Road trip

So we made it to Chicago. I can't figure out how to get a YouTube video we posted from the trip on here. Computer savvy is not my middle name. We headed out Wednesday to Dallas for the night. I have to say this might have been our best road trip ever together. We sang loud and bad all the way there....so much fun. There were no fights I can't believe it. I might have pinched myself when I got there because I couldn't believe it. We made a pit stop there to see Hub's family.

The next morning my dad...aka...Grumps was flying in to take us the rest of the way. Best dad ever comes to mind. This is our third year making this drive with him. When we picked him up it was still pouring from the night before. It poured our first three hours on this day trip. We were kind of packed in that car like sardines. One Grumpy old guy, three smelly kids, one perfect dog, and perfect me.  I look forward to spending that time with my dad every year. The kids wanted to drive straight through to Chicago. After talking with my twisted sister and finding out that they were cleaning all day Friday. My Grumps and I wanted to get a hotel room. We know how to avoid this cleaning bullshit. We drove till about 7:30 and then stopped at "The Best Western". Plus the kids were getting most annoying. I guess ten hours in the car is just too much. After we got settled we headed out to apple bee's for a much needed better than McDonald's meal plus a cocktail. We laughed at all the characters we saw at  pit stops along the way. I would be the cats meow for sure if I lived in one of these towns. I'm moving BTW! One place we stopped had showers!!!! Can you imagine some of the strange things that have probably happened in those showers. I think they need a reality show where someone travels around and makes friends at pit stops and in small towns. Now that would be good entertainment.

We headed back to the hotel where the kids swam, dad and Blake watched basketball, and I made friends with the most white trash women at the pool. She smoked and drank and I listened to all of the stories of her X-husbands. I find these kind of people most fascinating. I was totally intrigued. She was around my age but looked a lot older so I thought. While she talked I looked at the crows feet around her eyes. After I got back to the hotel I realized those damn crows had landed on me when I wasn't looking.. All I can think is when did this happen. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and don't recognize the old ass looking back at you. It kind of sucks.

Dad is no night owl. Since we were sharing a room I found myself in bed at 10:30. For a minute I thought about getting a beer from the fridge and grabbing my 50 shades freed book and heading back to the pool to read. I gave up when my kids were acting badly and realized it was time to shut this party down. There was not enough booze to get through this night comfortably numb anyway.  Dad and Blake had one bed. I had the other with the little guys and the dog. At first I laid there with just an inch of space. I was listening to Dad snore. My bed smelled like a combination of smelly feet and farts. The two little guys wrestled and farted next to me. When I had finally had enough I got between them. I had a hard time falling asleep. I have programmed my body to never sleep before 12. I woke up at 2:30 hot as shit feeling like the center of a bean burrito. The kids were all up in my shit. I had ones leg draped over me, the other ones arm around my neck, and the dog was across my feet. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a really skinny guy in a cowboy hat wiggling around in front of the TV. I laid there half asleep wondering if I was looking at a ghost. I thought I wonder if that guy died in the room. For some reason I wasn't scared. I laid there trying to make this thing out forever. I reached for my phone to shine a light. Hoping the ghost would not make eye contact with me. When I shined my light I realized what I thought was a cowboy hat was the lamp shade. I guess my eyes were playing tricks on me. At seven am I woke up to my favorite sound in the world. It was Grumps standing over me saying get up, it's time to get up, over and over. Brought me right back to HS!!!!!!

We got on the road around 8am to Chicago. My kids had totally snowed me that first night driving to Dallas. They were still the biggest assholes I ever drove with. Dad and I laughed while driving through Missouri. Every driver had a smoke in hand while driving. I tried to read 50 but it just wasn't that good reading smut while driving with dad and my kids. We rolled into Chicago at about three on Friday. When we unloaded the car and opened the suitcases everything was soaked from the rain. I spent the rest of the day and night re-washing everything!!!!

Since getting here we have been getting ready to throw a graduation party for my son. Kelly and I left today to look for an outfit. She gave me a hard time about not trying things on. So I did, horrified at the sight of myself naked in the dressing room I left with nothing. Kelly and I laughed about it. We headed to whole foods after that. We were all googly eyed in the cupcake station. We left whole foods with cupcakes and Vodka mixers. We vowed to a cupcake and vodka diet while I'm here. I told Kelly tonight while we were sitting in front of a chip bowl to picture herself naked before she takes a bite!!!! We laughed like school girls.  Tomorrow is the party....wish us luck.

Why do Mondays suck????

What is it about Mondays???? They really just suck. I always make promises to myself that I never seem to keep on Mondays! I'm going to workout more, start eating healthy, taking better care of myself, stop procrastinating, and so on and so on. Why is it so easy to sit on the sofa eating cheeseburgers and drinking soda rather than working out and eating seeds, nuts, fruits, and veggies????

Our weekend was spent running around to games on Saturday. Well I should say mine. Hubby was at the longhorn game. While talking to my Mom...aka...Debbie Downer I tell her Michael is at the longhorn game. Her response is......Does anyone ever talk about that guy who shot people from the tower???? WHAT????? I ask her what year was that???? She says...I don't know, before you were born. So when I think of a Texas Longhorn I think of a sea of Orange, drinking beers, and having blast! I guess when Debbie thinks of longhorns she sees the shooter. That was over 40 years ago, get over it Debbie. I mean that in the most thoughtful way of course!

Crazy thing I was working on this blog entry last night. I got tired and decided 2 finish it today. When I woke up it was all over the news that there was a shooter at the UT campus this morning. The campus is in lock down. Sounds like everyone is safe except the shooter took his own life in the library. I'm slightly creeped out right now. That was a weird feeling when I woke up and heard that. Thinking about all the people at UT today.

Sunday we went to one of our favorite neighbors kids longhorn party. A lot of the people there were UT grads. It was a sea of orange. Lots of fun. I took the pictures for the party and I have 2 say they turned out great. My friend Hillary needs 2 go into the party planning business, this party was unbelievable. Later that night Blake was standing at the refrigerator while I was in front of the TV. He yells over...Hey Mom do we have hot dogs??? I yell back...Are you serious kid??? He yells back...well do we? I yell back....Are you standing in front of the fridge with the door open???? He yells...yeah! I yell....well then look in it and see if YOU see any hot dogs, you hot dog! I get another yell from the bathroom....Hey Mom can you come here. This is never a good sign when they want you 2 come 2 the bathroom. This usually means they are sick or have some strange color poop. I walk over and there sits Aidan on the pot. He looks at me with this giant smile on his face. This is good no one is sick or scared of the color of the poop. I ask what do you need??? He tells me you are not going to believe what came out of my butt. I'm thinking unless you just shit a billion dollar bill out your ass I really have no interest. I bite since he looks so pleased with himself. He gets up and makes me look at a giant turd. I'm taken back for many reasons. I first can't believe this came out of someone his size! I second can't believe my life has come 2 looking at giant turds in the toilet. My twisted sister would love this SHIT....me not so much! I'm a girly girl, I don't like 2 look at turds! He then in his ever so proud manner tells me that this is a turd that Daddy would poop! fantastic, good for you...now can I please go back to watching Desperate Housewives????

Monday morning I get up get the kids ready and have the Hubs take them 2 school since he is leaving for Atlanta. I of course go back 2 bed because it is what I do best. After I wake up I go 2 Walmart. While shopping in there I see a lady in the wine aisle. She has a cart full of cat food and at least ten bottles of wine. When I feel down about my life I just have 2 run into 2 people like this. I want one day with this lady. Even though wine makes me sicker than a dog. I want 2 see how she lives. I'm am always intrigued by others.

I'm looking for a sports timer for Blake. This is for his new referee job. I stop a guy in the sports section and ask for help. He checks out my cart and tells me people like me are his bread and butter and thanks me for shopping at Walmart. All I want is a sports timer! The only people working at Walmart making the bread and butter are the Walmart people! He gets me right 2 the sports timers. I take it and go on my way. He follows me down the aisle still thanking me....I'm starting 2 get uncomfortable......What the Hell, these crazy people don't work at Target! I'm thinking...leave me a lone they are not paying that much anyway.....no need 2 kiss my butt.

I get home pick up the kids. My car that I LOVE so much dies in the parking lot. My friends Hubby has 2 come 2 jump start it. I have 2 have Cole at FB practice at 5:30. I drop him off and go 2 pick up Blake and his friends at FB practice from the middle school. While driving home we come across this car that is painted yellow and black, it has Jesus stuff all over the hood, the top, and the trunk. When I say Jesus stuff I mean giant statues of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus in every size you can imagine. The boys want me to follow this car so they can get a picture on their phones. I find myself at 40 chasing this Jesus car down some country winding road. The boys are laughing like crazy. I am the cool Mom and I'm OK with that! I start 2 stress a little since we are starting 2 go way out of our way. I think the car realizes we are chasing it and pulls over. The boys get their pics. I can't figure out how 2 get the pic from my phone 2 the computer otherwise I would have it here. It was fun chasing that car.

We get home and Hubby is out of town. I get the kids showered and in bed. I really don't know why but I am sitting here with every light on in the house. the TV on, the computer on, and no one telling me 2 turn anything off! This is heaven 2 me!

Anyway there is way 2 much on my DVR 2 be messing with this! The house is mine, the TV, lights, and computer! I will be sitting in a not picked up house watching TV. I will go 2 bed naked doing bed angels with no one trying 2 get some....Life is good with these people I live with!