The house of Vomit!

So LOL. my Dad...aka.....the Grumpa was "the situation" for Halloween. I so wish we lived closer. He sent me pics on his phone of them going to their neighborhood party! Two hours late mind you because Mom....Aka.... Debbie Downer is an ass dragger. I happen too have gotten that ass dragging gene from her. So last night Hubby and I take it easy because Cole...aka...Drama, and Aidan...aka...the worry wort have games all day on Saturday. Blake...aka...?...spends the night at his second home. We go to bed at a decent hour. Four am Hubby wakes me up and says Blake is calling from his friends house he has puked all over and needs us to get him. Now this is the kid since he was two used to puke in the toilet in the middle of the night, go back to bed and tell us in the morning! Figures that he is at someones house and pukes all down their carpeted hallway! We tell him to go wake up the parents, he can't just leave the puke there. He is embarrassed and doesn't want to tell them. I send Hubby over there to get him and to clean up their hallway. Blake did wake his friend up to get the Mom. She was really nice about the thing and wouldn't let Hubby help clean it. If that were me I would have totally let him clean it up. I hate puke especially someones kid other than my own. As soon as Hubby gets home with him I get an immediate tummy ache. I don't know why but my mind will often mess with me when someone is sick in the house. I can't decide if I got it or if it is the evil part of my mind. I go to lay down in the room next to Blakes in case he needs me. He throws up every hour on the hour. Omg, the sound of it is enough to make me lose my cookies. I wake up at about nine to get Aidan to his soccer game. I can't get out of the germ infested house fast enough. I'm kind of picturing the house with a purple fog rolling through it and little green germ guys running around laughing like gremlins flipping me off as they run by. BTW, the picture you are about to see is Mom...aka...Debbie Downer dressed as Snookie.

After I drop Aidan off I have to run out to Cole's last football game. I stop to get some sprite for Blake. I walk in the house and it just smells like a sick house. I get out as fast as I can. All the way to Cole's game I start planning my sickness. Will it come today???? That would probably work out best for me. Will it come on Halloween???? That would be awful I have the best decorated house in the hood. I look forward to Halloween every year. Will it get me on Monday??? That is not good either because Blake has his last football game. I don't have time for this shit! I think maybe I will try reverse psychology with my mind. Here I am driving talking away to myself like some crazed women. I say to myself I don't care if I get this come and get me, just please don't let these people I live with have it on Halloween. My mind can't do it so I keep planning my sickness, I start to feel sick with worry. I start planning all the things I need to get done before I go down. I need to carve pumpkins, get the kids costumes ready, and do some laundry. I start wondering when will this stuff get me????? Will it come in the middle of the night and wake me up from a good sleep??? Will it get me mid day right as I am in the middle of something??? Will it get me in public??????


After Cole's game we all head back out to the soccer fields for Aidan's second game. I stop back by the house to check on Blake. There is a bucket of puke next to him by the sofa. Damn where am I going to sit tonight I feel like everything in this house is contaminated. I go to the bathroom and as I turn off the light switch I think I bet one of those nasty green guys was on there. I wish at this point I had one of those big ass jump suites that Doctors wear when someone has the plague. We get back from Aidan's game and I tell the little guys to go play out side and don't get anywhere near Blake. Of course they sit right down beside him and watch the Disney channel. So I come around the corner to see them like this. I stop and it's almost as if the future is playing in slow motion right before my eyes. I see Cole getting sick somewhere like my car. I see Aidan getting sick in the middle of the night so I have to get up and wash sheets. Would it be bad of me if I set up a tent with cots and plastic sheets in the driveway for them???? Just until we weather through this storm. Maybe I should just go get a hotel for a few days. I will leave them buckets, plastic sheets, and a cell phone. I decide to make some food for the next couple of days in case I get sick they will have something to pop in the oven.

Afraid to touch anything in the house I watch Blake move around the house infecting everything. Would it be bad to wrap him in plastic???? I will poke some holes so he can breath. I have to yell at Cole for something and he says....Mom your so dramatic. I say I'm your Mother you can't say things like that to me, you can only think them or tell your friends about them. What does he say?????......But your a dramatic Mother and walks away. I stand there pretty much dumb founded. I don't even know how to fight this kid I feel like my white flag is up! I GIVE UP!

I wake up Sunday morning I slept upstairs to be close to Blake. I'm laying there thinking I made it through the night. As I'm laying there I'm thinking did Hubby come in and say he's got it or did I dream that???? I did't dream it, another one bites the dust! So anyway I'm preparing the house for the plague and I'm waiting too up chuck. I wish I was a dude, I bet all this crazy does occupy their minds.