Universe leave me alone!

So today the day after Thanksgiving I go to hang out in the place I hang out in two days a week. Sad that "initial guy" is off today, so no one is there to occupy my time. I spend most of the day looking for pictures of my Grandma for her funeral. I'm in tears most of my day remembering all the great times I had with her. I tell you one of my greatest memories of her is when we would walk in her house and her eyes would just light up when she saw my kids and me. I can't believe I will never walk in her house again to find her waiting for us. She was by far the sweetest person I ever knew.



I go home after being at the place I hang out in all ready to fly out to Shy Town. Aidan tells me he does not feel well. I don't believe him because he has been sick twice just recently. This kid rarely gets sick. Well hello he has a 104 temp! I'm thinking really UNIVERSE leave me the puck alone.....and yes I know my spelling is bad but PUCK is my nicer way of saying the F word.





So my flight is delayed do to a sick kid that can not function without his Mom. I pray that he will be back to normal tomorrow so I can go. What do we do since we won't be flying out????? We watch Oprah. Now the funny thing is I record Oprah everyday and my kids love her. I came home on Monday and my 13 year old said......."you are not going to believe what
Oprah did".....I laugh out loud! I love that when I'm not home they are watching O! So I recorded Oprah's favorite things shows. My baby who is sick on the sofa says can we watch some TV? I say sure being a TV junkie. I ask what he wants to watch and he says's Oprah. I tell him we have Oprah's favorite things recorded and he gets really excited. We watch both favorite thing shows. The little guys crack me up. On the first show they want to know why we can't get on that show. They come up with ways I can get on the show. Then they want to know why all the stuff is more for girls even though there are boys in the audience. They are really excited about the 3-D TV. They are disappointed when they hear her say it is her last year and realize they will never get on the show. The black eyed peas come on at the end and Cole says...I think the African American guy is super cool.





We put on the second give away show to compare which is better. The first thing she brings out is an Ipad. It cracks me up when these two are jumping around as is they just won one. They are so excited for the people. When she brings out Garrets popcorn they realize that Grandma brings them this and they can't believe they have had the popcorn that Oprah loves. They are now yelling...Go Grandma, you are just like Oprah! They once again say most of the stuff is for girls.....what about the guys Mom????? What cracks me up is when she had the singers on Cole said I don't like that one guy. I'm thinking the old guy...he says I don't like that Josh guy but I love Johnny Mathis cause he has cool hair. Well Ok that's not what I expected to hear. When they found out she gave away bugs...which are punch bugs in our car rides...they went off the deep end! I hate these cars because they make my car rides awful since the the punch bug game. This is a total excuse to punch each other without getting in trouble. Hey Universe we want to go on the Oprah show!

Thanks????

I spent Wednesday getting ready for Thanksgiving. Now Tuesday Hub's had an emergency root canal...Hello a thousand dollars later not really feeling Thankful. Also Tuesday my Dad called and said be ready to fly to Chicago because your Grandma is on her last few days. Talk about STRESS! It makes me sick about losing my Grandma, more than I can even put into to words. She is by far the nicest person I have ever known. I hate that she is my last living Grandparent and I'm about to lose her. This breaks my heart. This is a women that I have REALLY never heard her say a bad word about anyone! Why is she suffering??? Please God take away all that pain.

Hello....Watch out Martha because here I come! So Wednesday I didn't know if I would be flying to Shy Town or cooking for Thanksgiving. Grandma made through the night so I find myself trying to be Martha in my kitchen. In between cooking I promised the two younger ones I would take them to Toys-R-Us to make out X-mas list. What a huge mistake! We left there in tears because one we could not buy anything weeks before X-mas and two I did not pay attention to the thousand things they wanted. REALLY?????? My day started out bad when our neighbor kid came by with a Thanksgiving present. We don't give Thanksgiving presents in this house! BTW, neighbor you know who you are!!!!!! Now we fought about the fact that they did not have a gift for Thanksgiving. I tried to tell them that I have friends that get to shop like crazy, I'm jealous but I can't do anything about it. I don't get why kids feel they are so entitled to everything. BRATS!

Maybe not such a Martha! Damn I can't bake to save my life!

I did the best I could to save this little gobble, gobble. I started this post last night but was too tired to finish it. I was woken up on Thanksgiving morning to find out my Grams passed away. Well that just sucks. Even though I knew it was coming it hit me like a ton of bricks. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I am most Thankful for having the most amazing Grandma ever!

Weekend warrior

It's been a few days since my last post. I haven't had the MOJO to write. Not that I can really call this writing. So Friday I hung out in the place I hang out in a few days a week. The morning was alright because someone who I will refer to as "initials guy" was there. At least I had someone to chat with instead of being left alone with my own crazy mind. The afternoon I read at least ten magazines. I am becoming a wealth of information....some good, some I really didn't need to know. Since I have been on my yoga kick again an article about it peaks my interest. It is a stress reducing article. Caption reads.....Try a yoga facial. A simple yoga move called the Lion pose can help loosen the tight muscles that make you look stressed. It tells you to sit on the floor, legs folded, with your palms on your thighs. Take deep breaths while you lift your chest and neck to the sky. Here's where it gets a little coo coo. Stick out your tongue out and move your eyes up and down. Now shift your eyes left to right and roar like a Lion.....Repeat 5 times.


I find myself asking that question......who comes up with this shit, I mean really. I bet whoever did is sitting back with a cocktail in hand. They are laughing thinking about how stupid all the assholes doing this must look. One of those assholes is me of course. Though after the second "ROAR" I realize I must look like a total asshole. More importantly what an asshole I feel like. I think I will stick to things like downward dog and proud warrior. Told you I should not be left alone with my mind. I might take a guess that a few people reading this might be tempted to try this. Don't you really do feel like an asshole.

Saturday morning I sleep in. It is the first Saturday since I can remember not having to take one these people to a game. I cleaned out my laundry room. I found things in there I didn't even know I had! I emptied the whole place out and started over. I have kind of been on a kick of getting rid of useless crap lately. Since I can't seem to reinvent myself, I guess I will settle for my house. Now I am thinking wouldn't it be nice if we could empty out ourselves and put back the things we want to keep and get rid of all the unwanted crap. I would defiantly get rid of my over active mind and trade in in for something like a stoners mind.

Sunday I cleaned out the pantry. Once again I emptied the whole place out and started over. I did find something in there that I did not recognize and will not talk about. Watch out people I'm on a roll. Now I'm am thinking I wish we could empty out all the stuff on ourselves that is making us feel expired. I have to say I kind of feel like a weekend warrior.

I watched the music awards with my thirteen year old and Hub's. What a great show. Blake bitched and moaned about all the awards he did not think Beiber deserved. I say he is jealous. I was in awe of how great all those bitches looked. Jealous of course. Hub's re lived his younger years when he got up and sang word for word with Bon Jovi. Jealous of course. Blake all the sudden refers to one of the bitches as hawt. We get into a little tiff over this. Having three boys I have done my best to brain wash them into being respectful of women. I don't think referring to a women as hawt is respectful of women, it sounds ridiculous coming out of a thirteen year old mouth. I tell him he should say she is beautiful, pretty or cute. As I am saying that I think I wouldn't really mind if someone refereed to me as hawt and not hawt for my age either. That ruins it for some reason. Then the Backstreet boys and New Kids.....wow, just wow. I even had to sing along for that. Hub's ruined it for me when he got up and started trying to dance like them. Not a pretty sight. Then Blake ruined it even more when he said they looked like a bunch of old dudes. I thought they were aging gracefully. I think one of the Backstreet boys was missing though. Anywho I survived another weekend with these people. I only had to flush the toilet behind them a few hundred times, pick up after them a few hundred times, and repeat myself a few hundred times. I even picked a thorn out of the bottom of a foot. WEEKEND WARRIOR fer sure!

If only we could bottle a feeling

I did my first wedding photo shoot this week. The place was amazing. The bride and groom just gushed over each other. You could feel the love they felt for each other, it was almost sickening. I'm jealous of course. I couldn't help but think...I felt this way once. I remember a time when I couldn't wait to hear his voice over the phone. When we were out he was the only one I saw in the room. I could make out for hours with him. I couldn't wait to see him. I hung on his words and I loved spending time with him. WHY does that feeling have to go away???? When your in that state of mind you feel alive and beautiful. Then you get married and have kids and life gets in the way. You stop taking time for each other. Don't get me wrong I love Hub's but these people we live with got in our way. Now we are so busy with them it leaves little time for us. I don't want to make out for hours on end anymore, my big words are can you make it quick now. I wish we could bottle that feeling when we first were together even though I no longer have the time to put that kind of effort in...sad but true.

So Monday morning I really did wake up and do my yoga. I did it Tuesday too. I ate right for the most part. I fell off my yoga train for the past month. I have someone evil in my mind that does not allow my to do shit. I often wonder if other people have this person in their mind. Sometimes I think I may be headed to the crazy house. After doing the yoga I can't believe I stopped. I have almost a euphoric feeling after I do it. I only get this feeling after yoga, cheeseburgers, or a few beers. I hope I can finally keep this up.

Cole is student of the week. I had to write him a letter that would be read in front of the class. Bad night for this letter. We spent an hour an a half on his homework. I still think homework is for the birds. It causes me nothing but spikes in my blood pressure. So he dropped his pencil at least hundred times. He played with his water bottle. He looked around. He talked to himself. He sang. Anything but the homework. He said to me he wished someone would do the homework for him. REALLY......I sure wish someone would do all the shit I don't want to do too. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way, that is unless you have unlimited funds to pay someone to do your shit. I come from the family that says if you do it yourself it means more. I call bullshit, I want to be able to do things I want screw the stuff I don't want to do. Do you hear me UNIVERSE??????

Anywho still waiting to win the lotto. Still waiting for the easy button. Still waiting for these perfect kids to appear. I do have to say even though I complain I am blessed to have these people I live with. This blog is my vent to say things I cannot say out loud to them.

The dreaded X-mas list

So many times while driving these people around I come across something like this. A stone roadrunner cemented on the top of someones mailbox. I think to myself "ONLY IN TEXAS". I'm going to start carrying my camera around so I can photograph this craziness. I seem to see a dead animal on the side of of road on a daily basis. I think one of the funniest things I have seen is a truck driving by with a few Mexican women sitting in lawn chairs in the bed. Sometimes I wish I could be driving in a lawn chair in the back of the truck. It would save me from the headache of the bickering people in my car.

Cole went to a birthday party at a paint ball place. He was really nervous and tried to back out. He was afraid it was going to hurt. He did not want to cry in front of his friends. I told him heck yeah it hurts.....secretly hoping he would hate it. This is not my first rodeo with paint ball places. Blake and his friends like to go a lot. It's an expensive hobby. I go to pick him up and he loved it! SHITTTTTTTT! Not another one! He now wants his own gun and to go back next weekend. All this means for me is my boots are on hold again because of these people.

Damn it they started the dreaded X-mas list again. I do love in this picture where Aidan signs his name......Aidan Cavender....in Texas. I assure him that Santa knows exactly where he is......Santa gave birth to you for God sakes. I'm ready for these people to know I am Santa, so I can blame the economy for cheap gifts and get those boots.

See in this picture...... it is day one for the list and he is already on list three. He keeps changing his mind. I blame the Internet one hundred percent for this. What happened to the good old days where the Toys R us big book was the only thing kids could get their list from.

While getting the kids school bags ready for "thank God tomorrow is Monday". I come across a paper from last week. I see my initials but they are not mine next to Wednesday. I call Aidan in and ask him if he signed my initials. He says yes. I ask why would you do that???? He tells me because you forgot. Well Damn kid you need to know how to do this! When I was a kid you kept a copy of your parents signature under your mattress. You went over it 500 times in black ink and then traced it perfectly on to your school paper. Now it did not give him my trade secret but I did tell him he cannot do this. He told me he would have gotten in trouble for not getting it initialed. Wow at seven they punish you for having the lazy ass parent that didn't go through your work???? Just doesn't seem fair...I tell him just remind me to sign while doing your homework and we should not have any more forging incidents.

More on line shopping!!!! Holy crap six weeks of this. I really want to go back in time where they did not know how to on line shop. Damn you can google anything and find things you would have never known existed.

So Aidan in the kitchen on line shopping and Cole is in the office on line shopping. I am toast and so are those boots I want.

This one... what can I say....except.....WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??? I'm not talking about the dog either. I'm tired of him thinking he is the third parent in this place. I'm tired of him thinking I am his friend and not his Mother. I'm tired of him thinking he knows all!!! Most of all I'm tired of him saying OK, OK, before I get done with what I am saying.

While writing this blog I see this paper sitting next to my computer. I glance at it and think I need to add this. It is on line X-mas list shopping at its finest. Notice while writing this list there are the words "FREE SHIPPING"......and...."CLEARANCE ITEM". REALLY????? This is what my next six weeks is going to be like....Puck you Internet!!!! Puck is my knew would for FUCK... it just seems nicer!

So I'm taking my make-up off and pulling my chin back to where it should be Hub 's ask me what's this. He pulls up his PJ pants to show me a red circle on his leg. I tell him....Ummmm that would be ringworm. Really....he says. Yes, I know my fungals. He then goes into the drawer of meds and pulls out a spray can and sprays his leg. I look at him and say.....What are you doing????...That is for shafting. He pretty much doubles over from laughing and says....what you mean is chafing. I say your damn lucky I don't know what "Chafing" is! Anywho another post from the peanut gallery or as I like to call it Laaa, Laaa, land.

A girl can dream

So Saturday morning I got up and ran three miles. After that I came home and did an hour of yoga and Pilate's. I ate right all day. I did some shopping with my unlimited funds. Then I came home and Hubby had cleaned the house and did all the laundry. We settled in to watch a chick flick while the boys played quietly and nicely upstairs. I didn't hear the word Mommmmmm all day. Well that's not exactly how my day went but a girl can dream right???????

In my real world I woke up at the crack ass of dawn. We headed to Fuckitsfarville......I mean Pflugerville to play in a soccer tournament. My worthless GPS got me lost and Cole and Aidan bickered all the way there. Let me just say whom ever made up the game "punch bug" I would like to punch you in the face about now. I guarantee it wasn't anyone who drives kids around.

Aidan had three soccer games out there. It would have been nice if they were back to back. No such luck we were out there from 7:30-4:00pm. The first game we literally froze our asses off. It was not even fun to watch because we were so cold all we could think is when is this over????
After the first game we had three hours to waste in this small town that has nothing to do in it. I called one of Cole's friends Mom's to invite her child to a sleepover that I have promised Cole forever. Now Blake has sleepovers all the time because at his age the kids never bother me, they are never loud, and they hold themselves up in the media room all night. Cole's age is a little different they are crazy, wild, and unruly. So I try to have as few of these as possible. After I hang up the phone Aidan is whining that he wants a friend over too. Seriously??????their killing me here. I call the Mom back since she also has a kid Aidan's age and ask if he can stay too. She laughs and asks me if I am crazy. NO not crazy yet maybe close but lazy is more like it. I have NO MO JO to argue.

Thank God it has warmed up a bit by the second game. After the second game we have TWO hours till the third game. I have zero energy and no MO JO to do anything but park my ass in a chair and wait for the third game. A few of the other parents feel the same way I do. We end up on the side line of an empty field where the kids played. It's so funny when you find yourself on the sidelines with parents you hardly know trying to make small talk. FOR TWO HOURS MIND YOU! My over active mind is thinking things like...I wonder what their story is.....I wonder if they would rather be doing laundry than sitting here like me....I wonder if my wrinkles look that deep in this overcast lighting. Damn if people could hear what we were thinking we would all be in a world of shit.

We are finally headed home after four pm. We get home and all I want to do is put my comfortable pants on and curl up on the sofa with a tear jerking lifetime movie. Sponge Bob occupies my TV and I'm about to have that dreaded sleepover. Hubby is MIA since he got tickets to the longhorn game.

Sleepover is actually going as well as I can expect. A few fights and a few Mommmmmmm's. There are a couple times while my ass is parked on the sofa and it sounds a like bowling alley upstairs that I am thinking PUCKKKKKKKK! BTW, twisted sister I meant to say PUCKKKK, I think it's the nicer version of the F word. The kids they have over are very polite. I cook them a pizza and one of the kids tells me a funny story. He tells me he was flipping through his channels at home and he came across this girl on the toilet that pooped out a child. He then tells me she didn't even know she was pregnant. I'm just happy that Cole isn't the only nine year that thinks we poop out our young.

After a while they are all back down in my space. This is a clear case of be careful what you say because your kids are listening and telling. Which by the way pisses me off since I usually have to repeat myself five times on things I want them to hear. Anywho Aidan says did you know I was an accident???? I walk over and say WHAT DID YOU SAY???? Then Cole who was at one of his friends house this week says.....Yeah we know I was just telling my friends Mom that you were an accident. I said......don't be telling people that! He tells me but she laughed about it. Of course she laughed because you totally through me under a bus! Geez there is NO telling what kind of stuff these kids have heard and told! I may have to move and I'm not taking these people I live with with me. Anywho Hub's came home from the longhorn game and thought he was going to roll in and get some.......UMMMM I don't think soooooo, being MIA all day at soccer and for a sleep over is not a turn on. GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD FER SURE!

There's a crap knocking at the back door.

This is not my picture but I love it. Mom...aka...Debbie Downer sent it to me because my neighbor is an asshole. If my house didn't go down in value to the tune of 60k this sign would be in my yard.

So lets just say I'm in the place I hang out in two days a week now. I have to keep it on the down low in this blog since it almost got me in trouble. I'm there only about 20 minutes when my cramps kick in. Now there is someone who hangs out in this place with me part of the time. So I find myself sitting in a place next to his starting to sweat because my tummy is cramping up. I even start to kind of feel dizzy from my nerves. I guess I have this thing where I don't like to poop anywhere but my own house. I'm starting to go into a total panic attack and I'm about to crap my pants. I'm fighting in my head about what to do. Since I have only been there 20 minutes I can't take a lunch. All I can think is why didn't this shit hit me before I left the house. I go around the corner and tell this person there is a crap knocking at my back door and I don't feel comfortable letting it out here, so I will be right back. Well that's not exactly what I said. It was more like I forgot my book at home so I will be back in a few minutes. I don't know why I can't poop anywhere but my house, except in dire emergencies. But I have no problem talking about it. I find poop stories most amusing, even more so when there not mine.

I thought our Saturday's were going to be free for a few weeks. That is until Aidan's team had to play so good in the tournament last weekend. Because of that it qualified us for another five game weekend. The worst part about this is it's in Fuckitsfarville.....I mean Pflugerville. Were going to have to leave the house at 6:45am. Anyone that knows me knows I am not really a ray of sunshine in the morning. I'm a total night owl so this will really put a damper in my Friday night.

I have this little cheerleader in my head trying to tell me to get off my ass and run. Maybe I could motivate myself by imagining that I am running far, far away from here. I could imagine myself running to an island to be with my hot vampire. Oh wait the vampire can't hang in sunny places. Never mind anyway it's about to rain here so I am off the hook for another night.

Same old, same old

Looking at this picture all I have to say is who raised this kid????? Oh yes, that would be me. I also wonder why the hell would someone put stickers over their eyes and mouth??? The only thing I see in this picture is see no evil, speak no evil, and I might just like that.

Tuesday morning I head to the elementary school for the turkey dinner. I don't eat the yucky I mean yummy turkey dinner but Cole does.

Now here is Cole with his two favorite girls. If I could pre arrange a marriage for him these would be my top two picks. Number one I love the parents of these two so that would work out great for me. Two since I am "picture girl" I would have a fantastic picture video of either one of these girls for the wedding. Last but not least I know with these one's the parents could pay for the wedding! There is Sky from Frisco though....ummm well this might be a wee bit tough. I should really not express my opinion at all, if he is like me he will do the opposite.

Wednesday I head up to the school to have turkey dinner with Aidan. Now this kid refuses to ever eat a school made lunch. I can't say I blame him but it would be nice once in a while not to make his lunch. I make him his all time favorite Mac and cheese and bring it up to the school. I should get some "Mommy" points for this one. Now I hope when he is old enough to read this blog he will buy me something really great!

Wednesday night we head to Cole's basketball practice. Now Aidan helped a little with Cole's team last year. This year when he was old enough to play he opted out. The reason he opted out was because he felt like Doug needed his help as the "assistant coach". Doug ate this up when I told him the story. He got Aidan an assistant coach hat, Tshirt, whistle, and clip board. He even got to go to the draft to help pick players. He is really excited since as of now at his seven year old age he wants to be a college coach when he grows up. I'm just happy that I saved 160.00 dollars by him not playing! I see boots in my future.

Aidan is taking his coaching job very seriously. It was really cute to watch.

AIDAN CAVENDER, future UT head coach......Hell yeah....A Mom can dream right?????? AIDAN CAVENDER YOU OWE ME LOTS OF MONEY!

So I put the kids to bed, do their normal back rubs when we talk about their day. I settle in, down stairs to watch my mindless TV! I hear just a wee bit of ruckus coming from upstairs. Now there is nothing that pisses me off more than this. I would not have dared caused ruckus after I went too bed as a child. I feared for my life. This is where I feel I have failed miserably with my kids. I go upstairs too see what the ruckus is. This was what I came up to find!!!!!! THESE KIDS OWE ME A HOUSE WHEN THEY CAN PAY FOR ONE...Just sayin! I yell at Cole and get him to go back to bed! Damn it Child I have TV to watch....I don't need this crap.

As I'm getting Cole back in bed, I come around too this! Monkey see, Monkey do. These people I live with are pushing my buttons.....fer sure.

After I get Dumb and Dumber back to bed I go outside to shot gun a beer. While out there my neighbors dog is barking. It kind of sounds like he is saying...RED RUM, RED RUM. Shit like that freaks my over active mind out.

While at the Thanksgiving lunches this week, I was sitting with my friend Robin both days. She said something that I totally agree with and now I can't stop thinking about it. She was talking about how her life seems to just be constantly doing a do over. She is right. You go from football season, to basketball season, to soccer season, year after year. The only difference is we get OLDER every year. Not too mention you clean up the house, do the laundry, wipe down the kitchen 500 times just too get a do over the next day.


My thoughts in the last few days.....

1....Fluorescent lights in the bathroom could be grounds for divorce.

2....I keep thinking I need to run, I even dream about it as if it is a calling. For some reason mindless TV seems to get in my way.

3....My closets are out of control, I really wish someone would get them under control. EASY BUTTON please!

4....Just look at my last picture and give me a get out of jail free card.....these people are making me crazy.

Stalking!

Friday night Hub's and I headed to the Broken Spoke for a 4H benefit. This place is your typical Texas country honkie tonk bar. GREAT people watching. They had a silent auction that was not silent at all. It was so much fun too watch. You get cards that you held up if you want to bid. In the midst of my excitement I raised my hands in the air and almost paid 5000 dollars for a guitar. If I'm going to spend 5000 grand I want to go in the shop. Though after watching the housewives of Hollywood I'm rethinking that thought.

Kevin Fowler put on a kick ass concert for this event. I'm not a huge country music fan but he put on a damn good and entertaining show. It just reaffirmed my thought that I want to be a rock star. If I could only sing.

I love this picture with the word "BROKEN" next to his head. I would love it more if my face was next to the "BROKEN" sign.

Towards the end of the night I realize that Wes from the bachelor pad is in the house. Being the TV junkie that I am I know exactly who he is. I'm so excited I spend the next 45 minutes stalking him trying to get a picture, calling and texting two of my friends who are also TV junkies. I can't really get a good shot so I finally go up and ask if I could get his picture. It brings me back to my younger years of being just a little bit gitty about a guys. I first ask him for a shot on my I phone so I can send my TV junkies the picture. I then ask Hub's to get a shot of him and me because no one is going to believe this shit. Now Hub's is a total trooper and takes the picture. He is most annoyed that we are on date night and I have spent the last 45 minutes stalking a reality TV star. He is even more annoyed when I spend the ride home texting between Sharri and Jen about my stalking night.

All weekend Aidan is in a soccer tournament. They make him the goal keeper for half the game. BTW, he had five games between Saturday and Sunday.

He looks too damn cute as the goal keeper.

I have to say even though Aidan is an awesome soccer player I was a little worried because of his height. He is playing up.....Do you hear me tooting my horn right now??? I thought for sure those balls were going to go right over his head. Not so much it's like the kid grew wings and caught every ball but one.

In between Aidan's games I have to run Blake to his referee job. Usually I drop and run. When I get there I realize he is refereeing my secret crushes kids game. What do I do I stay and stalk. I will not say who my secret crush is. Many of you who read this know exactly who he is. Let's just say he is a TV star who lives in my part of the woods. I call Hub's to gush about this and it almost sends him over the edge since I was just stalking the night before. After Blake is done we have to wait out there for some friends to drop off Cole. Now I'm not complaining at all because secret crush is right next to us hanging out. Once again I am brought back to my younger years of trying anything to get this secret crush to look my way. I know damn well this is obnoxious and ridiculous but damn he is good looking! Not like I could ever land this plane so all in fun! BTW, I really do love Hub's but I am not dead.....just sayin!

Later that night I'm on the phone with my Mom...aka...Debbie Downer. Debbie is on a roll tonight I can't even keep up with all her stories. She is first telling me about some girl who died at the Palmer house sliding down a banister. She moves on to the guy that fell at the Notre Dame game and died. Then she is talking about my twisted sister taking an upcoming trip. She goes on to tell me how women should not travel alone. From there she goes on to talking about all the nuts in the world. She is then talking about all the college girls that have been killed. Then she is talking about my cousin who got fake contacts for Halloween and how she could go blind. All that's going through my head is "WHAAAA WHAAA WHAAA! Now Debbie is not computer savvy so she does not know I talk just a wee bit of shit on here about her. For all you computer savvy relatives, please keep it on the down low. The women still scares the shit out of me when she is mad. I love her dearly but this is crap I just don't need to know. Yes, people even at forty she stills scares the crap out of me!!!!!

Any who, Monday rolled around. I got up and could not go back too bed because I was going to get my hair did. While in the chair I'm thinking damn look at those bags under my eyes! WTHELL with the florescent light in a BEAUTY salon! Now I'm for the "GREEN" way of life but not at all for fluorescent in my beauty salon, dressing rooms, or in my house! Ignorance is bliss for God's sake.

I pick up the kids from school and a few friends come home with us. The kids just got their new school pictures. I'm changing out my frames and I keep all the years past behind the current picture. While I'm changing them the kids are all around me because they like me. I don't know why they like me because I really don't like kids. I'm showing them Cole and Aidan's past pictures and telling them how much they have changed. All the sudden Cole gets down beside the island and is giving me the cut throat sign. He is embarrassed, it brings me way back to when Debbie and the grump embarrassed me...mostly Debbie. I stop showing the pictures. The biggest reason is I can't afford therapy for this one! While I'm changing the pictures, Cole's friend tells me he made a bad face in his picture. He goes on to tell me he has to take a re-take and his Mom was madder than a hornet. I laugh out loud for sure, I'm just glad that I'm not the only hornet out there.

We are doing homework later that night, which is not my favorite time of the night. Cole asks me if I am coming to his Thanksgiving lunch in the am. I say of course I am, I never miss anything. He then takes me back to when he was in second grade and I missed one event the whole year. He is telling me how I was supposed to go check out his work and I was MIA. He then tells me he sat there by himself with tears in his eyes. Then some Mom who looked liked me but with a different face walked up to him and said...Do you want me to look at your work since your Mom is not here??? I traumatized my child and I had no idea! I see therapy in our future.

While doing homework Cole says to me...when we were in Chicago this summer is that the last time time I'm going to see great Grandma alive? I am taken back because it is probably the last time since she is so sick. I don't even like to think of her not being around. I tell him it may be but we are lucky we got to go for so long and see her a lot on our visit. The sweetie pie says's to me that he does not even know what her favorite color is, her favorite food, or her favorite thing. This pretty much brings tears to my eyes. He asks me if I could call my Dad..aka...Grumpa and ask him if he knows what her favorite things are. I call my Grumpa and he answers all his questions he then jokingly says that her favorite thing was him. Cole says....... I knew Grandpa was her favorite thing.

I seemed to have survived the nasty virus that over took my house last week. What can I say except I am a rock star. I wish I didn't spend six days obsessing about getting it. My Dad may be right when he tells me not to worry about things till they happen. I just can't get my mind to think that way.

Will this ever end???

I feel like we should have a boom box in front of the house that repeats DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON. I can't believe this funk of the stomach bug is still running my house. When will it end. I'm beginning to feel like a trapped rat. Does this funk know that all the Halloween stuff is on sale in the stores??? I'm totally missing out. I did get all my Halloween decorations put up today. The witch and the warlock scared the shit out of me more than once. They were placed in the entry way waiting for Hub's to get home and take them to the attic. I may have screamed the first time I caught them out of the corner of my eye. Bet I looked like a real asshole.

While cleaning up the decorations we place the GIANT spider over sleeping sick Aidy. We are a little on the evil side in this house sometimes. We wait a few minutes to see what his reaction will be.

We give Aidan a little tickle on the cheek and run away. We are hoping to get a funny reaction when he wakes up to discover the spider. Not so much, he just looks at it and goes back to sleep. I kind of feel guilty when he wakes up ten minutes later to up chuck in the bucket. After he is done up chucking Cole walks over and is looking in the bucket. I ask......... why would you want to look at that?????? His response.........I want to see what he ate today. Seriously????? That must be a total boy thing!

Blake has turned into that kid I have to tell to do things ten times. When did this happen???? I'm feeling like such a failure lately. Somewhere I have gone terribly wrong raising these people. This is not a cry for help people, just a little vent! I wouldn't dare do or say the things that my kids do and say to my parents. When I was a kid when it was time to go to bed you went to bed. You didn't dare say "not yet" or come down ten times asking for stuff. I wouldn't dare tell my Mom or Dad NO, at least not till high school. Geez, I just scared myself with the thought of them in high school. I see a padded room in my future. If you didn't like the taste of your dinner you ate it anyway. I only thought in my head I had the worst Mother ever. I never voiced that opinion to her face. It's to bad it is no longer legal to kick their asses. Maybe that's the problem with kids these days! I may just need to pull out a can of whoop ass on them.

Because Cole has missed two days of school he has even more homework than usual. Doing homework with this particular child is the equivalent to having the life sucked out of you. We always end up in a fight. I don't know if other parents feel this way or if I am just an asshole that shouldn't be a parent. I have actually been brought too tears doing homework with him. I'm not proud but I have lost my temper on more than one occasion as well. It shouldn't be this hard! Hell these kids are in school for seven hours already. We have too find time for fighting over homework in between playing, having a snack, practices, dinner, showers, and sometimes TV. I would love to take the easy way out and hire some college kid to come over and do homework with my kids. Since I don't have unlimited funds YET that just ain't going to happen. During homework some threats usually get exchanged. Hub's and I sometimes end up in fights over doing homework with the kids. I usually have to sit with Cole the whole time. He fidgets, talks to himself, sings, looks around, pets the dog, yells "I don't get this", and pretty much drives me to the brink of insanity. I sound like a total lazy ass about now! It's just not my favorite part of the day.

I can't believe this bug is still going strong. Poor baby! Though I have been nursing kids back to health since Friday now. I'm not one of those crazed Mom's that say I want to take this sickness from you. Don't get me wrong I'm sad that they got it and I feel real bad for them. But good God I don't want this shitz! How old do they got to be before you could send them to the room to be sick alone and take take of themselves?????? Please God I really would like this one to pass me by!

A few re-caps of my day. Not yet getting the flu I found myself singing that Elton John song "I'm still standing" in my head. I find that facebook has become pretty boring. What happened to all the crazy up dates people used to post???? Though I did see one funny thing where someone posted they were single and their x hit the "like" button. He then posted a bunch of break up songs. Though I am sad for the break-up that was just a little amusing. I learned never comment on a middle school girls post. You will in turn get 50 E-mails of all her friends comments. Most important I learned just when you think you are an invisible housewife someone has come across one of your blog postings and it is quite embarrassing. This makes me want to go back to my original idea of having a ghost blog instead of airing my dirty laundry with my real name attached to it. This shitz can get you in trouble. I ended my night by watching my favorite show Modern Family and then watched Robin Williams interview Country music stars. What I realize is I really want to be a singer I wish I could sing!