelly and I have a gift for attracting "tools". In this case we attracted the biggest drunk tool in the place. Kelly...aka...Twisty was caught trying to read in the bar. I sent the drunk tool over to call her ass out. This opened up the door for drunk tool boy. He walked back over with Kelly and sat with us. He talked as if he had a mouth full of marbles. Then he spilled his beer all over the table. Then he ordered another because God knows he needed it. We couldn't get rid of drunk tool boy. He was most annoying. He first told us he owned a body shop in Drip. Then he said he had lived five different places in the last year. Working at different body shops. My guess is he is full of shit about being an owner of one. I know why we can't get rid of him. Kelz and I have a hard time being mean to people. We don't want to hurt anyone's feeling. In this case we should have, he would have never remembered it the next day. Last time she was here we went to the barber shop. We picked up a tool in a wife beater that night.

The tool was starting to get annoying. So annoying that the bartender even stopped Twisty to ask her if he needed to leave. Twisty being the nice person she is tells him it is fine. We are trying to have a deep conversation about 50. We can't get the tool to shut up! We give him the book to read. This ended up getting rid of him. Should handed marble man that book as soon as he sat down. The guy was like a walking add for "do not drink too much". Twisted Sisters trip went way too fast as usual. I really have the best time when she is here. I wish we could live by each other.


Last night we went to our friends Rick Trevino's concert. The kids had a bast because they got to go back stage. They thought they were all that and a bag of chips. When I got them up for school Aidan...aka...pigpen didn't feel well. At first I didn't believe him. We had a little fight and then I realized he just might not feel well. I had to go to work. I let him sleep while I opened the model. It was cute the best dog ever was in bed with him. He had his paw over his chest. At lunch I picked him up and took him up to work with me. This is when I realized I had been snowed. We keep soda at my work. I don't keep it at my house for a reason. He has one and morphs right into a crazy person before my eyes. He is messing around the model driving me nuts. The builder comes in to work. We share an office. I tell him I had to bring Aidan in because he is sick. He grins at me and says......."yeah he looks real sick". It's one of those shameful mommy moments for me.

After a while it is time for school to let out. I work right across from the school. Cole walks over and is invited to go to the pool with friends. Aidan wants to go too. I tell him he can't stay home from school and then go to the pool. He is pouting and crying about this. He tells me I'm the worst mom ever. I tell him you have no idea what a worst mom ever is! He says...."yes I do it's you". There are times when you are a parent and you can't believe what a little shit you raised. You feel ashamed because you know you would have never said things like this to your parents. You would have thought that but never voiced your ignorant opinion. You feel guilty thinking...what have I done wrong. It doesn't stop there he tells me he is going to mess up my model to make me mad since I made him mad. MAD????? You have no idea how mad I can get. As far as messing my model up. Have at it kid, you will regret that. I can mess up your life no questions asked. I own your ass right now and we could have a pleasant short time together or I can make it hell on you. You choose, it's up to you! Yes, I did tell him all of this. He realized he crossed the mommy sanity line. Next thing I know he is hugging me telling me he thinks I'm a great mom and he is sorry. I stand off at first. He really chapped my ass. He keeps coming around the corner with this cute face asking me if I'm still mad. I tell him my feelings are hurt more than I'm mad. I'm really madder than a wet Rooster. His face gets me and we hug it out. His wife is going to hate me some day!!!!!

Hub's is a little late coming home from work. He had to drive a hour an a half to pick up my lost phone. Whole nother blog on that. I had called him and complained about pigpen when he was being mean to me. So Hub's gets up to my work. I'm deep into the second 50 shades of Grey book. Aidan is watching the Disney channel and eating all the candy in my model. I walk out with them when they are leaving. Hub's stops Aidan and says..."I heard you were pretty disrespectful to your mom today". Aidan pushes the line with me but never with Hub's. Aidan looks up at him like a deer in head lights and shakes his head. Hub's keeps lecturing him. He keeps looking at Hub's shaking his head with tears in his eyes. I want to take him and hug him. I know I can't because he was wrong and he needs to learn. Being a mom is just so hard. Hub's and I fight over stupid shit all the time. What I have always loved about him is he always calls the kids out if they are not respecting me. He has a lot of respect for his mom and that is a quality I looked for in a man. I always thought if a guy is not good to his mom he will be good to me. It's a respect thing for women. You never want to see your kids sad. You want perfect kids and a perfect life. Unfortunately that is not how the world works.


They leave and I go back to 50! I'm starting to really get what the big hoopla is with these books. I think most women have been in or are in a relationship where we want to change the guy. This girl takes one fucked up dude and changes him fast too. We are intrigued by this. This just doesn't happen in real life. The plus is the guy makes 100 thousand dollars an hour. Yes, they say that in the book. This is a women's fantasy. A guy we can change that happens to be a billionaire. This book also makes you feel the long over "new be" feeling. You know the feeling you used to get when you were first dating someone. The kind that makes you smile all day. The kind that makes you sing out loud in your car. The kind that makes you feel sexy. It's sad that, that "new be" feeling doesn't last!!!! It is like a drug. So a girlfriend of mine was in front of the model. I went out to chat with her. About 50 of course. I have everyone I know reading this. The very young "hot" guys are doing the lawn as were chatting. She is leaving and the young hot yard guys put on the sprinklers. I look at them and say...Hey are you trying to get me wet"? As this is coming out of my mouth I realize how dirty it can be taken. I really didn't mean it in the dirty sense. They laugh and I think.....get a grip, Mrs. Robinson! I don't want to leave work because I'm deep in the second book. I go back to reality. Back to fighting kids who can't find their SHIT.

I decide to take off for a bike ride. I borrow Blake's beats headphones. I blast the Pandora Adele station. I ride at sunset. I love riding at sunset, you see deer in front of you on the bike paths out here. I have to be careful because I have a bad habit of singing out loud when I have these beats on. Especially after a day of reading 50 shades. At one point I pass a ripped fine ass dude. I can't help but imagine something dirty. Remember I'm reading 50 shades, so give me a pass on this one!!!!! I have never seen this guy before. So don't worry I'm not imagining anyone I know Hub's! My imagination quickly goes south! I think damn muffin top is not sexy! I can never be naked in the light!!!! I would never be able to relax. Then that damn being raised Irish Catholic kicks in. When your raised Irish Catholic you are raised to feel guilty even about thoughts! You fear God! So my guilty pleasure was cut really short.


I have gotten a lot of readers on this blog recently. I know this from Feedjit. I love to look at feedjit. It tells you what readers are "googling" to get here. What feedjit tells me is there are lots of people "googling" famous penis. I wrote about that once. There are also lots of booger eaters out there. I wrote about that once too. I alway have this fear that I will have nothing to say, but there is always something with three boys, an anal hubby, and a perfect dog. I read back and I learn from my mistakes, I laugh at things I don't remember, I cry, I cringe at my spelling and bad grammar, and then I think on some never blog with a beer in your system. Holy hell I'm putting myself out there to be judged and talked about. Well have fun with that because I'm also giving my kids a book to read and teach them that life is not perfect, it is hard, and I try to write about true feelings. My oldest came down tonight as I was writing. We had a brief conversation about kids he knew that were doing dugs. I told him that kids will make you feel stupid for not doing drugs but you need to stay strong. He told me he was offered drugs. I was trying to stay cool but geez these kids are only 14. I was very proud when he told me he said he was not interested because of football. I got the summer football times and wanted him to not to play. Not after this!!!! I will give up my summer and get him there with bells on!!!!!!! Anything to keep my precious baby moving in the right direction!!!!!!! I really don't know what I did right with this first. I was really young and dumb when I had him. This kid has NEVER said I was the worst mom ever.
Of course he is no where near perfect either. I don't know where I went wrong with the other two. They have both said I'm the worst mom ever! More to come from these people I live with! So much more since a feedjit made me laugh out loud today!!!! Sorry again for bad writing...once again it's way too late to proof read.