Road trip

So we made it to Chicago. I can't figure out how to get a YouTube video we posted from the trip on here. Computer savvy is not my middle name. We headed out Wednesday to Dallas for the night. I have to say this might have been our best road trip ever together. We sang loud and bad all the way there....so much fun. There were no fights I can't believe it. I might have pinched myself when I got there because I couldn't believe it. We made a pit stop there to see Hub's family.

The next morning my dad...aka...Grumps was flying in to take us the rest of the way. Best dad ever comes to mind. This is our third year making this drive with him. When we picked him up it was still pouring from the night before. It poured our first three hours on this day trip. We were kind of packed in that car like sardines. One Grumpy old guy, three smelly kids, one perfect dog, and perfect me.  I look forward to spending that time with my dad every year. The kids wanted to drive straight through to Chicago. After talking with my twisted sister and finding out that they were cleaning all day Friday. My Grumps and I wanted to get a hotel room. We know how to avoid this cleaning bullshit. We drove till about 7:30 and then stopped at "The Best Western". Plus the kids were getting most annoying. I guess ten hours in the car is just too much. After we got settled we headed out to apple bee's for a much needed better than McDonald's meal plus a cocktail. We laughed at all the characters we saw at  pit stops along the way. I would be the cats meow for sure if I lived in one of these towns. I'm moving BTW! One place we stopped had showers!!!! Can you imagine some of the strange things that have probably happened in those showers. I think they need a reality show where someone travels around and makes friends at pit stops and in small towns. Now that would be good entertainment.

We headed back to the hotel where the kids swam, dad and Blake watched basketball, and I made friends with the most white trash women at the pool. She smoked and drank and I listened to all of the stories of her X-husbands. I find these kind of people most fascinating. I was totally intrigued. She was around my age but looked a lot older so I thought. While she talked I looked at the crows feet around her eyes. After I got back to the hotel I realized those damn crows had landed on me when I wasn't looking.. All I can think is when did this happen. There comes a day when you look in the mirror and don't recognize the old ass looking back at you. It kind of sucks.

Dad is no night owl. Since we were sharing a room I found myself in bed at 10:30. For a minute I thought about getting a beer from the fridge and grabbing my 50 shades freed book and heading back to the pool to read. I gave up when my kids were acting badly and realized it was time to shut this party down. There was not enough booze to get through this night comfortably numb anyway.  Dad and Blake had one bed. I had the other with the little guys and the dog. At first I laid there with just an inch of space. I was listening to Dad snore. My bed smelled like a combination of smelly feet and farts. The two little guys wrestled and farted next to me. When I had finally had enough I got between them. I had a hard time falling asleep. I have programmed my body to never sleep before 12. I woke up at 2:30 hot as shit feeling like the center of a bean burrito. The kids were all up in my shit. I had ones leg draped over me, the other ones arm around my neck, and the dog was across my feet. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a really skinny guy in a cowboy hat wiggling around in front of the TV. I laid there half asleep wondering if I was looking at a ghost. I thought I wonder if that guy died in the room. For some reason I wasn't scared. I laid there trying to make this thing out forever. I reached for my phone to shine a light. Hoping the ghost would not make eye contact with me. When I shined my light I realized what I thought was a cowboy hat was the lamp shade. I guess my eyes were playing tricks on me. At seven am I woke up to my favorite sound in the world. It was Grumps standing over me saying get up, it's time to get up, over and over. Brought me right back to HS!!!!!!

We got on the road around 8am to Chicago. My kids had totally snowed me that first night driving to Dallas. They were still the biggest assholes I ever drove with. Dad and I laughed while driving through Missouri. Every driver had a smoke in hand while driving. I tried to read 50 but it just wasn't that good reading smut while driving with dad and my kids. We rolled into Chicago at about three on Friday. When we unloaded the car and opened the suitcases everything was soaked from the rain. I spent the rest of the day and night re-washing everything!!!!

Since getting here we have been getting ready to throw a graduation party for my son. Kelly and I left today to look for an outfit. She gave me a hard time about not trying things on. So I did, horrified at the sight of myself naked in the dressing room I left with nothing. Kelly and I laughed about it. We headed to whole foods after that. We were all googly eyed in the cupcake station. We left whole foods with cupcakes and Vodka mixers. We vowed to a cupcake and vodka diet while I'm here. I told Kelly tonight while we were sitting in front of a chip bowl to picture herself naked before she takes a bite!!!! We laughed like school girls.  Tomorrow is the party....wish us luck.

Summer, summer, summer, time!!!!! Can everyone hear the screaming coming from my house???

 The house has a sign that says..."Coming soon".  This is brilliant. We have had two showings of people who want to be the first to see it. The realtor came by today so I could sign all of the paperwork before my super fun road trip to Chicago. Hub's and I totally showed our ass in front of him fighting like two immature teenagers. I swear this is going to be the death of us. We are still fighting about everything. The first people who looked at it may make an offer this week. We have NO WHERE to go. So glad Hub's had this great idea to move. I'm stressed to my breaking point. Hub's wants to donate and get rid of all kinds of stuff. I like to hold on to things. Anyone know of a good therapist?????

 The kids wanted to head to the pool today. I had a ton of stuff to do. I finally have a kid old enough to take the little ones without me!!!!!!!

I was supposed to pack while they were gone.  I couldn't get my damn face out of that 50 shades book again. I got not a thing done. When I went to get the kids from the pool Aidan's face looked a bit more messed up. He walked up to the car and I said......."What now". They went to the workout center and he was trying to run too fast on the treadmill and fell!!!!! Really??? He looks like someone beat the crap out of him. This kid has been accident prone since he popped out. He was an accident in the first place.....the best accident I ever had. My old neighbors in Frisco used to say if they didn't know me they would call CPS. This was because he always had a mark of some kind on him. There was a time when I thought he couldn't see or hear right because he fell down so much. I remember one time Hub's and I were sitting at the kitchen table. He was about three. It looked like someone pushed him into the wall in front of us......but no one was there. We both looked at each other with that "WTF" look on our faces.

My house was full once again....full of stinky boys that is. I don't know why I'm "the house".....I'm really not per say a kid lover. They get on my nerves. Yet they all seem to love to be here. Reminds me a little bit of me in my younger years....always trying to get the attention of people who really weren't that into me. I once tried to get a gay guy to turn straight for me. Like I said before....anyone know a great therapist????? I really do like this group of kids. I think my younger two have picked their friends wisely. They hang out with a really good group. I hope they stay with them. This is always a big conversation in our house. I really believe your friends make you or break you. I think back to my younger years. When I hung out with good kids I made good decisions. When I hung out with the bad kids I did bad stuff.

The boys love to harass the best dog ever. Because he is the best dog ever he puts up with all of it. He is going to Chicago with us too!!!


Tomorrow we start to make our way to Chicago. I'm not packed yet either. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants girl. I wish I was super wealthy....Christian Grey wealthy. Then I wouldn't pack a thing. I would just buy more shit when I got there. So anyway tomorrow we drive to Dallas to spend the night with Hub's family. Thursday my Dad flies in. We will pick him up at DFW and start our long ass drive. I do happen to have the best dad ever even if he is a little grumpy. This will be the third year my dad does this. The first year the car broke down in a dry county. We were stranded with three boys a dog and no alcohol. That was no fun. Last year we flew the two older boys up there. My dad, the dog, Aidan, and I drove. We packed beer that trip!!!! When we got to the hotel there was no can opener. I still laugh when I think of my dad opening beer on the door jam. Like I said.....best dad ever!!!!!!!!!!!

My final note of the night.......I heard someone say that "once you go black you never go back" saying recently. I had to giggle. I was at a bar recently and there was a white guy and a black guy dancing close to each other. When I heard someone say this I flashed to those two dancing side by side. I think there might be something to that saying. Again sorry for bad grammar and all that. I'm too tired to proof read!

Let the summer wars begin!!!

 It's been a while since my last blog post. That is because my life has been something of a cluster fuck lately. It has not only become a cluster fuck but it has also been an emotional fuck the last few weeks. My oldest has graduated from the 8th grade. I don't know why this has hit me so hard but it has. Perhaps is because I'm about to embark on the final stage of raising him under my roof. I'm also about to embark on the hardest years with him. I already see the changes coming. He doesn't want to hang with us very much anymore and he has become some what of a know it all. BTW, he knows nothing! Since there has been a little drama in his 8th grade group he has starting spending time with some other kids. I was talking to him about the fact that we are from a small town and he needs to choose his friends carefully. Your friends can make you or break you. I was giving him a hard time about this. He text me from upstairs....because this is how kids communicate these days. The text reads......"You are kind of making me mad about this whole friends thing. You always tell me not to judge people. Now you are judging. I have never given you a reason not to trust me. You need to trust me now. You can tell me what to do when I break that trust. I'm going to be friends with who I want. This guy doesn't do all that crap anyway. You need to chill out". I'm dumb founded. I want to cry. I do text back......Do you think I fell off a turnip truck???? You know when you see your kid making a bad decision and you seem to have lost control of it!!!! I don't know how to get through to him. He argues with me that this is a group who accepts him and doesn't talk behind his back. I get it, I really do. I was young once. I was kind of a bouncer in a sense. I hung out with lots of different people. But I remember what I was doing with the ones with bad reps. I argued the same points to my parents. Why can't we just program our children like computers to do what we want until they are old enough not to make mistakes??????? I'm still on him and will not stop. I keep trying to get him back with his old friends. When I tell him to hang out with them he says....."Mom how can I hang out when I am not invited?" Heartbreaking!!!!!! Being a parent is by far the hardest job in the world. I think we as women take it personally when our kids are not being perfect. We live with constant guilt.

I sat him down after his grades started to slip at the end of the year. I said.....take a good look around this house and everything in it. He kind of rolled his eyes and said...yeah. I said....Do you like the nice house, nice TVs, computers, Xbox, iPads, iPhones, and so on. He said yes...as he rolled his eyes again. I told him this is a temporary residence for him and his Dad and I own all these great things. I told him it takes lots of work to maintain this type of lifestyle. I told him if this is the type of life he likes he better get it together. Sad thing is I remember my parents telling me things like this. At the time it went in one ear and out the other!!!!! The world would be such a better place if we aged in reverse.

 The holiday weekend Uncle Jeffy and Tracy came in from Dallas. We headed to the lake.

 The kids had a blast.

 The holiday weekends always bring in the crazy crowd. We had three boats of families with us. Not a one of us could take our eyes off this train wreck of a boat. That girl in the pink bottoms could move her ass better than anything I have ever seen. I had this fear of my kids in their early twenties on a train wreck of a boat like this!!!!!!! Please God, HELP ME.

 Cole wants to give them a run for their money. We saw girls in thongs, girls that had their tops off, and lots of crazy dancing. After we left Lake Travis....Hub's said we are sticking to Lake Austin from now on. That is more of a family lake.

 When we got home that night one of my good friends from Dallas stayed the night with us. This is her daughter that Blake went to school with before we moved. They were great friends. They barely said two words to each other this visit!!!!!! I had a great time visiting with Michelle....even if she is workout barbie. I had to lay next to her at the pool. This was an ego blow for sure. I wanted to stuff cheese puffs in her mouth!!!! I layed on the lawn chair trying to stretch my body out and suck everything in. Totally jealous of her body. I know what to do....I just can't do it. She knows what to do and just does it. Sometimes I swear I wish I could wake up a totally different person. Ya know the kind that wants to eat right and work out!!!!! Is that really fun though????  I do still grab my stomach fat while watching shit TV and ask it to go away......it just doesn't seem to hear me.

 This is Cole with one of his friends on the last day of school. An odd pair but they work. I hope this guy has Cole's back in middle school. I was sad once again. This is Cole's last day in elementary school. I can't help but think where has the time went. When we moved here yesterday he was starting the first grade. Damn it to all those old people who were right about time flying!!!!! Speaking of old people. While Jeff and Tracy were visiting. We were all sitting on the patio. Blake came out and was texting. We asked him who he was texting. He said some girl from Lake Travis he met at the Nutty Brown. He tells us he told her she eats too much. We are all like......Don't tell her that! I say.....You have no game. He looks up at us and says.......You no longer know the game because the game has changed!!!!!!!! We all look at each other and say......when did we become the old folks and not the young cool ones. I can't help but think I still want to be at the kids table. Ya know throwing food at the person across from you. Hiding your pea's in your napkin. Wishing you were over there at the "Adult table". The adult table is totally overrated...I want a redo! I would so love the kids table. When it came time for me to move to the adult one I would go kicking and screaming for sure. These are the reasons I want to scream to get through to my kids about not wanting to grow up too fast. Enjoy that kids table...it's way harder to be an adult.

 After school let out we found a great place to hang out. It's called Camp Ben, very close to the house and free. It has a great rope swing. The people watching is too die for!!!!

It's like a slice of heaven there....if you pretend you don't see the people smoking pot a few feet away!!!!

Anyway summer has started.......First day out we ended up in the ER. Aidan busted his eye open with a bat. The fights between the boys are constant. Broken shit already, we have a sign in our yard that says...coming soon. Hub's and I are about to get divorced over this move. We are fighting about everything. Where to move, what to buy, where to buy, what to get rid of, and what to keep. I wanted to have a garage sale but I can't seem to get up before ten. Hub's wants to donate for a write off. He offered me money not to have a garage sale. I say that is BS since he is paying me with our money. We already had a showing even though the house is not yet on the market. Guess who did everything to get it together. The funny thing is it was the Dr. and his wife that stitched Aidan's eye. They said they wanted a greenbelt lot that they can put a pool in. I think damn...hot DR in my house with a pool.....I told my realtor to say I come with the house.  God help me I wish I had a wife. We are leaving for Chicago for a month in a day. I have not started packing because I can't get my face out of 50 shades! I finished the second book last night. They say this book puts the spark back in your marriage. Bullshit, this second one makes me want to slap my Hub's!!!!!!!! This guy in the book is the shit....minus the bondage issues! He adores this girl and totally changes to make her happy. It's all flowers and hearts for her.....besides the fact that he is a billionaire. Anyway....summer is here and all I have to say is wooooo fuckin whooooo......hope Dad...aka Grumps skips this post! He hates when I cuss!!!!!! Anyway sorry it's late if I miss spelled or had bad grammar it is what it is. We are headed to Chicago where I can be a kid again  and let my parents do all the good, bad, and evil. Hopefully I can keep up with this blog I hate to write in!!!!! Damn it Kelly for starting me on this bullshit!!!! BTW, I have lost friends over it!!!!!