Road trip

So we made it to Chicago. I can't figure out how to get a YouTube video we posted from the trip on here. Computer savvy is not my middle name. We headed out Wednesday to Dallas for the night. I have to say this might have been our best road trip ever together. We sang loud and bad all the way there....so much fun. There were no fights I can't believe it. I might have pinched myself when I got there because I couldn't believe it. We made a pit stop there to see Hub's family.

The next morning my dad...aka...Grumps was flying in to take us the rest of the way. Best dad ever comes to mind. This is our third year making this drive with him. When we picked him up it was still pouring from the night before. It poured our first three hours on this day trip. We were kind of packed in that car like sardines. One Grumpy old guy, three smelly kids, one perfect dog, and perfect me.  I look forward to spending that time with my dad every year. The kids wanted to drive straight through to Chicago. After talking with my twisted sister and finding out that they were cleaning all day Friday. My Grumps and I wanted to get a hotel room. We know how to avoid this cleaning bullshit. We drove till about 7:30 and then stopped at "The Best Western". Plus the kids were getting most annoying. I guess ten hours in the car is just too much. After we got settled we headed out to apple bee's for a much needed better than McDonald's meal plus a cocktail. We laughed at all the characters we saw at  pit stops along the way. I would be the cats meow for sure if I lived in one of these towns. I'm moving BTW! One place we stopped had showers!!!! Can you imagine some of the strange things that have probably happened in those showers. I think they need a reality show where someone travels around and makes friends at pit stops and in small towns. Now that would be good entertainment.

We headed back to the hotel where the kids swam, dad and Blake watched basketball, and I made friends with the most white trash women at the pool. She smoked and drank and I listened to all of the stories of her X-husbands. I find these kind of people most fascinating. I was totally intrigued. She was around my age but looked a lot older so I thought. While she talked I looked at the crows feet around her eyes. After I got back to the hotel I realized those damn crows had landed on me when I wasn't looking.. All I can think is when did this happen. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and don't recognize the old ass looking back at you. It kind of sucks.

Dad is no night owl. Since we were sharing a room I found myself in bed at 10:30. For a minute I thought about getting a beer from the fridge and grabbing my 50 shades freed book and heading back to the pool to read. I gave up when my kids were acting badly and realized it was time to shut this party down. There was not enough booze to get through this night comfortably numb anyway.  Dad and Blake had one bed. I had the other with the little guys and the dog. At first I laid there with just an inch of space. I was listening to Dad snore. My bed smelled like a combination of smelly feet and farts. The two little guys wrestled and farted next to me. When I had finally had enough I got between them. I had a hard time falling asleep. I have programmed my body to never sleep before 12. I woke up at 2:30 hot as shit feeling like the center of a bean burrito. The kids were all up in my shit. I had ones leg draped over me, the other ones arm around my neck, and the dog was across my feet. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a really skinny guy in a cowboy hat wiggling around in front of the TV. I laid there half asleep wondering if I was looking at a ghost. I thought I wonder if that guy died in the room. For some reason I wasn't scared. I laid there trying to make this thing out forever. I reached for my phone to shine a light. Hoping the ghost would not make eye contact with me. When I shined my light I realized what I thought was a cowboy hat was the lamp shade. I guess my eyes were playing tricks on me. At seven am I woke up to my favorite sound in the world. It was Grumps standing over me saying get up, it's time to get up, over and over. Brought me right back to HS!!!!!!

We got on the road around 8am to Chicago. My kids had totally snowed me that first night driving to Dallas. They were still the biggest assholes I ever drove with. Dad and I laughed while driving through Missouri. Every driver had a smoke in hand while driving. I tried to read 50 but it just wasn't that good reading smut while driving with dad and my kids. We rolled into Chicago at about three on Friday. When we unloaded the car and opened the suitcases everything was soaked from the rain. I spent the rest of the day and night re-washing everything!!!!

Since getting here we have been getting ready to throw a graduation party for my son. Kelly and I left today to look for an outfit. She gave me a hard time about not trying things on. So I did, horrified at the sight of myself naked in the dressing room I left with nothing. Kelly and I laughed about it. We headed to whole foods after that. We were all googly eyed in the cupcake station. We left whole foods with cupcakes and Vodka mixers. We vowed to a cupcake and vodka diet while I'm here. I told Kelly tonight while we were sitting in front of a chip bowl to picture herself naked before she takes a bite!!!! We laughed like school girls.  Tomorrow is the party....wish us luck.