Let me start by saying I think breastfeeding is a wonderful and natural thing. I believe it is beautiful bonding experience for mothers with their babies. With this post I am in no way discrediting breastfeeding. I don't want any haters coming after me for what I'm about to post.
All I have heard today is talk about the "Time" magazine cover. It prompted my interest so I "googled" it, imagine my shocked face when I saw some big kid "guzzling" it! I don't know if the cover screamed "MILF" or "Got Milk". It's a toss up for me. The evil genius in me thought a good title would be Milk of man pleaser! I don't know about you but I have never seen a hot ass mom in skinny jeans breast feeding her kid like this. I love the headline that says "Are you Mom enough?" Apparently not me! I think they could have gotten away with a headline reading...."Are you milf enough?" Not me! Who looks that good breastfeeding anyway.
This prompted me to "google" some more. I knew it would be great giggling material with all the "haters" and "know it all's" out there. They strive on this stuff. Don't get me wrong. Everyone is entitled to voice their opinion on this. But you know there are the one's that totally get their panties in a wad over it. These are the fun comments to read. The Los Angeles Times had and article I read. They said "the print industry really needed this cover to show they are still movers and shakers". The sick part of me laughs out loud when I read this. They ain't kidding about the "movers and shakers" part!!!! I wish my "movers and shakers" still looked like that. Los Angeles Times also says..."the cover shows breastfeeding in and up close and personal kind of way". REALLY, YOU THINK???? Personally it kind of pisses me off. I don't want to be in the grocery store with my already boob obsessed boys. I could just see it. I will be paying for my groceries. They will be behind me with their little shit eating grins giggling at it. I will get the stink eye from the perfect mommy behind me.
I kind of feel bad for the kid on it. As mean as kids are today this will lead to years of bullying. In my opinion of course. Do you think all the kids on the playground won't be offering him their milk money!!!! I think it would have been funnier if they would have had the kid with a shit eating grin on his face with a milk mustache.
I do think this cover has pitted all the mom's with too much time on their hands against each other. Myself included! I even hate to say Mom's with too much time on their hands. As mom none of us really have too much time on our hands, Being a mom is the most important and time consuming job on the planet.
Next I pulled up a Forbes article. The first thing it says is...."Time cover milks breastfeeding for all it's worth". You aren't kidding Forbes......They are milking this shit all the way to the bank!
Next I pull up a "Today" show interview with the mom and some Dr. Bill who wrote a book about attachment parenting. The first thing the person asks the mom is....." Did you not think this cover would cause a stir?". She says.......NO! Bullshit! How can anyone in their right mind not think this would cause a stir??????? She is giving blondes a bad name. Own it biatch.....You knew it would cause a stir and you would milk that shit all the way to the bank! I feel I have to say again this is my opinion and who am I??? Next she the MILF is talking about attachment parenting. This is apparently when your kid is attached to you 24/7. She is talking about her relationship with her husband. She says they still find time for them. The nasty side of me goes to the dark side. I think maybe this girl is on to something. Kid on one boob....hub on the other. She kills two birds with one stone! Some of you are thinking OH no I didn't just go there. But yes I did! Then the Dr. Bill chimes into the interview. He talks about having a family bed for your kids. I can't say anything about this. I couldn't get my first out of my bed for a long time. It was great when your too tired to put out. I'm all for that. My kids are too old for that now though. I have to resort to placing yeast creams in the bathroom when I'm too tired! He also talks about "Wearing" your children. This is where the mom wears the child close to their chest in a sack. This is going to be genius for smart marketing people everywhere. We can bedazzle our babies to match our outfits! They kind of get on him about the beast feeding kids till their six which is what he suggest. He defends himself and says..."if you were stuck on an island this is what you would have to do". Yes, true but WE ARE NOT STUCK ON AN ISLAND! If we were truly stuck on an island we would maybe have to eat the bedazzled baby! Alright, I just took that too far! I would starve to death before I ever ate a bedazzled baby or anyone for that matter.
The thing that bothers me about this cover.....and I scream what bothers me. The Women in it has a strange stance.....her face screams bitch on wheels. The kid looks way older than what he is. He has an almost shocked look on his face. In my mind I imagine lights, camera, suck that boob. He does look like he gets his cookies with the milk. Boy did I just say that???? This does not scream to me nurchering mom bonding with her child. It screams your kids going to need good therapy when he gets in school and kids pick on him. Good thing she is making lots of money off this! I whole heartily believe in breastfeeding. I even believe it is a mothers choice how long she does it. Though I believe if they can talk the mother should pump that shit and serve it in a glass. But again that is my opinion. I don't think this cover reflects the true true picture of breastfeeding. It is for shock value only. I'm my opinion. I think a picture of a mother with a young baby being held like a baby in her arms, with them looking up at each other with a gleam in their eyes would show a bond. This to me screams uncomfortable for everyone. Just what I think again.
I texted some of my more colorful friends to get their reaction. I was surprised that some did not know what the hell I was talking about. I got one text that said...she is frickin hot...saw her interview! I got a text back from my Twisted sister that said " should have been me". I agree we would be laughing all the way to the bank! I think my favorite is what my friend Brian said. He said....the kid looked like he was stepping up to the fountain for a drink! I got a text that said...I think that is crazy shit. I called my mom and dad. I asked my dad what he thought. Now dad is the most conservative guy I know. He said it was ridiculous. As ridiculous as it is they are taking it all the way to the bank.......once again I write but I misspell, have bad grammar, and run-on sentences. In a perfect world I would have a wife and a ghost writer! I just wonder what "Oprah" thinks?????
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